Hey Folks,
Last Wednesday I went to see the shamanic healer near me. Am still trying to assimilate the experience, so I can't really tell as of yet what benefit or long term effect it may (or may not) have. I returned very spaced out, but took a few notes in my journal.
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(PART I)
10 Apr 19
The Shaman
In a couple of hours am seeing a shamanic healer. Nervous is an understatement.
Am at this point for change.
Don't know what to expect. If nothing will happen & disappointment will ensure, or if it will be horrific. Not sure. Am hoping to unblock my blocked self, to find answers.
Will report later more. Once I'm back.
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Came back from seeing shaman.
Am still spaced out from the experience. Will describe a bit what happened below.
Looking for a shaman came across Joe, he was only a 13 min train journey away. Got in contact with him. Told him about me. We spoke via phone. What he had to say made a lot of sense to me. He had availability this week at pretty short notice, so I took this as a sign.
Last night was dreaming about my life as if I was reviewing it. Woke up and could not sleep.
Met him at the train station. Joe the shaman had long grey curly hair in a pony tail, very piercing but warm blue eyes. He looked like the quintessential aged hippie, with a loose shirt, waistcoat, green cargo trousers. He was about 6ft tall, thin. His face was kind and welcoming. We walked to his house with his dog, a rescued greyhound who had belonged to his parents before they passed on. Apparently the dog could talk, and knew when it was 4.30 everyday (dinner time). Already felt at ease with Joe, and liked him. That's a rarity for me -- I'm very slow to warm to most folk.
Enjoyed walking through fields in the pretty English village. The sun was shining. Blue skies.
Joe told me he had been working in healing for 25 years, but had worked as a shaman for the past nine years.
His house was beautifully decorated with ornaments from his travels, carved doors from Bali. Terracotta flagstones. His garden backed onto fields and a forest.
We settled in the front room to do the session. A body shaped pillow draped with a blanket was in the centre of the room. Some sort of incense was burning, and there was soft music playing in the background -- flutes, drums.
First, Joe instructed me to stand with him. He had a rattle in his hand which he shook as we stood facing south (snake), west (jaguar), north (hummingbird) and east (condor/eagle). He spoke a prayer as we turned to each point, then we touched the ground, and he said a prayer to Mother Earth . Some words were in Quechuan.
(Q'ero Medicine Wheel that Joe based his medicine on)
We sat and talked a bit. He asked me what bought me to him today, if I had to summarise it. I told him that I feel I’m at a crossroads in my life, but unable to move in any direction.
As we sat, I had the sensation that he was ‘reading’ me or tuning into me. Not psychologically speaking, but on another level, perhaps an energetic level if you will. It was a strange feeling.
Afterwards was very stark. I could tell, looking into his eyes, that he could feel the pain that was inside and around me. He could feel the pain, but did not become it. Rather than attacking me, getting angry or becoming distant from me as most folks do, he sat with it.
Then he said to me ‘You keep going. No matter how tough it gets, you keep going.’ I nodded, but said nothing. Then he elaborated, ‘You keep on going, even though sometimes going feels very hard.’ Again I nodded, saying nothing. He said, ‘This is something that was with you then (in the past life), a gift you have taken with you.’ He said, ‘Sometimes it feels like you may want to end your life, because of how hard it is.’
At this point I said that yes, suicide sometimes crossed my mind, but my proof of reincarnation stops me doing that. Told him that sometimes I wish my life would end prematurely, and wonder if I’d drive myself to an early grave through illness, or other ways.
He looked at me knowingly then. He explained to me that if time was a spiral, circular, and not linear, then the past, present and future all interconnect. There will be many futures, some worse than the present now, some where little change occurs, some slightly better than the present, and one future that you cannot conceive will be possible. I suppose this is final path is the path of ‘wonder’ that I have written about on occasion.