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Am I A Good Leader

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GalaxyDreamer90

Senior Member
I keep getting this feeling that I'm a good leader, but I have a hard time believing it. It's just in the past people have said I'm socially awkward. Besides no one ever cares what I have to say anyway. Why then do I keep getting the feeling I have what it takes to be a good leader?
 
The way this works: as long as you don't believe it, you aren't.

You can start by changing your belief, your thought, your emotions, and you might become a good leader. You have to be specific, clear, positive in your wish. Leader of what / who? What does it mean to be a good leader in that specific capacity, in your opinion? How will you feel when you'll be so?
 
GD90, it is hard enough to work yourself free of self-doubts without confounding it further with allowing (needing?) outside influences to divert your energies. As Deborah has said (in a slightly different way than I had) "Energy Follows Attention". Note how that is affecting your question and answer and think deeply upon it.

Who is limiting you?
 
Firstly, do you know whom / what you want to lead? In what capacity? You have to define your wish.

Secondly, your subconscious creates your reality, including your perception of the people in your reality.

You can pass your wishes to your subconscious through affirmations / requests made at the best moment when your conscious and your subconscious are in touch, that is the moment when you're falling asleep, and the moment when you're waking up (you can also do it through (self-)hypnosis). Your requests have to be specific, clear, concise, using verbs in their positive present form, framed in time, charged with emotion, trusting that your request will materialize (this may be difficult in the beginning, but in time you'll get there).

You are the writer / director / actor of your life's script!
 
KenJ said:
GD90, it is hard enough to work yourself free of self-doubts without confounding it further with allowing (needing?) outside influences to divert your energies. As Deborah has said (in a slightly different way than I had) "Energy Follows Attention". Note how that is affecting your question and answer and think deeply upon it.

Who is limiting you?
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I guess I feel as though I can't be a good leader because the first counselor I seen said I had autism. It still hurts me to this day.
 
Military? If so, read world war leadership manuals. Not hippy dippy crap full of hugs and rainbows. The ranger manual of the U.S army is good. As is the SS leadership manual. See if these align more with your inner being. A good leader is a good problem solver. A good man is a good problem solver. Men can't be men anymore and most often have distorted behaviors that cause self doubt and weakness because they are not socially allowed to be manly men. By which I do not mean behaving like pigs, like many men from the baby boomer generation still do. Defeat whatever is oppressing you. Head on. Decide who you are and stick to it no matter what people think. Train physically, don't drink alcohol, don't take modern medicine, which kills your hormones more often than not, don't eat soy, eat plenty of protein and learn how to say "no" quite firmly. Throw out unproductive and unmanly modern activities. Don't ever be seen on bloody ComicCon or some other crap. Go fishing or hunting, carry a weapon whether it is legal or not. An unarmed man is a slave and no man at all. Whether it is a damned table knife or an automatic rifle, enter the world as the wolf, not some tame bloody chicken or a sheep.

I had to look again and now I see by your avatar that you are female. I feel like an idiot. But perhaps some lost guy will come around and find use for this. A few things may apply, but I am not a very proficient woman. Never tried being one in all of my lives and I don't particularly understand how women work or how you establish your inner hierarchies. Which at the end of the day is what it is about. But i'm not even going to guess. I have seen way too many intelligent and good women who seem to have no status at all in relation to shallow and uneducated women whom I fail to spot much virtue in. The stereotypical Cheerleader vs. Nerd thing.

Bear in mind it wasn't always so. Once upon a time, noble women were well-read, carried on ancient traditions and knowledge, and when Europe was pagan, wielded half the power. Roughly comparable to Civilian (female) vs. Military (male). For an ancient and thoroughly interesting read, find the Oera Linda manuscript. Some say it is fake. It is not.
 
AlexD said:
Seems like a nazi forum to me, briski. I can't judge people for their past lives, of course, but I can't agree with them either, especially if they learned nothing from their experiences.
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I think thats why theres a lot of German soldiers, They have there own stories to tell that havent been told which is part of the learning process for everyone what @Ritter had been put through just before his death is disgusting, regardless of side. I wasnt aware of such things happening like that
 
tanker said:
Thanks for that! I know I go on a bit, some days ... This is what happens when you've been locked in silence for a lifetime.
edit... Not sure why I'm on here ... I've never been a leader, and don't want to be.
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You have the right idea. Being a leader is...annoying at best. All of the unnecessary stress and political complications, people under the mistaken impression that you have all of the answers when often you know little more than they do (but have to pretend otherwise). And often what you get from it is an assassination/political ousting and/or historical revisionism to make you look like a much better person instead of accepting the truth about you.

Also, I am sorry to hear about your experience of being locked away. I spent quite some time locked up alone in one lifetime and it still causes me problems.
 
Why do you want to be a leader so desperately, GalaxyDreamer?
Or do you just yearn for freedom and wish to live your current live the way you and only you want to?
Besides the books about WWI and WWII about how to lead an army, you also could read Macchiavelli, "The Prince", in particular. Centuries old, but I would bet it still would work. Same for some of Iulius Caesar's writings and some other stuff from Ancient Times.
Some things never change, and those who want to rule and dominate always will find a way to do so, unfortunately.
(In my next life, I definitely want to be a hermit or shaman or something like that...)
 
I guess I want to be a leader to boss people around even though being a leader isn't about that. I often wish there was a way I could control people so they would stop hurting my feelings.
 
Hi GalaxyDreamer. I've always believed the wielding of power and leadership was in service to others. Its not about bossing people around and making them stop hurting you. That should be an internal struggle not an outward one. One can't change other people...unless your talking about a dictatorship?

This is an example of my leadership style ( I think the writer was influenced by the Hollywood film mind but its a general point ):

http://rick60271.tripod.com/id4.html
 
I remember thinking about leadership several years ago, when I cared more about that. My conclusion was / is that in any organization there are two leadership roles / positions, that rarely fit a single individual. One is a good leader, that inspires and motivates the members of the organization. The other one is a good manager, that makes the organization run smoothly and meet its objectives.
 
In this life, I don't want to be a leader. I consider myself more a follower of the rules, than a maker of rules or an example to follow. If I have found my true former life, she wasn't a leader as such either. She was headstrong and knew what she wanted, usually getting it, but she took the orders rather than made them.
 
GalaxyDreamer90 said:
I guess I want to be a leader to boss people around even though being a leader isn't about that. I often wish there was a way I could control people so they would stop hurting my feelings.
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Being in a leadership role just makes you more of a target for scrutiny. Being in the limelight multiplies the number of people who are making judgments about you, for good or ill. Sure, if you are a good leader, there will likely be a decent percentage of people who like you, but there will always be those who do not. You could end up with a much more significant number of people saying mean things about you after gaining power, no matter how much control you have or how hard you try to make people like you. Then, of course, there is the added stress from paranoia about people plotting against you behind your back (there is always someone). And the fact that your "friends" do not really like you, and are just afraid of you or are sucking up to you.

If you truly do want to use power to make people like you, I would suggest going for the carrot over the stick. If you are a generous, charismatic leader, many people will like you and you will not have to boss people around very often.

I have been a leader many times, and I spent some time in both camps of the feared vs. loved debate. In one lifetime, I was a skilled warrior, but I was overly aware of this. If someone questioned me or got in my way, I was quick to turn to violence. The only reason I maintained authority is because people were terrified of crossing me. While this was good for my ego, I was a terrible person to attain it. It was not a good way to make friends. Another time, I was much more down-to-Earth, building friendships with my supporters and committing inspiring acts of bravery. There were still many people who tried to make me look bad, and in some cases accurately pointed out my faults (these were mostly in an attempt to take my position). But because I led in a way that did not tear others down, most did not feel the need to tear me down. Both of these methods have earned me the resentment of my own superiors, though.

You do not need to be a leader to stand up for yourself. Start small: one display of will where other times you would have relented. Sometimes, just knowing that you are a person who is willing to fight back (within reason) is enough to earn someone's respect. If not, make it a habit. The more one stands up for oneself, the more respect one tends to earn from others and the more one will respect themselves--decreasing the emotional impact of harsh words.
 
baro-san said:
I remember thinking about leadership several years ago, when I cared more about that. My conclusion was / is that in any organization there are two leadership roles / positions, that rarely fit a single individual. One is a good leader, that inspires and motivates the members of the organization. The other one is a good manager, that makes the organization run smoothly and meet its objectives.
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You know, that was the traditional role of a samurai and his wife, in ancient/medieval Japan, and also in Germanic Europe. Less so in the Roman and later Christian world. Basically, the wife ran the economy and administrative side of the fief or property, however large, and the man worried about leading the security/martial aspect. Most men I know are not exactly as organized and orderly as most women I know. And despite (or because of) having seen women in the army, I know women can't hack it physically or mentally when the going gets tough for an extended period of time. It's a good balance of power. Non-thrall women in ancient Scandinavia were not warriors, but could fight as a last line of defense should all else fail. Hence, there are some women buried with weapons. Because they sometimes had to use them when the men failed. But they were not powerless, by a long shot. The woman owned the home and ran it. The wife of a warrior just commanded herself, the wife of a chief or king commanded thousands. There was also religious practices. In Europe, women played a large role there until christianity, as the keepers of ancient knowledge, medicine, lore and tradition. It of course differed locally, and from time to another. But over-all, the leadership roles and balance of power on a farm or anywhere was a male and female one. It is a far older way of doing things than anything we can see right now, and more importantly: men did not hate women, and women did not hate men. There was balance. I remember it well enough, and we run our homestead that way.
 
Hi all. While I agree that gender roles and different aspects of leadership have always played a part I've been lucky to have had experience in different aspects of leadership:

http://www.generalmichaelcollins.com/life-times/finance/bill-tyson/

Never mind the speculation in the article. My current incarnation wasn't involved in any capacity until just before the Troika left and my ideas weren't about creating economic bubbles using speculative economics. They went deeper than that.

To be a good leader one must wear many hats in my opinion and like Spirit Sword I've wielded power in various different ways over different incarnations...yet I was always basically a good leader. That's because I did it in service to something greater than myself, whether my motivations were right or wrong, and that manifested in my attaining leadership positions. It seems it was my destiny as well as an expression of my abilities.
 
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