If you indeed find a way, please tell me!
The key is desire. It is one's desires that return the soul to life. One must genuinely lose ALL desires for this material world. This is the story of the Buddha's battle with Mara. Mara, a figure that is the essence of desire, initially tries to terrorize the Buddha, but the Buddha recognizes the attempt to overcome him with fear (a desire for safety) and denies any fear. Then Mara tries to tempt the Buddha with every sort of temptation, including having his beautiful daughters seduce him. But the Buddha again denies all temptations. Finally Mara asks who is the Buddha's witness and the Buddha calls upon the earth itself, the planetary essence of all desire, to witness his life's actions that demonstrate his rejection of all earthly materiel desire. It is reported the Buddha's last words were, "never again shall I enter another womb."
Likewise Jesus had no desire for the material world, as evidenced by descriptions of his life. This is why stories of Jesus' marriage are mere manipulation of the story to achieve certain political ends. Jesus gave up his life for his people. The lack of desire even for life is the ultimate surrender of all desire, as the fear of death is the basis of our greatest desire, i.e. to remain alive.
Life's ultimate irony is that desire can never be fulfilled, for no sooner does one obtain or fulfill a desire, than another desire replaces it. Thus man is consumed in the pursuit of temporary illusions that can never be obtained. I am always amazed at how many people tell me how much they love life and given the chance, would gladly return. Oddly enough, these are the very people that do not believe in reincarnation. I always reassure them they will indeed have another chance.
If you have any desires, and many do not recognize what constitutes a desire, these will bring one back for another cycle. This is not a matter of despising or rebuking desire; it is is a matter of losing desire completely to a point where paradoxically one no longer even desires to lose their desires. Sex is a major, driving desire that returns people to this life, one that will be used to try and lure one back to yet another physical existence. If one feels something is left unfinished or there is something that must be accomplished, this will also result in a return.
I came back to this life to finish a burning desire that I failed to achieve in my last life. In fact I met a sudden death while attempting to achieve that desire. In this life, I have since been shown how utterly wrong and absurd that desire was; but not until I manged to fulfill that desire. What is most bizarre is how I finally fulfilled that desire in almost exactly the same manner as I left it in the last life. It was very much like the experience of having a brief intermission during a movie, only this intermission lasted some 45 years.
Another issue that returns one to this existence are feelings of guilt. The feeling that one must make amends for the wrongs they have committed. Therefore, one must make amends to all the people that one has wronged or feels have committed wrongs against oneself, as again, these represent desires. The fact is everyone in these incidents are in it for themselves and you just happened to get in the way of their desires. Therefore, don't take it personally; it's not about you, it's about them. It is imperative one seeks to resolve ALL former transgressions by forgiving everyone involved, including themselves. Once one loses their own desires, the only thing remaining is to help others resolve their desires. In fact, that is the only reason for this existence.
When one comes into this world, they must make one of two choices. The first choice is one of default, the choice to help oneself to all they can get from the material world. This is the overwhelming choice made by humanity. The second choice requires a conscious effort to deny the first choice in choosing to help others. In helping others, one is further working towards a permanent departure from the life cycle. However, beware! Do not help others with that idea you are helping yourself and do not go to your grave until you have forgiven everyone - including yourself.
As the song says, "prepare yourself with what you need before you sign away the deed, 'cause it's not going to stop - till you give up."
One must recognize they have free will to choose. The soul cannot be forced to do that which it denies. However, there are many traps in this and countless books all the way back to the
Egyptian Book of the Dead, refer to these traps. These traps are much like the traps one faces in this life, traps that are in fact due to one's desires and one's choices. It is the same after death. If one is presented with certain, appealing temptations, it will be their choice to respond and accept those temptation that will then trap them in another existence.
This is obviously the briefest overview. There is of course much more to this subject than space allows. I found many of my question answered in Sufi literature. However, it took more than half a lifetime of study to glean those answers. A caution, whatever one hears or thinks they know about Sufis is invariably wrong, as these impressions are derived from the preconceived notions of others. The only one who knows the Sufi is the Sufi. Sufis liken these mistaken impressions to blind men describing an elephant by their tactile impressions. That said, if one is interested in the subject I would recommend beginning with the book <i>The Sufis</i> by Idris Shah.
Everyone must find their own path. For each the path is different and unique and none are easy. I wish you the best in your pursuit.
