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Stalin's Silent Wrath

Mammatus

A Squid With a Rocketship
I finally had a PL dream last night, after trying for over a week. Anyway, this dream takes place during my PL in the USSR. It was the early late 40s, early 50s, several years after the end of WWII. Myself and several others I knew had been "summoned" so to speak, to speak with Stalin. We were being questioned about our involvment in some incident that I do not know what it was. It wasn't something really important, but it was important enough that Stalin wished to investigate personally.

I was in full uniform, sitting in a chair outside the room where Stalin had wished to speak with us. I'm bent over, by elbows on my knees, thoughts racing through my mind. What is he going to ask? What does he want? And more importantly, what is he going to do? I was the last one being questioned, waiting anxiously to be done and out of there. I had heard yelling in the room while another man was being questioned. Another, when he left, stared blankly ahead with a face paler than a ghost, while Stalin smiled "innocently", and gestured to the next man in line.

Finally, the man before me exited and rushed passed me without even giving me a glance. I took a deep breath and, trying to stay composed, walked into the room. Stalin was rearranging some items on a desk on the far wall from the door. He looks up, smiles, and walks over to greet me. I shook his hand, and tried to smile and seem calm, but it wasn't easy. This man -this murderer- was even more intimidating in person than he was when surrounded by Beria, bodyguards, the army, etc. And he was especially intimidating tonight.

He had me sit in a chair near a coffee table, and he sat across from me and started with small talk. How's the family? How's life? Job treating you well? I answered without being to obscure but without being too detailed. And trying not to lie. Everyone I knew that had ever come into contact personally with the premier had stated that it was impossible for them to lie. Because if they did, Stalin would know it.

Suddenly, the topic of the converstaion changed, as I had figured it would.

"What about your activities outside of your shift?"

I stared at him dumbfounded, trying to come up with something.

"The usual" I muttered. "Chores around my apartment, taking strolls through the city."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You're not at all being run around by Beria after hours?"

There was a tone of ominousity in his voice as he raised that question. Well of course I was. Sometimes he us out all night after our shifts were over. I knew Stalin already knew of this. Was he testing my loyalty? Was he testing me at all? I tried to think of the right words to say, as I watch his face contort into an expression of deep thought. Was he thinking of a punishment? You never could tell with the premier. His moods changed to often, and lately it was known that he had become increasingly paranoid that someone was out to get him. That someone was trying to topple his regime.

Suddenly, I knew what he was getting at. Was he under the impression that his right hand man was trying to take away his power? Was that why he had started keeping his distance from him?

"I, uh...."

"You don't know, then? How can you not know if it is you choosing your actions? Surely you're not sleep walking everywhere you go," he snapped, almost instantly. He stared at me, waiting for me to reply. I averted my gaze to the door instinctively, not thinking about how that could've cost me.

"You wish to leave?"

I glanced back at the premier. I didn't say anything, but the answer was in my eyes.

"Why? Aren't you enjoying our conversation?" he asked, calculating me.

I still didn't know what to say, so I did the best I could.

"Yes....." I muttered, he narrowed his eyes. He knew I was lying. Standing up, he ended the conversation.

"I will let you go. It seems you don't have much to say and it's getting late. I wouldn't want to keep you from attending to your other duties," he said, leading me to the door. I knew I was being watched. I would be watched. I bid him a good night and left, feeling his eyes on me as I wandered into the dark corridor and eventually, out of the building into the cold, Winter air.
 
According to several sources, prior to Stalin's death, he had become suspicious of Beria, and had organised several small scale purges that many believe were directed at Beria. It's also said that he was planning another large scale purge, but then he up and died in 1953, before he could carry out the purge (which the NKVD was typically involved in).


What's ironic about this is the fact that not long after Stalin died, Beria had attempted to organise a coup. It rendered itself unaffective, and he was arrested and tried for anti-government and anti-communist activities. Initially, his plan was to liberalise the policies of the USSR, in East Germany, and possibly pull out of East Germany.


After Beria was executed, policies in East Germany became even tighter and stricter, and I definitely believe his arrest was because certain rising "stars" per-say within the Communist party, felt that East Germany was a good way to bend the West to their will (Nikita Khrushchev himself once stated that when he wanted to "make the West scream", he "squeezed on Berlin").


What I'm wondering is if Stalin actually questioned Beria's bodyguards about their "after shift" activities, and what they were doing while running around with Beria (most party members, as well as the American government, knew that Beria ran around after hours, and usually made his guards come along as well).
 
I am quite interested in your Soviet recollections, not so much from the standpoint of Soviet History, but more from the viewpoint of someone remembering so many specifics of a possible past life. Certainly, it is understandable that someone could have such distinct memories, because those were surely some of the most fearful times, when no one knew who or what to be loyal to; for anyone could be damned for any unknown reason and their whole families, villages and entire ethnic group could be wiped out for no apparent reason. Certainly someone caught in the potent vice between two extremely powerful characters as Stalin and Beria could feel as though they were balancing on a sharp precipice with only one foot.


But, my question to you is how you came to realize that you were a character caught in such a dilemma. Was it sudden? Did it come to you in dreams? Were you always drawn to that period and place? How did you deal with such ideas in the face of your current background? Have you carried away any profound understanding or lessons that are of use in current life circumstances?
 
It's really a mixture of those things. I've always been drawn to that era, and some have called it an "obsession", although I've always said it wasn't. Then I was having dreams of these events and places. At first, I wanted to write it off as just being my imagination, since I read about that time period so much. But the feelings didn't go away. It really kind of dropped itself on me like a bomb when I started crying while reading a Cold War book , even though I had always "known".


As far as the ideas in my current background go, I try to stay out of conversations with people about it, considering I tend to get carried away and if I don't step lightly, I'll end up either breaking toes or getting emotional about it. I don't think they realise that when we were pledging loyalty to Russia, we were pledging loyalty to Stalin because Stalin was Russia. He was the Party. Stalin had promised us a lot of things, just like Hitler had promised Germany; and we had trusted him fully. Stalin lied to us, and by the time we realised it, he had run over the top of us and enslaved us. And anyone who was brave enough to do anything about it, got killed. And this is why I do not agree with anyone who would take Stalin over Putin. Yes, he turned the USSR into an empire, but it was for his gain and the expense of the common citizen. I love Russia, I really do. I still feel like I owe it some sort of debt. I can't go back and change the horrors and struggles that country has seen, and so I set my sights on the country I live in, because America is still young. I know one day that someone will try to do the same thing Stalin and Hitler did, only here. I feel as if I took on the duty to stop it before it gets out of hand. Almost like if I don't, that not only am I letting America down, but I'm letting Russia down as well. As if that's how I'm supposed to repay my debt to Russia. I was in a good place to stop what Stalin did, but out of fear, I didn't. And I think that is the biggest lesson I have to learn, is to not let fear for my own life stop me from saving the lives of an entire country.


As I once said, my choice has since become my necessity.
 
I don't know how you can take such responsibility upon yourself, since you were only a subaltern caught between two powerful actuators who, themselves, ended up crushed by the impersonal machine that they had helped to create. Stalin was poisoned by Beria, who himself ended up being executed, and the machine just kept on rolling over people for many years to come.
 
I don't really no how either. To be honest, it's unrealistic. But, I do give my unrealisticness credit for saving my life. If it hadn't been for that, I wouldn't be here today.


My thinking was pretty scattered yesterday anyway, so I kept changing things : angel


That feeling is going away though, the more I learn, think and theorise. So that's definitely a good thing. Now that I think about it, I am starting to realise that I blame myself for a lot of things and I'm very harsh on myself. That's probably where all these other issues, feelings, etcetera are coming from. Maybe once I work out that one big kink, everything else won't be an issue :thumbsup:


When I find anything else out about this PL, I will be sure to post it.
 
I know enough of Soviet History to also know that if you were in a situation between Stalin and Beria, you are also aware of the part you may have played in the many violent purges that went on, and that is a very heavy weight to bear. But, I can also tell you that we are all cogs in some giant wheel or another, which crushes others in its wake. That is the wheel of life and owning responsibility for one thing or another is unavoidable. We can try to avoid such involvement by becoming monks or going walkabout in the wilderness for the rest of our lives; but eventually we all find that life will find us in our hiding places and will make us responsible for something that we had no control over.


I could share with you my own story of guilt and responsibility, but I know that it won't make you feel any better about yourself. But I will say with complete conviction that one of the reasons we need to accept the premise that consciousness survives, is so that we can rid ourselves of guilt about the past and fear of the future. If we accept the past for what it is, we can allow ourselves to learn from our mistakes and put the past behind us, then forge ahead with courage into the future. Being harsh on oneself doesn't do service to the rest of us, because we are all connected. It's somewhat like cutting off one of our toes because of a hangnail. It cripples the rest of us.
 
Beautifully said, Nightrain, it is so true :)


I wanted to add something, but I think Nightrain has said it all so well. It is good that your belief in reincarnation has helped you during a difficult time, however, as was written above that was then - your life is now. You can't feel guilty of what "you" did (or didn't do) in a past life, because it wasn't you. From what I know of Soviet history the wheels of Stalin's regime drove steadily forward. Even if there were people, who wanted to change things (and Stalin wasn't popular - the inner party had hoped that Lenin had chosen someone else), it was impossible to do anything. Staling growing increasingly paranoid, the secret police being everywhere, innocent people were arrested on a wim. If your life was dear to you, you would have wanted to stay as much incognito as possible. So I completely understand why nothing happened and why Stalin was allowed to stay in his position until his death. Some would say it was cowardness, I would say they were clever, because they would never had succeeded in tipping him off the throne. Instead you would have ended your life in a prison or a gulag in Siberia, your name erased from the archives, your personal papers burnt, your family split up and imprisoned. Entire family were erased in this way. I can understand completely why so many chose to just be quiet. After all Stalin was just a man. He would die eventually.


What I'm trying to say is that instead of feeling guilty, try to understand why your past life persona made the choices he did. For you living in a free and democratic society his actions may seem cowardly, however his context was very different and you can't apply the same logic. For inspiration, look to North Korea.


:)
 
I understand how you feel. I too, was in a similar position. But because out of fear (Or perhaps, loyalty) I refused to do something. Anything, to lessen the burdens of the victims. And I believe I myself had sins from the past I'm trying to escape from.. That I'm paying now.


I am responsible for all of my crimes, in the past and now. And I can't do anything to change that, but I can use that and maybe one day, I can turn back on that person that was cowardly, that supported the wrong things and say 'I have beaten you. I'm not afraid of you any more. I won't run away from you. Now, begone!'


That's just my opinion though.
 
Sunniva said:
What I'm trying to say is that instead of feeling guilty, try to understand why your past life persona made the choices he did. For you living in a free and democratic society his actions may seem cowardly, however his context was very different and you can't apply the same logic. For inspiration, look to North Korea.


:)
Hmm. That makes sense. I'll get to working on that :thumbsup:
 
To avoide major confusion, prior to the creation of the NKVD (People's Commissariat for Internal Affairs), it was known as the Joint State Political Directorate or OGPU. The OGPU was formed out of the Cheka, and it's first chief was Felix Dzerzhinsky, the former chairman of the Cheka. The OGPU was reincorporated to the newly formed NKVD in July of 1934, becoming it's Main Directorate of State Security (GUGB). During 1941, GUGB was seperated from the NKVD into the NKGB, briefly merged and then reseperated in 1943.


The GUGB underwent it's final transformation into the KGB during the process of de-Stalinisation.


Due to the incessant change of organisation I thought I would clairfy that Department 1 in the GUGB was in charge of government protection; which was the Ninth Directorate's job after the organisation's transformation into the KGB.


This stuff isn't easy =='


Now....On with the show.....


I vaguely remember the reaction of several close family and friends when Stalin rose to power. I was getting ready to leave for "boot-camp", which had put a lot of stress on me and other members of the family.


My mother was a very big supporter of Lenin, and after he died, she cried for days and days (off and on of course). She used to deny that Lenin had actually died, insisting that it was a "sick joke that the counter-revolutionaries are playing". After a while, her denial faded, and life returned to almost normal. My father was rather apathetic about the whole situation, and my mother insisted that I get involved with the party. She was somewhat disappointed in my choice of state security, I guess she thought if I joined the party I'd be the next premier >.>


When Stalin rose to power, she repeatedly threw that in my face. Her denial started to return about the death of Lenin, which, thank god for me, I only heard about in letters. I'm starting to think that she had some sort of mental disorder. I can see the fanaticism from some people, but her...She was different.


From what I knew from letters, my father would leave for large portions of the day to "go to work" (I think he worked as a train conductor or mechanic, possibly. Which would explain why I was always at the train station when I was younger), which I believe was simply to avoid my mother's constant sulking. Part of it was that it was that time where all her kids got up and started out on their own(there were three of us, from what I can remember), and with my father rarely there, she became lonesome and melancholy.


My brother had become slightly paranoid after hearing about my appointment to Beria, and had begun warning me constantly in his letters, much to my annoyance. I was thankful though, that he cared so much. I do believe my brother was in the Red Army. My sister, well. I don't know what happened to her. She was the spunky one of the group, and had always angered my mother talking about "joining the army". At first, my mother thought she was talking about as a nurse or war medic. Turns out, not so much. However, I do not remember what happened to her.


I also remember that at the Yalta Conference, when the press had had their moment, I was able to shake hands briefly with Churchill, who was followed closely behind by Stalin, in the exit procession. I shook Mr. Churchill's hand rather too enthusiastically, to which Stalin gave me a mix of a threatening yet curious, look.


Not a look I presume anyone would want to get from him, of all people.
 
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