A Japanese Samurai

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Mere Dreamer, May 6, 2014.

  1. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Since this life keeps showing up, I guess it's about time to make a thread to track it.... As usual, when I meditate I keep my fingers on my laptop keyboard and type whatever comes along. Often it's nothing at all or some insight about present-day troubles. Yesterday I had a detailed glimpse into my samurai avatar's childhood.

    ---

    I am playing in a field. My hands are full of roots. and I am waving the stems like a sword. Laughing muddy … dodging each other. My foot slips and I fall in the mud. My friends run off laughing and I realize someone won't be happy at the state I’m in when I get back.

    I go back to …It is raised on stilts … a low platform a couple feet off the ground with pillars ... and a grass roof? open sided. Maybe just a large open space with apartments off to the back half. rooms… hmm… mostly it's an open deck of some sort. (I haven’t found an online photo that reminds me of it yet.) There is an impression of other buildings, but not many.

    I approach from the side up the less used trail. My hands are dripping muddy water because I tried to wash myself n a ditch.

    I feel afraid. There is a dark shadow … Someone snatches at me and I duck a sword coming down toward my face. Someone catches me and rolls with me … (or knocks me rolling I can’t tell.) The wind is knocked out of me. I can’t breathe as the men fight silhouetted against the sky. (I have a really clear look up their bodies … the very wide hat brims, the armor silhouetted and then close up.)

    One stumbles back. His armor has knobs all over it ridges …. a wide brim on the helmet …. (The wider hat in this photo is closer to the silhouette from the back. I didn’t see the ornaments. But the full black armor has bumps like the ones I saw. )
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    I edge back under the house. There is heat. It is on fire. I make it across and run into the brush on the other side, away from the fighting.

    My back hurts and it is hard to breathe. I’m wearing some sort of loose tunic It’s tied up or short enough so I can run easily. muddy and wet. I don’t go too far. I want to know what happened. I circle around and look for something to climb. Black smoke against the sky. The sounds of battle … now fading. I end up crawling through the tall grass, carefully. It is like a game we play where we move without being seen, and I’m good at it, so I’m confident I won't be noticed by the fighters.

    A samurai is sitting binding up his arm. He looks tired. dark feet … some white spattered with mud and blood, lots of red and black and metal parts. He looks up toward me and I look away quickly so he won’t feel my gaze.
    ………………..

    I am in a cart, jostling. My side hurts and it’s hard to move. I was caught by someone. I don’t even know if they were the ones who attacked us or if they tried to protect us Nobody else survived? My whole world has ended. I want to protect myself from now on … I want to be strong.

    (edit: updated missing image links from pinterest)
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2018 at 3:15 PM
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  2. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    ……… coffee ……….


    forward a few years.


    I’m filling out … a teen, now become a man. I’ve been training to fight. They taught me … the ones who picked me up on that day. I don’t care who they are so long as they teach me to fight. I use a bow, also. Better than with a sword. Archery takes stillness. I like the deep concentration it takes. I can fall into a trance with the sword also, moving freely through the … Kenton?…


    The men are rowdy and wild. They treat me like a child. Some are cruel, but others are kind. I know who to avoid.


    I sleep on a mat in a large room with many others. I am lonely in the dark and often go out, careful not to wake anyone, and stare at the moon.


    A hand on my shoulder. It is my mentor. He stands behind me saying nothing and then eventually leaves, nudging me to return to my bed. His hair is white in the moonlight. I’m worried because his hand felt frail.


    I have not yet been asked to fight, though the men go out in groups and return from time to time boasting or angry depending on the result. The compound is large, and I’m a very small person among them all.


    One day my mentor clutches his chest and falls. I hurry to his side, but he isn’t fully aware. I carry him to the doctor. He shakes his head gravely There is nothing to be done. He was old. He is scarcely breathing and wants to talk to me. I bend low. “Leave this place. Find a master to your liking and serve him well.” … I’m shocked. Why would I leave the only home I know?


    I am sent away from my mentor’s side.


    Soon I realize he was always protecting me. Things are much more difficult without him around.


    I earn my first sword. They party with me, but then while drunk, they begin to come after me.… I run away. I didn’t drink as much as they did and I get to my hideout … up in the top of the roof on a ledge under the peak. They can’t find me there. I realize that I’m going to have to find my own way, but it is against the rules to leave.


    I volunteer to help with a supply run. Maybe I can learn something at the market city. I see a shogun (edit: more likely a daimyo) there. He is graceful and polite, not arrogant like most of them. He doesn’t just run people over. He reminds me of my mentor.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2018 at 2:32 PM
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  3. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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  4. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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  5. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Pulling everything from random threads, so some of it is out of order ... oops?

     
  6. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    An element of xenoglossy. I keep getting these snips. It's really frustrating not to know the language enough to even begin to figure out if they make any sense or are just nonsense.


    --------


    Spent an hour running everything and it's similar sounds through a Japanese-English dictionary. I'm not confident it would make sense if you spoke this to someone, but it's all words?

    My inner nudge has been saying "Japan" since the beginning, which is why I'm so persistent about researching from that angle.


    I'm sitting here laughing at my inept "translation" ...


    woman ... a seductive move to indoctrinate ... Rumi as a pass-time after childbirth ... the extent of the corruption ... Sir Seto.


    Hah! It's all wrong, of course, but I feel like I've done all I can so I'm going to think about other things.
     
  7. tanguerra

    tanguerra Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Great work MD. You have a lot of information!


    I'm intrigued by your master wearing Kabuki make up. At first it would certainly seem bizarre, but Kabuki was certainly 'all the rage' at this time and they would put on plays about current issues, including the doings of the Samurai class.


    http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/309298/Kabuki

    Is it possible that your master had been training the Kabuki performers in martial arts (to make their performance more realistic) and just for fun, they'd painted his face? Or, perhaps in some other way he was patronising a Kabuki troupe? You said above that you knew what was 'going on' at the time. Perhaps more will come to light in time.
     
  8. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I based my assumption about the man in that particular glimpse being my master based on the emotional reaction to his presence. I've realized that there was a male geisha who also provoked a similar reaction ... and it seems they were the ones who were the artists and dramatists of the time. It wasn't a detailed enough glimpse to be certain, but it would clarify the situation a little if that particular glimpse was associated with the geisha.


    Although ... wealthy and powerful men have always done whatever they want. If he was into kabuki ... who knows?
     
  9. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I think I might have finally resolved the confusion over the "male geisha" and it fits with the kabuki face paint element in these memories, also.


    [​IMG]

     
  10. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


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    The above images remind me a lot of the location of my childhood memory, with the building I crawled under to escape the battle.


    The sword was quite curved, like the Kamakura and Muromachi styles in this overview of Japanese blade history, and was about the length of my arm or a little shorter.


    [​IMG]


    Original Site


    This is similar to the building in which the young teen slept in rows among the military types, especially the narrow, raised walkway along the front where he sat when he couldn't sleep.


    [​IMG]


    After a ton of research, I still can't find the style of overhang on the entry where I requested a new master. This is a shrine, but it has some similarities, specifically the peak pointing toward the path coming up to the gate, with a wall on either side. It threw a strong shadow over the entrance.


    [​IMG]


    This is another possibility, though I remember the gate as being more pointed, instead of curved.


    [​IMG]


    Also, the relationship with the master seems to have cultural precedent. Wikipedia link

    How I reacted and felt during those memories matches this description for the most part. (It seems creepy from a modern perspective, but seemed very desireable from my PL perspective.)
     
  11. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Congratulations. I think this validates your memories. :)
     
  12. ZeonChar

    ZeonChar Senior Member

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    You really have a lot of detail, I'm impressed! I'm glad you compiled it all into one thread for easier reading. It was fascinating for me to read through all of this as I also feel very drawn to Japan and the Tokugawa period. Please share more when you can.
     
  13. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    It seems creepy to us because of Christianity and their homophobic and puritanical attitudes. It was not always this way. The rest of the world is not like us.
     
  14. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Holy smoke ... I just found this entry on Taikomochi ... I've been confused all along because early on in the memory sequence I encountered someone who I knew was a geisha, only later to realize that he was a man. It threw me off balance and I've been questioning my memory all this time.

    Wiki - The Japanese version of the jester, these men were once attendants to daimyo (feudal lords) from the 13th century, originating from the 'Ji Sect of Pure Land Buddhism', which focused on dancing. These men both advised and entertained their lord and came to be known as doboshu ('comrades'), who were also tea ceremony connoisseurs and artists. By the 16th century, they became known as otogishu or hanashishu (story tellers), where they focused on story telling, humour,conversation. They were sounding boards for military strategies and they battled at the side of their lord.

    Memory/timeline notes:
    (The later memories all feel similar, so I'm not sure what order they are in aside from the obvious.)
    • Playing with friends among reeds and grass, getting home to find it under attack.
    • Watching men fight from under the raised floor of a house with open walls.
    • Crawling into a field after the building catches fire and the men fight too close.
    • My (not yet) mentor injured and falling from his horse near me.
    • I went to help him in the midst of the battle, pulled off his helmet to check his wounds.
    • Stolen/rescued by my first mentor from the battlefield as a child after watching my home burn. Waking in the cart.
    • Sitting in the moonlight on a narrow wooden porch after crawling out of a room full of sleeping men. My white-haired mentor fondly sends me back to bed.
    • Being protected by my mentor among the soldiers until he collapsed in the street and later died.
    • Endangered/attacked by the other men, and hiding up in the roof where they can't find me.
    • Fleeing "dishonorably" with my sword and searching for a new master I could respect.
    • Seeing my (future) master on the street, finding him admirable/recognizing him? and following him home to offer my services.
    • Waiting outside a huge gate with a peak.
    • Kneeling and offering my bound sword.
    • Being taken in by my master and given a position of personal service to him.
    • Seeing a geisha on a pathway inside the enclosed garden (who turns out to be male) and being attracted but afraid to look.
    • Going to a building with red pillars and peaked corners and waiting for the geisha to walk by ... also my master.
    • Kneeling/bowing with my hands on the floor ... a lot. Feeling like this is normal.
    • A sexual encounter with the master in a hot spring. Practically worshipping him.
    • Following my master on foot across fields and hills, helping him check on his lands.
    • Carrying a sword and training with it inside an enclosed room, but no memory of fighting in battle (yet).
    • My master? (or someone I deeply love, trust, and admire) wearing kabuki makeup in a field.
    • My second love is the master's geisha. Our relationship is a secret.
    • Drums, especially the deeper sort, "resonate" with me... pun or not.
    • Memory of a miko dancing on a stage wearing white with red.
    • Meeting an herbalist after the ceremonial dance (also a dear friend).
    • The herbalist prepared a dangerous concoction for my master and warned me to be careful with it.
    • Resting, ill, on a bedroll on a wooden floor, looking out through a sliding door across a narrow porch and into a garden.
    • At some point following my master off a cliff into the ocean, literally.
    • Our deaths had something to do with a white mask and blades.
    • I immediately regret (after death) leaving the possible future with my geisha behind when I followed my master as honor demanded.
     
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  15. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    An interesting point came up during my meditation this evening on how past lives can reflect each other in unique ways.

    As an Inca chaski (message runner) I witnessed the sacrifice of a young woman I truly cared about. She was pushed off a cliff into a chasm to appease the gods. It apparently disillusioned me completely and I spent the rest of that lifetime resenting religion. I also chose not to return among the Inca because of it as well.

    Soon after (or possibly the next life, however that is calculated) I chose to serve in Japan in part because I wanted to experiment with mirroring the experience of my friend in the previous life. It wasn't the same scenario, but part of the reason I ended my life the way I did seppuku + cliff into the ocean as an act of service and a religious ritual was a direct result of reflecting on the sacrifice I'd witnessed and creating a similar experience for myself.

    Basically, I wanted to explore the experience of a cultural sacrifice-to-the-death pattern even though I disagreed with that belief system. It wasn't enough to witness my friend accepting that path, I needed to experience it for myself.

    *shakes head* Given this internal programming it's probably a good thing I'm not a scientist. I'd probably mix chemicals that have already proven to be explosive just to see it happen myself. At least with philosophy it's more internal and less likely to destroy the ceiling.

    Sidenote: I was discussing how we gather information and what it means to have an internal library of personally gathered wisdom (based on experience, not second-hand). They were explaining how I take in information as it is presented by others, then basically hold it in the center of my "library" and look to see if any of the information I've gather among all my lives resonates with it.

    If nothing resonates, I tend to discard it right off or set it aside to experiment with later. If it does resonate even slightly, then I (subconsciously, until now) compare lifetimes of experience with the idea and gradually filter out what is useful and what isn't worth keeping.

    This is how we reached the topic of the Japanese life, since I pointed out that it didn't make sense that I'd kill myself for no reason that time if that was the case, because they were saying that the process of filtering against previous experience is why I'm alive now (in this life). Dying then didn't resonate with the deeper wisdom I had accumulated, either.

    They also mentioned that I make a practice of cutting each life's avatar off from that resource (my own library of experience) early on in life, then jump in and live that way to see if I find my way back to it. It seems I usually manage to reconnect to some extent.

    We also had a long debate over whether it's better to push the world forward toward spiritual growth or wait for people to ask for help. Apparently one of my guides is of the "push them forward" mindset, while I tend to be more of the "you have to wait till they're already trying or it won't help" mindset ... which actually fits with my conclusions on an individual level, too. He told me he wishes I wouldn't just keep letting the world go on as it does naturally, instead of making waves and trying to fix things. He pointed out my disillusionment in ritual in my "goddess" life, but I just did the rituals anyway instead of trying to convince people it was their faith, not the ritual that helped them. He thought I should have spoken up.

    That being said, it seems we have a bet of some kind, and that I agreed to help out with some complicated plan we developed together as a life option to help move the world toward a healthier spiritual state if he could convince me that the world is actually ready for that kind of assistance. Heh. I told him random people would listen more eagerly to what I already share if they felt the need for it, but since I don't have people begging me to advise them he's probably not getting what he wants this time. He's still convinced he can prove it to me in time for the plan to work.

    It's interesting if it's true, though, because it would mean I have multiple life trajectories available to choose from and that I don't tend to rigidly plan events like some people seem to do. Also, that I experiment on myself in each life, testing various aspects of how I reconnect to my spiritual side in a single lifetime and what effect it has on each life.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
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  16. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky

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    WoW! I love this post. It resonates with a lot inside me. I’ll reread it more times, because There are so many bells ringing in my ears...

    Edit: you were talking with your guides during your meditation?
     
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  17. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I have casual conversations with them all the time. At some point I figured out how to slip into a kind of half-meditative state where I can sense their gestures and anything else they want to send without completely losing track of where I am. I do it pretty routinely these days.
     
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  18. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky

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    I recognise the kind of discussions. I am also the ‘passive’ one. Untill now I’ve never been willing to step forward. Several years ago I had a new female guide and she tried to speed me up. Untill she gave up.

    That’s one of the many bells that rang Reading your post.
     
  19. Spirit Sword

    Spirit Sword Active Member

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    Have you narrowed down a specific time period yet? You originally seemed to be leaning towards the Muromachi period, but then swerved into the Tokugawa period with the kabuki. Have you considered looking at descriptions of historical events and seeing if anything resonates with you?

    I was a late Heian samurai myself, so I cannot help too much as you seem to have lived after my time. However, certain cultural elements remained the same.

    The kind of architecture you seem to be stuck on is called Shinden-Zukuri. This was the dominant style in my time and many important buildings remained in this style for centuries (I believe it was revived once or twice as well). Residential buildings tended to be in more muted colors while temples were often bright reds and greens with gilding.

    You mentioned serving the shogun in your time. Depending on which shogunate you served under, you may want to look into historical locations in either Kyoto or Kamakura. The two that I know are Tsurugaoka Hachimangū in Kamakura and Byōdō-in in Kyoto.

    Do you know how you were wearing your sword? Apparently, in different periods there were different ways. Was it tucked into a sash, or hanging loose at your side? Was the curve up or down?

    Beyond that, I do not think I can do anything else aside from basking in the similarities of our lifetimes. Many of the events and elements in your posts are similar to those I have found in my own past life, down to the connection to performers (a Shirabyoshi dancer in my case) and the...er...traditional ending.
     
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  20. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I'm holding the memories lightly and trying not to force everything to fit. Every once in a while something new will show up, and I don't want to "call it" without more offline research. There's a chance I'm dealing with more than one lifetime as well, though I think most of what I shared links together as a single lifetime it's hard to say for sure. The one element of which I'm very confident (as far as historical research on who I served) is the way my master died. So far I haven't found anyone who fits that particular profile.

    Some of the terms I use like "shogun" may be my modern-foreigner impressions of a possible title. My master definitely held some kind of powerful position that included a large area of land and power over the people on it, but I'm still questioning whether the actual term that came to mind was random association or an actual memory/word. My impressions of him are definitely rooted in the perspective of who I was back then, so for all I know I idealized some local lord as if he was king of the universe. At least locally and in the areas where he traveled he was respected and had acknowledged authority.

    I'm not even certain whether I qualified as "samurai" or if I just had enough sword training to carry a blade in an army of some kind. It doesn't feel like I did much actual fighting, aside from routine training and possibly friendly challenges to build skill. I haven't ever remembered actually wearing full armor, though as a child the warriors who fought and destroyed my home were definitely wearing such items.

    My primary role had more to do with acting as a body servant, errand runner, representative, companion, etc. I wasn't important "as myself" even if I remember being with my master most of the time. In all my memories of interacting with others, my social "power" was solely based on that of my master.

    As far as how I wore a sword, I never really thought about it, but I'm pretty certain a sheath was wrapped into/bound against the waist between my torso and hip on the right side of my body with the hilt toward my stomach and the blade down. It definitely wasn't suspended. Interesting. All I had to do was close my eyes and I could feel it right there, almost tangible enough to grip. There's also a lighter feeling of a blade on the left side as well, as if it wasn't habitually part of my life to wear it there. (Or maybe another lifetime altogether.) Based on my research that particular position seems improbable, but *shrug* ... I really don't know much about the nuances of blades.
     
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