Memory Salad?

So I recently meditated, and saw some pretty... strange things. I think some of it was my own input (it'll be clear why once I go into detail), but mostly it was a random daydream. I call it "memory salad" because it seems to be a compilation of memories - if anything. I'm not entirely sure it wasn't a daydream I'm making more out of than I should. (How do you know?)

There's this woman who is in what seems to be in a hurricane of sorts, calling out to her son. He is then covered by debris, and she starts calling out "Damon! Damon!"

The same woman goes to a door, a white door. And that's when things change.

I'm going up some steps, and at the top of the staircase I can see a small room. A voice asks me if I really want to go in there, if I really want to know. I'm unsure, but I go anyway.

The bedroom is small and white, like the stairs. (Everything in this house seems to be white, for some reason - I even sense that I'm wearing a white shirt.) As I enter, an elderly woman, my mother, is on the bed.

I sit next to her, and she keeps saying something like: "Ba-nin-yi" or "Ba-nin-ee." It troubles me, and I keep saying "Mom, stop. Please stop." I know she can't help it, but I can't help it either - she's my mother, and she's supposed to be telling me it's going to be okay, not the source of my problems. (Although get the sense that perhaps she always had been, long before her apparent dementia.)

I go into another room, a room with a purple bed lined with toys. I imagine a small girl on the bed, but know she's not really there - maybe I'm seeing myself at a younger age, or perhaps another child important to me.

As I leave the room to head back down the stairs, I see the woman who'd lost her son. She tells me what happened, and I say I'm sorry. All the while I can still hear my mother going "ba-nin-nee."

This is where it gets even stranger. She tells me she's my Spirit Guide, then says she isn't, and that it's all me.

So... I'm confused. I don't know if this is a valid memory, especially as I don't recall feeling anything. However, I did once before have a dream where an elderly lady uttered those exact words, and I remember waking up distraught.

All I can think of is that the parts with the woman were either, or a combination of, my own imagination interfering or a different incident altogether. After all, even with CL memories I've been accused of making two different things one big event before.

Thoughts?

From what I've seen of my own dreams, the term "salad" is probably quite appropriate. I tend to trust that I don't remember 99% of my dreams, and that they all must cover so much more territory than past lives. And, the ones that possibly could have anything to do with past lives could be spread out among thousands of lifetimes. In addition, of those many lifetimes, how would I know which of each lifetime a certain specific mental impression came from?


I have no doubt that many of our memories have a context that is understood and felt. Somehow, we recognize that a frozen moment in time has happened during a recognizable period of time in a specific part of the world; and we feel how real it is and how much a part of ourselves that memory is. However, dreams are also made of countless images that seem to come out of nowhere and have no destination.


I believe that dreams, remembered or not, all provide a tiny window of insight to our souls. But, for the most part, my own dreams seem to have very little to do with either the past or the future.

Hi Looking Backwards,


The crossing of the door was quite symbolic. Creating a mental image of such is a technique used by regression therapists to "open" a connection with a possible past life memory. The confusion of your mother claiming to be your spiritual guide came aross to me as her saying that she is working as your spiritual guide now, but that such information might be confusing to you in the purpose of what you were intended to see/remember and she therefore denied it? The mental images that you saw, or the connecting with the Akashic Records, as I like to refer to it, seemed real enough. It is the interpretation of such images that we often find confusing. Sometimes the reflections and interpretations concerning the visions/memory, such as is also the case with past life regression, is a process that takes some time, as does the interpretation of their connections as to whom, when and where...

Update


I had a memory yesterday hat might be related to this, as well as other memories I have had which I think I've mentioned elsewhere.


It starts off with me, wearing a t-shirt and skirt on a hot summer day eating a Popsicle. I begin to feel myself shrink as though to fit in a young child's body.


I start watching this girl, who I believe is myself. She is a brunette with a freckly face coming home with a friend, Jeanie. (I've mentioned one memory of a "Jeanette".) She looks sat the house, which is a sort of rugged place on the side of a road. She really doesn't want to go in, and Jeanie doesn't seem to want her to either.


The girl enters the house and sees a bunch of boxes. She is relieved that her mother does not appear to be around, and lays on the couch. It looks like she's watching something - maybe TV, maybe a person, maybe just reflecting.


I have another flash of this girl in a bathing suit - I can't remember what it looks like. She's with her friends, who call themselves "the tadpoles."


This memory made me extremely giddy and happy, like I'd met up with my old friends again. I also felt calmer about Jeanette - before, I'd been afraid of remembering her somehow, but I feel like I've almost been forgiven. Or that I've at least remembered a time when we were friends and not... whatever else.


Curiously, I once had a dream where I was laying on the floor in the dark, and someone kept whispering "Hilary! Hilary!" When I woke up the first thing I thought of was frogs. I wonder if that is related to my "tadpoles" association.


I can't tell you when exactly this all took place, but everything seemed modern enough, so I would say this girl - me? - lived within the past few decades.