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I was skeptical, but...

Hi there!
So, I would like to notice, that I used to be skeptical to the idea of reincarnation. I was raised in Atheist family, later I met some Fundamentalist Christians, but now I can say that I'm looking for some spirituality. I believe in God and Jesus as God, but I discovered that 99% of contemporary churches have very little common with Jesus's teachings.
But coming back to the main topic. I'm still confused because when I was 15, I used to meditate. One day during the meditation I saw something what could be my previous life. I was sure that I was there, in some Polish small town in the inter-war period (1918-1939). I saw myself as Jewish woman, living in simple wooden house in Pinsk, which is now in Belarus. My room hadn't a lot of things, only just for surviving and I saw myself switching on kerosene lamp, because in my home there was no electricity. I found my life poor but happy. I died somewhere in the 1930's, before the war.
Last time I suppose that I could be also Roma (Gypsy) woman or man. When I was little girl, I was fascinated by Roma people. I always dreamed about trips and longer travels. I love dogs and when I was younger I adopter a dog from the street. During my studies at the university I wrote some essays and works about the Roma people and I knew that for Roma people dogs were saint animals.
Some traits in my current life are similar to Roma and Jewish people in the history: I don't have full-time job and I often feel discriminated (as a queer woman, woman in general and disabled woman). Since my childhood I used to care a lot about people who were somewhat different than average. My best friends were and are mostly people with disabilities or foreigners.
I think also about something strange. My mum told me one day that she is afraid of female genital mutilation and always when she read about this practice she is scared. In our country there is no FGM and in our culture there is no this practice. But my mum told me that she sometimes feel that she lived in past in region where these things are done to the girls.
I don't know what to think about it.
 
I'm not sure.
But I did my own "homework" reading about Pinsk. It used to be Polish town before the 1945. When the borders changed, it became the part of the USSR and today it is Belarus. I looked at contemporary Pinsk and I felt disappointed, because it is totally different from the time I saw in my meditation when I was 15. Later I read that all Jews of Pinsk were killed by the Germans in the 1942. I died before the war, in the late 1930's. I think that I had a lot of happiness!
I found on the Internet some old photoes of this little town and my memories are more like this (the photo is from the 1912): https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pińsk#/media/File:pinsk,_Bernardynskaja._Пінск,_Бэрнардынская_(1912).jpg

I've just found the photo from the 1930's, where I saw home similar to this where I used to live. As I noticed, I lived with my family (husband who died early and five children) in poor conditions.
Today I also reminded some elements of that life, like candles in the Sabbath. Surely I used to be religious Jewish, but not fanatic.

About my "Gypsy life" I only suppose. I always had somewhat "Gypsy", or rather nomadic soul. When I was younger I tend to wear a lot of jewellery and foretell to other children, as some Roma women in the past. I'm sure it was much more earlier than this "Jewish period" ofy existence.

But I'm really suprised with my mother. She is type of the rationalist and I was shocked when she told that she is pretty sure that she lived in some country where girls are mutilated - and she is sure that she also was.
 
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Welcome! So interesting to read. You seem like a really good person. Wonderful too that you have your mother on your team about reincarnation. You could meditate to find out more? (There are meditations on you tube and also one can do it yourself). You already know you had 5 children and husband who died young; maybe ancestors are still around there or somewhere else? Perhaps you can get very useful information during meditation? I understand what it is like to stand with one foot in the "skeptical land" and the other in the "reincarnation land".
 
It was strange and I decided to meditate more.
Last night I thought more about it. And I had in my head: Somali.
Is it possible that we (me and my mother) lived sometime in the Horn of Africa?
When I was a child, I read book of Waris Dirie and that fascinated me. I also like Somali music, despite the fact that I'm not African or Muslim.
It would be really interesting triade of the excluded: African, Roma and Jewish. Can it explain why I was and am so compassionate to others who suffer from discrimination?
 
It was strange and I decided to meditate more.
Last night I thought more about it. And I had in my head: Somali.
Is it possible that we (me and my mother) lived sometime in the Horn of Africa?
When I was a child, I read book of Waris Dirie and that fascinated me. I also like Somali music, despite the fact that I'm not African or Muslim.
It would be really interesting triade of the excluded: African, Roma and Jewish. Can it explain why I was and am so compassionate to others who suffer from discrimination?
Yes I think it is possible. The way you empathize with excluded triade could be that you have been a victim of it yourself and/or others close to you.
 
And now I'm disabled and homosexual woman. Both (I suppose so) from my birth. I always felt different than other and I didn't understand why my female colleagues are so interested in boys. I even used to think that everyone has so little interest in them, before I came to the middle school. I was the first teenager who came out in my school. In some period of my life I used to think that it was stupid, but now I see it as very brave.
Today I see that I was also brave when I came home with this adopted dog - it was animal from the street, so it was even little crazy!
So we have excluded four. It's of course my own interpretation of that fact and I can be wrong, but it seems that my target is to empathize with all who are lonely, somewhat excluded, forgotten and are the object of the hate. For example, I've never understood, even when I was a child, why people have so much prejudice towards Jews or Roma people.
 
... it seems that my target is to empathize with all who are lonely, somewhat excluded, forgotten and are the object of the hate. For example, I've never understood, even when I was a child, why people have so much prejudice towards Jews or Roma people.

I believe (surely, it might not be so) that we create our own reality according to our beliefs (including our hidden / subconscious beliefs), and to our emotions. If so, it is likely that indulging in empathy leads to the perpetuation, even amplification, in our proximity of the need for more empathy (pain, misery, persecution, ...). I know, it seems impossible to love people and not to feel for their needs, to not severely judge those who deliberately create pain for others. Probably a solution is to concentrate on helping ... unconditionally, to aim for non-dual feelings and emotions.

From all the emotions I ever experienced, awake or in trance, the most awesome where two:
- a feeling of overwhelming happiness, and peace, during one of my first out-of-body experiences
- a feeling of being absolutely free, and free of fear, during a past life regression
 
Shortly, because I'm really busy last time:

I'm reading this article about NDE experience and my opinion will be ready soon.
Last time I had really difficult time in my family, someone very close to me died because the crime from his own wife.
That led me to discuss and reject traditional Christian beliefs: why good God can forgive murders, rapist or paedophile just because he or she convert to Jesus? And why punish people in eternal hell only because they are looking for their spirituality?

Baro-san, something is there. When I remember this vision, I felt really happy and peaceful. My life as simple Jewish woman was very poor, but I was happy, finding peace in my faith in YHWH.

Yesterday I talked about it my mum. She told me that in fact she always felt somewhat Jewish, because she questioned traditional Christian worldview since she was teenager. She always asked why one should believe in that or in another thing.
 
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