Kalos
Senior Registered
So, here's my story about "remembering a past life". I put that phrase in quotes since I'm not 100% convinced this is the case and certinaly not very comfortable talking about it. Apologies also, since it's going to be a little long, I'm afraid.
I'm 48, male and have a wonderful family (two daughters I adore). I'm not an American (it matters). When I was about 30 or so, I had that dream while taking my Sunday evening nap. All the sequence was observed first person (not like watching a movie).
I was in the middle of a fierce battle, riding a horse. The scene felt like it was more of a local skirmish, part of a large scale battle. I wore a dusty blueish uniform. All around me, I could see my fellow soldiers in total confusion as bullets flew right and left, trying to control their horses but in reality doing nothing, just riding around in small circles as no specific orders were given. Every few seconds a horse or a rider or both would drop wounded or dead as we were being shot at constantly. I thought to myself, every commanding officer is dead, I'm the higher ranked now, I shall make the call or we'll all gonna die here. The hell with it, we're charging. (my fingers tremble right now as I type this. It's bringing back scenes).
I looked around for the bugler. Couldn't locate him. People were dying left and right. I brought my horse to a halt facing the enemy line and yelled "form ranks behind me". The language in the dream was english, which ain't my first language. Even my thoughts were in english, if it makes sense. I thought that a single rank would make us a smaller target and reduce the casualties. "Form ranks behind me! Form Single rank! SINGLE RANK!" They all started forming a single, long rank behind me, trying to keep their horses in place and repeating the order "form single rank" to those behind them. The battle noise was immense. So were the dust clouds our horses were creating. I was turning my head back to check once in a while, wasn't like in a movie third person perspective. I never saw myself, my face. There were about 50 of us still standing at that time. I gave the order. "Draaaaw saaaabers!".. I drew mine. "Forward! Troooot" The bullets were whizzing by, I was sure the next one would hit me. I was on the column head. The enemy line was about 300 yards away. Infantry, and were shooting at us covered behind a low stone wall. "Gallop!" I yelled and could hear the horses behind me going into a gallop. Turned a last time around and saw the column breaking up, some were faster than others. I thought to myself I should order the charge in quick succession or noone will make it alive to the wall. We were like ducks in a shooting gallery. Almost immediately I yelled "Chaaaaarge!!" and I heard the yells of my comrades behind me, yells of "charge" mixed with ferocious yells people make when, you know, charge.. mixed also with cries of pain, as people and horses were being shot, stumbling down, dust clouds rising, bullets whizzing, hell.
An undetermined amount of time later, I remember myself reaching within 10 yards of the stone wall. Must have been seconds but really I was seeing only red and grey in the meantime. I thought "how many are still behind me, I'm gonna die probably". Decided to jump over the wall. Front legs of the horse went clear above, felt the rear legs hoofs hit the top stone line of the wall but it still landed well. For the first time I saw the enemy clearly just as some of them laid down and others backed up to the left and right when I was about to jump over their heads. They wore grey uniforms and holding long muskets. Turned my horse around and saw in relief that most of us made it. Now we're gonna slay you all down, I thought in wild joy and raised my saber. Not more than 6 feet away I saw an enemy soldier cowering behind the wall, on the ground, unarmed, sheltering his head in his hands. He lifted his head and looked at me, crying in terror. I saw his face pretty well. I "recognized" him, even though he was not a look-alike, as a co-student in my high school class, in this life - the one I live now. I just knew somehow it was him. A guy that always hated me for no apparent reason but at the same time was so, so scared of me that he wouldn't even look me in the eyes. I haven't seen or heard of this guy since I was 14.
Then blank and silence. No more dreaming. But I "heard" that internal voice in my dream "and that's the day I became a captain", just as speaking to myself, in a proud manner. Like a thought, not like in another person's voice.
I woke up at that point and later told my wife about it. We had no children back then, we were married for a year or so. I remember telling her how vivid it was. I did some research on the net the next days and determined that was probably from the US Civil War. The internet wasn't what it is today 18 years ago. There wasn't all much info around to be found. I had never, ever seen a movie or read a book about that war. Ever. I'm a huge fan of history and conflicts throughout the ages but that war was always, strangely, "not of any interest" to me. I would AVOID dealing with that era.
That's my dream, I didn't change or omit or added a thing. The "commands" I describe were exactly like that. I haven't "corrected" a thing. It was not "draw swords" for example, it was "draw sabers". It was a vivid, lucid dream, full of sound and most of all emotion. Strong feelings. Fear, hate, desire.
Three years ago, at the age of 45, I remembered. Nothing in between. But that's for another post.
I'm 48, male and have a wonderful family (two daughters I adore). I'm not an American (it matters). When I was about 30 or so, I had that dream while taking my Sunday evening nap. All the sequence was observed first person (not like watching a movie).
I was in the middle of a fierce battle, riding a horse. The scene felt like it was more of a local skirmish, part of a large scale battle. I wore a dusty blueish uniform. All around me, I could see my fellow soldiers in total confusion as bullets flew right and left, trying to control their horses but in reality doing nothing, just riding around in small circles as no specific orders were given. Every few seconds a horse or a rider or both would drop wounded or dead as we were being shot at constantly. I thought to myself, every commanding officer is dead, I'm the higher ranked now, I shall make the call or we'll all gonna die here. The hell with it, we're charging. (my fingers tremble right now as I type this. It's bringing back scenes).
I looked around for the bugler. Couldn't locate him. People were dying left and right. I brought my horse to a halt facing the enemy line and yelled "form ranks behind me". The language in the dream was english, which ain't my first language. Even my thoughts were in english, if it makes sense. I thought that a single rank would make us a smaller target and reduce the casualties. "Form ranks behind me! Form Single rank! SINGLE RANK!" They all started forming a single, long rank behind me, trying to keep their horses in place and repeating the order "form single rank" to those behind them. The battle noise was immense. So were the dust clouds our horses were creating. I was turning my head back to check once in a while, wasn't like in a movie third person perspective. I never saw myself, my face. There were about 50 of us still standing at that time. I gave the order. "Draaaaw saaaabers!".. I drew mine. "Forward! Troooot" The bullets were whizzing by, I was sure the next one would hit me. I was on the column head. The enemy line was about 300 yards away. Infantry, and were shooting at us covered behind a low stone wall. "Gallop!" I yelled and could hear the horses behind me going into a gallop. Turned a last time around and saw the column breaking up, some were faster than others. I thought to myself I should order the charge in quick succession or noone will make it alive to the wall. We were like ducks in a shooting gallery. Almost immediately I yelled "Chaaaaarge!!" and I heard the yells of my comrades behind me, yells of "charge" mixed with ferocious yells people make when, you know, charge.. mixed also with cries of pain, as people and horses were being shot, stumbling down, dust clouds rising, bullets whizzing, hell.
An undetermined amount of time later, I remember myself reaching within 10 yards of the stone wall. Must have been seconds but really I was seeing only red and grey in the meantime. I thought "how many are still behind me, I'm gonna die probably". Decided to jump over the wall. Front legs of the horse went clear above, felt the rear legs hoofs hit the top stone line of the wall but it still landed well. For the first time I saw the enemy clearly just as some of them laid down and others backed up to the left and right when I was about to jump over their heads. They wore grey uniforms and holding long muskets. Turned my horse around and saw in relief that most of us made it. Now we're gonna slay you all down, I thought in wild joy and raised my saber. Not more than 6 feet away I saw an enemy soldier cowering behind the wall, on the ground, unarmed, sheltering his head in his hands. He lifted his head and looked at me, crying in terror. I saw his face pretty well. I "recognized" him, even though he was not a look-alike, as a co-student in my high school class, in this life - the one I live now. I just knew somehow it was him. A guy that always hated me for no apparent reason but at the same time was so, so scared of me that he wouldn't even look me in the eyes. I haven't seen or heard of this guy since I was 14.
Then blank and silence. No more dreaming. But I "heard" that internal voice in my dream "and that's the day I became a captain", just as speaking to myself, in a proud manner. Like a thought, not like in another person's voice.
I woke up at that point and later told my wife about it. We had no children back then, we were married for a year or so. I remember telling her how vivid it was. I did some research on the net the next days and determined that was probably from the US Civil War. The internet wasn't what it is today 18 years ago. There wasn't all much info around to be found. I had never, ever seen a movie or read a book about that war. Ever. I'm a huge fan of history and conflicts throughout the ages but that war was always, strangely, "not of any interest" to me. I would AVOID dealing with that era.
That's my dream, I didn't change or omit or added a thing. The "commands" I describe were exactly like that. I haven't "corrected" a thing. It was not "draw swords" for example, it was "draw sabers". It was a vivid, lucid dream, full of sound and most of all emotion. Strong feelings. Fear, hate, desire.
Three years ago, at the age of 45, I remembered. Nothing in between. But that's for another post.