phantomhyacinth
New Member
I don't have any memories, I had vivid dreams with themes that made me think I might've been reborn (dreams of falling from the sky, one where I died and 'crawled out of death') and before learning of the person I had vivid nightmares which the content seems to line up with their victims P.O.V. near/around the time of their death (a sort of punishment for me?)
I believed I was a serial killer in my past life due to my specific personality issues, violent impulses, and paraphilic fantasies. In my mind, I thought my soul had inherited those things from another life - I didn't and don't understand some things still.
Now I think I might know the specifics because Jeffrey Dahmer and I share many of the same personality traits and issues, from the specific diagnosable things, to our mannerisms and the impression we tend make on people. I don't know if I've just been obsessing over it, but I feel like I was him. Unfortunately, this idea won't leave me alone and I feel compelled to seek some sort of opinion on it. I'm obviously affected by magical thinking and a weak identity - as Dahmer had too, so I know my opinion could be affected by that.
I feel like the meaning of this life might be having to face the same issues, a challenge to do better because maybe I wasn't supposed to come back in the first place. Or maybe this is just my last chance because I keep screwing up.
A note - reading the book by his father feels to me like reading about me from my mother's point of view. It's a little unsettling and depressing to see your patterns of behaviour reflected so similarly, especially through the lens of the parent you liked (who loves more an image of you.)
I'd be grateful for any thoughts on this as I feel I can't confide explicitly to people who know me. I'm currently in therapy for the similar issues, so I don't need to be told to get help, just curious about this side of things. Thanks for taking your time to read this.
I believed I was a serial killer in my past life due to my specific personality issues, violent impulses, and paraphilic fantasies. In my mind, I thought my soul had inherited those things from another life - I didn't and don't understand some things still.
Now I think I might know the specifics because Jeffrey Dahmer and I share many of the same personality traits and issues, from the specific diagnosable things, to our mannerisms and the impression we tend make on people. I don't know if I've just been obsessing over it, but I feel like I was him. Unfortunately, this idea won't leave me alone and I feel compelled to seek some sort of opinion on it. I'm obviously affected by magical thinking and a weak identity - as Dahmer had too, so I know my opinion could be affected by that.
I feel like the meaning of this life might be having to face the same issues, a challenge to do better because maybe I wasn't supposed to come back in the first place. Or maybe this is just my last chance because I keep screwing up.
A note - reading the book by his father feels to me like reading about me from my mother's point of view. It's a little unsettling and depressing to see your patterns of behaviour reflected so similarly, especially through the lens of the parent you liked (who loves more an image of you.)
I'd be grateful for any thoughts on this as I feel I can't confide explicitly to people who know me. I'm currently in therapy for the similar issues, so I don't need to be told to get help, just curious about this side of things. Thanks for taking your time to read this.