CherryBunny
Dolce Faccia
First of all hello. I am new here. I hope I am posting in the right place. If not, I apologize.
The thing is, it is killing me. I am very certain I was a specific person in a former life. I never really gave much thought to reincarnation before about ten years ago, but now I am 99% percent certain, but I also feel I might be crazy and that if I talk about it, others will label me as crazy, too. However, I have no one to talk to about this and have not for over a decade and it is slowly tearing me apart, for my certainty is so strong. First, let me exolain my story. I do aplogize if it is so long and my wordiness. (I am autistic so am very wordy in writing, for I tend to over explain. Please bear with me.)
I think it was about 2005 or early 2006 when it happened. I was in my twenties. A person I met over the internet asked me to research a certain historic figure for him. I agreed, since I love to research. As I was researching this person, a female's name kept popping up and it kept grabbing my attention and nagging at me. In a very weird way that I can't explain. It was more than curiosity or interest. It felt more like a knowing and a calling. I finally gave in to it and started to read about this woman. What happened literally scared me to death. First let me stress that before this, I had never heard of this woman and had no idea who she was. As I read about her life, I found myself knowing ahead of time, what was coming next, before reading. I also started to get upset and angry at certain facts stated. I had this overwhelming feeling that they were completely false and it upset me greatly. I also looked up one of her former homes. It had been restored and I got extremely angry at how shabby it seemed and the closest way I can describe the feeling is like I was feeling 'How dare they do that!'
At this point, I was feeling extremely upset. It was suddenly like I had the emotions of two people. It felt scary to me. What really did it, though, was the birthday. We were both born only about four days apart, exactly 400 years apart. I am telling you EXACTLY. That is pretty darn close. At that point, I was so scared of everything. The uncontrolable feelings, the strong and strange intuition and just the whole thing. I forced myself not to think about it for a couple of years.
I finally got to the point where, once in a while, I will think on it and read about her. Most books I have read about her are trash, according to my crazy strong intuition. There was one, though. It was fiction, yet, I was so mesmorized and touched by it, I felt myself there, remembering. So much so that I would cry while reading it. That fiction book felt closer to the truth than all the non fiction books I had read. I kept thinking that the author would have actually had to be there, too, to know and record everything. It was so emotional and overwhelming. I still have the book, but I just can't reread it.
Anyway. I may be crazy but I truly believe I was this woman. I have no proof, though. Only my intuition and my emotions.
Also, please do not ask me who I was. I am not comfortable sharing that yet. It is deeply private for me, so please understand.
It is just killing me and it is so frustrating. In my brain, it feels like things are jumbled and I feel like something is there, if I could only remember it.
The thing is, it is killing me. I am very certain I was a specific person in a former life. I never really gave much thought to reincarnation before about ten years ago, but now I am 99% percent certain, but I also feel I might be crazy and that if I talk about it, others will label me as crazy, too. However, I have no one to talk to about this and have not for over a decade and it is slowly tearing me apart, for my certainty is so strong. First, let me exolain my story. I do aplogize if it is so long and my wordiness. (I am autistic so am very wordy in writing, for I tend to over explain. Please bear with me.)
I think it was about 2005 or early 2006 when it happened. I was in my twenties. A person I met over the internet asked me to research a certain historic figure for him. I agreed, since I love to research. As I was researching this person, a female's name kept popping up and it kept grabbing my attention and nagging at me. In a very weird way that I can't explain. It was more than curiosity or interest. It felt more like a knowing and a calling. I finally gave in to it and started to read about this woman. What happened literally scared me to death. First let me stress that before this, I had never heard of this woman and had no idea who she was. As I read about her life, I found myself knowing ahead of time, what was coming next, before reading. I also started to get upset and angry at certain facts stated. I had this overwhelming feeling that they were completely false and it upset me greatly. I also looked up one of her former homes. It had been restored and I got extremely angry at how shabby it seemed and the closest way I can describe the feeling is like I was feeling 'How dare they do that!'
At this point, I was feeling extremely upset. It was suddenly like I had the emotions of two people. It felt scary to me. What really did it, though, was the birthday. We were both born only about four days apart, exactly 400 years apart. I am telling you EXACTLY. That is pretty darn close. At that point, I was so scared of everything. The uncontrolable feelings, the strong and strange intuition and just the whole thing. I forced myself not to think about it for a couple of years.
I finally got to the point where, once in a while, I will think on it and read about her. Most books I have read about her are trash, according to my crazy strong intuition. There was one, though. It was fiction, yet, I was so mesmorized and touched by it, I felt myself there, remembering. So much so that I would cry while reading it. That fiction book felt closer to the truth than all the non fiction books I had read. I kept thinking that the author would have actually had to be there, too, to know and record everything. It was so emotional and overwhelming. I still have the book, but I just can't reread it.
Anyway. I may be crazy but I truly believe I was this woman. I have no proof, though. Only my intuition and my emotions.
Also, please do not ask me who I was. I am not comfortable sharing that yet. It is deeply private for me, so please understand.
It is just killing me and it is so frustrating. In my brain, it feels like things are jumbled and I feel like something is there, if I could only remember it.