Am I Losing Myself

Discussion in 'Members Lounge' started by GalaxyDreamer90, Apr 18, 2018.

  1. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Member

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    I'm going to talk to the school counselor soon about this, but I thought I would get your input first. Sorry if I keep going off topic but I dont know where to post this. All of a sudden I feel like I'm losing who I really am and I'm sure it's because of the medication I'm on because people keep thinking I'm mental though I'm not. I want to be upset right now and cry but I just cant find it in me to cry. It's as if I'm becoming numb like everyone else wants me to be and it scares me. I want to be myself and emotional not what others want me to be. What can I do. I could tell my doctor about this Friday when I see him, but I doubt he will get me off the medications for feeling numb. I think that's what he wants from me anyway. What should I do. I'm so scared I'm losing myself. I could try to stop taking the pills but since I still live with my parents they would eventually find out anyway, but I feel as though the pills are taking away who I am inside.
     
  2. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi GalaxyDreamer, it's not easy to give you advice. You are talking about pills and side-effects. The best person to talk with is your doctor.
    Sometimes it's worse to stop with pills too soon. Sometimes your body has to adjust itself to them and it needs some more time. Sometimes it takes time to find out the exact prescription for your body. Sometimes the side-effects are worse than the profits. And sometimes you just endure some side-effects because the overall effects benefit you more.
    It's a process that needs time. Feeling numb is awful but still, the best person to talk to is your doctor. With her or him you should talk about the pros and cons of your medication.
     
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  3. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Member

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    Okay I'll be sure to talk to my doctor about how I feel the medications I'm on are making me emotionless. I still doubt he will get me off the medications though he did manage to get me off one medication, but it took a long time for him to get me off the medication and he got me off it because he was starting to get concerned it was causing me to gain weight. Since I've been off I have lost some weight, but I really think the reason I gained so much weight was being in college for so long especially since I didn't know what I wanted to major in first and ended up switching majors a few time. That is why I dont reccomend going to college right after high school because at 18/19 years old you dont really know what you want to do in life. I didn't know I wanted to be a graphic designer until just a few years ago when I was about 25 and it wasnt until just recently I realized I want to eventually marry and have kids sometime after I graduate from college, which will hopefully be next spring.
     
  4. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Member

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    I finally manage to cry a little, which felt kind of good, but unfortunately I wasnt able to cry that much. I kind of would like to be able to cry more when I'm sad.
     
  5. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Member

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    I talked to my counselor about how I feel like I'm losing my emotions and I'm starting to see that I need all my emotions both good and bad and while I can feel sad sometimes it shouldn't be the only emotion I want to feel.
     
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  6. RedSunshine

    RedSunshine Member

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    crying really helps, it's not a sign of weakness like other people says
     
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  7. Enyxis

    Enyxis New Member

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    As I read once in a webcomic called Dominic Deegan, Oracle for Hire: Crying is like puking for the soul. It isn't a weekness to cry. Sometime it's just the way emotions get out. People don't mind laughing, screaming, heck, some don't even mind hitting people (but I do).SO why should we consider crying a weekness? Maybe it's due to our mentality and teaching. We were thought that we "cannot cry", we cannot show weekness. Unfortunately, the soul is like any other part of who we are. Our current vessel (our body) when broken, can be mend and repaired. A cast here, some sleep there and we are fixed. For our heart, our soul, we can't use a cast. We can't just go in surgery and have it repair. It has to heal in it's own way.
    And I can understand you are afraid of loosing yourself. Some are highly sensitive people and they feel the state this world is in and they just feel helpless; unable to help. The curent world is in a state or technology, rationality, thinking, proofs... People are greedy, need more and more, destroy the planet in the process and here we are, after several or a few lives, feeling what is going on.And we feel like this world is not going in the right direction. So, we shut down somehow. And that is when we are given pills. That is because we can't live in this world that is our own because we can't be ourself. And when being who we are, we are critised by almost everyone as "not being logical", "not thinking straight", "not being rational", thet "It's not how the world works".
    So we hang on. And we break. And we need to cry. We need to let ourself cry. But often, we have conscious barrier in our mind telling us "not to cry", even though we want. What I do is meditation. I also use "The chair" exercise (Imagine your pain on a chairand just tell it everything you have to tell it). There is also hiting a pillow, screaming in a pillow. Usually, that can tire me enough and make me cry. I don't know if it will help you, but I hope you keep yourself grounded good.
     
  8. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Member

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    I still sometimes feel as though I'm losing myself because I'm not as emotional. I feel it's because people dont accept my emotions so I keep them to myself.
     
  9. Graham76man

    Graham76man Senior Member

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    Crying is also very good for the body. Medically it removes chemicals that are quite nasty to the body.
     

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