Mammatus
A Squid With a Rocketship
I finally had a PL dream last night, after trying for over a week. Anyway, this dream takes place during my PL in the USSR. It was the early late 40s, early 50s, several years after the end of WWII. Myself and several others I knew had been "summoned" so to speak, to speak with Stalin. We were being questioned about our involvment in some incident that I do not know what it was. It wasn't something really important, but it was important enough that Stalin wished to investigate personally.
I was in full uniform, sitting in a chair outside the room where Stalin had wished to speak with us. I'm bent over, by elbows on my knees, thoughts racing through my mind. What is he going to ask? What does he want? And more importantly, what is he going to do? I was the last one being questioned, waiting anxiously to be done and out of there. I had heard yelling in the room while another man was being questioned. Another, when he left, stared blankly ahead with a face paler than a ghost, while Stalin smiled "innocently", and gestured to the next man in line.
Finally, the man before me exited and rushed passed me without even giving me a glance. I took a deep breath and, trying to stay composed, walked into the room. Stalin was rearranging some items on a desk on the far wall from the door. He looks up, smiles, and walks over to greet me. I shook his hand, and tried to smile and seem calm, but it wasn't easy. This man -this murderer- was even more intimidating in person than he was when surrounded by Beria, bodyguards, the army, etc. And he was especially intimidating tonight.
He had me sit in a chair near a coffee table, and he sat across from me and started with small talk. How's the family? How's life? Job treating you well? I answered without being to obscure but without being too detailed. And trying not to lie. Everyone I knew that had ever come into contact personally with the premier had stated that it was impossible for them to lie. Because if they did, Stalin would know it.
Suddenly, the topic of the converstaion changed, as I had figured it would.
"What about your activities outside of your shift?"
I stared at him dumbfounded, trying to come up with something.
"The usual" I muttered. "Chores around my apartment, taking strolls through the city."
He raised an eyebrow.
"You're not at all being run around by Beria after hours?"
There was a tone of ominousity in his voice as he raised that question. Well of course I was. Sometimes he us out all night after our shifts were over. I knew Stalin already knew of this. Was he testing my loyalty? Was he testing me at all? I tried to think of the right words to say, as I watch his face contort into an expression of deep thought. Was he thinking of a punishment? You never could tell with the premier. His moods changed to often, and lately it was known that he had become increasingly paranoid that someone was out to get him. That someone was trying to topple his regime.
Suddenly, I knew what he was getting at. Was he under the impression that his right hand man was trying to take away his power? Was that why he had started keeping his distance from him?
"I, uh...."
"You don't know, then? How can you not know if it is you choosing your actions? Surely you're not sleep walking everywhere you go," he snapped, almost instantly. He stared at me, waiting for me to reply. I averted my gaze to the door instinctively, not thinking about how that could've cost me.
"You wish to leave?"
I glanced back at the premier. I didn't say anything, but the answer was in my eyes.
"Why? Aren't you enjoying our conversation?" he asked, calculating me.
I still didn't know what to say, so I did the best I could.
"Yes....." I muttered, he narrowed his eyes. He knew I was lying. Standing up, he ended the conversation.
"I will let you go. It seems you don't have much to say and it's getting late. I wouldn't want to keep you from attending to your other duties," he said, leading me to the door. I knew I was being watched. I would be watched. I bid him a good night and left, feeling his eyes on me as I wandered into the dark corridor and eventually, out of the building into the cold, Winter air.