Thank you. I ordered it this morning. In a way I'm finally catching up with everything I wanted to read at some point or another 10 years ago but I couldn't due to my location. Will it help me? I don't honestly know. The other day, after I posted, I remembered that it actually did help Phoenix, and Gershom even wrote the preface of her book. Mostly what she valued was that she felt he somehow forgave her (if memory serves). But I don't think I' m looking for forgiveness or have the need for it. I've been reading Holocaust reincarnation stories from both sides in this forum and others for years, I' ve been talking to people for years, I've been watching Holocaust documentaries for the past 20 years, and while over this time other people can get triggered by me, sadly very few trigger me, mostly dead Nazis actually, and after some online interaction. I do tend to have a pretty good radar for those who were in Auschwitz, but again, mostly Dead Nazis, except those inmates that for some reason I interacted with, in which case I "feel something" as well, just by reading them. However, what ends up being triggered is usually nothing that I would expect to be significant. I' ve been looking for years with no success to find and feel what is expected of me to find and feel, I kept thinking that I just have some sort of massive repression mechanism that is not allowing me to effectively deal with this issue. But maybe I' m looking in vain, maybe it was never exactly the issue. Yet, I keep going in circles around it.
I also used to think that I' m just insensitive to stimuli in general, not easily triggered. That didn't happen with Stuka Pilot, and I' m not even into war books, that doesn't happen with Rielke, I get all sorts of triggers and feelings. But I keep hammering my head with the Holocaust in hopes of finding something. And I' m not an imbecile or a neonazi, I understand things, but the emotional component is not what I would expect. I guess we' ll see what happens.