A Chinese "goddess?" Living backwards?

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Mere Dreamer, Mar 24, 2014.

  1. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    So, I have a new guide, Omer, who is teaching me how to access Akashic records. He took me in "his way" via the "fields of knowledge" which is a gorgeous method. We started standing tall in a flower-filled field, then shrunk down to below the height of the grass to follow a specific path between the roots to end up walking out of a bamboo grove and into a past life we had shared long ago.

    Either he was very short, or I was very tall because I was looking down on his half-shaved head below my shoulders. When he looked up at me, he had a skinny, split mustache and a narrow little beard on his chin. Quite the interesting combo. He said he prefers other styles these days, but back then it gave him confidence? *shrug*

    I was dressed like a gilded red, pink, orange, yellow? ornament ... very loud garments and the hair to match. I felt it was very unique in that time that I could stride along "like a man" with complete freedom, autonomy, and strength, and Omer told me it was because I was considered to be a "goddess" by the people. :eek:

    He was my assistant, and back then I trained him to access the records, help, and heal others? He says he's just returning the favor by refreshing my memory now that I've finally woken up from "the difficult path" from which he thought I might not recover?

    This is very interesting, because apparently it's possible to "lose our self-awareness" for a span of lifetimes, somehow. Not sure about the betweens, since I haven't actively remembered yet. But apparently I'm supposed to have gained something from the process. I feel like I'm not even up to where I once was ... apparently?

    We dropped into the library the usual way and I found out how my Japanese life ended ... which was pretty ... dismal. I'll post about that in this thread later, but all the lives I've viewed so far fit together in this pattern of love and dependence and figuring out who provides for me spiritually, emotionally, and financially.

    It's like this "goddess" life is the transition from "being enough" into "needing something" ... I wonder if I did it on purpose, or if I made a bad choice somewhere?... hmmm ... might be why I hold a history of fearing being "known by strangers" and instantly pity famous people? *speculating* cover face
     
  2. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I feel pity for famous people, Dreamer, because every mistake they make is brutally exposed to the public eye. If you were a "splendid personage" in China, you may have had to live as a goddess who "fell from grace". It's interesting to see your Asian memories develop. Are they connected to the man in Kabuki make-up?


    In Nepal, there are children called "Kumari" who are still worshipped as goddesses. They are prepubescent girls who meet certain criteria, and are temporarily elevated to goddess status until they reach puberty. I don't know if China and Japan had similar customs in ancient times.


    I recently met a new Asian guide myself. His name is "Chin", and he is a healer, and practitioner of holistic medicine. He is quite tall, beautiful, and has never spoken to me, but I am very grateful for his services! I wonder if your guide and mine are acquainted? ;)
     
  3. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    No, in the Kabuki glimpse I'm pretty clearly a man. From the collected glimpses so far, I seem to have served in some mountainous area ... possibly a large island, from what I saw today.


    It isn't the first I encountered, but in the earliest memory of that particular life I'm about to enter the service of "my master" ... I show up at an exterior gate with my sword in hand, then kneel and lay it on the ground in front of me ... feeling so nervous and at-risk that I can hardly stand it. Someone comes along and leads me inside, but I can hardly look up from their heels, and all I see is the path, bordered by plants. Then I'm looking at this raised floor area with a sliding door.


    I have quite a lot of memories on my knees with my hands on the floor in front of me and my face over my hands. Lots of cobblestones. Heh!

    • I look up to see a beautiful woman in a kimono and gorgeous hairstyle approaching along the path and feel guilty for looking at her, even though I know she doesn't mind and finds it flattering. She looks down on me with affection, so to speak, like a pet or something. I think I'm in the household gardens.
    • Another seems to be at a temple, based on red pillars and gilding beneath the uptilted corners on the roofline. In this one I see a geisha I very much admire approaching down the path from the temple platform.


    I also remember being with my master in a stone-lined hot spring with a cliff to one side, fire or torches, and a stone floor. He's very affectionate toward me, and I'm feeling privileged. My attitude toward him is that of a servant to his god ... he could do anything or ask anything and I'd go along with it. Very worshipful and dependent.


    Another glimpse, practicing with the sword. I can almost follow those motions, now ... I'll have to try it one of these days, because I think my muscles know the pattern.


    Then there are several "walking the land" glimpses, where I follow a man with long, flowing black hair (I assume it's my master) who I love and admire deeply. I see him against various scenery and backdrops, like a forest and sunset/sunrise ... as if we travel or journey together as part of our lifestyle. It might be something so simple as checking his various properties/responsibilities?


    On one of these out-and-about glimpses, looking out over a field with yellow flowers, I see him in what seems to be kabuki face paint. He's wearing black and his hair is down enough to flow in the wind behind him. This is the one with the phrase I "overheard" ...


    I have a relationship with the geisha, too, it seems. I know my master would be angry, but we are a safe place for each other ... equals. (And I was blatantly invited ... heh.) I'd say this relationship was love and admiration rather than blind worship, and much healthier for me, it turns out.


    In my final glimpse, I watch my master leap off a cliff beside the ocean to end his life, knowing I'm meant to kill myself immediately after him so he doesn't have to die alone ... and I do it!!! ... even though my beloved geisha is waiting for me and I have everything I need to make a successful life for myself if I live. I decide to take my sword and ... die the traditional way.


    Yay for sharp blades? No wonder I hate using knives!


    I'm noticing how in all my lives I'm desperately trying to keep or gain something ... love, stability ...
     
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  4. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Ah! My friend (who deeply researches Japanese history) has given me feedback on the whole "offering of the sword" element. She mentioned that the precise position of the sword would mean something, but wouldn't say more about it for fear of changing what I'd see ... so I went in to meditate on that moment later and paid attention to the sword as I envisioned the moment.


    My glimpse


    -------------


    I am walking up to a building. impressive entrance. there is an extending roof out over the entry with a peak. tile … I stop just outside the covering. I am nervous. I kneel. My sword is … in my hand, laid flat along the ground across in front of me with the point toward my left hand and the hilt to my right. the sharp blade is curved away from me …


    I am thinking of letting go and leaving it there … I’m not sure if it’s in its scabbard? Maybe it’s just the blade, but it feels very bound up and limited.


    feet approach … white … I am being judged. the day is dreary and dim, clouded. I feel … risking humiliation.


    A hand on my … shoulder or head … I feel relief


    my hands are empty as I follow … I still have not looked at this person … only at the ground.


    black doors. opening heavy a cobbled path … I am following the feet in front of me. plants to either side


    I am told to wait, I think… a sliding door and a raised floor I kneel again.


    ---------------------


    our conversation about the scene this evening


    -----------------------


    Me - I get the impression that it was tied somehow, and I was offering it without knowing if my offer would be accepted.


    It was the symbol of my ... surrender/intent to serve ... and I'm not sure which. I clearly went on to serve him in a trusted role.


    Mica - Ok, it should be like this: covered or bound sword is somehow dishonored sword. Offering it to someone with blade out toward that person should meant: I'm putting myself fully at your mercy in my dishonor, you chose what to do with me, whether I live or die or serve... Something like that.


    And if master would pull the blade out of its handle, it meant the complete dishonor that should be followed with the ritual of suicide. If master would take it to his knees it would mean: I'm taking you into service. And if he would return the sword to sheathe and to its owner, it would mean: I forgive you your crimes, but you are not fit to be my servant, etc.


    I think I love the way your master used to think, as he clearly accepted


    Me - Seriously? that fits right in with my emotional state at the time, that's for sure. I wondered where the sword had gotten to as I followed my avatar through the gate. LOL it's hard to talk about myself and myself ... because I'm both feeling what he felt ... and thinking to myself "what is going on?"


    -------------------


    Also, it was traditional for samurai and especially shogun's to wear their hair long (only samurai had to sort of pack it for battle) and usually loose when at home, between late 16th and early 18th century. :cool
     
  5. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Mica got all excited when I mentioned the goddess thing, so apparently there's a precedent. She refused to tell me about it, though, because she likes seeing what I come up with from memory first. :p
    Hmm ... I should ask. ;)
     
  6. kmatjhwy

    kmatjhwy Senior Member Staff Member

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    Mere Dreamer, it is interesting to read of these new memories of yours. There does seem to be a thread developing with some of your lives that you have mentioned here in the forum. Now I thought that as interesting about that fall from awareness or lack of self-awareness that you envisioned.


    Wishing You the Best!
     
  7. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    As kMatjhwy posts, it does seem to be important to remember why your soul once had awareness, and then it was lost. Do you have any sense of chronological order to these memories? On casual observation, neither life seems to hold dishonor. I was mistaken about your "Kabuki" memory, and was envisioning you as a woman.
     
  8. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    From what I can tell, in the "goddess" life I was very aware of who I was ... like the children people speak of, here. I just took off with whatever spiritual development I brought with me, so to speak.


    It looks like I was born the daughter of a rice? farmer to begin with, but very early on I caught the scene of waiting for "the people who would come to take me with them." I was standing up on the side of a hill and saw them coming around the corner. My family didn't believe me, of course, but I knew. (Later it occurred to me that I knew just what to do and say to start rumors that would reach the right people to find me with their own methods of search.) I realized it was even more people than I had thought, and hurried back to our thatched, stone hut to meet them. My little sister was peeking around the door-frame, barely able to walk yet, and I realized she would miss me.


    Then I was in a temple with a massive statue that had what looked like a halo, a half-moon, a red dot on the forehead, pudgy face, meditating. There was a beam of light directed in front of it, and I was standing there in some form of loose pants and partially translucent fabric sleeves with a braid down my back.


    During a ceremony later "to remove a curse" at some small town, I had some form of fire in front of me ... maybe incense? and a rattle-thing with two balls that spun around and slapped into the center. I was glowing, somehow, and the people said I had wings of light? (That part seemed rather strange.)


    I knew that all the ceremony and show was just to help the people believe differently, because the only thing that allowed the curse to touch them was the fact that they believed it could hurt them.
     
  9. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    Your memories sound very like the Nepalese Kumari, although they remain with their families. I think the name of the film is " The Living Goddess". It was made in 2008, and is available on Netflix. I'm sure it would be a "trigger" for your memory. I think it is very strange that I was drawn to watch that documentary last week. Another odd synchronicity?:eek:
     
  10. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hmm ... I should look it up.


    I think this particular "goddess" traveled around from place to place, from what I can tell?
     
  11. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    The red dot that you were wearing seems to be more related to India and Nepal, than China. When you described your avatar, the three girls in the film came to mind. Without an historical reference point, it's hard to say what the custom may have been, and boundaries change a great deal. I think you should try to see the film at some point, unless you feel it would invalidate future memories. There are women in Nepal who stay in the role of Goddess for a lifetime, although it isn't the norm. I am very far from an "expert" on the ancient Orient.
     
  12. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I went over my notes and laughed, because when I asked Omer where we were with the "goddess" life, he specifically told me, "A place that no longer exists, and it doesn't matter anyway."


    I promptly decided it must be China based on his hairstyle, and he just shrugged and let me say whatever I wanted. It's definitely not Japan.


    When I discussed the whole "coming to collect me" scene, he told me it's similar to what they do with the Dalai Lama. I'm pretty sure I was taken from my family, though, because he clearly said, "they essentially sold you."


    Oh, dear ... that just makes me more curious, now, and I don't have Netflix....
     
  13. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Oh, I should clarify that it was the statue with the red dot on its forehead, not me. I was also allowed to walk instead of being carried around.
     

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