A few nights ago after speaking with a member here about some strange occurrences I was recommended to attempt a regression, so for the last 24 hours I have been attempting to do so since my conversation with Briski ended; now I feel the need to reiterate I am still a skeptic but after the events of last night before bed and now after waking up. It's 8:44 AM where I live, at the time I am writing this; that being the West Coast of Canada. Now take all of what I'm saying here with a grain of salt, as I imagine anyone with an analytical mind and skeptic view would do anyway as I personally cannot place much weight behind what I'm saying now. It makes me feel absolutely insane to even entertain the idea but there's that old saying "No one else can say what you saw but you." The first night of trying produced little in the way of progress, just anxieties, nausea and the shakes. I feel that might've put a barrier up though every time I tried to dig into the dark corners of my psyche those feelings would escalate and I'd be wrought with a series of untraceable emotions; why I say untraceable is they'd come and go as quickly as I could experience them. This continued well into the early hours of the morning until I finally went to sleep, it was a dreamless sleep but I felt disconnected; like I wasn't fully asleep when I was. The following day was uneventful, though after waking up I didn't feel rested at all and every action was heavy. Tastes were blunted, scents were muddled. I chocked it up as just the rainy weather messing with me and ignored it. Around 8 PM last night, after my cutesies with my S/O sending her off to bed I laid down and tried to regress once again; however this time I didn't feel anxious but at the same time I didn't feel at peace. I felt I was treading a fine line between what I'm allowed to do and what I'm not but I didn't care, placing ear buds in my ears I played some beta waves that I found here on this site off a post about someone needing help regressing it. For the first twenty minutes I felt nothing but whacko, laughed at myself for even entertaining the idea but I couldn't bring myself to remove the ear buds. Thirty minutes in, I fell closer to sleep at this point I probably should've removed the ear buds and gone on my way to dreamland but I felt strangely heavy and movement came with difficulty, assuming this was regular exhaustion I just ignored it. Though not long after brushing it off and forcing myself to relax and embrace "sleep", which is what I later learned it was not. The flashes were vague, hardly flashes at all. The things that appeared behind closed eyelids were ethereal almost, completely see through and hard to make out and if I focused on them they'd fade. I saw what appeared to be triangular symbols, faces, they came fast and went away just as quickly; seemingly flying out of the corners of my peripheral vision as if I were passing them. I saw men laughing, a woman smiling but the thing that always came back was the handshake; it came back so frequently I could follow the wrinkles and curvature of the finger and I can safely say I could probably draw an exact replica of what is in my head it's burned in so clear. Then I was drawn back to a field, that played a part in my first anxious experience. This time however, I realized where it was from. A long time ago, when I was very young perhaps around six, a year before my car accident which is what might've forced that memory into the recesses of my mind; either way; around this time I had a dream. I thought it was in a house but it was in the field, I was standing over someone from behind; they wore darkish grey overalls and a white shirt; polished black shoes and had messy chocolate hair. What's strange is I want to call him Wilhelm, compulsively; like I'm sure that is what he was called. He was toiling away on what looked like a Diesel engine, it was very large and whatever it was attached to it was attached at the back; it stunk fiercely and gave this oily taste in my mouth and made my face feel heavy like it was covered in goo. (keep in mind as I'm remembering this I'm almost experiencing the dream all over again in this state) Wilhelm didn't look back at me I just stood there over top of him and watched, arms crossed. I was dressed in the same but I had something slung over my shoulder and the knees on my pants were dirty and worn. The field itself was vast, I can't tell you what was to my left; I can't but to my right there were dense, tall trees that were many shades darker green than the lush and vibrant grass; fog hugged the treeline and made the already abyss like blackness of the forest seem endless. The field itself was strange, more like a clearing really than a field and now as I type that I think that's exactly what it was. A man made clearing. Something said whatever was wrong with the diesel was my fault but I can't tell you what I had done or what said engine was even attached to, which is strange; you'd think if I was the one that damaged it or whatever I'd know what it was on? Apparently not though but I digress. Advancing a few minutes into the dream, Wilhelm quickly looked over his shoulder to stare at me, I couldn't see his face; only his eyes were visible under his chocolate mop as his shoulder hid his nose down from sight; I felt confused, his eyes were huge; like a cats is when you use a laser pointer as if he were terrified and then out of no where, blackness, the memory of the dream was gone. Boom. I felt blown away, literally the definition of the word; like I was flying backward before slowly beginning to float upwards and something in my gut said "blown away" was right, as something kept saying I was blown up. I came to and ripped the headphones out of my ears, had a small anxiety attack like I actually was just blown up and it took me about twenty minutes to calm down. I talked with a friend about this in great detail as he also believes in Reincarnation (but puts as much faith in it as I do, being utterly skeptic at the same time as belief) but he suggested it was either a bombing or mortar/artillery round potentially and perhaps the field was in Germany somewhere (the friend in question is Belgian and lives in Belgium) citing the trees there in places are leagues darker than the grass and it's the same in a few countries surrounding Germany too but not as vast. That sounded "right" to me, like he spoke fact not a suggestion and so I'm going to roll with it's a field somewhere in Germany. Back onto the topic of bombing or artillery, something in my heart said the bombing happened before the dream and what I 'saw' happened a while after. After calming down and going to sleep, I had a dream. In this dream, I was in the field again but it was different. There was no diesel engine or Wilhelm, it was me and five other men. Their faces were black holes wearing dark grey helmets and hats, attached at the neck and wearing equally dark grey attire with black strips going up either side of their chest, those strips disappearing at where I would assume the belt line was as if hidden by something. In this dream I felt angry, hateful and we were dragging men out of strange homes by their collars, wrists, ankles.. Anything we could grab and pull that wouldn't be easily gotten away from and if anyone of these men struggled, two or three of us would begin bashing them with the butt of some kind of gun before continuing to drag them along. Something told me I wasn't angry with the men I was hurting, I was angry at myself and the men who were helping me. I hated them. I hated them all. I hated what I was doing and I hated myself too for doing it. We pulled the men along, at times for what felt like minutes and pushed/packed them all tightly together to the point some were finding it difficult to stand easily or perhaps they already were having difficulty standing from the prior beatings. The men I hated got in line on either side of me, two to a shoulder and raised those very same strange guns on the corralled men. I'll never forget the haunting feeling of watching those black faceless ******* holes and knowing they were looking back at you. It didn't feel like I dream I could physically feel their nonexistent eyes on me and I was the last to raise the same gun as them. I could tell they were waiting for me, waiting for something involving me anyway. I'll never forget what happened next, it was like wearing an Oculus rift but realistic to the core. I felt myself pull the trigger, I felt the rattle in my forearms and shoulders, it hurt, I saw the flashes; hell, I even heard the gun. It was ungodly fast, it spat lead like a demon and the guttural snarl it made is making me want to throw up even thinking about it now. I saw the blood and visceral, I saw it all, the spray from them as they fell backward.. What was strange is they didn't hit the ground, they kept falling like they were going off a cliff or into a black hole but it was a field. I could see the grass behind them but it was almost like they were falling through the ground.. That's all I have, I woke up not long after and I came right here; right here immediately. It's now 9:30 AM as I finish writing this. *PS Whoever added the tags, thank you very much. I wasn't aware I had to add them.