Hi Benjamin,
Thank you for your nice comment. Sadly no, I don't remember what happened on the battlefield after I died, but it is comforting to know that souls get reunited.
I've been very surprised by how you easily managed to detach yourself from your previous identity. For now, I cannot. My war memories are too vivid and I struggle every day and night with violent images of death and horror. I keep having new memories of weapons, vehicles, details ,etc...that I retrieve online, print out and class in a file to make order in my mind.
I also struggle with the guilt of having killed so many soldiers in the most horrific ways possible. I try to tell myself that I am a different person today, but it hardly works. I think it's because I still identify to him a lot, and keep saying "I", when I talk about this soldier. Because he's still a part of me and always will.
However, I think that someday, I will manage to detach myself from this identity like you did with the Waffen SS officer. It will take time, As I discovered my PL only two months ago.
Hello!
I will try to answer all the points you raised, and overall give you a message of hope!
To give you more perspective, on my side, I have been going through these memories for quite some time, and found his name about a year ago.
As to how easily I managed to detach myself from this previous identity, I think that:
1. I have meditated a lot on it, and got to a pretty good understanding of who he was, who I am now, and the relation we have. I understand that these war memories are extremely violent, and to be honest for me too they haven't disappeared, far from it. However, it is now part of a larger experience in my life, because it is not all about the war and the suffering. Whenever I see or feel anything from this past, which still occurs quite regularly, I always put it in perspective, along with the very positive things I have gained from it
2. I strongly believe that I remembered because of unresolved issues. I don't claim that everyone's case is the same, far from it, but I have a feeling that, on my path, I had to talk to his relatives and just tell them some things. When we were together for the first time (me and his grandson, who's a truely great guy), I told them many things that I didn't know before. It was like I had, inside me, things I wasn't aware of but who were there and were waiting to be said. Once I did "resolve" this, it's like a HUGE load was taken of my back, and it's been lifechanging for me!
3. Time has passed. Surfing on a positive wave after undergoing this fantastic research, I actually made things in my current life that make me super happy. I am surrounded by people I love, I live an interesting life that is at the opposite of what I remembered from the previous experience, and I don't feel like I have "bad karma" or any punishment associated. Now these sad memories don't drag me down anymore, and it will be the same for you in a not-so-far future.
Time is your ally, and don't forget to live your life! Every step you take, in the right direction, will lead you further away from this sad past.
I think it's a blessing, to be honest. We, for reason we do not yet remember, seem to remember a sad end (and imagine how many millions souls went through the same violent end), and we were allowed to do so - I don't think it's random or here to make you suffer more.
So remember that you received this gift, however hard it is to handle, to make you grow. I am sure it will make your life more rich in teachings, it will make you see a lot of beauty in this world, and in a few months or years, here you will come to tell you story and how it brought you peace.
You were given this peace, it's right there inside you, buried in memories of blood and death, but it's here. I pray that you will walk the path to finding it!
And a small note regarding your health: if, like me, in the darkest moments, you forgot to take good care of your body balance, I would suggest to learn more about diet and balance as it has greatly helped me rebuild a very strong morale. Don't forget that, aside from your mind, you have a body that you need to take good care of, it's your vessel in this life, and the more healthy you are in your body, the less you will suffer from anxiety or (like I experienced) depression related to the horror you remember.
Hope it helped!
PS: if you live around Paris, I know a very good clinical psychologist who remembers dying in the trenches of WW2. He's a great person, a great therapist and has plenty of experience to lead you towards Peace (he was instrumental in my recovery).
Benjamin