briski
Senior Registered
You are putting yourself down to much. You shouldn't be that hard on yourself
Am I Losing Myself
- Thread starter GalaxyDreamer90
- Start date
You are putting yourself down to much. You shouldn't be that hard on yourself
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
But what if I really am autistic
briski
Senior Registered
Well everyone is on the spectrum, so not end of the world. I think you over worrying
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
Well that would explain why people are so stupid.
Angie Brown
Senior Registered
I'm not saying it's a good thing, either. I tend to consider it a neutral thing. Like red hair is (surprisingly) an abnormality. Some make fun and call red heads 'ginger'. If the red head takes it to heart and withdraws into themselves it becomes more of a problen. If they don't take it to heart and think of themselves as a red head or a sherry blond and look after their hair well, and see about making friends who aren't rude, then they will still have the problem of having to avoid wearing quite a lot of colours near the face, but that problem won't be made worse by feeling persecuted, disliked, wanting to be invisible etc., because s/he will accept her/himself as s/he is and will mix only with others who also accept them how they are.
That's the best analogy I can think of at the moment.
I wonder if you can post some photos of two or three of your art works? It's a bit cheeky of me to ask, I know, and if you would rather not then that's fine.
Best wishes,
Angie
My son is not officially autistic, but he behaves like one most of the time. He has a lot of real and longstanding friendships through the internet.
He hardly leaves his tiny room. For years he lived 24/7 in there. Just to give an idea. A lot of his friends have trouble making friendships in real life.
Sometimes somebody comes by who doesn’t make eyecontact or with weird esting habits. I don’t care.
I can tell you these people are highly interesting and intelligent. They are fluent in an exotic language or have very good knowledge of history or other topics. They really have a sense of humor and they really are empathic. It’s just that they have troubles with the outside world and with too much unpredictable circumstances and so forth.
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
Funny you should mention red hair as I have natural reddish blonde hair, which I like because I think it makes me look smart even if I'm not. Even if people say blondes aren't smart.
Angie Brown
Senior Registered
I absolutely adore sherry blond hair, on men or women, and despite that it causes problems with a lot of colours near the face I would love to have had that colour. It looks gorgeous whether long or short, or mid-length. You are so lucky with your hair. Is it from both your parents? Are your sisters also sherry blond?
I thought of another analogy. Being left handed. Just as with autism it used to be less accepted and there were often cruel efforts to 'normalise' left handed kids. At 5 yrs old, a teacher whacked me hard with a wooden ruler for using my left. Nasty mare (not only for that. She was nasty to others) gave me a mental block against using my left even now, and i'm sure that is why my handwriting and drawing skills are appalling. Yet I have never ever been able to eat with my knife in my right hand, and I carry my shoulder bag on my left. If I carry it on my right, for some reason I find I hunch up my right shoulder a lot and look odd.
These days, left handedness is accepted and it is recognised it is wrong to try and stop kids using their left. It is even possible to buy scissors and tools for left hand use.
What I was going to suggest, when you thought I was going to be offensive, is that you and your parents look into seeing a Chinese Doctor. He won't, or shouldn't, prescribe their herbs for you in case it clashes with your regular meds, but if it isn't too difficult for you to endure a good Chinese Doctor can help to release blockages and anxiety that can arise as a knock on effect, using accupressure on the feet, or accupuncture, or massage. However, disliking touch is an effect of Aspergers/Autism (Aspergers is light Autism. If you have either, I would think it is Aspergers as you clearly 'function' very well. 'Function' is a term that Doctors use). Anyway, if you dislike touch it won't suit you.
I think Briski and others have made some good points. What do you think, GalaxyDreamer90?
Best wishes,
Angie
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
Yeah both of my parents were blonde at some point but their hair got darker as they got older. The redness in my hair seems to comes more from my moms side. I tried alternative medicine once for my anxiety but it was just too expensive that I quit before it could have any effect. I'm still unsure about autism and rather it's a good or bad thing or what.
briski
Senior Registered
Main thing is dont let autism define your life
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
How do I do that. How can I be successful.
briski
Senior Registered
Autism shouldnt stop you being happy or successful. If I was you I'd draw up a list of what you want in life and target them.
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
Well there are a lot of things I would like to do. Write a story, make my own comic book, maybe make a video game and even get into fashion design. However I doubt I could be sucessful especially since I cant stay focused on anything. I'm so worried what if I'm never successful what if I even have no purpose.
briski
Senior Registered
You are over worrying imo, you'll be fine
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
But my mom even says I cant make it as an artist because I cant focus enough on my art.
briski
Senior Registered
Prove your mom wrong, parents say a lot of things
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
True but how do I prove her wrong. She's right and I do lack focus.
briski
Senior Registered
Do your best to focus, think about what your mom has said to motivate yourself.
Angie Brown
Senior Registered
Most of us who start off blond or fair go darker haired, but red heads tend to keep their colour.
The trouble with alternative medicine is that it is expensive, as practitioners aren't funded. The pharmaceuticals don't want the competition and they have a lot - too much - power, sadly.
Aspergers, good or bad? Well, it isn't a helpful condition but it isn't the worst by a long stretch. People can learn enough about it, and how it affects them personally and find out for themselves how they can handle the limitations, where and how they can stretch their limitations, learn coping techniques (all what your Counceller can explore with you to find what best suits you as an individual).
So, whilst it isn't 'good' as such it doesn't need to be as bad as it has been. Accepting it's there and it doesn't mean you can't find ways to have a good, enjoyable life is at least half the battle for anyone with any condition, including many physical conditions.
When it comes to name calling, there's no shame at all in replying "I have Aspergers, not stupidity. I gain 'B' marks for my studies and that's pretty good", and to say it with a smug grin - even if you don't feel like grinning. Or, ignore the name calling and just know those people are being ignorant.
When it comes to maybe making friends, just to mention Aspergers means sometimes taking things too seriously, like maybe a joke. Or understanding things a little differently so if they (potential friends) think you misunderstood and have taken offence when they didn't mean offence, for them to please understand and explain no offence intended.
Knowing it isn't the terrible mental illness you had thought it was, at least not for you, will hopefully make you feel more at peace and relaxed with yourself and those around you. It most certainly isn't something to be at all ashamed of, and it doesn't mean you won't have a good worthwhile and happy life.
Have you ever tried googling 'famous people who have aspergers', or 'famous artists who have aspergers'? I haven't, but I bet quite a few come up. Maybe on youtube, as well.
It doesn't make anyone good, bad, stupid or intelligent in itself but if someone is inclined to have a certain type of intelligence it can magnify that.
Best wishes,
Angie
Angie Brown
Senior Registered
Were you able to focus more before you were on meds? or when you maybe had different meds?
Best wishes,
Angie
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
Come to think of it I was able to focus better before being put on the medications I'm on now. I remember about 10 years ago being able to binge watch gameplay videos on YouTube. I remember binge watching a gameplay of the old video game earthbound back about 10 years ago on YouTube. My mom would even get on me for being on YouTube a lot those days but at least I was focused. Now I cant really binge watch video like I use to. In fact since I've been on the medications I'm on I hardly use the TV in my room or my laptop to watch videos anymore. I cant even play video games for a long time these days. I'll be sure to talk to my doctor about this next time I see him.
Angie Brown
Senior Registered
Unfortunately, there are a lot of meds that do affect the ability to concentrate, including the painkillers I have to take. They can also affect motivation and physical energy. My own 'get up and go' has gradually got up and went since being on tramadol and co-dydromol. The alternative is pain that makes me feel suicidal, and I can't do that to my family. It would leave them in far too much mental and emotional anguish and would be very cruel of me.
It does put people in a quandary though, with far better natural alternatives being expensive for many. My eldest and I have found our local Chinese Doctor very helpful in the past, and he has become very popular in our area. Our finances have changed though and we can no longer afford the almost £40 per session for six to eight weeks. Money is simply too tight now, even though the treatment has good very long term effects.
I think you are right though to ask for a review of the meds you are on. I wonder if any of them make you uncontrollably hungry, or to bloat?
Perhaps, if you are diagnosed with Aspergers and can accept and learn more about it instead of being defensive and taking offence, you won't be cross when people mention it, and they might be able to see a less cross you as not needing the meds, or as not needing such a high dose? As some of us have intimated, these days Aspergers doesn't have to mean you can't enjoy a good, happy enough life.
Our best local computer repair shop is owned by a man who has the condition, and he is happily married with a family (has been for many years now). So own business, own home and own family. He 'only' needed to accept his condition and learn to make allowances for himself where he needed to, and how to work around it where he could. Oh, and how to handle or ignore then to dismiss ignorant bullies as they came along.
It's important to tell your Doc though of any negative effects the prescription has on you.
Best wishes,
Angie
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GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
I plan on trying to get a hold of my doctor today over the phone about changing my medications as I think the current medications I'm on might be causing me to lose focus. I was on a medication that was causing me to gain some weight (plus it didn't help that I've struggled with weight since I was about in middle school due to genetics). Luckily since I got off that medication I've lost almost 30 pounds. Sorry if I don't know how many Kilograms that is. I'm not sure I could ever accept the fact that I might have autism. Even if I was to do research I'm so stubborn that it's hard for me to change my mind on something. Stubborn seems to be another personality trait I inherited from my mothers side. My mom can be pretty stubborn too. I'm still unsure if all the things I've inherited from my family are good or bad or what. Sorry if I seem to be changing the topic to genetics. I'm just curious why I am the way I am and most of it seems to be genetics.
Angie Brown
Senior Registered
Aspergers and a lot of other physical and mind conditions can be genetically inherited. Sometimes it takes a trauma to trigger a condition and if that trauma doesn't happen it doesn't develop, or doesn't develop very much. Other times it might develop without a trigger.
Did you know that strong stubborness can be a symptom of Aspergers? (I say Aspergers because IF the diagnosis is correct, then you don't seem to have the condition as severlely as some). You are very lucid, verbally able and communiate well on here).
I hope you can reach your Doctor today, but if not then try to not worry. It's only Monday and there is the rest of the week to be able get through to him.
Best wishes,
Angie
GalaxyDreamer90
Senior Member
Yeah I was technically labeled as having Aspergers and being on the high functioning end of autism. I didn't know stubborness could be a symptom of Aspergers but makes sense since most with autism can be pretty obsessive. Also my mom was also labeled as a kid but we don't know with what as gramps and grams never told her growing up. And I did have a very traumatic childhood especially growing up with 2 older sisters that are 7 and 10 years older. They were always bossing me around as a little kid and then there was the time my older sister traumatized me with a creepy doll, which I'm still trying to get over to this day.