3 year old with a vivid past

Discussion in 'Children's Past Lives -Age 7 & under' started by Ukwood, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. Blueheart

    Blueheart Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    71
    Desperate people will do desperate things.


    To clarify, I did not mean to imply any commentary on those living in poverty, or addicted to drugs, or what have you. I used the word horrible because that is how Steven views him.


    If Steven can not be convinced that the man is gone - is dead -(since it is clear that a part of him still adheres to "the old rules," and is looking for him behind locked doors, etc.) then, for Steven's own sense of safety and well being, I would try and establish a new Alpha in Steven's mind.


    And, as always, thanks Mama.
     
  2. TruvyShoes

    TruvyShoes Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    UK, thanks for sharing your son's story. You are an outstanding mother, I love the way you used "kind hands" to help him heal, I love the way you phrased that.


    I just had to mention a bit of synchronicity for me. yesterday I saw a news story about a horrible woman who had beaten her toddler son to death. Stories like these affect me greatly, as I am sure they do others, and I stopped to say a prayer for the sweet, innocent boy. I also asked God , "please show me children who are treated like this are eventually loved and are ok". I have been on a spiritual search to find out what I believe (over the past year I have read so many spiritual books & developed an interest in reincarnation after a vivid dream I had) & one real problem for me in believing in God or an afterlife is the senseless acts of violence that constantly occur toward children & other innocents in our world. But I am trying to believe and make sense of what I can. I find it very interesting that I had prayed for some answer that this other little boy is ok in an afterlife and the same day , I happened to read your specific story. It gives me hope that poor innocent babies can move on to have a warm, loving , wonderful childhood with loving parents. It doesn't answer for me why these things are allowed to happen to little ones-what your son went through is horrific, of course--but it helps me to believe their souls can find peace. thank you so much.
     
  3. Carol

    Carol Author

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 1997
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Media, PA
    Truvyshoes,


    I truly believe that if we are aware that we have multiple lives, rather than just one, we can make sense out of suffering and injustice, knowing that there is ultimately goodness and love. (At least, that's what I've seen and believe.)


    Your message is really beautiful.
     
  4. Ukwood

    Ukwood Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I haven't been on this site for a while. Thank you for your lovely posts. Truvyshoes, I am so pleased our posts answered your prayers. Steven was laughing at his sister in the bath tonight and he is so happy. I am so glad he gets to laugh this time round. He was very hurt before.


    Steven is still convinced that the horrible man will come in our house. He hasn't had nightmares for a while since talking about it and his conversations about it are getting less again. But I asked him what toys he would like to keep him safe. He has never been a fan of stuffed toys and never takes comfort in them like his sister. I suggested Sully and Mike from monsters inc. I told him that the horrible man will think they are real monsters, but we know that they are actually kind monsters and will keep him safe.


    So off to the Disney store we went this week and bought a lovely stuffed Sully and Mike. Steven has put them in his room and carries them around the house. He seems more as ease knowing they will protect him from the horrible man if he comes in our house.


    This week he was lying in our bed, and he said how dirty the horrible mans house was. He said sometimes he had to sleep in the bed with the horrible man and lady and how dirty the bed was. He said there were bees in the bed that stung him on his body and the bed was black it was so dirty. (Maybe fleas in the bed or bed bugs). I didn't ask any more questions as I am honestly afraid to ask about any bed situations. Every time I think we are getting use to this, he says something else. It takes me a while to probe as the answers are not always what you want to hear. It does affect us for weeks as we have to process what he says to us.


    Oddly since he has told us that he was stung all over his body, he got a strange rash all over his back and legs and it looked like tiny bites. He has bad skin, but it never looked like that before. It could be a coincidence.
     
  5. Ukwood

    Ukwood Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Blueheart


    I think that is sound advice. I will set rules, as this is our home and I will be firmer about the horrible man and women not coming into our home.


    I am also concerned that Seven thinks that the horrible man can still get to him. I will be firmer in my tone when I say he can't get in and show him the locked doors etc.


    Steven did say the monsters took them away too and they died. I will ask more when he speaks of it again.


    Someone also suggested to ask him if we can comfort Charmagne in anyway. Like does she need a cuddle or tell her we all love her, so Charmagne can heal in his mind. Find out what Charmagne needed. Or give her a cuddly toy to keep her safe.
     
  6. Carol

    Carol Author

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 1997
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Media, PA
    UKwood,


    These are all good ideas. It's good that Steven has some good monsters to protect and comfort him.


    It may not be a coincidence that this rash emerged on his legs after he talked about the bugs biting him in the bed before. Does the rash itch? Or is it just marks that appear like a rash? Just curious. Sometimes as past life memories emerge, symptoms will manifest in the body. Perhaps this is a way for his body to release some of the trauma from being in the dirty, bed-infested bed before. Please keep us posted on this.


    Everything else you're describing sounds very positive, as if he's really moving through the bad memories, slowly, in his own time. It really would be too much for him if these memories all came to the surface at once. He's releasing more and more over time.


    It seems that even though it takes time to process these comments, you're feeling more confident in knowing how to help him.
     
  7. ZeonChar

    ZeonChar Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2004
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Your story has been amazing and thank you for sharing it with us. I am glad that Steven is doing so much better. I think you are exactly what he needs to heal in this life and live fully.
     
  8. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2012
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Northern Calif.
    Has Steven ever talked about what Charmaine looked like? What color was her hair? What color was her skin? It will be interesting to hear his answers.
     
  9. sofiajt

    sofiajt Sofia

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Ukwood,


    I am totally convinced that at this age, there is no best therapist than you, as a mom. It´s 80% instinct, don´t you think? I think it´s also wonderful that we are learning from each other in this process (as well as from this forum´s friends and Carol, of course). I used your more active approach with my daughter, and it really helped!


    In regards to Steven´s "horrible man", there are a few things that helped my daughter deal with her own "papo":


    - insist to her that "el papo" is no longer here, that he can´t hurt her here. That daddy and mommy are here to take care of her, that she is the little one and can leave things in your hands.


    - we have also told her that "el papo" went away on a plane, really really far away, and can´t hurt her. She seems to like that and tens to repeat when scared, "There is no papo, he went away on a plane."


    - drawing a figure of the scene and scratching it or tearing the paper. I think she found that a bit cathartic. I certainly did.


    Also, my daughter has definitely expressed at different times physical pain on places where she was hurt, her arms, her legs, her right foot... They kind of come and go with the stories she tells. As per Carol´s book, giving her massages (we use hand cream, she really likes that) helps tons. They usually go away soon...


    And hang in there! It helps me to read your posts to know I´m not alone in this... It is so stressful and hard at times. It´s tiresome. It´s painful. But I do try to focus on the fact that our kids are letting out at a time that we can be there for them 100%, and not later when they will have to deal with "real life" on top of their past life...


    peace,


    sofia
     
  10. Ukwood

    Ukwood Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Steven has been doing so well since my last post and just to follow up.


    After I posted about his skin, I took some advice and before I applied his regular skin creams I told him that I am going to take my kind hands and make Charmagnes skin feel better with the cream. I kept repeating it as I rubbed the cream on his back and tummy where the bite like areas were. Overnight the bite like patches went away. He still had eczema, but with help of NAET and homeopathic treatment his skin is amazingly getting better. His face which looked like a burn mark, is completely clear and baby soft. His hands are still dry and rough after his 3 years of eczema and steroids, but sooooo much better.


    I also asked him how we can help Charmagne feel better. He replied all she needs to do is fall asleep. I asked more questions and when she slept she felt better from all the physical pain.


    This morning I was upstairs and I came down, and Steven had my phone playing games. I just gave him a busted you glance, as he wasn't suppose to have the phone. I walked out the room and he started crying. I asked him why he was crying. He couldn't tell me, so I said did Mummy shout at you and he said no, did Mummy hurt you and he said no. I asked why he was crying and he said because the horrible man will punch him in the face. So I said because you have the phone. He said yes, he would of punched him and punched him. So I held him and I reminded him that I am not ever going to hurt his body. I asked him for an example when mummy uses a cross voice, and he gave an example. I then said was Mummy correct at using her cross voice and he said yes. I then said and I would never do more than a cross voice and I would always be a good Mummy and keep him safe.


    The I remembered your post Sophia and I got the crayons out and the paper and drew the horrible man and woman scene in black. He described the cage again and we put Charmagne in with tears and everyone sad. I asked him what happened after the man hit him so much and he said he needed to sleep, so the pain would go away but then he died and went in the sky. So I drew his body in the sky. He then said with a big smile, then I came to you. So I drew a bright and happy picture of us with the dogs et. And I asked him what to draw on his face, he said a big smile.


    Then I told him to rip the horrible man up and the scene and throw it in the bin.


    He loved it and gave me a high five. He was so pleased. I don't think these make it go away, but it makes it go away for today and we have another way to go on.


    I also had a thought that I don't ever want him doing this to anyone else. So I tookk his hands and I put them on my cheeks and said you must also only use kind hands when you touch somebody and I gently used his hands to stroke my face. He agreed and repeated what I said. I think I am going to do more of that moving forward. He is a very gentle boy with his friends and sister, but if it is so deep in his mind/soul, I would never want that coming to the surface when he has his own family one day. I want to I instil kindness right now, not just on us but anyone.


    One other thing he says. We sang a silly song about our family and we put our last name in the song. He kept saying another last name in its place. We thought it was funny, but it could be his past last name. I won't put it on here, as if his other family are about, they may link it.


    Thank you for this amazing forum, it's good to have a place to go to just write it down and tell someone.
     
  11. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2012
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Northern Calif.
    Thank you for the update. It sounds like he is improving and you are doing all of the right things. This is such an amazing story.
     
  12. Blueheart

    Blueheart Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    71
    So glad to hear things are getting better!
     
  13. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2014
    Messages:
    265
    Likes Received:
    222
    Location:
    Northern mid-west US
    What a lovely way to help him heal and prevent carrying that past into the future. I'm so glad he found you to help him through all this!
     
  14. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2006
    Messages:
    444
    Likes Received:
    232
    Location:
    Australia
    Great news! So glad to hear he seems to be healing so well.

    I loved this. I think this is a great technique.
     
  15. Ukwood

    Ukwood Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you for your replies. Sophia gave me this idea and it is really great for Steven as he can't draw yet.


    Steven seems to have a day when he gets sad by a trigger and then talks. So yesterday the cell phone was the trigger for him remembering the horrible mans anger and today he was eating his breakfast and thinking and then spoke again. It was all quiet in the house as his sister was still sleeping.


    He said my name is now Steven and then he said his middle and surname. I took it as an opportunity to ask. What was your name, what did the horrible man call you. He said Charmagne and the surname he sang about. Just like that he said it. So I have his first name and last name.


    He then ate his breakfast and said I was hungry and the horrible man and horrible lady didn't even give me a snack. So I asked a bit more and he said he was so hungry and he went to find some food. The horrible man found him eating the food and didn't like it, so he hit him with a bat. He said 'my' and then he corrected himself and said Charmagnes body was so sore, she went to her cage to rest so the pain would go away. Then I died and went to the sky. He said he didn't see anyone in the sky but one day he was standing across the road from our current house and he came to me. Then he said he didn't like it in my tummy, he wanted to get out. ( he always repeats this but couldn't tell me why. He was born 4 week early much to the consultants surprise as I had a check in the morning and he wasn't even near the birth canal).


    He told me it was too dark and he didn't like it, so he came out. He didn't mention monsters.


    He then said how he likes his breakfast and that I have food in the cupboards. He said he likes me cleaning the house because the horrible mans house was so dirty and he tried to pick up things, but the horrible lady would shout at him.


    He described the toilet as being really dirty and when he sat on it, it was full of bugs that bit him. I tried to ask more but he just said 'I don't want to talk anymore'.


    This can only be true, as how can a little boy, who has had no sight of such horrible things know all of this information in detail. Poor little Charmagne. I am guessing that is why the bat held such terror for him when he first saw it. That could have been the final beating before his little body couldn't take anymore. He speaks of being punched in the face and back etc. but he never said where the bat came into it, apart from last Summer when the bat triggered all of this
     
  16. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2006
    Messages:
    444
    Likes Received:
    232
    Location:
    Australia
    Poor little boy/child!! I'm so glad he's safe now. You're doing a great job.


    Blessings
     
  17. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2012
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Northern Calif.
    If they had a cell-mobile phone this must have all happened in the last 10 or 12 years. No wonder he remembers so much detail.
     
  18. Alona

    Alona Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2012
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kiev, Ukraine
    In mid-1990’ mafia gangsters in the post-Soviet countries widely used baseball bats to torture people. Almost every “bandit” had used to have a baseball bat in the trunk of his car. A lot of gangsters have also taking drugs.


    Cage might be a prison cell, as bandits sometimes have cooperated with police and often detained their victims in temporary holding facilities.
     
  19. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2012
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Northern Calif.
    If you read further back, when his mother was looking at pictures of playpens on google he shouted "cages!" and scrolled through and found a picture of an octagon shaped playpen with no bottom and said "That's my cage".
     
  20. sofiajt

    sofiajt Sofia

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dear Ukwood,


    I'm so happy your boy is doing so much better, but also that the drawing thing helped! It brought tears to my eyes. We are so lucky we came into this together and have been able to help each other. My daughter is also doing better (just posted an update). One day at a time, right?


    big hugs,


    sofía


    Ps: Amazing to read about Charmagne and your boy's need to keep food close. My daughter also went through a short starvation period when she was in prison and therefore always eats everything on her plate. Food is very important to her. And water. Always has to keep water by her bedside.
     

Share This Page