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Can a past life person/spirit force you back to the past or to his/her reality?

L

Li. La.

Guest
I understand if all of this sounds like pure nonsense, I mean- I know it is a really strange title above, but maybe someone out there knows what I am talking about?

In my recent dreams my pl husband has shown me images and is either communicating with me with thoughts or I can actually hear him but then it is in a completely different voice than human voice and it is forced (to the degree that it sounds angry even if he says nice things) and only few words come out. Because I am sleeping whilst this is going on and is just half there I am not on the alert, like I am actually helpless. I am just sort of floating around there unable to say or do anything.

In one of my recent dreams he thought to me that I was "light again". Then he showed me Laura, pl me. In the past - Laura feeling depressed at their home, at the ranch. Then he thought "need your light". Then he said, and his voice sort of woke me up a little bit but it was as if I was still heavily in sleep, but at least I think it got me to a different frequency of sleep "Come home". Then "you have to get sick again. Only for a little while". That was when fear was starting to make me more on the alert. I can't remember communicating back to him.

When I took my shower this morning I saw a shape of a kind of a bit strange bruise on my wrist, it kind of looks like I have been bitten by a child. You know, when children are around that age when they get all excited or too angry and they don't know what to do with themselves, so they bite. It looks like that, but I also try to tell myself it is coincidence. Before I have done things in order to get the spirits of the pl husband and pl child to go to the other side, this because they acted as ghosts. The activity stopped and I thought it was all over. They were were they were suppose to be.

But now, without me doing meditation or thinking about them or doing anything (besides sleeping - I mean, I have to sleep sooner or later) the activity is back again. Only now it is the sounds of a child playing, running for instance forth and back on the first floor whilst my daughter is on the second floor with me. I have only seen a shadow figure of a man standing close to me one time since I thought they were gone, and it was not aggressive or anything. But there are sounds here that I can't really explain that kicks off all of a sudden. Other people hear them too. It is not just me. Not my head playing tricks on me, creating the sounds which I have pretended it to be - but then other family members report it back, like "what was that?".

I wonder if the ghost of the pl husband believes he can sort of bring me back to that life? Or if he is even trying to make me "sick" as he said, perhaps even worse, in order for me to go with my so called "light" to his wife Laura, back to the past (but that can't be -right?) or perhaps to his view of reality?

Should I just regard all of this as nonsense? as just dreams? As just coincidences? I have kept ignoring it for some time now. I have thought to myself to please not start frightening myself with this, that it is all in my head. I should just not think about it. That it is just dreams.

Please, any advice or thoughts? (besides that I better soon visit a doctor and get my head examined...?)

/Li La
 
Hi Li.La
He has no power over you, remember that. It is on you to tell him to leave and let go. It sounds scary but I am quite sure that you need not be afraid - I´d be very much annoyed though! He might be stuck in this old reality of yours and by remembering you are kind of "calling old ghosts".
How are things by now? Hope it improves..
 
Hi Li.La
He has no power over you, remember that. It is on you to tell him to leave and let go. It sounds scary but I am quite sure that you need not be afraid - I´d be very much annoyed though! He might be stuck in this old reality of yours and by remembering you are kind of "calling old ghosts".
How are things by now? Hope it improves..
Hi Glia21! Thanks for caring :) I am working on it, what can I say? The activity (or what ever one should call it) has increased, but I'm not caving in.
 
Hi Li-la, I saw you read my thread and realise it’s interrelated to what you are experiencing here.

I’m not sure if it is possible to be sucked physically into the past, but certainly our energy can be trapped there, sapping our presence in this moment.

Have you tried conversing with the spirit? Is there anything you could do to resolve the feelings of the past? The only reason I can think this would be happening to you is because events were left unresolved. Is there a chance for present day resolution, even if the resolution is just to say goodbye? And I don’t mean simply saying ‘goodbye’, but perhaps a meaningful journey to connect that life to yours some way. I plan to make a trip to America/Vietnam to say goodbye to my past self and his life. I need that physical closure, even though it is not possible for me to journey there right now.
 
Hi Landsend!

I read your thread with much interest. Thanks for writing me :)
It sounds like a good idea to return to Vietnam. I understand when you write about ones soul being in a different place. From what I experience during pl regression meditation when Laura's husband returned from war (by ship) there was a form of celebration on the streets, but he was numbed, not quite there. Said it looked like a pretty picture. Think he thought the reality was still in his past, in the war.
I hope you can find peace.

I am no expert on the supernatural and have not done meditation for more than some months I think. There is this part of me that is skeptic to what I experience during meditation and in dreams, but another that believes or remembers.

Yes, I have tried talking to the pl husband, mostly under meditation and in between dream (sleep) and one timein reality. I think you are right, he is not finished with me, the question when - or if - will he be. Like you wrote I have really thought about what is unresolved. It is like he has given me different images and reasons to why he is still connected to me, is angry or protective, it shifts with him. Like just when I think one thing is settled, another one pops up. Right now I think one of his reasons is that he wants me to give him an answer. The thing is I can't give him an answer. Think it is about the boy. If he was the real dad or not. I have earlier asked for forgiveness for causing him pain and being skeptic about him not being the father, but I just don't remember. I don't know why. If I get this right he has said to me that I won't be forgiven. Think from his view and his old world's rules I was unfaithful during our marriage and could very well have secretly become pregnant, make him think the son was his.

I have a plan now to pray and ask for spirits to protect and guide them and me. On Thursday evening this week I will try to talk out loud to both the ghost-child and the pl husband in order to get them to the light, think I need help from the other side, prepared.

I also do this because I have started to think perhaps there is another spirit here as well, a female. I don't know who she is. She could be his first wife but that is just a wild guess. My friend who came over recently was the one who first saw her. Also my child has spoken of a ghost standing where she stood. Neither my friend or my child had talked about this with one another.

During recent meditation it is like I see these three spirits (the female, the pl husband and the pl child) but it is as if they are in their own worlds. It also feels as if the pl husband is looking for the pl son, that the pl son can move in a different reality than he can - that he can't actually see or sense him all the time. It is as if the pl husband can't see the female ghost either - but during my meditation I think she could see him. I just think it is really weird in all the weirdness. It is as if the female is waiting. I can't say if she is good or bad. One time I just saw her first stand there, as if she was frozen, then she started to move - and she moved right into the pl husband ghost and then continued a bit and then she was gone. And he was just standing there. Like he did not even notice that she walked right through him. Again, I can't say if this is my imagination playing tricks on me or the actual truth. My hope is that the female will go too if the pl husband goes, she seems focused on him.

Also I am waiting for protection and help from the spirit world because I 'm afraid I am attracting other spirits from around the area where I live. The other day when I was bicycling with my daughter to drop her off at some friend, where I usually don't move about, I, for some reason, noticed a place and then I bit later saw the name of the street which indicates the old word here in Sweden for hanging. I have seen someone hanging from that place. Again, I don't know if it is imagination. I don't know if it is old energy, being trapped in a loop, or if me meditating and trying to communicate with certain ghosts that these other energies or spirits that were hanged for instance will also find me.

Today I have searched on the Internet and read that the place I felt something from was one of the places where people got hanged as legal punishments. Also a bit further away to the other direction where we live was another place where they used to hang people which I had no idea off. I found that out today.

So there is basically two hanging-places and we live in the middle of it. The pl husband was found hanging (but he believes he was killed and knew who the killer was). So I'm a bit afraid that his energy - and being hanged - and others being hanged geographically close to where we live will attract that energy as well.

I am such an amateur about this. It's not that I don't want to help potential lost spirits that were hanged back then, but I mean I can't cope with the pl husband alone at this point, then I have a small pl-child to consider that is very close to my heart and then the female-ghost on top of that.

The pl child seem at this point to be doing Ok. At least that is what I perhaps like to think. I have not heard any cry or yell at least. I have bumped into him whilst I was working in the kitchen. He seem to like to stand close when I cook or do dishes. It is as if I am accidentally bumping into a real person, a wall, but I don't see anything. I see shadows move about frequently. The only thing my husband seem to notice in all this are the sudden temperature drops and that it is always so cold, even for him (and he is warm blooded). I have tried to get in contact with the pl-child, but so far not successful. Tried to make it into a game. I think I am prepared on the different steps I will take in order to get to the pl child ghost, but I don't want anything to go wrong. This child died only a few years of age and I think he is still around that age, he hasn't grown up.


Thanks again for writing me :)
 
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Hi Li La,

It seems increasingly clear to me that you are a "sensitive" or in more commonly used terminology, a psychic. I'm leery of using the term "medium", but I believe you are not only gifted in that respect, but are increasingly being plagued by your gift. From what I have read one place or another, this is because you do not know how to control your gift and deal with what it is bringing to you. From that standpoint, you are probably dealing with areas and phenomena that are well beyond the expertise of anyone on this board. To put it bluntly, we are like a bunch of amateurs trying to figure out how to deal with someone who is starting to go into labor. What you really need is a "midwife" who can either show you how to do what needs to be done to release and control your gifts (or possibly show you how to shut them down and go back to where you were).

You may know somewhere to go for this. The only thing I could think of was to guide you to a website for a group in the UK that is Christian, but attuned to psychic and spiritual matters. It is named the "Churches Fellowship for Psychic and Spiritual Studies" and has a website here: http://www.churchesfellowship.co.uk/index.html

There is some very good free material on the website, mainly in the form of free brochures on various matters here: http://www.churchesfellowship.co.uk/downloads.html The brochures that immediately struck my eye in terms of your situation are 1, 3, 4, and 5. The brochures--since they are meant to be printed and folded to read are a bit kooky in arrangement. First, read the column that has the groups name at the top. Then go to the left column on the other page, next middle, next right column on that page. After you finish that page, go to the left column on the page that you started on and read that and the middle column to finish. (It's a bit confusing at first, but you can get used to it).

These folks have been involved in dealing with this dimension of life since the 50s, and seem to know what they are up to. It may even be possible that if you contacted them, they could put you in touch with some trustworthy group in your own locale. (There is even some contact information for help when dealing with various matters in #3, though it is all related to folks in the UK).

I do not know whether your sensitivity to psychic/spirit phenomena has always been so strong in your life, or if you have activated it somehow--perhaps by finally paying attention to thoughts, dreams, etc. that have been coming to you that led you to start down a pathway of discovery in regard to past lives. However, it seems to be increasingly opening you up to all kinds of other psychic phenomena and presences. Since it doesn't seem likely to end on its own, I think you're going to have to seek some knowledgeable help in order to either shut it down or learn how to live with it.

I hope this helps. It was the best I could think of.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--The positive side is that this type of awakening may be something that you will later be glad to have in your life. Some seem to, and find new avenues for growth and helping others. At least, that is what I am hoping for in your case.;)
 
I always said that being able to communicate with spirits is a curse, or atleast not the gift most (and usually fake) psychics claim it to be
But keep in mind that this "gift" isn't as special as some claim it to be since every animal (pay attention to cats and dogs) and child (imaginary friends ring a bell?) can see spirits
It's the adults that tell you that you have an over imaginative imagination, lying or any other excuse in and out of the book to talk you into pushing the ability away (this is called blocking) and you just stop talking about it because people won't believe you, mocking you and so on

I currently have a quite full attic with 2 downed bomber crews and some 6 killed Canadian Soldiers and the regular 'crew' dropping in every now and then, I've gotten used to it

Why do I consider it a curse? Because it's hard to block spirits, they drain energy and it gets annoying if I don't know if someone's actually alive or not (I've had quite a few conversations where it would appear I was ready for the padded room where I seemed to be talking to myself)
Also the first indicator that I have a visitor, especially one that I don't initially recognize, is that I take over their emotions which go from sad, anger and anything in between
This resulted in a complete breakdown in France when I was forced to visit a cemetery and couldn't handle the emotions unleashed there, many of my former unit are buried there

Trying to figure out the intentions of the visitors is often difficult, especially with those that are still clinging to their past
 
Hi CanSol,

That is the way it has always seemed to me. That is why I mentioned the possibility (if it is a possibility) of shutting it down. However, I have heard of people that seem to be able to maintain balance and keep from being overwhelmed. Sometimes I wonder if some sensitives are magnets for lost souls and other not so much. That may be the principle difference between the overwhelmed and the not overwhelmed.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--BTW--you definitely sound like the "magnet" type.o_O
 
Hi Li La,

It seems increasingly clear to me that you are a "sensitive" or in more commonly used terminology, a psychic. I'm leery of using the term "medium", but I believe you are not only gifted in that respect, but are increasingly being plagued by your gift. From what I have read one place or another, this is because you do not know how to control your gift and deal with what it is bringing to you. From that standpoint, you are probably dealing with areas and phenomena that are well beyond the expertise of anyone on this board. To put it bluntly, we are like a bunch of amateurs trying to figure out how to deal with someone who is starting to go into labor. What you really need is a "midwife" who can either show you how to do what needs to be done to release and control your gifts (or possibly show you how to shut them down and go back to where you were).

You may know somewhere to go for this. The only thing I could think of was to guide you to a website for a group in the UK that is Christian, but attuned to psychic and spiritual matters. It is named the "Churches Fellowship for Psychic and Spiritual Studies" and has a website here: http://www.churchesfellowship.co.uk/index.html

There is some very good free material on the website, mainly in the form of free brochures on various matters here: http://www.churchesfellowship.co.uk/downloads.html The brochures that immediately struck my eye in terms of your situation are 1, 3, 4, and 5. The brochures--since they are meant to be printed and folded to read are a bit kooky in arrangement. First, read the column that has the groups name at the top. Then go to the left column on the other page, next middle, next right column on that page. After you finish that page, go to the left column on the page that you started on and read that and the middle column to finish. (It's a bit confusing at first, but you can get used to it).

These folks have been involved in dealing with this dimension of life since the 50s, and seem to know what they are up to. It may even be possible that if you contacted them, they could put you in touch with some trustworthy group in your own locale. (There is even some contact information for help when dealing with various matters in #3, though it is all related to folks in the UK).

I do not know whether your sensitivity to psychic/spirit phenomena has always been so strong in your life, or if you have activated it somehow--perhaps by finally paying attention to thoughts, dreams, etc. that have been coming to you that led you to start down a pathway of discovery in regard to past lives. However, it seems to be increasingly opening you up to all kinds of other psychic phenomena and presences. Since it doesn't seem likely to end on its own, I think you're going to have to seek some knowledgeable help in order to either shut it down or learn how to live with it.

I hope this helps. It was the best I could think of.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--The positive side is that this type of awakening may be something that you will later be glad to have in your life. Some seem to, and find new avenues for growth and helping others. At least, that is what I am hoping for in your case.;)
Hi S&S! Thank you very much for the support and the info you gave on Churches Fellowship for Psychic and Spiritual Studies, that was very kind of you. I have now looked into it and think it could be helpful.

I just don't know what to say; in my past people used to say I was emphatic and "delicate, fragile, but in a good way". One person told me "you need to shut down" because my emphatic side would make it so the other person's emotions dominated. I am one of those people who can't stand seeing boxing matches whilst others sit there and are not at all effected by it as I am.

Only couple of times before have I had supernatural things happening to me, but enough to make me realize we just don't live and die once, that there is so much more out there we don't know. I've had relatives that I never knew (they died before I was born) on both my mother's and father's side of the family that were believed to be gifted but then again my parents never really wanted to talk about it, they were not into that sort of thing. It was no use me telling them I had heard or seen ghosts etc and when opening up about me remembering things from a life as "Anna". It just became my secret. I was frighten when they discussed getting me to a shrink (could be because Anna had been locked up in a mental institute...). There has been times when I have experienced being Anna that I saw that she saw people in colors, that is a form of spectrum around, above them. This became clear to me when there was this young man that a lot of people disliked for this or that reason but Anna could not understand due to his coloring, lightening around and within him. She knew he was a good person. But all the other's saw was the superficial things that mattered to them but it did not matter to him (physical appearance etc), and not to Anna either. Also a lot of times when I have been Anna I feel as if I am without skin. At the time when this happened I don't think Anna was taking her addictive pills.

I think it has been me using meditation perhaps too intensely over a period of time that has sort of changed things for me, but of course I still don't know if what I see are real or not. I have read that ghosts that are earthbound usually do have loved ones that has crossed over and who are trying to get them over but they can't do it alone. They need a living person to help them with this mission. I am one of the easiest persons in the world to get frighten so I have really prayed for "back up" at this point when I am gonna try to do this tomorrow. But I am also almost too protective of the ones I love and when that happens I do have a temper that surprises most.

Thanks again! :)
Best Wishes
Li La
 
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I always said that being able to communicate with spirits is a curse, or atleast not the gift most (and usually fake) psychics claim it to be
But keep in mind that this "gift" isn't as special as some claim it to be since every animal (pay attention to cats and dogs) and child (imaginary friends ring a bell?) can see spirits
It's the adults that tell you that you have an over imaginative imagination, lying or any other excuse in and out of the book to talk you into pushing the ability away (this is called blocking) and you just stop talking about it because people won't believe you, mocking you and so on

I currently have a quite full attic with 2 downed bomber crews and some 6 killed Canadian Soldiers and the regular 'crew' dropping in every now and then, I've gotten used to it

Why do I consider it a curse? Because it's hard to block spirits, they drain energy and it gets annoying if I don't know if someone's actually alive or not (I've had quite a few conversations where it would appear I was ready for the padded room where I seemed to be talking to myself)
Also the first indicator that I have a visitor, especially one that I don't initially recognize, is that I take over their emotions which go from sad, anger and anything in between
This resulted in a complete breakdown in France when I was forced to visit a cemetery and couldn't handle the emotions unleashed there, many of my former unit are buried there

Trying to figure out the intentions of the visitors is often difficult, especially with those that are still clinging to their past
Hi, it sounds like you have a full house. It must have been real frightening with your experience at the cemetery, I hope you had some support whilst going through it.
I agree with a lot you have written, also that so many people get shut down early. I do hope there is something good that can come out seeing ghosts though and that those who are truly gifted can use it for good. The earthbound should not be here. from what I have read recently they need the living's help + the other spirits they are connected to in order to let go, but perhaps some are just impossible anyhow, still one wants hope that at one moment they will go to the light or maybe I am just naive. I have noticed both in my daughter and husband behavior a certain affect from the pl husband spirit. My husband seem at times more easily irritated and a bit harsh, a bit bitter, and is more strict - but then it goes away. It is no use talking to him about it but I can't help but suspect it is the pl husband's traits that is effecting him without him realizing it. Also my daughter just recently said as she wanted to write a story that "Oh, I know what to call it - the house of death!". "The house of death" was exactly what pl me (Laura) called her husband's ranch home. It could be coincidences, and other thing has happened as well, but I can't help but wonder anyhow if it isn't what you say. Like you say I have discovered with the pl husband ghost that it is like he is changing his reasons why he is still around, once I think it has been resolved something else comes up. If people who are really heavily sensitive and can't turn it off it must be very difficult.
Anyway, thanks for writing :)
 
Hi CanSol,

That is the way it has always seemed to me. That is why I mentioned the possibility (if it is a possibility) of shutting it down. However, I have heard of people that seem to be able to maintain balance and keep from being overwhelmed. Sometimes I wonder if some sensitives are magnets for lost souls and other not so much. That may be the principle difference between the overwhelmed and the not overwhelmed.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--BTW--you definitely sound like the "magnet" type.o_O

From my own experience, once that spiritual door is open, it can be somewhat difficult to totally close it, although it is definitely possible. You can sort of fine tune to suit your needs if you know your own abilities well enough.

I got way overwhelmed/somewhat harassed by spirits, and anymore I can really only see them. I wouldn't really call that balance (it works for me), but it's not anything like it used to be at least.
 
Some earthbound spirits are still around for other reasons than them not being able to let go
Some are guides, others are protectors and a group won't leave till you do (they have taken it upon themselves to attach to you/your house and become guardians)
I know spirits in all 4 categories, the guides, protectors and the ones that won't leave are attached to you and when you cross over so will they as their job is done, if they're attached to the house it becomes a bit more tricky but not impossible to take them along
 
Hi Li La,

You may also want to look into the possibility of a local Spiritist group. Spiritualism (in Anglo American territories) and Spiritism (European and South American) got their starts in the 19th century and were very popular through the earliest part of the 20th. Spiritualism has been in decline, but Spiritism continued to grow in South America and I believe it is having an upswing in Europe and elsewhere. The two are very similar, except that Spiritism believed in reincarnation and has a single founder (Pen name = Kardec), while Spiritualism didn't historically believe in reincarnation (though I think that is changing) and was a more diffuse movement. Also, Spiritualism had/has its own churches, while Spiritism has mostly seemed to operate through groups and associations. There are also individuals and small groups who specialize in communicating with haunting spirits, finding out why they are there and one way or another expediting their exit.

I first mentioned the Fellowship above, because I thought it looked very down-to-earth and likely to be sensible and honest in its practices. (Plus, I was reassured by the religious element--that is part of who I am and I make no apologies). Spiritualist Churches and Spiritist groups may also offer trustworthiness in a lot of areas where you need help, I just don't know enough about them to offer an opinion. And, the same may true of some small groupings or individuals. The problem is that this whole area has been rife with fakes and frauds. Exposure of fakes and frauds was one of the things that led to the decline of Spiritualism in the U.S. and probably elsewhere. So, though you certainly seem to need some expertise at the moment--be very cautious and on the look-out for frauds, fakes and con artists. People do sometimes need to be paid something for their services, but if money is part of the equation be very cautious, and if it is more than would be necessary to pay for someone's expenses I wouldn't bother (though that is up to you).

Cordially,
S&S

PS--You may wish to read the articles on Spiritualism and Spiritism in Wikipedia. They are fairly extensive with lots of linked articles.

PPS--I'm interested in the fact that Anna could see the human auras while you (I think) cannot. Do you have any ideas why that might be true?
 
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Hi Li La,

You may also want to look into the possibility of a local Spiritist group. Spiritualism (in Anglo American territories) and Spiritism (European and South American) got their starts in the 19th century and were very popular through the earliest part of the 20th. Spiritualism has been in decline, but Spiritism continued to grow in South America and I believe it is having an upswing in Europe and elsewhere. The two are very similar, except that Spiritism believed in reincarnation and has a single founder (Pen name = Kardec), while Spiritualism didn't historically believe in reincarnation (though I think that is changing) and was a more diffuse movement. Also, Spiritualism had/has its own churches, while Spiritism has mostly seemed to operate through groups and associations. There are also individuals and small groups who specialize in communicating with haunting spirits, finding out why they are there and one way or another expediting their exit.

I first mentioned the Fellowship above, because I thought it looked very down-to-earth and likely to be sensible and honest in its practices. (Plus, I was reassured by the religious element--that is part of who I am and I make no apologies). Spiritualist Churches and Spiritist groups may also offer trustworthiness in a lot of areas where you need help, I just don't know enough about them to offer an opinion. And, the same may true of some small groupings or individuals. The problem is that this whole area has been rife with fakes and frauds. Exposure of fakes and frauds was one of the things that led to the decline of Spiritualism in the U.S. and probably elsewhere. So, though you certainly seem to need some expertise at the moment--be very cautious and on the look-out for frauds, fakes and con artists. People do sometimes need to be paid something for their services, but if money is part of the equation be very cautious, and if it is more than would be necessary to pay for someone's expenses I wouldn't bother (though that is up to you).

Cordially,
S&S

PS--You may wish to read the articles on Spiritualism and Spiritism in Wikipedia. They are fairly extensive with lots of linked articles.

PPS--I'm interested in the fact that Anna could see the human auras while you (I think) cannot. Do you have any ideas why that might be true?
Thanks again, I will do that :). It is true I don't see auras (the right word for it, thanks). It kind of surprised me when I experienced that I did as Anna but then again not because then I was Anna and was like - well, used to it. One theory I have is that it came from the war when the brain was under much pressure and Anna had to figure out who was good and who was in the middle and who was not in a split second almost. Since she was growing up during the war she might have been more open to see auras. From my experience she saw it at times both when she was a child and as a young adult (before the pill abuse).

When I did my first attempt of a seance last night I have no idea if it worked or not. Before I had thought all kinds of things could happen. The days before that I could feel a form of bitterness who I think came from the pl husband and a form of density, like things got heavy, strict.

Just before I started I thought to myself should I really do this? Like I was really hesitating? Should I perhaps wait til my husband is home also? Yes, maybe - maybe better if I wait a bit. Then there was a bang from the bathroom behind me. I looked in - no nothing had had changed in there that I could see. So I thought - I should do this now.

So I had taken my grandmother's old bible which I honestly had not looked into before (my relatives always asked why I wanted all her bibles, she had several of them and they look very, very old - like she must have inherit or gotten them from someone else. With my past lives I now understand why I was so adamant to keep them with me)

I lid a candle and first just sat there in the silence. Then I started to read out loud a pray that I have found that people do before seance. When I went silent after I heard footsteps from the hallway which then stopped when approaching the living room. I could not see anything. No shadows, no nothing. Could not feel anything. Felt completely blocked like there was an invisible stone wall around me.

My attempt was to direct and be really stubborn - like a nagging mom basically (which I am already so it's a piece of cake ;) and talk directly to the pl-son-ghost. This because I have felt that from the times Laura came from it was the man first, then the woman, then the child to be addressed. I have also had a vision where I once saw the child when I closed my eyes, it happened so quickly, but then the pl husband just jumped right in there, in front of him. I don't know if he was protecting him or trying to block me from communicating to him.

So I kept talking, talking as if I was talking to a young child. One of the things I explained was remembering being a child (and this is true, no fabrication) that died in bed after having been coughing a lot. That one parent was still alive. And one dead. That I did not understand why my parent was crying because to me I had finally gotten well. And I was right there! But the parent was crying over my body. Then as time went by I realized that the parent did not hear or could see me. The other parent that had died had come and tried to take me along but I did not want to leave my living parent all alone and sad. I knew what was familiar - our home - and my parent. But I could still visit but then I should have someone with me and not run off on my own.

I explained over and over again about the light and the tunnel and when you go through it it is like a door and then you come home. You are home again. That sometimes you go out to play but then you have to come home. You must come home to eat. To sleep.

I was also talking to the adult-ghosts, the pl husband.

After more than an hour of this it was still as if nothing was happening, like I was just talking out loud to myself and I felt totally blocked. Did not feel any interaction with me what so ever.

I had asked someone who loved and knew the pl-son (not the pl husband in mind...) to take the pl son home (to heaven).

It really was as if there was no connection what so ever. I was surprised. Having all these things happening before and now - nada. The only thing happening was the light going from instant flames - really wild - to go down completely still. It was protected so I don't think any draft could have done it.

Since I haven't felt or seen anything basically. I don't know if I have been shut down or what has happened.

Anyway, just wanted to report a bit :)

Best Wishes
Li La
 
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Hi Li La,

I had a bad experience trying a seance with some friends when I was a teenager back in the 60s. My impression of that type of thing is pretty much the same as my impression of using Quija Boards--in most cases an open line to the unknown has been set up, and you never know who or what is going to come through. And sometimes the results, at least anecdotally, have been horrible. That's why I was suggesting a sensitive or psychic who could sense (and sometimes see) the troubled spirit and communicate to resolve the problem. (I'm the kind of chicken-heart who would not try that kind of thing on my own anymore than I would try to do my own electrical wiring:eek:). However, you seem to not only have some natural gifts in this area, but to have handled it very well. I'm optimistic, but only time will tell. I would keep praying, read appropriate parts of the Bible you got from your grandmother, and keep your mind on and attentive to the "highest" (I would be more direct in naming the "highest" but I'm trying not to violate Board rules).

Cordially,
S&S
 
Hi S & S!

I think you gave good, wise advice and I was probably just protected and lucky at the time of the first attempted seance.

Pretty soon after the seance caught the same (darn) flu symptoms I have already had just some time ago. (I'm usually never sick). So when sleeping with fever an image came out of nowhere. I saw it through the pl husband's eyes.

What I saw I have a difficult time to believe was once real, but I still felt I needed to try to do research about it as much as I could/can. There is this part of me that is really thinking that it just can't be true, it can't possibly be more to this twisted tragic pl story than it already is. It is like some terrible soap opera that never ends.

Anyhow, the scene - was that pl husband was on lowered ground than the other soldiers that had rushed out on battle field and were shooting at the enemies. It was as if the pl husband stood on safe (?) ground, not being one of the soldiers out there, but behind just watching it (from one record I have found he was of "higher ranking"?). Only the pl husband - in all that noise and from what I could see no one there to see him standing beside him or behind him - then shoot with a form of rifle, gun down one of his own soldiers from behind.

The soldier turns around. The face of the soldier was the soldier that Laura was in love with after her husband had walked out on her.

From the image shown the soldier (short name was Joe) was then shot again and it seems as if the pl husband aimed for the chest, the heart area as Joe had turned around. It was as if the pl husband reckon on him turning around, to the direction to where he was shot - only to shot him again. There was no mercy.

There was this bewildered, caught off guard look in Joe's eyes, as he must have been focused on the enemies and being shot up front, not in the back and by the man who did it.

I know this sounds too much. I am skeptical due to a lot of things:
1.) What was the possibility that they were collected like that - the pl husband and Joe?
2.) Someone must have seen the pl husband do this, but from where the pl husband stood it seems no one else was there at the moment
3) I had a fever, I was dreaming, probably just imaging this.

It could also be me being in denial right now. It just puts everything in a different light if the scene was once real.

I have before this only seen an old brownish photograph of Joe, but was set after this image has been playing in my head about his actual death to try to find out more about him and hopefully see another picture.

I was/am trying to see if the two men were really at the same place when Joe was killed.

From my memories and research the three of them; the pl husband, Laura and Joe was first stationed in Egypt.

In Joe's record I could see what I had remembered earlier. That he got injured one time before (which landed him in the care of Laura - that was how they met). I found records of this that at the time he was ranked as a "driver" and got injured and taken in by the "Red Cross".

Later, when recovering, he was sent out to war again, this time ranked as a "Rifleman" and that was when he died. On another site it says "Private".

All records show is "killed in action" so I can't read where the bullets injured and killed his body. Joe stood as single at the time of him being enlisted.

So then I found another page with a close up picture of Joe's face, than the one I had seen earlier, it is of good quality and big. And I can hardly believe I am writing this but Joe kind of looks like my husband...(and I know how that sounds...). I am not claiming it was him, yet there is this part of me that wonders. They have 2 personality traits in common that I remember that is (not that I have read about); both being strict at times and having a great sense of humor.

One time my husband was told he had been a soldier in a past life by an unknown lady who claimed to be a medium, but since he didn't believe, he just shrugged it off.

It could also just be that my husband is simply my type and Joe's looks echoed that. I am surprised myself that I did not recognize before the physical similarities as well as some personality traits between Joe and my husband.

Last night I woke up about 4 am hearing steps on the bedroom floor (but not seeing someone walking) like someone was walking around the bed to my side, a grown person, different sound from when I heard the child walk or run. I've felt a burn around my left arm as if someone is holding there for a while and then let go, but is not pulling me. This has now happened several times. Always the same arm. There aren't any signs, not being red there. When it first happened at 4 am I was like "Jesus, what's happening?".

One of the most intense memories I have of the pl husband during a increasing argument/fight was that he had grabbed her arm right there and held on whilst talking to her, looking at her from the side as she looked either down or right ahead of her and or facing him. I could tell she was both upset, angry and so afraid of him, all mixed in, feeling really cornered, hoping it would not get worse, yet she stood still so he wasn't pulling her and she wasn't trying to get away. It was as if she was a bit paralyzed.

So either I imagined what happened at night or the pl husband ghost is back, and perhaps never left. I will keep on praying (perhaps the pl husband was part of the reason why pl me as Anna in the 1950's prayed on a daily basis?).

If the pl husband really killed Joe and the way he did it - it is ...God, it is too much. And then for him to be murdered as well but by another (yet I am not that surprised considering how he carried on, he could really, if he felt like it, humiliate people )...I just hope my mind is just playing tricks on me, that is all I can say.

I know one sweet moment (that I got long ago during pl regression meditation) with Joe that he was already calling her Mrs and his own (special spelled) last name. I remember one other scene when it became clear to me that they had an intimate relationship which could have resulted in a baby.

When now Joe died and if Laura was pregnant with his baby...it would be in the best interest social speaking ,I suppose, if Laura was married when expecting and giving birth...If Laura hid this from her husband and made him think the baby was his.. then I feel really ashamed, but I could see why she did it. To protect the baby's reputation and her own. Did not risk telling her husband the truth. Making him believe the baby was his...that is just horrible. Make him love and later mourn this son, making him think it is his own flesh and blood...Not giving him a choice to say yes or no to this...I mean, what kind of person was I? Regardless of what there is just no way that Laura would have returned or stayed with her husband knowing that he had killed Joe.

All I can remember is that she thought of them trying again as a new start, and to try to leave the past behind. The pl husband was marked after the war and so was she in a way and also in secret mourning Joe. Yet I could feel her optimistic about the future (perhaps because she was expecting a baby)?

I don't know if shame can make one block out past life memories?

Anyway, enough about this.

It is really therapeutic though to write about this. Hope it is not a bore and you and people here don't think I have completely lost it...

Thank you :) for taking the time to read it.

Best Wishes
Li La
 
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Hi Li La,

None of the things you mention are impossible, and there are certainly stories of love triangles as tangled and tragic as this. But if true, it certainly makes for a complex knot to untie in this current life. From what you have said, there are additional levels of guilt and needs for forgiveness here.

You also wonder whether it is possible that Joe was killed by his own commanding officer? Yes, it is. Soldiers have also been known to kill their own commanding officers. So, this is not an isolated instance, and it can happen both ways. In the chaos of war and battle these things can sometimes happen without anyone knowing they take place. After all, bullets and shrapnel are flying from both sides, and it may often be believed that the deceased was killed by the enemy and not by his own.

So, it appears that your PL husband may need your forgiveness for what he did to Joe as well. Farther than that, I could not say. The situation may be extremely disturbing to him (if your present husband was "Joe"), or it may be that he also wants to express contrition and seek forgiveness from Joe as well.

You seem to be doing well with untangling this web, but after you have peeled off one layer it seems that it is only to reveal another layer beneath. I hope this is the last, but there may be more. Is it possible that the person who you think may have killed your PL husband was also involved in this at some level? Do you have any idea whether he was also part of your PL husband's command or may have had reason to know of Joe's murder? I have heard that units in the British army were usually formed from people from the same community (unlike in the U.S.). If so, it is possible that all of these people knew each other.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I hope your illness abates. I have to wonder whether it is one of the illnesses that are claimed to beset those where (as some put it) the Kundalini is rising. Given the meditation you have been involved in, your own ability to see auras in a PL, and your seeming mediumistic abilities, I can see how that might be true. If so, you may need to also seek some way to moderate this process and slow it down to something manageable. It is said to be very disruptive if not dangerous and to require guidance from someone who is knowledgeable about the process if it is to occur safely. Once again, this is something well beyond my personal knowledge, I'm just repeating things written by others.

PPS--On the other hand, your illness may indicate some underlying physical problem. So, that should also be checked.
 
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Hi S & S!

Thank you for the tragic info about the horrible killings like the one I experienced could actually happen. I have kind of digested it a bit better now.

I have tried to figure out if Joe and the husband worked and/or knew of each other before.

Before in pl regression meditation there was some exchange with letters that I at the time did not really understand the bigger picture of. Now I think I was trying to fool my husband that I was still back home. So I would send home letters from Egypt to New Zealand and someone in New Zealand that I trusted would then post the letter back to where my husband was with stamps and everything looking like it came from New Zealand to start with. So with that background it could be that when he came to the hospital that one time that it wasn't for me that he came - it was to see "his" injured soldiers after a battle. And there I was. That we had earlier had this disagreement and now things just boiled over for him.

I remember bits of the fights with the husband when I told him that what did he expect me to do? Swim back home? That he wasn't being rational about this. We were all sort of collected and could go on ships but the ship had be there in the first place to take us back.

I remember Laura working in tent and in hospital. That Joe was in a hospital, in bed, one of many in what kind of looks like a hall. That when the argument/fight was between Laura and her husband it was at a hospital. That the husband disapproved of his wife working like that; that he did not think it was right that she would wash and care for the men, whilst I felt he was embarrassing me and questioning my and also the soldier's characters.It felt as if the husband was already at that stage patronizing and being strangely jealous. I don't know if it was something he saw or just thought of the situation that made him that way. He was very strict, also as if he was in character of being an officer; the other people being around - soldiers and nurses perhaps helped unintentionally to encourage that attitude from him - against me. From my understanding I was young when I was there and in some form of training/educating myself and he was still older, of course, and was socially in a higher ranking.

I referred to Joe as a friend at my first memories of him during pl regression meditation. It was only later when I realized our relationship had developed into romance but I was very very sure that happened some time after my husband had left me.

I know Joe knew of the husband's existence just because he would try to cheer me up (whilst he was the one injured and in pain) whilst I felt I was anxious and heartbroken after my fight with the husband, that he knew why I was feeling this way. When the scene happened with the husband it felt as if the entire hospital knew of it or that rumor would travel fast.

When I have communicated now in the after life with the husband I realize we really have two different perspective on a lot of things that happened. If I am right this is his view of the matter: He did not leave me. That is something important that he keeps telling me. Even if he physically walked out on me that day at the hospital in anger (whilst I was begging "Please...!" running after like a puppy) he still stresses that he did not leave me.

That he was trying to sort things out with me afterwards and from his point Joe took advantage of the fragile situation and began his "illegitimate affair" with me. One word I did not at first understand when it came from the husband was the word "Cheeky". "I have a cheeky wife". Then he said "playful", "young", "play with fire". He showed his hand swiping one time up and down Laura's cheek, communicating silently word "Pretty". I am kind of insulted that he thought I was there to flirt with the soldiers. All memories I have from the war was trying to help and they were in pain and there was nothing flirtatious going on. Also it is not in my character, not then and not now, to have simultaneously romances going on, to be unfaithful.

I have gotten all kinds of inputs that explains the situation like this: My husband knew of "the affair" but from his view Joe was the enemy, the one to have put a knife in his back first so now he returned the favor by shooting him in the back (at first), killing him. That the husband had seen red for some time before this.

I think there was something in Joe's last letter (that Laura had saved in secret and that her husband and her fought about years later) to make the husband think his dead son had never been his biologically, but Joe's.

I have honestly tried to remember if I knew I was pregnant with Joe's baby or not but it is still in the dark.

Perhaps back then they did not have the tests we have these days and only time could tell?

Also Laura was in a stressful situation which could have effected the usual period-clock in some way.

Also I don't know the time period between several of the events that I remember. In the past Laura had given birth to the little girl premature. It could be that that was the thought when the baby boy arrived sooner than expected (when it was in fact Joe's baby?). I just don't know.

It could be like you wrote that the friend who killed the husband years later could have known Joe, but it is not something I have gotten access to so far at least. It could be that the friend put two and two together and when seeing the red rope marks on Laura's wrists and dealing with her unpleasant husband that he just had enough and decided to finish him off? I had the feeling when being Laura that the communities were really strong - everyone basically knew everyone.

I have recently tried to communicate to the past life husband that we are all part of the same soul group. We live and die and then we live again, but all of us don't know this or believe in this. My husband in this current life is one of them. What ever has gone wrong between my pl husband and pl Joe can't be sorted out now. (I have asked my husband to do a past life regression meditation but he refuses and just laughs at me. I have not told him whom I think he could have been before because I don't want to influence him). I have tried to tell the pl husband that we are not finished with us growing spiritually. That we will make mistakes. That the next time around we will hopefully have learned from that mistake and perhaps not even recognize our old self. That he should go to the light and not think about all of this sadness anymore. That he has forgiveness. That he has understanding. That the same is for pl Joe. That the same is for me. That I am sorry for my part in this.

I have felt drained and now I am feeling better. Before, years before this, when I lost a loved one I would develop fever now and then, that was my only symptom and it could be like you said when things has now changed for me. I am learning to cope with it. I have had recently perhaps 2 cases of unknown spirits sending me image and short film, kind off, of being attached to two different places. It felt as if one of them was there out of quilt and fear. The other out of fear and bitterness. This is new to me and I was very surprised when this happened. I have tried to communicate to them. One has stopped sending me the image and I think he chose to walk into the light, there was someone else there too waiting for him to let go (I think it was his child or someone he knew as a child because I could see him again and again standing around the same area but a bit far off but looking at the man, he had lighter energy than the man. He could tell that the man wasn't really bad). The other one I am not at all sure about. It is a woman in a backyard long ago, in an old dress of her day, much emotions: fear and stone like bitterness. Something happened at that area that is very much concerning her. When I got her - I saw her looking right at me and then it was followed by her emotions so I did not see things from her eyes. It was really powerful, I don't think I even breath when I had this sight. To have that image, and short film played up like that all of a sudden. I had not expected either of these to make contact with me, if that is now what they were doing. I suppose with time I will learn more and to deal with it better if what is happening is now real, that is.

Anyhow, so now my fever is gone and my cough is better.

Thanks so much for your concern & help again :)

Best Wishes
Li La
 
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Hi Li La,

I don't think it is necessary or even desirable for most people to be aware of their PLs. For most people I have met on this board, memory of their PLs is a burden more than a help, and they are here to share and try to get some help and advice on how to better carry their burden. From what I have seen, there are very few who are ready to know and do know and remember without it being traumatic and burdensome to them. So, I wouldn't worry about your current husband. It is up to you, of course, but it seems to me that dredging up his past lifetime with you (and his terrible death) will merely bring painful memories into his life that he will need to cope with.

So far, you seem to have done a very good job in terms of coping with your own PL traumas and learning to live beyond them. You also seem to be making great progress with the traumatized and earth bound spirits you have dealt with, including your PL husband. As I have said before, you are way beyond my competence level in such areas. (Actually, I have no competence or abilities at all in such areas!;)). However, just as people come here to share and learn, I think you will probably need to keep learning and seeking additional knowledge of these things from people who know more about them than anyone on this board. Please tread cautiously!

I have connected a small chart of female archetypes that I found interesting. This is not the only one out there, and they can differ, but for some reason I found this one to my liking. In any case, I find that things like this help me to understand my own psyche and how it is put together, as well as to understand other people, as I sometimes seek to see how much of their temperament seems to conform to various archetypal patterns and get an overview of their personality. It also seems to me that our various lifetimes give us opportunities to seek to add necessary characteristics from various archetypes for balance, wisdom, effectiveness, etc.--basically to make us more rounded. From what I can tell, your Pls reflect strong elements of romance/love (Aphrodite), marriage/children (Demeter), and psychic/spiritual (Persephone), but with an increasing need to stand up for your own dreams and rights in marriage, romance and elsewhere that seems like a balancing and strengthening that makes me think of Hera, but may reflect one of the other more dominant archetypes (Artemis or Athena).

Cordially,
S&S

PS—The modern slang term for killing one’s fellow soldiers is “fragging” (a term that comes from one of the favorite means used—fragmentation grenades—and is a product of the Vietnam War). There is an article in Wikipedia on it with some notable cases from various wars here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragging

PPS--Female Archetypes:

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Hi again! Thank you for the chart, it is interesting and puts a smile on my face as one can recognize one self. I had no idea there was even a word for that kind of killings, thanks for the info and link.

Yes, I agree it could be bad to remember past lives.

I have felt alone thinking I was the only one living like this (remembering being Anna). I can't imagine what it would be like to remembering being a soldier with all those traumas.

Then again it has given me the perspective that we live on in some form after we die. Otherwise with my background I am sure I would have been an atheist of some kind.

Also if one is suffering from bad things that does not come from this life I think it is healthy to realize where it does come from in order to get rid of it (like self confidence, phobias etc), but think one has to be healed the right way when doing this of course, it is a slippery road.

I was desperate when I asked my husband because I thought a solution was if he remembered being Joe then he could give my past life husband forgiveness and he would finally move on. Then again I don't want my husband to deal with any traumas, I hoped if I could just lead him astray from that and get to the core he would be fine.

Thanks for the compliments, but right about now I don't know if the past life husband has moved on or what he is up to. I never know if he is just playing with me. Like just this morning I was doing an attempt to do past life regression meditation... I was walking down the imaginary stairs as I usually do when I heard for sure a little boy call out (like mummy, mummy) several times and he was suddenly holding my hand. My soul recognized him (even if he would not have been real, but simply a memory) and it was Laura's son. I felt Laura's love for him. We left the stairs and came into an area where there was a wooden table and three wooden chairs, like it used to look back in those days. The past life husband was sitting at the table, serious. The little boy let go of my hand and quickly sat himself at the other chair. All the meanwhile in the background I heard the voice from the youtube past life regression meditation tape trying to make me follow the usual procedure. The past life husband's eyes were painful for me to meet and I could not get myself to sit down with them because the past life husband's emotions were taking charge. The boy was not affected by his father's emotions, he seemed carefree.

Instead of sitting down with them I took steps back and my back hit a wall. The husband communicating something about that I needed to remember. When I got to the wall with my back my hands first flew to my face and then my eyes. Then it was as if I was Laura again but doing this in the old living room at the ranch, and the husband was in the room as well watching this, sitting a bit down on his knees, his eyes burning again at me as I was by then too sitting down on the floor with my back against the wall, feeling terrible. That it all got too strong. I tore out of the moment and stared at my own ceiling. In retrospect I regretted not sitting down with them. Or course I do not know if this was just my imagination getting the best of me or if it was real.

I have started to experience other parts of Laura's life that reveals to me that there were periods in her life when she was slipping between having psychic abilities and being rejected, it was her secret. I don't think this happened a lot or that she could control it though.

When she was a little girl and in town with her mother figure there was a building and Laura saw what would happen in that building, it would catch on fire. When I spoke of it it was in hope in trying to make my mother figure tell those grown up people not to be there at the time, not to catch on fire.

And then it happened. And the look my mother figure gave me - no child wants. "You did this!" she said with her strange, upset accent. As if she thought I was an evil child. Think she saw anything with fire as being bad.

Maybe she left me over to the church in order for them to make me "normal" and "good" again?

Laura was always afraid of rejection. Of not being good enough. If I was told to do my homework I would instantly do it. I would try to make my bed just perfect. I mean, I would curtsy to everyone, even the husband.

And when Laura married her husband she was still that girl - keeping herself busy, working hard, anything to distract the brain, anything not to say strange things again and be rejected again. And the perfect wife was of course the wife he had had before. The photograph he kept. Felt as if I was living in her home, even though she had never sat her foot in it.

And as Laura I remember seeing his dead wife, in the house. I could see her. My husband couldn't. She had visit. Because Laura's husband could tell Laura had changed he urged her to tell him what was going on. I tried to warn him that he would get angry and think I was strange. He promised he wouldn't. Somehow I felt revealed, already.

So I told him what his dead wife had said to me "Find me". Automatically he grabbed my arm, started to ask questions like who had told me. Think that was the first time he lost his temper with me. I became quite shocked.

I could tell from her view that the smell from the dead body had gotten too bad when they had tried to continue their journey through the difficult land of dust and sand, everything dry. The others urged him to bury her there. It wasn't at a cemetery. The grave was unmarked. Think it would just bring the both of them peace if the body came to a cemetery.

So we were talking about this and my husband seemed cut in two. One condemning me for lying, and for having heard the story somewhere else, for trying to make him crazy.

It could very well be that my fear of his anger and staring at me as if I was a total weirdo made me apologize and lie to him that yes, someone had told me; but I don't know if Laura actually said that, all I could tell was all the thoughts in her brain, reacting in panic.

I don't think they ever came back for her body. Think I as Laura feared that his first wife was frustrated about that. That she would take it out on them. From before I experience that he totally forbid Laura to speak of his first wife.

I remember that the husband would after we had lost the boy and I was mentally not well threaten me to take me to a mental hospital and have me signed over. That all it took was this agreement between him and the doctor. That it would not matter what I thought. So again it was my shame and my secret. I tried to be "normal". All I know is that I was terrified of being locked away at a place like that.

Think I was at peace about it later in life. I was in balance. Remember a little boy in school talking to me about my son when I worked as a teacher and the way I answered him was as if I was more OK with what had happened in the sense I think that I knew my little boy still existed, that he visited now and then, that he was fine. And I think that was how I got by.

Best Wishes
Li La
 
Hi Li La,

What you have said about the strong role your psychic abilities played in Laura’s life made me think about Persephone, the Persephone/Demeter archetypes, and the story of Persephone, Demeter and Pluto. As you probably know, Pluto/Hades (God of the dead/underworld) desired Persephone (the beautiful daughter of Demeter) and kidnapped her forcefully, dragging her down with him to the underworld. While she was there, she and her mother Demeter mourned and Winter came to the earth, bringing the death of fruitfulness and fertility. Spring and Summer came again only when she was released again for a time from the underworld.

Somehow, there is something of Pluto/Hades in Laura’s PL husband. He comes like a powerful force sweeping Laura away from what she knew. The death of his wife is behind him. The home he takes Laura to is haunted by his dead wife’s restless spirit—almost like an outpost of Hades. While she abides there, all of Laura’s children are lost, like little buds nipped by winter’s frost. More death. There is so much that seems to resonate with the story of Pluto taking Persephone and its aftermath here—at least it seems that way to me. It also seems that, as sad as the circumstances were, it was only after Laura was free of him that a “spring” of sorts could finally come again, with her teaching and caring for the children of a native people. And, perhaps, finding in them a replacement for her own.

In any case, I still wish you could find someone to act as an intermediary between you and him. I think you will eventually have to “remember” whatever it is that he wants you to remember, but it seems like it would be easier with someone else in-between. I am afraid that, since he has remained and is so insistent, it must be extremely important and probably extremely disturbing.

Cordially,
S&S
 
Hi!

Just wanted to do an update. As things got more intense with both the past-life-husband-dilemma and doors opening up I decided to try to shut down. I was loosing energy and being sick almost all the time which is not like me. Now I am back to normal which is great, something one easily take for granted. I did not think it would be possible when I was right in the middle of it to be shut down, but bit by bit it was. I've learned to open up only for a period of time to then say goodbye and shut down. So now I feel I can better control it.

I understand any skeptic about this, I am too a skeptic actually and I suppose the only way to try to explain it is by saying all of this are things I have experienced. I am still new at this. I believe anyone can on purpose or by accident open up these doors, and I am just trying to learn more about it.

In my communication with the past life husband I tried to make him accept that we could only communicate for a brief time, then I had to say goodbye and he had to let me say that and leave me alone. Somehow that worked. I would see shadow of him at times and then tell him kindly but firmly that we could not talk right now (I know this sounds so nuts...). I could not do it any other way because he had such an intense persona and when I felt weak (and frighten) his emotions were too strong for me to deal with and I ended up even weaker than before. So anyway, we have "talked" now and then about several things, even heaven and thought of hell.

I have been told that he was very sorry (whaat...?) to have made me think my gift or ability or what one now should call it to see images and communicate with the other world was bad, was a lie or came from the devil. First I was as Laura rejected by my mother due to this and then later in life by him. His fear was also that I would see things that he did in the war, bad things, his skeletons. Laura's mother also had skeletons which was why I was send away or kept at a distance by the Church people. Her treating me differently than her other children hurt me although I just accepted it. After the death of our son my husband would "treat" me at home instead of having me signed over to a mental institute and he apologized for doing what he did to me back then (one time he grabbed the back of my neck, forced me outside and pushed my head several times up and down a bucket of water in order to "cure" me out of my mood). Later he would be remorseful and wanted to know I was OK. So he was pretty much, and I can't help but use an Italian phrase, a patrone (a boss).

It seems as if the past life husband was aware of us both having lived before. This because I was also shown another past life where his fear was great that I would be thought off as a witch and be killed over it. He did not believe human beings would have this gift, it was not looked upon as a gift. So that was where it originally came from - his own fear and determination to get rid of it which did a great deal of harm to me instead.

The traumas that came along with this made me want to take steps back and not either admit, even to myself, that I had this gift. It seems it has been buried deep inside of me, and all I have ever known since then was that I was "sensitive".

I have also communicated with the first wife of his. We even had a bit of a discussion (telepathically). She was basically talking to me as easily as she was talking about the weather but because when this communication is happening one has almost erased one self. One feels, see and understand things from her view. She believed that we will all wake up in our bodies and the bodies will be as they were before when we were alive and we will wake up like this and rise from our burial place and heaven will be here on Earth. Now - being "buried" (she did not consider it buried) in nowhere land instead of a cemetery was not right, she did not deserve this, she thought. She wanted to be buried at a cemetery. She did not like it when the people that they had been traveling with were complaining about her smell (when the body had died), she thought she was after all the one who really had something to complain about - having end up dead.
She was proud that her husband did not however complain over the smell, not once, but then again she could not imagine that her husband would sink so low that he would complain. But she did not think it was right that he had to cave in and bury her where he did and she knew he felt very bad about that.

I was shown the image that she showed Laura. Herself standing there in her dress on the land before the house was built. The message was that this was her land.

From her view she viewed Laura as someone that her husband had employed. That if she had been alive they could have employed me to care for the house and the kids. About our children she viewed the boy as a bastard, basically. Her view was explained to me that the husband, the father of the home could have children with their female employ (or employers...) but their name would not be on any birth certificate so to speak, but the child or children would be with the mother and that the husband and the wife of the land would have use of these children - they weren't "real", "important" children but they were very useful. That it was the wife that would "look away" as the husband in-pregnant one female employee. Of course to me all of this ticks me off, but this was her explanation of how she looked at the situation.
Now with time she praised how hard Laura worked. She liked how she kept the house. She liked it when it was washing day. She liked her cooking. In time it felt as if she actually liked Laura. She did point out though that she thought I was too young and that she thought I had a silly sort of humor and that I was too free in my daily physical affection to my husband (sorry, her husband), this was before the war, and she also thought he was too kind to me, and that she had been unaware that he would have such a silly sense of humor as well. She thought I would not behave this way had we been in town. She let me know though that in time she found my childish humor refreshing and that I made her smile at times.

One time I remember as Laura that I had lost track of the little boy and would in desperation close my eyes and beg and try to communicate to anyone really to show me where he was. The image came to me where he was and that the first wife was standing close to him just looking at me, serious. I rushed to where the image was shown and there he was. I could only see him at that point. I was so afraid. I did not know if she was after hurting him or if she was protecting him but in that moment I said thank you, thank you over and over again as I held him and ran off with him right back to the house.

I was let known that the boy is fine and nothing warms my heart more. (When I was Laura I was once in the kitchen when I felt the boy's presence. I sat down, closed my eyes and reached out with my hand in open space - this because I would both see image of the boy and where he stood and with my hand I would feel a difference. I was also trying to show him I knew where he was by reaching out. Whilst doing this no other than the husband had to pop up wondering what I was up to, I must have looked silly. It was explained to me that the son had lingered on because he thought we would die at the same time or that I would follow soon, because we were both very ill and we really thought we would all die in that disease. He knew he still existed and he liked to be in his home and with us).

So anyhow, now I think we are more or less all at peace about this.
Thank you all for not thinking I am a total weirdo and for helping me when I was so desperate
: )

Best Wishes Li La
 
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Hi Li La,

Great news on all fronts! I can see how people have tried to suppress parts of who you are, and how you have had to fight to be all that you are. (Anyway, I don't think suppression ever really works, at least not in the long run). Persephone frightened them. However, this is part of who you are, just as much as Aphrodite and Demeter. I also think that you are finding your inner Hera as you seek to be a partner rather than just a peon in marriage. You have to stand up for yourself, especially since you seem to pick or be picked by strong and dominant males. (Hera is the archetype here, as she was wed to the king of the gods). Also, it is just super how you have taken charge of your gifts and relationships with your PL husband and others. Once again, I'm no expert in anything, but that is how it seems to me! :D

Cordially,
S&S

PS--the PL wife seems to be trying to fit you into a niche that she likes and can understand, and is making you "Hagar" next to her "Sarai" from the Bible stories. Overall, I think she was demeaning you and trying to hold onto her own sense of exclusivity and superiority. Still, she could have been worse, and she did have something pretty terrible happen to her.
 
Hi SeaAndSky! Thank you so much!
Yes, a part of me wonders why the first wife and the past life husband just did not ride off to the sunset together after he had died, they seemed to have been the perfect couple ;) Both proud and stubborn and demeaning to people, but her attitude was dressed in a more sophisticated way. It was only after when I was not so erased from my own feelings during my conversation with her that I realized how clever she was to both put me down and give me compliments. When all of this went on she looked as if she genuinely liked me and I can say that I recognize her from somewhere but I don't know why (from another past life I assume?). She was this pretty brunette and had this womanly air about her that was only hers and it was actually positive, I could understand why the past life husband would have married her and loved her. I think some people who feel that their dignity has been taken from them get angry and hold on to a sort of superior mask, or how I now should put it. If they loose that mask they loose their dignity (never mind about other people's dignity...) She was in a hopeless situation and I think the only way she could accept things was if she put me down. I have memories of her husband loving me, but I was not about to rub that in her face, and I think a wiser part of her knew that too. A part of her must have realized it when he was seemingly happy with me before the war and I made him loose up a bit. I remember one terribly time as the husband was kissing my neck whilst holding me in his arms (this too was also before the war I think) and he was eager and passionate, when I saw - his first wife's ghost standing outside the room, the door that was open. I immediately became stiff, frighten. I could feel her communicating to me that she did not like this and that I was a whore more or less, that her husband was not to blame because he was after all a man and he could not have his first wife anymore. Just seeing her and feeling her hostile emotions towards me, whilst the husband was up to what he was up to just completely froze me. I felt like crying. I knew he would not believe me when I said she was standing right there, and he would not understand why my emotions completely changed, but at the same time it would have felt horrible to continue, and he would have known the difference. I can remember how he put his hands on my head, looking at me, asking me what was the matter. I definitely think she is in the right place now, think she kind of visited because of the past life husband and the child: it was as if she was aware of the husband's ghost but he was not aware of hers, as strange as that may sound.
I'm just happy I can leave all of this behind me : )
Thanks again
Best Wishes Li La
 
Hi Li La,

Your last post is very interesting. I'm glad that things seem to have been resolved, but I have to wonder where your gifts will take you from here. It is quite clear to me that you already know by experience and intuition a great deal more than I can know about this type of thing. It occurred to me that you might find the book that Ken just recommended useful and possibly inspiring. It is very inexpensive. Ken sent me a scan of the first 8 pages or so, and it looks very informative (plus it is recommended by Dr. Weiss). Here is the link he recently posted on the board:

http://reincarnationforum.com/threads/inexpensive-books.8615/#post-115669

Cordially,
S&S

PS--That was a terrible situation for a young wife to find herself in!
 
Hi S & S,
thank you very much : ) the book seems just wonderful, I will order it!
/Best Wishes Li La
 
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