Am I Losing Myself

Discussion in 'Members Lounge' started by GalaxyDreamer90, Apr 18, 2018.

  1. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2018
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    89
    Location:
    S E England
    Your sisters were only doing what most siblings do, so it's good you can let go of it.

    Maybe you're in the States? I don't know how well Aspergers syndrome/Autism is undestood there. In the UK, most people are educated to know that there is no relation between Aspergers/Autism and intelligence. Some very brilliant people in the past and high IQ people now are Autistic. Scientists, physicists, computer programmers, software writers, accountants, auditors. They merely needed to learn in a different way to a lot of other people is all. To be in smaller, more quiet classrooms, to go at their own pace, to be around people who knew they don't much like eye to eye contact and confrontation, to have a good routine and not have sudden unexpected changes that make them anxious, or sometimes even planned changes. In the UK, children with the condition aren't looked down on - except by the very ignorant, and for decades now most attend mainstream schools and maybe have a bit of extra one to one time with a classroom assistant and perhaps take some of the schoolwork home with them for parents or grandparents to help with if they need help, or to do on their own at home if that's how they learn best.

    IF you have Aspergers/Autism then I wouldn't have known from the way you write and communicate on here, and i've read and liked quite a number of your posts to now. So IF you have then it doesn't seem too severe.
    As I said, in the UK we don't have an attitude against it. Maybe fewer people there judge it than you think.

    What are you studying at college, may I ask?

    Best wishes,

    Angie
     
  2. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2018
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    50
    I'm still a little unsure that having autism is actually okay. Still seems like a negative label to me. This might sound weird but all my life I wanted to be like a super hero and different in a good way not a bad way. I still dont see autism as different in a good way. By the way I was studying graphic design but I recently changed my major to fine arts.
     
    Angie Brown likes this.
  3. briski

    briski Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2018
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    234
    Everyone is on the autism spectrum.
     
    Angie Brown likes this.
  4. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    777
    Likes Received:
    496
    My daughters half brother is autistic. I just think it's a shame the little fella can't be like other kids. Its hardly a stigma. Its just something some people have to deal with.
     
    Angie Brown likes this.
  5. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2018
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    89
    Location:
    S E England
    It isn't a bad thing. It is limiting on some things socially, depending on severity. From what I know, the less severe have the problem of taking metaphors as statements. E.G. A child told to pull their socks up (as in get on with schoolwork) might bend down and literally pull up their already pulled up socks, and 'use some elbow grease' (in the UK means use a bit of strength, maybe when cleaning a pan) will leave someone with autism confused until they know what the adage means.

    I'd love to have done art, but was never talented enough. Do you prefer people, animals, scenes?

    Best wishes,

    Angela
     
  6. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2018
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    50
    I still am not convinced autism is a good thing. How can not being able to make friends be a good thing. By the way I usually draw anime/manga style though I dont like anime/manga as much these days. I'm more into drawing it. I would like to make a manga but I doubt I'd ever be successful.
     
    Angie Brown likes this.
  7. briski

    briski Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2018
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    234
    Im into Pop art, and such, including graffti style art myself, got a A level in art
     
  8. briski

    briski Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2018
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    234
  9. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2016
    Messages:
    600
    Likes Received:
    383
    Autists can make good friendships and can be very loyal friends. Ofcourse it is not an homogeneous group, but if you are a high functioning autist there is still a whole world to discover for you. It is also not true that they lack empathy. Some do others don’t.
    No matter what you are, it always starts with self knowledge. Determine what works for you and create this world for yourself.
     
    briski and Jim78 like this.
  10. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2018
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    50
    I'm still unsure I can make friends because I'm so stupid.
     
  11. briski

    briski Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2018
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    234
    You are putting yourself down to much. You shouldn't be that hard on yourself
     
    Speedwell and Angie Brown like this.
  12. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2018
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    50
    But what if I really am autistic
     
  13. briski

    briski Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2018
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    234
    Well everyone is on the spectrum, so not end of the world. I think you over worrying
     
  14. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2018
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    50
    Well that would explain why people are so stupid.
     
  15. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2018
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    89
    Location:
    S E England
    I'm not saying it's a good thing, either. I tend to consider it a neutral thing. Like red hair is (surprisingly) an abnormality. Some make fun and call red heads 'ginger'. If the red head takes it to heart and withdraws into themselves it becomes more of a problen. If they don't take it to heart and think of themselves as a red head or a sherry blond and look after their hair well, and see about making friends who aren't rude, then they will still have the problem of having to avoid wearing quite a lot of colours near the face, but that problem won't be made worse by feeling persecuted, disliked, wanting to be invisible etc., because s/he will accept her/himself as s/he is and will mix only with others who also accept them how they are.

    That's the best analogy I can think of at the moment.

    I wonder if you can post some photos of two or three of your art works? It's a bit cheeky of me to ask, I know, and if you would rather not then that's fine.

    Best wishes,

    Angie
     
  16. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2016
    Messages:
    600
    Likes Received:
    383
    My son is not officially autistic, but he behaves like one most of the time. He has a lot of real and longstanding friendships through the internet.
    He hardly leaves his tiny room. For years he lived 24/7 in there. Just to give an idea. A lot of his friends have trouble making friendships in real life.
    Sometimes somebody comes by who doesn’t make eyecontact or with weird esting habits. I don’t care.
    I can tell you these people are highly interesting and intelligent. They are fluent in an exotic language or have very good knowledge of history or other topics. They really have a sense of humor and they really are empathic. It’s just that they have troubles with the outside world and with too much unpredictable circumstances and so forth.
     
    Angie Brown likes this.
  17. briski

    briski Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2018
    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    234
    One thing I know, Austism is rarer in females than in males, I know this as I have done courses on the very subject
     
    Angie Brown likes this.
  18. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2018
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    50
    Funny you should mention red hair as I have natural reddish blonde hair, which I like because I think it makes me look smart even if I'm not. Even if people say blondes aren't smart.
     
    briski and Angie Brown like this.
  19. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2018
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    89
    Location:
    S E England
    I absolutely adore sherry blond hair, on men or women, and despite that it causes problems with a lot of colours near the face I would love to have had that colour. It looks gorgeous whether long or short, or mid-length. You are so lucky with your hair. Is it from both your parents? Are your sisters also sherry blond?

    I thought of another analogy. Being left handed. Just as with autism it used to be less accepted and there were often cruel efforts to 'normalise' left handed kids. At 5 yrs old, a teacher whacked me hard with a wooden ruler for using my left. Nasty mare (not only for that. She was nasty to others) gave me a mental block against using my left even now, and i'm sure that is why my handwriting and drawing skills are appalling. Yet I have never ever been able to eat with my knife in my right hand, and I carry my shoulder bag on my left. If I carry it on my right, for some reason I find I hunch up my right shoulder a lot and look odd.
    These days, left handedness is accepted and it is recognised it is wrong to try and stop kids using their left. It is even possible to buy scissors and tools for left hand use.

    What I was going to suggest, when you thought I was going to be offensive, is that you and your parents look into seeing a Chinese Doctor. He won't, or shouldn't, prescribe their herbs for you in case it clashes with your regular meds, but if it isn't too difficult for you to endure a good Chinese Doctor can help to release blockages and anxiety that can arise as a knock on effect, using accupressure on the feet, or accupuncture, or massage. However, disliking touch is an effect of Aspergers/Autism (Aspergers is light Autism. If you have either, I would think it is Aspergers as you clearly 'function' very well. 'Function' is a term that Doctors use). Anyway, if you dislike touch it won't suit you.

    I think Briski and others have made some good points. What do you think, GalaxyDreamer90?

    Best wishes,

    Angie
     
    briski likes this.
  20. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2018
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    50
    Yeah both of my parents were blonde at some point but their hair got darker as they got older. The redness in my hair seems to comes more from my moms side. I tried alternative medicine once for my anxiety but it was just too expensive that I quit before it could have any effect. I'm still unsure about autism and rather it's a good or bad thing or what.
     
    Angie Brown likes this.

Share This Page