Subtle subconscious past-life influences

[Petrichor]

There's probably a thread somewhere about something similar but I recently had an experience that was heart-breaking, in a way, even though it was something that seems rather harmless and innocent.

Ever since I remembered one of my past lives as a teen, I had been wanting to go to a place where I know I lived some of that past life. I swore that I wouldn't look at any pictures of that area because I wanted to be there to see it for the first time in this life. However, I'm still rather young and haven't had the financial means to travel there. At one point I gave up on the whole idea, because I got it in my head that I would have to get rid of the influence of my past, and decided that dwelling in a memory of a place that wouldn't be like I remember it anyway, wouldn't do me any good. (The sad thing is that I had one chance to go abroad when I graduated uni and had some of my student loan left but because of that stupid resolve I spent it on a trip elsewhere instead.)

Soo, after something triggered my past life memories again and I couldn't push them away any longer I sort of cracked and went to look at pictures of my old hometown, and was even able to find exactly where I had lived, on Google Maps. At first my attention was captured by what was and wasn't there before, but then...

I realized that ever since I had moved on my own in this life, I had subconsciously tried to recreate the living environment, from the location to the tiniest details that I loved from that old place, like windowsills.

Somehow it felt heart-breaking. That while I was consciously trying to turn away from the memory of that place, I was still subconsciously so tied to it that all of the places I lived in during my university years and after that as well, have resembled it in small but so deliberate ways, when I really looked at things, and whenever I've been asked where I would want to live or what kind of house I would built the resemblance was even more blatant.

So... I guess my point is that I'm glad I was reminded in such a gentle way that running away from unresolved past feelings just plain doesn't work.

 

[Ophelia3]

Hey!

Petrichor is a new word I learnt this year! Petrichor is one of, if not my favourite scents!!

Back on topic, if it is unresolved then no you can’t ran from it, like you learnt it’ll just be present in your life in either subtle or more obvious ways.

I wish I could recall more of my past lives, I can imagine a lot of myself is influenced by some, if not all of these.

Where was this past life? If you don’t mind me asking.

Ophelia Xx

 

[Petrichor]

Hey!

Petrichor is a new word I learnt this year! Petrichor is one of, if not my favourite scents!!

Back on topic, if it is unresolved then no you can’t ran from it, like you learnt it’ll just be present in your life in either subtle or more obvious ways.

I wish I could recall more of my past lives, I can imagine a lot of myself is influenced by some, if not all of these.

Where was this past life? If you don’t mind me asking.

Ophelia Xx

Petrichor is my favourite scent as well! It's a scent that sort of ties the past and the present together for me. It always makes me feel at home.

I wish I could recall more as well, I've been pretty fixated on mostly one for a long time, and even that one is really hazy, so hazy that I feel sort of inadequet to even talk about it at times, even though it's my own life. Turns out I'm really bad at remembering what exactly happened and when... I mostly remember random details, and emotions, and impressions of other people. I always feel like there's a reason I keep things locked away from myself.

I really appreciate your curiousity but I'm a bit shy about revealing details about my past lives, still. I don't know why but I keep being really paranoid and thinking what would happen if someone I know in this life were to discover I "think" I remember these things... they would think me crazy. I know that's so silly because why would anyone be so determined to dig up stuff about me... I don't have any real enemies in this life, that I know of. I probably just need time. -.-' (I suspect this irrational fear is also due to a past life experience.)

 

[Petrichor]

Petrichor, why is it heart-breaking, and why would you prefer to get rid of you past-life influences? Are reminders of that life too stressful? I'd be interested to hear more.

As for me, I have consciously tried to re-create small things from my past and incorporate them into the present, as that's what I find comforting, so can't really imagine what it must be like to want an escape from all that. But I guess if you have something unresolved, then it's probably better to tackle it head-on rather than hope to escape it. It's the only way to be at peace with it. Easier said than done, I know!

It's heart-breaking because that life didn't exactly go the way I had hoped and because I spent so much time convincing myself I was over it, even though this life is pretty much all ABOUT how I'm not over it. Yes, the reminders of that life tend to be stressful, because I mostly remember it when some triggering event happens. I've developed quite a few phobias and anxieties because of that life time. (Like being the center of attention, public speaking, the fear that teachers and employers are always looking for an excuse to fail or fire me, and also the fear that I will die young without being able to do anything about it, and I never get the chance to do most of the things I want.) But actually, those things I remembered about my home were mostly just good things, and it was heart-breaking in a bittersweet way, too. Because I miss the place, and the people.

Yes, I've been consciously incorporationg things from the past to the present also, but then, until now it always ends with me trying to get rid of all that stuff again. And then something happens that reminds me I really can't, because the past WILL follow me, regardless. I'm glad it was such a gentle reminder this time. Maybe I'm finally done running away.

 

[Ophelia3]

I really appreciate your curiousity but I'm a bit shy about revealing details about my past lives, still. I don't know why but I keep being really paranoid and thinking what would happen if someone I know in this life were to discover I "think" I remember these things... they would think me crazy. I know that's so silly because why would anyone be so determined to dig up stuff about me... I don't have any real enemies in this life, that I know of. I probably just need time. -.-' (I suspect this irrational fear is also due to a past life experience.)

I had the exact same thing when first disclosing my Amarna past life! In fact I experienced immense anxiety whenever I did disclose anything, or even consciously explored the idea of having a past life there, it took a long time to open up within myself and to others. I don’t know what the anxiety stemmed from, but as you can see I’m a lot more confident in talking about it, and exploring it. Time heals all, take your time, and sure enough you’ll be confident enough also, and in fact it’ll probably help you on your past life discovery, and make memories clearer!