Dipanwita Saha
Active Member
3 years ago, I told my mother about my reincarnation and tried very hard to explain what I feel or why I am in so much pain, why I cannot adjust in this environment.. I want to find my real parents, my past life birth place, my past life love, my enemy who tortured and rape me everyday with as cruelty as possible.. about my death... but my present life mother failed to understand.. she thought I have mental issues or any kind of ghost stuff is happening with me and she gave me solutions with superstitions (Hindu Culture).. even she told other people also. They told my mother I am a crazy mental patient and she was terrified with all this.
I was 17, I had no idea how to handle all this... so I had to lie to stop her from what was she doing. I told her that I was wrong.. there is nothing true in my story, I was overthinking and everything is okay. nothing serious.
But I wasn't wrong ever.. I think I get so many proofs now.. I dreamed about my past life living place, temple, how I looked like (my face) etc.. I remember these things now.. but I cannot prove it... because I think my past life was minimum 900 to 1000 years ago... I find out some sculpture, hills, places and 1000 years old temple which I exactly dreamed like... I remember my enemy's every single torture.. though now I know how he looked like ( his eyes and hair, skin color) it is becoming more and more painful for me day by day than ever was but still I cannot prove anything..
I am afraid if I tell anything to my mother about this she cannot handle it... she is too weak to listen this things and afraid too... but she is the only one in my family now, I have no one that I can share with.. If she understands maybe she can help me to find everything or atleast I can feel peace... except this things she is like my best friend... I don't know what I should do.. I always feel like I am cheating to my mother and every people around me.. I even don't know I can marry anyone or not.. I can't be happy with anyone... in this 20 years of my life I still cannot adjust with other people, I was 2 or 3 years old kid from then I could feel I am different from others.. I always think this is not my place, not my world, not my people, not my parents.. there is nothing for me.. this life is just punishing me every second.. I am suffering.. I cry every night but no one can listen to me, there is no one I can talk and share my feelings with.. I miss my love, my husband. I was 12 years old too young when I first remember about my rapes clearly.. I could feel how rape feels like that pain... I knew I was pregnant.. I can feel how a pregnant woman feels like... now I am dying every minutes ever seconds, 1 minutes = 1 death for me.
Help me, What I should do? How can I tell my mother about everything? How will she able to understand me?
I was 17, I had no idea how to handle all this... so I had to lie to stop her from what was she doing. I told her that I was wrong.. there is nothing true in my story, I was overthinking and everything is okay. nothing serious.
But I wasn't wrong ever.. I think I get so many proofs now.. I dreamed about my past life living place, temple, how I looked like (my face) etc.. I remember these things now.. but I cannot prove it... because I think my past life was minimum 900 to 1000 years ago... I find out some sculpture, hills, places and 1000 years old temple which I exactly dreamed like... I remember my enemy's every single torture.. though now I know how he looked like ( his eyes and hair, skin color) it is becoming more and more painful for me day by day than ever was but still I cannot prove anything..
I am afraid if I tell anything to my mother about this she cannot handle it... she is too weak to listen this things and afraid too... but she is the only one in my family now, I have no one that I can share with.. If she understands maybe she can help me to find everything or atleast I can feel peace... except this things she is like my best friend... I don't know what I should do.. I always feel like I am cheating to my mother and every people around me.. I even don't know I can marry anyone or not.. I can't be happy with anyone... in this 20 years of my life I still cannot adjust with other people, I was 2 or 3 years old kid from then I could feel I am different from others.. I always think this is not my place, not my world, not my people, not my parents.. there is nothing for me.. this life is just punishing me every second.. I am suffering.. I cry every night but no one can listen to me, there is no one I can talk and share my feelings with.. I miss my love, my husband. I was 12 years old too young when I first remember about my rapes clearly.. I could feel how rape feels like that pain... I knew I was pregnant.. I can feel how a pregnant woman feels like... now I am dying every minutes ever seconds, 1 minutes = 1 death for me.
Help me, What I should do? How can I tell my mother about everything? How will she able to understand me?