I have hit reincarnation rock bottom.

I don't know where to begin with this. I'm aware of my previous lives. I've had several past life regressions. I've also seen three different psychics and they all told me the same thing which confirms my past life regressions and memories. My current life is my worst one ever.

I'm going backwards in reincarnation and I've fallen along way since my best life ever. All of my previous lives except one were average lives. I wasn't anybody important or famous and while I don't know the details of each previous life I have a feeling that I was generally content during those lives.

My best life ever was was in the late 2900s BCE. I don't know how accurate that date is but when I think about it that's the date range that's stuck in my head even though there's nothing I can remember about it that would be able to pin an ancient society's calendar to our current calendar.

In the late 2900s BCE I was the king of my city-state. Life was good at least until I lost a war and my city-state was destroyed. After that I went to live in another country. Even then I have a feeling that my life as an exiled ruler was still better than my current life.

I'm pining for this particular previous life. I wish I could live it all over again because in that life I was everything I'm not in this life. Why can't I get some of the personality I had 4920 years ago? I had to have had something going for me to make it to being a king. Most of all, I miss the wife I had in that lifetime. I wish I could be married to her again.

The memory of that past life tortures me. I dreamed about it seven nights in a row.

Marshall said:

I don't know where to begin with this. I'm aware of my previous lives. I've had several past life regressions. I've also seen three different psychics and they all told me the same thing which confirms my past life regressions and memories. My current life is my worst one ever.

I'm going backwards in reincarnation and I've fallen along way since my best life ever. All of my previous lives except one were average lives. I wasn't anybody important or famous and while I don't know the details of each previous life I have a feeling that I was generally content during those lives.

My best life ever was was in the late 2900s BCE. I don't know how accurate that date is but when I think about it that's the date range that's stuck in my head even though there's nothing I can remember about it that would be able to pin an ancient society's calendar to our current calendar.

In the late 2900s BCE I was the king of my city-state. Life was good at least until I lost a war and my city-state was destroyed. After that I went to live in another country. Even then I have a feeling that my life as an exiled ruler was still better than my current life.

I'm pining for this particular previous life. I wish I could live it all over again because in that life I was everything I'm not in this life. Why can't I get some of the personality I had 4920 years ago? I had to have had something going for me to make it to being a king. Most of all, I miss the wife I had in that lifetime. I wish I could be married to her again.

The memory of that past life tortures me. I dreamed about it seven nights in a row.

Click to expand...

What about our having free will in choosing each next life?

We choose each concrete life for a reason.

There's no one else to hold responsible for, if you don't like the lives you yourself chose.

IMHO.

Hi Marshall, I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and how you view your quality of life decreasing.

Though I agree with Cyrus, that we may have some freedom in choosing where we want to live and who to be in each life, I don't think it's quite as simple as that. I think the degree to which we're able to choose is similar to our ability to choose while we're living on earth. Sometimes there's less and sometimes there's more, depending on all our circumstances.

But even if we had a "complete" freedom to choose, in a manner of speaking, that would still not mean that we are free from the influence of our own past. People make mistakes, sometimes we choose something that we only think is the best thing for us. And it's not even about choosing right or choosing wrong, but simply the reality being different from our expectations. We don't know everything, whether we're human or a spirit, no matter what our current state is, we're still only an angle to the reality, sometimes relatively bigger or smaller, sometimes detailed and sometimes a little detached with a "wider" view but no matter how we see the reality we'll never see everything about it, since that would prevent us from seeing anything at all.

So, without actually knowing anything about you, I won't try to guess the circumstances of your particular case. I'll just share some general possibilities that come to mind. I think it is possible that you might have chosen a starting point to your current life that you thought was good for you until you were actually there experiencing it for yourself. It might also be that in this life you've acted differently than you thought you would, before you were born to this life. Or it might be possible that you saw the suffering that might come to you but for some reason thought it necessary even though it doesn't make sense to you now. Or it might be that you reacted to something you wanted to change from your previous life/lives, big or small, and that ended up resulting in something you couldn't have seen coming. These are just some ideas. The reasons for our choices can be so complex.

Personally, I chose my current life based on an idea I had, that has turned out to be too vague. There were certain things I wanted to change and certain benefits I wanted to reap, since I had not yet lived in the "modern" times. Basically I saw this life as an opportunity to do a lot of things I had not yet had chance to do, and of course I knew that each benefit will have its natural counterpart that I'll have to suffer. But I did not know exactly what these things would be or feel like, since I had only observed them, not yet felt them personally. So I've had both great happiness and some suffering I could not have predicted.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that only you can know what happened in your past lives that lead you to your current situation, and which part of it was your choice and which part wasn't. But also that the answer is probably rather complex, not just one simple answer but rather a web of them, or a chain of events. And you will probably have to seek to understand yourself, and what you've been through, in a very patient, gentle manner and you're going to need a lot of forgiveness for yourself and other people in your lives, to be able to unlock about your past what you need, to understand your current life.

Hi Marshall,

I am sorry too you have it so bad.

I think there might be something there you have to go through.

For me in my past life I could not get my love life in order. The few loves I had was different type of guys, with one thing in common -- a bad temper, so I remember having my life threaten, being beaten now and then and the mental abuse also that came with this in these few ( but not all of these, 2 stood out as "just" having famously known bad tempered ) men.

I found proof too that this happened as I found my past self, and could read about the abuse I remembered in a yellow old newspaper. It even happened in public. And I had to spend time in hospital due to the physical injuries.

Back in those days the legal system was not like it is today in Europe and in the US to make it illegal to beat up etc a partner or ex partner.

I can't really say what I was suppose to learn about all of that. I have read, though in this life, that sadly people who are in one abusive relationship tend to slip right back into another new abusive relationship. Perhaps because one has not healed enough in between ? I don't know... It was perhaps not such a surprise the stress was too much for me and I got anxiety in that life, had sleeping trouble, and became depressed.

In this current life a young man got interested in me in a romantic way and I just had this feeling, my gut feeling, that this guy had a bad temper. No one else saw this. And I thought to myself - not again, never again. He reminded me of one of my past life loves. He was persistent, several years, actually, never known anyone to be that stubborn, and the way things were was that we could not get out of each other's way either, at the time. I had a friend with psychic abilities and she used to have visions of the future as well ( so many came true, spooky stuff ). She would tell me that she saw me with him and I was expecting a baby ( surprisingly early, I'd say as I was quite young and had never thought of becoming a young mother... ). I told her straight off that even though he was charming and good looking ( other girls liked him, but he was stubbornly single ) I was still sure that he had a bad temper. I refused to give in.

And he did have it, as it turned out. And he was jealous ( no use for that as I was not interested in someone else either and I was not dating anyone ). It was a shocker when people saw this, to them, they had never seen that side to him. Everything just stopped. And it was directed at me.

I don't know if this was my fault - that I pushed his buttons after not having responded back to him, so I had this coming, but on the other hand I don't think he was in his right to do this to me regardless as I had never been unkind to him, or strayed him along or anything like that. I had always treated him with respect. And I had always tried to really get out of his way. I was also, regardless of what, painfully shy. My friend, with all her psychic abilities, had not seen that one coming with his temper and jealousy being so bad. She was shocked too. I was the only one who wasn't.

After some time, out of the blue, she told me she saw me with another man in the future. And one day I actually did meet him and we did get married and start our own family. He has temper, but not a bad one. I am not afraid with him like I remembered that I was in my previous life. He has never done any of the physical abuse I sadly remembered happened to my past self.

I suppose my conclusion is that what ever I had to work through - was worked through in the past and then taken with me in the present one. And because I had my free will and I stood by my free will no matter what: I ( finally ) ended up with something ( or rather someone ) that suit me better. We've been together for a very long time now. I am so grateful for this.

I hope things turns around for you so you can enjoy this life as much as you did that life so very long ago, everything can change, you know.

/Jaimie

Hi, Marshall

I remember that my current life was chosen in a very simple way. I just wanted to live in peace. When I was a child I was very poor, but I know it was necessary because in my previous life I made enough money that was wasted. I wanted to live in a Latin American country different from the United States. I wanted to be a simple, normal person, really. Unfortunately the memories of my previous life are still in my mind. I'm constantly suffering panic attacks. Last year I was diagnosed with BDP. I thought my current life would be very easy because I chose to be an ordinary person, but I still feel empty sometimes. Teaching music and guitar to my students makes me happy, although I miss many people. I know I'll be able to meet these people again, because... we have planned to be together many times! Sometimes we decide to stop seeing someone in a specific life, because we need to grow and move forward, although that means feeling pain.

About personality, in all lives we are different. I have past lives where my behavior was very different from the behavior I have now. Sometimes I wish to have talents or personalities that I had in the past, but I am aware that I am now someone else.

The soul remains the same, but we have differences. All the people we went to in the past had their own egos, thoughts, upbringings, and lessons. Yes, we chose our life, but I see it as seeing a leaf with an overview. It's like a dream. "Oh, this will be my life", idelizing what will happen, but when you are here... things get very difficult.

All this I've written is my opinion, I may be wrong, but that's what I think.

I'm sorry for my English.

Thanks for posting this. I guess a lot of people will feel identified with you.

It is not the fact of that you have hit ‘reincarnation rock bottom’ there something you WANT from that lifetime which MAKES YOU WANT to be back there. You need to look at what you are pining or longing for from that lifetime.

For me, from my Ancient Egyptian Queen and Pharaoh lifetimes (18th/19th Dynasty) I wanted the simplicity of life. Where as a Queen/Mother the only serious two things I had to worry about was keeping my daughters healthy and keeping the people of Egypt happy. As Pharaoh, I continually worried about making the same mistake — not keeping the people of Egypt happy) and the only thing I had to worry about was which one of my sons would live long enough to succeed me to the throne? I ended up being called and are still called ‘Egypt’s Great Grandfather’ so I must have done something right.

I wanted the simplicity of being royal (you said yourself you longed for your King lifetime) where everyone did stuff for me, but now I have learned throughout my non-Royal lifetimes that if I want something done I do it myself.

The same with my WWII lifetime. I wanted and longed to be back in Germany, but it took a lot of soul searching to realise that I didn’t want to be back in wartime and Jewish persecution — but I wanted who I had with me in that lifetime. I wanted the people I had around me and I am very lucky to have them as my Spirit Guides in this lifetime so they are always around me again.

Once you address what you long for, then it won’t bother you as much. It works.

Marshall said:

The memory of that past life tortures me. I dreamed about it seven nights in a row.

Click to expand...

You got to stop letting your mind do this! It doesn’t torture you, you are LETTING IT torture you. Why don’t you just be happy that you had a really great royal lifetime when things were great-tish and accept that that lifetime is done, it’s finished and you can’t go back and be how you were. If you go to bed with it on your mind it WILL appear in your dreams, so stop giving it the power to do this and I know you will feel better.

Past Life discovery is not easy. It’s freakin’ hard emotional, mental and spiritual work. You chose to remember in this lifetime. Use these happier past life memories as a springboard to improving this life. Know that you are so much better than you give yourself credit for.

Wish you the best my friend,
Eva x

Marshall said:

I don't know where to begin with this. I'm aware of my previous lives. I've had several past life regressions. I've also seen three different psychics and they all told me the same thing which confirms my past life regressions and memories. My current life is my worst one ever.

I'm going backwards in reincarnation and I've fallen along way since my best life ever. All of my previous lives except one were average lives. I wasn't anybody important or famous and while I don't know the details of each previous life I have a feeling that I was generally content during those lives.

My best life ever was was in the late 2900s BCE. I don't know how accurate that date is but when I think about it that's the date range that's stuck in my head even though there's nothing I can remember about it that would be able to pin an ancient society's calendar to our current calendar.

In the late 2900s BCE I was the king of my city-state. Life was good at least until I lost a war and my city-state was destroyed. After that I went to live in another country. Even then I have a feeling that my life as an exiled ruler was still better than my current life.

I'm pining for this particular previous life. I wish I could live it all over again because in that life I was everything I'm not in this life. Why can't I get some of the personality I had 4920 years ago? I had to have had something going for me to make it to being a king. Most of all, I miss the wife I had in that lifetime. I wish I could be married to her again.

The memory of that past life tortures me. I dreamed about it seven nights in a row.

Click to expand...

Your not the only ok. This life I hit rock bottom too and many others. My favorite lifetime took place in 238bc. A general that once said" Every time a different stratagem". Focus on your heart the answers are there. Connect with your higher self, thats the fastest way to reclaim your power. There's a lot of powerful souls in this planet, we have a lot of juice.

Marshall said:

I don't know where to begin with this. I'm aware of my previous lives. I've had several past life regressions. I've also seen three different psychics and they all told me the same thing which confirms my past life regressions and memories. My current life is my worst one ever.

I'm going backwards in reincarnation and I've fallen along way since my best life ever. All of my previous lives except one were average lives. I wasn't anybody important or famous and while I don't know the details of each previous life I have a feeling that I was generally content during those lives.

My best life ever was was in the late 2900s BCE. I don't know how accurate that date is but when I think about it that's the date range that's stuck in my head even though there's nothing I can remember about it that would be able to pin an ancient society's calendar to our current calendar.

In the late 2900s BCE I was the king of my city-state. Life was good at least until I lost a war and my city-state was destroyed. After that I went to live in another country. Even then I have a feeling that my life as an exiled ruler was still better than my current life.

I'm pining for this particular previous life. I wish I could live it all over again because in that life I was everything I'm not in this life. Why can't I get some of the personality I had 4920 years ago? I had to have had something going for me to make it to being a king. Most of all, I miss the wife I had in that lifetime. I wish I could be married to her again.

The memory of that past life tortures me. I dreamed about it seven nights in a row.

Click to expand...

Marshall, First off you should not be so hard on yourself. As you are judging this from a human level of consciousness rather than from a soul state of awareness. From a soul state of consciousness all life through out the cosmos is apart of divine love which is the essence of god. However when we judge ourselves for failing mis-doings ect.. we are coming from the lower ego which is limited in its understanding of the bigger picture to the divine plan. As soul in order for all of us to mature and gain spiritual growth and unfoldment we must experience all that there is to experience in the lower worlds of duality. And this include the hard stuff, like poverty, ill heath, handling power badly, being a minority within a culture or time period and all the in-between. Going thru these experiences forces soul to grow much harder then it would have other wise. You also might be going thru a dark night of soul experience. All souls that are more advance in spiritual awareness must experience this as it is the letting go of the lower ego which up until now had control of the whole show. Now the higher self is taking charge and the lower ego is being torn apart, having to let go of all its illusions of attachments, fame, power, wealth ect… In replace of all this the higher self is slowly taking hold and one beings to see the true purpose of life and existences and that it is unconditional love that truly matter in life.

As it is what is inside us that is truly real everything on the outside gets left behind when we die. So we only take our experience with us to the higher dimensions. So the most important life that you should be consider with is this one. Your past lives have severed you well as they have taken you up to this point. However you should let them go now because they server you no more. This life is the most important one now because you already have everything you need to create the reality you want in the here and now within you. But remember you can be what ever your want to be but it must come from your heart not your ego. As ego is about power, control over others, pride, fame... however these are illusions and are fleeting at best. But if you come from your heart all will be right and it will all work out for the better of all concerned my friend including yourself. So take heart my friend. You might feel as though you are going backwards. But that's not true. Your just going thru growing pains of the soul as you let go of your lower ego which was tied to your PL. You have something much bigger to achieve now. Much more... for you are in the bringing stages now of enlightenment. And your life will take on a much more grander meaning than you can conceiver now.

Love and peace.

P.

Polaris8 said:

Marshall, First off you should not be so hard on yourself. As you are judging this from a human level of consciousness rather than from a soul state of awareness. From a soul state of consciousness all life through out the cosmos is apart of divine love which is the essence of god. However when we judge ourselves for failing mis-doings ect.. we are coming from the lower ego which is limited in its understanding of the bigger picture to the divine plan. As soul in order for all of us to mature and gain spiritual growth and unfoldment we must experience all that there is to experience in the lower worlds of duality. And this include the hard stuff, like poverty, ill heath, handling power badly, being a minority within a culture or time period and all the in-between. Going thru these experiences forces soul to grow much harder then it would have other wise. You also might be going thru a dark night of soul experience. All souls that are more advance in spiritual awareness must experience this as it is the letting go of the lower ego which up until now had control of the whole show. Now the higher self is taking charge and the lower ego is being torn apart, having to let go of all its illusions of attachments, fame, power, wealth ect… In replace of all this the higher self is slowly taking hold and one beings to see the true purpose of life and existences and that it is unconditional love that truly matter in life.

As it is what is inside us that is truly real everything on the outside gets left behind when we die. So we only take our experience with us to the higher dimensions. So the most important life that you should be consider with is this one. Your past lives have severed you well as they have taken you up to this point. However you should let them go now because they server you no more. This life is the most important one now because you already have everything you need to create the reality you want in the here and now within you. But remember you can be what ever your want to be but it must come from your heart not your ego. As ego is about power, control over others, pride, fame... however these are illusions and are fleeting at best. But if you come from your heart all will be right and it will all work out for the better of all concerned my friend including yourself. So take heart my friend. You might feel as though you are going backwards. But that's not true. Your just going thru growing pains of the soul as you let go of your lower ego which was tied to your PL. You have something much bigger to achieve now. Much more... for you are in the bringing stages now of enlightenment. And your life will take on a much more grander meaning than you can conceiver now.

Love and peace.

P.

Click to expand...

I agree with Polaris 8 on everything, except for the part of discarding your ego. You need your ego, its your third chakra. Your ego is the heart's enforcer, Heart gives orders, ego takes them and acts upon them. When you shove your heart aside. That's when ego focuses only on dominating.

Ernesto Paredes said:

I agree with Polaris 8 on everything, except for the part of discarding your ego. You need your ego, its your third chakra. Your ego is the heart's enforcer, Heart gives orders, ego takes them and acts upon them. When you shove your heart aside. That's when ego focuses only on dominating.

Click to expand...

Ernesto, Perhaps you mis-understood about the ego. While incarnated we do need our ego as it serves and protects us from harm and danger be it physical, emotional or mental. As it is tied into the astral and mental body of man. The first three charka you speak of deal with survival and a senses of self in the physical world. Your third chakra is the core of our personality, our identity, of our ego. It is the center of willpower. While the Sacral chakra second seeks pleasure and enjoyment, the third chakra is all about the perception of who you are. However our heart charka is the gateway between heaven and earth. As it is the gateway to the higher dimensions of spirit. The anahata chakra is associated with unconditional love, compassion, and joy. It is the source of deep and profound truths that cannot be expressed in words. Anahata is a bridge between the lower and upper chakras integrating the manifest with the spiritual.

So what happens is the soul (higher self) must take control of the lower ego in order for it to serve one correctly in life. If left uncheck and not connected it can run amuck and create more negative karma to work out in future lifetimes. This is what you mean by the ego becoming focuses only on dominating. This is why it is important to open up the heart charka as it will connect the lower ego to the higher self and serve soul for the purpose of what it was intended for in the first place. However the majority of people alive today usually only deal with the first three chakra. So during the dark night of soul the higher self is breaking up the lower ego and it is trying to connect to the lower consciousness and manifest higher spiritual truth. But the lower ego does not want this as it has been running the show for many lifetimes now. So a battle wages from within the inner self of the person and their outer world falls apart and everything they thought was near and dear to them gets striped away. The lower ego put up a strong fight but in the end the lower ego lays naked and bare for all the world to see. Then the higher self fills the lower ego with the pure light of truth and divine love and a new person from within is born in a senses as the soul now has full control of the lower ego now. And then the person is on their way towards enlightenment.

Hope that makes some senses

Love and peace. P

Polaris8 said:

Ernesto, Perhaps you mis-understood about the ego. While incarnated we do need our ego as it serves and protects us from harm and danger be it physical, emotional or mental. As it is tied into the astral and mental body of man. The first three charka you speak of deal with survival and a senses of self in the physical world. Your third chakra is the core of our personality, our identity, of our ego. It is the center of willpower. While the Sacral chakra second seeks pleasure and enjoyment, the third chakra is all about the perception of who you are. However our heart charka is the gateway between heaven and earth. As it is the gateway to the higher dimensions of spirit. The anahata chakra is associated with unconditional love, compassion, and joy. It is the source of deep and profound truths that cannot be expressed in words. Anahata is a bridge between the lower and upper chakras integrating the manifest with the spiritual.

So what happens is the soul (higher self) must take control of the lower ego in order for it to serve one correctly in life. If left uncheck and not connected it can run amuck and create more negative karma to work out in future lifetimes. This is what you mean by the ego becoming focuses only on dominating. This is why it is important to open up the heart charka as it will connect the lower ego to the higher self and serve soul for the purpose of what it was intended for in the first place. However the majority of people alive today usually only deal with the first three chakra. So during the dark night of soul the higher self is breaking up the lower ego and it is trying to connect to the lower consciousness and manifest higher spiritual truth. But the lower ego does not want this as it has been running the show for many lifetimes now. So a battle wages from within the inner self of the person and their outer world falls apart and everything they thought was near and dear to them gets striped away. The lower ego put up a strong fight but in the end the lower ego lays naked and bare for all the world to see. Then the higher self fills the lower ego with the pure light of truth and divine love and a new person from within is born in a senses as the soul now has full control of the lower ego now. And then the person is on their way towards enlightenment.

Hope that makes some senses

Love and peace. P

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To Polaris8 ,Its the same thing, is one ego, with its corresponding one in a every dimension. The battle for a perfect peace, 80% love 20% fear thats the balance. That is your master key for accessing any reality in time and space.(come and go as you please). The outside mirrors the inside of you. Karma is the universal law of cause and effect. There are another 12 universal laws. To name a few 1, Law of One, 13 Free Will. This Laws keep the universe or multiverse (depending on your awareness) from collapsing. It is the checks and balances of this sectional multiverse. You needed it all, it exist within all of us. True enlightenment is to realize that your a creator just like any other god before or after in this timeline. What they can do, we can do too. In the words of my Higher-self (your adviser, never takes over) Builders Observers Destroyers of are own reality(GODS). For any body that reads this, To keep it simple follow your heart(that is security, freedom, and happiness). Eventually you will get there.

Ernesto Paredes said:

To Polaris8 ,Its the same thing, is one ego, with its corresponding one in a every dimension. The battle for a perfect peace, 80% love 20% fear thats the balance. That is your master key for accessing any reality in time and space.(come and go as you please). The outside mirrors the inside of you. Karma is the universal law of cause and effect. There are another 12 universal laws. To name a few 1, Law of One, 13 Free Will. This Laws keep the universe or multiverse (depending on your awareness) from collapsing. It is the checks and balances of this sectional multiverse. You needed it all, it exist within all of us. True enlightenment is to realize that your a creator just like any other god before or after in this timeline. What they can do, we can do too. In the words of my Higher-self (your adviser, never takes over) Builders Observers Destroyers of are own reality(GODS). For any body that reads this, To keep it simple follow your heart(that is security, freedom, and happiness). Eventually you will get there.

Click to expand...

Ernertso, yes basically we are talking about the same thing only we both have different ways to express it. Which is apart of individuality. You are correct in that we are all striving to become masters of our own reality. Which is why we are all here in the first place so that the soul may known itself by it's own experiences.

Love and peace. P.

Polaris8 said:

Ernertso, yes basically we are talking about the same thing only we both have different ways to express it. Which is apart of individuality. You are correct in that we are all striving to become masters of our own reality. Which is why we are all here in the first place so that the soul may known itself by it's own experiences.

Love and peace. P.

Click to expand...

I agree

Hello Marshall,

my best wishes that you can deal with your hardships and will be able to experience being content or even happy again.

Well, there is one good thing about having hit rock bottom: from that point, it can only go upwards...

Then, what was so good about these PLs and what is so bad about your current life?

Was that life of a king really all gold and glory? No regrets? Never felt like being on a golden chain?
Didn't you ever wish to be free of the responsibility or to be able to just have a walk unnoticed?

Can it be that you feel lonely in your current life? That no one appreciates you, that people even don't notice you?
I know that feel and the frustration, but it also is like having a super power. Invisibility definitely has its advantages.
On the money side, you probably don't own too much. But as you write here, you probably aren't starving.
This is a chance to be free. From the inside. Maybe your current life is so that you learn you don't really need fame, material possessions and such?
Maybe you seem to go "downwards" like in school the lessons get harder each grade and now you are ready to face what ever it is that makes your current life so hard?

We others can only guess, of course. My best wishes to you.

SeekerOfKnowledge said:

Was that life of a king really all gold and glory? No regrets? Never felt like being on a golden chain?
Didn't you ever wish to be free of the responsibility or to be able to just have a walk unnoticed?

Can it be that you feel lonely in your current life? That no one appreciates you, that people even don't notice you?
I know that feel and the frustration, but it also is like having a super power. Invisibility definitely has its advantages.
On the money side, you probably don't own too much. But as you write here, you probably aren't starving.

Click to expand...

It's a previous life that I was only able to see in very small pieces. I don't know if it was all gold and glory. I could see from my regressions that the portion sizes on the king's table were much smaller than the portion sizes in most modern restaurants. I have things the king didn't have, such as two cars, one new car and an older car in storage, a computer and a smartphone. I have him beat there but loneliness is my biggest issue in this lifetime which was never a problem in my lifetime as a king. I may have more stuff than he could have ever dreamed of having but the things he had were more important, such as a wife, friends and a good personality, all of which I'm lacking in this lifetime.

In past life regressions I can only see small flashes of moments from that lifetime but how I felt in those moments and the details of my personality are stronger memories. The moments I saw from that life were more of the mundane moments, such as the day it snowed and the snow covered everything, which is unusual in that part of the world.

Ah, so loneliness is the issue.
But why do you think you had a "good" personality as a king and now you haven't?
Besides, you can always change the way you see things, how you think and how you act or re-act.

SeekerOfKnowledge said:

But why do you think you had a "good" personality as a king and now you haven't?

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When I've done those past life regressions I can only see things from the previous self's point-of-view, so everything I've seen about how I was back then is actually what I thought about myself in that lifetime. The "good" personality is really what I thought about myself in that lifetime so it's possible it wasn't how others saw me then. It may have been extreme confidence or narcissism but if I was oblivious to how other people saw me back then I wouldn't be able to see that in a past life regression. I do know from the past life regression that I loved to party in that lifetime and I believed I was the life of the party.

In this lifetime I'm quiet, reserved, shy, sensitive and serious, all things I really don't like about myself so I would love it if I could get a little of that extreme confidence and narcissism from that previous life. I don't like the personality I have in this lifetime. My seriousness came from two lives ago, the one in which I died in 1944. I lived in Germany during that time so the spiritual advisor told me the serious and reserved part of my personality is a hold-over from the misery of living in a war zone. I sure hope I wasn't a Nazi in that lifetime.

When the spiritual advisor told me the reason I'm so serious is because of a wartime lifetime I was crushed. I feel like I'm missing out. The thing I want is to have fun and enjoy life a little. I had fun once, it was awful. That was five years ago. I did something I always wanted to do but since I went solo I looked around, saw people with their significant others so that ruined the experience for me. I haven't tried doing anything fun since then. Now I spend my life working and making as much money as possible, that's it.

I know what I'm supposed to accomplish in this lifetime but so far I'm not there yet. I was raised by my grandma who had messed up priorities. Some of those messed up priorities were passed on to me so now the wrong things are important to me. The lasting gifts from her are hang-ups and obsessions that I'm going to carry with me into subsequent lives. It's hard to get stuff done when priorities aren't straight. My dad was something else altogether so I should probably at least be happy I have a good middle-class income in this life even though I'm not yet achieving what I wanted to accomplish before I entered this life.

Have you tried to forgive your grandma and yourself? You are aware that you have taken on priorities that do not serve you, so you can decide to let them go. Easier said than done, I still have moments myself when I feel like a failure (and then I remind myself not to identify myself with my current "ID") There are all kinds of things you can do (affirmations, meditation, sound therapy, practicing gratitude, write your own prayers/mantras/affirmations), but figuring out what works for you is your job, unfortunately.

Hello Marshall,

As difficult as it is, for those of us aspiring for something better while having it continually denied to us, the only way forward, is one of positivity and the hope of a better tomorrow. I am a Hindu from India, and as you may be aware, the theory of Karma is a given, in Indian thought.

Here is an excerpt from Swami Vivekananda's cardinal book on Karma Yoga - a series of talks he gave in the US - His works have been a pillar of strength and a perennial source of comfort and peace to me throughout my years on this planet -- "Our Karma determines what we deserve and what we can assimilate. We are responsible for what we are; and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act."

So you see, there is always hope, even if your current situation feels hopeless.

If you are interested, the whole book is available at : https://www.vivekananda.net/PDFBooks/KarmaYoga.pdf

I wish you strength, my friend. And peace and love.
Om,
Ramya