Research question, USA

Hi, I am trying to see if someone that I might think could have been me in a past life, was married and burried but it is very hard. In my flashbacks she was from a mix race but I dont know if she was white or colored on any official paper. Her husband, a sailor, was blond and blue eyed. I have spent time trying to find them in old newspapers from 1910 til 1930 but it is as if they have never existed as a couple. The couple I suspect have very much existed, so I am lost for words. I cant find an engagement and upcoming wedding, I cant find where she was burried in 1922. Maybe the loop hole is that they were married at sea ? Maybe she was burried at sea too ? I have tried to search on this but nothing comes up. I am not from US. Maybe I am missing somerhing, not getting something. Any advice or knowledge about this would be really great. How to find records of such events at sea ?

https://www.ancestry.com/search/collections/findagraveglobal/
You seem to have only a small bit of data and a large population where that data would fit too often.

If you're buried, try findagrave.com. If the headstone was recorded by the site, you might find it there.

Klaud said:

If you're buried, try findagrave.com. If the headstone was recorded by the site, you might find it there.

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Thank you, I have tried there too...no luck...If I got it right with my flashbacks her father was ill when she was alive. If Sadie is the one that I remember it meant her father died 3 years after she did and his home is now not visible on Earth Google because of all the trees dominating where the house used to be. I don't think there is a house there no more, if it is it must be falling apart. It is still in a neighborhood with neighbors, houses, so that has not changed. If Sadie is the one then she lived with her husband and her father in that house once, before she died.

If my flashbacks are further true than her husband got "wild" after her death, drinking, and not taking care of himself properly. I don't know what happened to him. They had no children. If my flashbacks are true than she felt like a failure for not keeping ( miscarriages ) and giving him a baby/babies, he would have been a great dad then and wanted to become one. I think she felt like a failure to her Father because he had high hopes in her getting further in her education ( instead she was a drop out because she got pregnant and had to get married, but she loved her husband very much. She also felt like a "bad girl", because I remember her husband-to-be would tell her he was trying very hard to make a "descent" / married woman out of her, and not go "all the way" before marriage. I think if she had said stop he would have. Basically, she took the blame for everything. It was always only him, for her. She would never dream of being with someone else, she was very shy, no one else would ever come close so she was not be "bad" in that aspect ). I'm sorry I have such a long explanation.

I suppose my point is that there was no one around to care for her grave, if she ever had one, that is, if her husband either moved on or died young due to his life style or accident and her Father dying shortly after she did.

I don't know what they did of those they thought/or was 100% had committed suicide. If they were allowed to have a funeral just like everyone else and be buried on sacred ground ?

I don't know if they separated colored from white folks in the US regarding grave yards and if the colored were in more danger of having theirs removed or something ? That is if my flashbacks are now right and Sadie was of mix race

Jesus, I got carried away once again with my thoughts...sorry...Thanks again for trying to help

/Jaimie

Jaimie said:

Thank you, I have tried there too...no luck...If I got it right with my flashbacks her father was ill when she was alive. If Sadie is the one that I remember it meant her father died 3 years after she did and his home is now not visible on Earth Google because of all the trees dominating where the house used to be. I don't think there is a house there no more, if it is it must be falling apart. It is still in a neighborhood with neighbors, houses, so that has not changed. If Sadie is the one then she lived with her husband and her father in that house once, before she died.

If my flashbacks are further true than her husband got "wild" after her death, drinking, and not taking care of himself properly. I don't know what happened to him. They had no children. If my flashbacks are true than she felt like a failure for not keeping ( miscarriages ) and giving him a baby/babies, he would have been a great dad then and wanted to become one. I think she felt like a failure to her Father because he had high hopes in her getting further in her education ( instead she was a drop out because she got pregnant and had to get married, but she loved her husband very much. She also felt like a "bad girl", because I remember her husband-to-be would tell her he was trying very hard to make a "descent" / married woman out of her, and not go "all the way" before marriage. I think if she had said stop he would have. Basically, she took the blame for everything. It was always only him, for her. She would never dream of being with someone else, she was very shy, no one else would ever come close so she was not be "bad" in that aspect ). I'm sorry I have such a long explanation.

I suppose my point is that there was no one around to care for her grave, if she ever had one, that is, if her husband either moved on or died young due to his life style or accident and her Father dying shortly after she did.

I don't know what they did of those they thought/or was 100% had committed suicide. If they were allowed to have a funeral just like everyone else and be buried on sacred ground ?

I don't know if they separated colored from white folks in the US regarding grave yards and if the colored were in more danger of having theirs removed or something ? That is if my flashbacks are now right and Sadie was of mix race

Jesus, I got carried away once again with my thoughts...sorry...Thanks again for trying to help

/Jaimie

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I wish I could help you with figuring this out, but I'm not sure if I could.

What I can tell you, however, is people of color often were buried in separate cemeteries or their own section in a bigger cemetery. Many of them had unmarked graves and the cemeteries have since fallen into decay. Of course, that varies depending on the location, the individual, social status, wealth, etc.

Hi everyone,

During meditation, flashbacks I have experienced being the girlfriend, wife of a man that I think was a sailor during WW1. This because I later checked all the sailor's way of clothing during WW1 and found his very broad pants there.

I am a little insecure because I remember being on a ship with him along with everyone else, as if we - the loved ones - was shown around this ship, I can't say if this was during peace or if it was before or after the war, if he worked as a sailor.

The one that I think he could be was named "William Conlin". It is, as I came to realize, quite a common name. I have difficulty to find out if my William Conlin was a sailor or not.

I have had one "memory" where he got into a fist fight after the war and later complained that he survived the war, come home to the land he fought for and this is what greeted him ( dark humor ).

I think his father was someone influential and I don't know if he pulled some strings, if that now could happen, so that his son would be in less danger during the war, where his son was positioned. Then again I think my guy had turned his back on his father who had not been supportive of our relationship, so then it is possible that the son never knew this.

I know there are several people on this forum that recalled war memories and have found their past selves.

I would appreciate it, very much, if you could please give advice on how to find my sailor.


/Jaimie

I'm willing to help you as I know how frustrating it can be to want to find some validation. Immediately what came to mind was this website: https://www.fold3.com

Not sure how it works for Navy, but I've found -some- docs there. Trouble with research (any research), without more details to narrow things down it can be impossible. My suggestion is to try start doing a list of characteristics to narrow him down. Timeframe, general impression of where/when he served, name, race, place of birth, eye/hair colour -- any of these, no matter how broad can help significantly.

And in this case the most important thing would be a ship name, or name(s).

I keep on researching & have some questions

Wonder how "wrong" ( socially, religiously, legally ?) it was for a couple to wed if the husband to be was of German and Irish descent and Roman Catholic -- and the wife to be was of English descent
( her mother having immigrated from England, her father's ancestors were from England ) and not Roman Catholic. Was it alright or could there be objections? Living in Philadelphia? ( the time frame being 1912-1915 )

If a woman was 19 years of age when she married -- did she need her father's legal approval or some other relative ? This being back in 1915.

When it says of the immigrated person that she has been "naturalized" - does it mean she has adjusted to the American way of life or could it mean something else?

If a young male still in his upper teens is arrested, looking like he has been in a huge fight with scars and such on him and is send to "the mills" for what he has done -- does it mean he can not return to his education afterwards ? Expelled for life ? ( things worked out well if I look at that that he was never out of work and not getting in any legal trouble again )

If the husband-to-be's family were more well off ( looking at owning their own home and the occupation of the father of the residence ) than the future wife's to be -- was this normal or would there be any objections looking at it from a general point of view ? I could tell that the husband-to-be was later in life "drawn" to his father-in-law, leaving the Navy to work with the same trade, the same business name.

Now to a really tricky one...at least for me...if a boy was born out of wedlock how hidden did he need to be ? I found this boy that was born about 2 years before his parents were married and when the US federal census did their check up the boy was registered as the head's (the head of the house) grandson, but did not have his grandfather's last name, but had his - what one would assume - was his mother's and his father's ( then married ) last name. When I tried to trace this boy - I got nothing. I have tried researching only on the mother's name to see if any child comes up - but no. And when the husband and assumed father died it said no known children. Either there has been a mix up of some kind or was a child out of wedlock treated differently in the legal records ? Something I am missing here ? I could see that after the mother died and the father remarried -- that the father who had before lived with the son's grandfather on the same address -- then lived very close by, on another street with his second wife. The child was then not registered to live with his father and new wife. It is as if this child just vanished into thin air, if there ever was a child to start with.

Anyone who has any idea who is living in the US and done research or knows something about my questions ?


Would really appreciate it...and holding my fingers crossed that someone will answer me

All the best
Jaimie

Hi Jaimie,

On the first few questions:

Catholic + Protestant weddings were still frowned upon for the most part during this era in the U.S. -- from both sides. The ethnic thing could also be an issue during this period, but probably not as much as the religious (as long as wealth and class were not also elements in the mix).

"Naturalized" means that someone who has immigrated to the United States has gone through the process of becoming a U.S. citizen.

In terms of the fight and being expelled, this depends on a lot of things. For example, is the young man from a wealthy family that is a big donor to the school? Money and social position tend to make problems of this type go away (in the U.S. and elsewhere during this period). Otherwise, not enough to go on, but I'd say that returning to some school (if not the same school) might be possible. At least I wouldn't count it out.

In terms of how well-off families are, there are always questions raised in these situations, even today. But the size of the issue is usually going to depend on the size of the disparity. Also, the quality of the person and their ability to win the favor of their future in-laws can count for a lot, but this has always been true.

In terms of marriage without approval, this would typically be a matter of state law. Where was the marriage to take place? I might be able to look it up, but no guarantees. BTW--Here is the current situation in U.S. territories/states: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_age_in_the_United_States

Cordially,
S&S

SeaAndSky said:

Hi Jaimie,

On the first few questions:

Catholic + Protestant weddings were still frowned upon for the most part during this era in the U.S. -- from both sides. The ethnic thing could also be an issue during this period, but probably not as much as the religious (as long as wealth and class were not also elements in the mix).

"Naturalized" means that someone who has immigrated to the United States has gone through the process of becoming a U.S. citizen.

In terms of the fight and being expelled, this depends on a lot of things. For example, is the young man from a wealthy family that is a big donor to the school? Money and social position tend to make problems of this type go away (in the U.S. and elsewhere during this period). Otherwise, not enough to go on, but I'd say that returning to some school (if not the same school) might be possible. At least I wouldn't count it out.

In terms of how well-off families are, there are always questions raised in these situations, even today. But the size of the issue is usually going to depend on the size of the disparity. Also, the quality of the person and their ability to win the favor of their future in-laws can count for a lot, but this has always been true.

In terms of marriage without approval, this would typically be a matter of state law. Where was the marriage to take place? I might be able to look it up, but no guarantees. BTW--Here is the current situation in U.S. territories/states: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_age_in_the_United_States

Cordially,
S&S

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Hi Sea & Sky !

Thank you very much for your help

All that I have found about the wedding is the marriage year was 1915 and that it took place in Philadelphia. And the marriage license number and the Digital GSU number. There is no image and is text-only collection. Could it have been a civil ceremony, perhaps ? The link you send was interesting ! The husband t

I have searched for a wedding or engagement announcement in all the state's papers, but have still not found any such. I don't know why they would have wanted it to be such a private affair.

About the young man being in legal trouble after coming out of what looked to have been a really bad fight -- there was no information of what school he had gone/went to, only the years so far that he had gone to school, public, private so I am afraid I have not found anything else concerning this.

All the best
Jaimie

Hi, this may sound like a weird question to ask but if one had black hair, gray eyecolor and was caucician - could one be subjected to discrimination because of the looks in the US Period 1910-1920s ?

I don't think so Jaime, my Dad had gray eyes and was born in 1908.

KenJ said:

I don't think so Jaime, my Dad had gray eyes and was born in 1908.

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I know it is a strange question to ask. The reason I am asking is because I am researching to try to find if a certain woman could have been viewed and discriminated because of the black hair and well, gray eyes in combination or if it was simply the shade of color of the skin what was considered white or black that was what determined a racist opinion. I do not understand where the border line was, where one would belong to either. It is really terrible just viewing various documents from lets say the navy, the military, the church where one had to fill in what race one was, and if one was of color it was obvious one was separated to fill out other forms as well, while if one was considered white one was apparently "normal" and no need to fill out anything else.

There are many reasons for keeping records of, and needing for asking for racial information beside the racist thoughts - how else would it be could you assure racial bias, percentage of the population by censis, and other things? I'm sure that you use things similar in your search of people in your past. The military ha other needs to know like the lkelyhoodof their possible lack o appropiateness due to being associating with an enmy or when to be seperaed from another nationality or group speaking another language.

KenJ said:

There are many reasons for keeping records of, and needing for asking for racial information beside the racist thoughts - how else would it be could you assure racial bias, percentage of the population by censis, and other things? I'm sure that you use things similar in your search of people in your past. The military ha other needs to know like the lkelyhoodof their possible lack o appropiateness due to being associating with an enmy or when to be seperaed from another nationality or group speaking another language.

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I can understand your thinking to some other forms, documents I have seen, but not all. I think that if you would see some of the documents I have seen from this era you would understand what I mean. I don't think ( or I don't hope ! ) that US official documents today look like they did back then.

I'm old enough to remember the "whites only" signs at drinking fountains, and recalling my understanding of it when I was young. My cousin had a similar one from a train sation that he got while living in Florida where he was born (and would go back).

Hi Jaimie,

I definitely remember seeing "White" and "Colored" drinking fountains in some stores in Florida when I was a small child. (We spent a lot of time shopping at Woolworth's in that bygone age--that is where I can first remember taking note of this phenomenon). This would have been in the mid to late 50s or maybe very early 60s. That was back in the days before there was much in the way of air conditioning, so those kinds of memories are always associated in my mind with the ubiquitous ceiling fans that were in all stores (in the South at least) during that era. Large and black and surprisingly effective!

Anyhow, I can also remember seeing the signs and wondering what that was all about and having to have it explained to me. It did seem slightly strange at first to see two seemingly identical ceramic water fountains (no chilled water fountains either in those days!), but like most features of the adult world, a child takes it in stride and moved on. After all, when you are a small child, almost everything is very new and strange. Plus, what I was really interested in was the toy section, candy section (and when I got older--the comic book rack).

In terms of race, people primarily looked at the same things then that they do now: skin color, facial features, hair, and eye color/shape. It appears from prior memories you have discussed that there was something suspicious about some or all of the above. Perhaps it was not one in particular, but the overall impression given (though you seem to remember something problematic about her hair or the roots of her hair).

Cordially,
S&S

PS--One cannot always totally trust the old census records. The people taking them in "back woods" areas were sometimes uneducated and/or careless. The people giving answers were often the same (or simply may not have wanted to be truthful about certain features of their household). The primary reason for taking a census under U.S. law is just to apportion the number of representatives in the House of Representatives in the U.S. Congress, but the government has historically sought information far beyond what is necessary for this purpose.

Hi !

Anyone who can understand and would be so generous to share with me what the below is in writing ? I have tried to figure it out, but don't think I have figured it out . I would really appreciate it

I have one last -- then I'll stop. This one, below ? Anyone who knows ?



I can read out navy ( the last word ) but before that I can't figure out what it says.

I would so appreciate it if anyone can ?

Probably:

verb (used without object), RSVPed or RSVP'd, RSVPing or RSVP'ing.
to reply to an invitation: Don't forget to RSVP before Thursday.
noun, plural RSVP's.
a reply to an invitation: He sent a lovely bouquet of flowers with his RSVP.
(used on an invitation to indicate that the favor of a reply is requested).

Probibly missplled Laborer third-degree.

The last looks like Fireman, Navy.

No idea when this started:
https://www.talend.com/about-us/?utm_campaign=NA Search - Branded - General&utm_content=talend - broad&utm_creative=272909373280&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=+talend

KenJ said:

Probably:

verb (used without object), RSVPed or RSVP'd, RSVPing or RSVP'ing.
to reply to an invitation: Don't forget to RSVP before Thursday.
noun, plural RSVP's.
a reply to an invitation: He sent a lovely bouquet of flowers with his RSVP.
(used on an invitation to indicate that the favor of a reply is requested).

Probibly missplled Laborer third-degree.

The last looks like Fireman, Navy.

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Thank you very much for your replies, Ken and the link.

I think you're right on everything, except perhaps the RSP ? or what you wrote RSVPed -- this because what is written there is part of a crime record, and I can not figure out what it says before this -- the two words before -- what the crime was, either, but maybe you are right

( so far I have noticed in the records knowing I am searching 100 % on the same William/"sailor" that he had several occupations during his life time, so thank you, now I know another one that he had -- fireman )

All the best
Jaimie

Yeah, I could not find anything that felt "Right". I was aware of the need of firemen in the Navy as my Dad was Navy in WWII, no where to go when your ship is on fire!

Not sure about the top one, but the bottom one reads: Fireman, Navy.

This from Google:
The Importance of the Navy Firemen
The name originated in the days when the Fireman was responsible for keeping the fires burning in the ship's boilers which were used to make steam.

Hi

please don't laugh at this but my curiosity has won over and I figure I ask on this forum to see if someone knows these things:

My little kid says when I go out to run and her daddy to watch her (I am usually out 1 hour, around our neighborhood which is safe, I think ?) that I must bring a knife with me. Her entire face expression, eye change. She is all in character. She does the gesture with an imagined knife as she orders me how to turn/twist it. I tell her I take my cell phone instead. She sniff at this.

Was it normal that people went around with knives for protection in the past ?

The only image I have from my past life is watching my man from the 1920's handle a knife when preparing fishes we had caught (to eat over open fire) when out tenting. Also he would hold his hand kinda inward when holding it (an outdoor knife?) and his point finger on top of the blade, while eating and talking.

She was/is very convincing when she told/tells how one is suppose to behave with the knife when attacking (well defending myself I presume) another body. It has happen now several times.

/Jaimie

Hi,

I try to think back and old relative of mine once showed me a "pocket knife". Now I regret not asking him more about it. There is also something called "camping knife".
That is about it what I know of these things.
I don't think women went out with knives, only I can be mistaken about it. I don't know if my relative did.
Is there a chance your child lived in tough area from her past life? Has she said anything about that?

Best Wishes

Li La

It hasn't been that long ago here in the US. Even I carried a switch-blade knife at times in my youth. The UK is reverting back to that era because of the new laws restricting personal protection, as you undoubtedly know. Wearing bigger knives, like Jim Bowey ones, were still present here when I visited Cripple-Creek Arizona in 1976-7(?).

Hi Li La and Ken !

Thank you very much for your help.

Li La, no she has never mentioned if she has lived in a tough neighborhood or so. What I have been able to collect from her scattered little bits of stories is only that she was apparently a male. When she was being even younger than she is today she looked at me as one and the same "pretty woman" that "he" use to hold hands with. After an unexpected tantrum I've come to the conclusion that she look at it as if I - who ever I then might have been - had left her in a past life. What left means in this case, if it is even from the same past life, I don't know.

When she was angry with me about leaving I felt suddenly enormous guilt. Last thing I would want is for her to have felt I have left her or would potentially leave her in this life.

Ken, special thanks for the information as I was looking for how normal it was for people back then to have those kind of knives with them out in every day life. I also needed help with the terms of naming the knife/knives, so thank you.

Now I have found a "Switchblades in the movies" 1920-59


It was the first knife I saw in the video that looks most similar to the one I have seen in scene from experienced past life memories. I don't remember "my man" opening it and I never got a good look at the handle of it as his hand was hiding it.

/Jaimie

P.S. I still don't get the entire gesture my kid has done now several times. Like she really wants to give me a lesson/teach me how to cut and twist with the knife (sorry for the morbid words).

Hi, do you think you were in design to leave "him" and for "him" to learn how to handle being left by you? A lesson to learn? When I think of Laura (my past life identity) I feel quilt for having left my husband instead of giving him the help he needed, but he needed to be at a point too where he would kick himself in the butt and accept help. He drank too much. He showed abuse. I have always heard stories of those being left how awful that is and what stupid people the ones are who has walked out on them. But to be the one to leave also feel bad. It's terrible no matter what.

Best Wishes
Li La