Avoiding the Acceptance Trap

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Deborah, Jul 18, 2009.

  1. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi,

    I posted this a few years ago but would like to reflect on it again with new members. Thoughts and reflections are welcome.

    I went to Italy on vacation in 2006. I was hoping for validations of my memories living in northern Italy 1900 - 1958. I have questioned the validity of my experiences on many levels, trying to see them objectively and subjectively. I am always questioning the possibilities and yet I am careful not to fall into the trap of acceptance without critical examination. It isn't an easy task and requires not only personal reflection but a lot of research.

    Most people were NOT famous in a past life. Documentation of the common folk in history tends to be generalized, not always specific and even non-existent. This can be a disappointment when trying to locate a past life persona. Not everyone was famous or important, most of us fall into the category of the masses.

    In our society we want proof, hard evidence and the facts, yet we are lacking pertinent information regarding our history because it is a selective history recorded by those in charge, and those that have the power and means to do so.

    Text books cover only what the publisher deems important for educational purposes. The encyclopedia only covers the facts, data and important information pertaining to a culture, time period or event. For example, if you read a Russian history book they record a different history than an American text regarding the Cold War, or any war for that matter.

    The most compelling information I found came from personal letters and diaries. The daily life of individuals who revealed their struggles, their joys and their pain. Within these documents I learned more about the people, the living situations, and the events of the time than I ever learned in our education system or from a history book. Diaries and letters were written for personal reasons; within them is a record of the persons thoughts, feelings, and emotions regarding the circumstances the time. The little things.

    My research will not pin point me as a particular person in history. I wish it would and although someday I hope to be able to verify at least one pl, I have had to rely on the historical implications via diaries and letters and simple verifiable facts that surfaced within my experiences. (I can explain verifiable facts later if you are interested.)

    One of the difficulties I found in Italy was that Italian cities sometimes do not name their streets - especially in smaller towns. Other times the name of a street can change within two blocks and again three blocks further down. Cities are often named similar names with only a letter or two difference. This made it especially hard.

    Since I was with a friend and on vacation and our travel time to get there extended by days - my research time was limited. What I can share here if there is interest are a few images of my trip that illustrate SMALL validations.

    Is it proof? Absolutely not. But it moves the experience of a past life beyond my imagination into verifiable facts; facts that I had no other way of knowing about - except to go to Italy and research them.

    It is important to follow up after (even years after) - it can be a very healing experience. Are any of you finding the identification/proof/verification process tedious? Rewarding?
     
    samsonwhamson likes this.
  2. Looking Backwards

    Looking Backwards Senior Registered

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    I like this post.


    One of the things that frustrated me the most when I first started looking into reincarnation was the fact that everyone was Queen Elizabeth. Now, I know she was remarkable, but remarkable enough to reincarnate into 100 people all living at the same time? I don't know about that. ;) Sure, she may very well have a reincarnation out there, maybe even on this board. I could be her reincarnation. But the fact that everyone was apparently her... I don't know. One of the things I liked about this board was how many people said they lived, well, normal, everyday lives. It made me feel as though I was finally meeting people who took the topic seriously, rather than sensationalizing the topic. (Sure, some people have said they were famous people, but not everyone.)


    Sometimes I wonder about my own feelings of who I was. I was for a while convinced of a possible past life event that I now somehow don't think was real, but rather, something I made up in my head. :( It's frustrating, because I don't know what I've made up on my own and what's real. But I think everyone has to watch out for that.


    I also think it's a good idea to remember that even CL memories can be confusing. There's plenty of things that I remember from my early childhood that didn't happen the way I think it did. Just something else to consider.
     
  3. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi Looking Backwards,


    Thank you for posting. I imagine a lot of people feel the way you do - questioning if their memories are real; looking for validations of some sort. That WOW factor that leaves no question. You are not alone.


    I came here 12 years ago and signed up for Carol's then new forum. I had met her at a symposium in 1997 when she said she was just getting it started. I have watched many come and be thankful for this space, eagerly sharing, giving back to others and searching for information. It has been a blessing.


    People come here for different reasons. Some have lost loved ones and grieve. Others have children who have memories, some - are just curious.


    As you noted, taking it seriously means so much more. To me - who you were is not as important as WHY you are and where you are headed.


    I think it is human nature to question, to wonder - to reflect.


    Thank you for your posts and your grounding presence. :D
     
  4. Truthseeker

    Truthseeker Former Moderator

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    That is an interesting point. Reality is in the eye of the beholder. We worry about how much truth there is in our PL memories when even CL memories can be twisted or misinterpreted. So often the mind believes what it wants to believe.
     
  5. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi Truthseeker,

    The mind is a powerful thing. Michael Talbot states in his book, The Holographic Universe:

    I also believe that we have - three intelligence's; based on Gregg Braden's book The Isaiah Effect and the work Schwaller de Lubicz


    The power of thought is at the foundation of many religions and is being studied within certain scientific communities. I came across a quote by Xenophanes, who lived six centuries before Christ. I find it very compelling.

     
  6. -barry-

    -barry- New Member

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    Deborah


    Interesting post. I would like to ask what exactly you mean by validation?


    -barry-
     
  7. Ailish

    Ailish Administrator Emerita

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    Hi -barry-


    There are many threads pertaining to validation on the forum. For most individuals, including Deborah and myself, it is an important part of the whole process. There is absolutely no desire or need to prove our experiences as valid - to anyone but ourselves. ;)


    Thought you might enjoy the following on validation:

     
  8. SundayAtDusk

    SundayAtDusk New Member

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    I've always wondered if one's "life review" at the end of one's life could create false past life memories in a current life. To make this simple, let me refer to Raymond Moody's NDE classic Life After Life. In the book, Dr. Moody suggests that after we die, we have a life review. During this review, we not only see the good things we did, but also the bad things. Actually, we experience what we did, and the way our actions affected others. We actually feel the pain and emotions others felt when we hurt them.


    Okay, what if you then possibly hold on to those intense emotions of how you hurt others, in such a way that you feel and think you actually were the one who was hurt...and not the one who inflicted the pain. It would be an honest mistake...in the sense, you felt the pain of others the way you should have in your past life review...and you then went into another lifetime thinking you were the one who was hurt. Thus, you may end up thinking you were someone exactly the opposite of who you actually were in a past life. :)
     
  9. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    Hi Sunday


    That did happen to me.. ie think I had a past life as the opposite to the truth. It took further regression to figure that I had been the victim and not the perpetruator.


    I now see that it happened because of the past karmic tie I had had to that person and because of my lack of wisdom and love .


    Here is the story. In a life in Egypt , person1{ my now mother} who was married to my person2 { my now father} were my slaves. When I went into the light I was reminded again of the love I could have and realised that by not doing something to improve the conditions of my slaves I was at fault.


    After my death, and still in spirit I returned to my body with this guilt upon my mind. { I believe the soul can hang around for a few days after death} I witnessed these slaves talking about me as they prepared my body for mummifaction. This scene imprinted more strongly the guilt upon me, as they talked badly about me. I took on all of their negative thoughts and took that guilt with me into other lives, including this one.


    I have had other lives with these people and the play of our dynamics can be seen in our karmic links. In this life my parents are self deprecating martyrs , and this attribute lowered my self esteem and lowered my expectation of having good things happen to me. I continued with the self guilt that could be seen as developing with these people from that time in Egypt . This guilt was only preventing me from finding love as it was based on a false premise that I was totally responsible for their suffering in their lives as my slaves. .


    I now accept that at that time in history that there were slaves, and other abuses and that I could not be held totally responsible. I was not a terribly mean person in that life. I just did not step up to try and make any important changes in the social and moral milleu. I now accept that that was my parents karma to be slaves and that I had no part of deciding there fate to chose that life. I cannot be responsible for everyones decision that could cause them pain.. WHy they chose that life is something I ponder about so I can help them to see beyond their personal choice.


    So getting back to the life where I remembered the opposite scenario. In one life in the medieval times, person1 was torturing me to get some info out of me. In my first memory of that scene though I had it the opposite way around. I saw myself as the torturer.


    It took me working through other feelings in order to finally remember the truth, coming to understand and forgive myself for my faults and lack of action towards love.


    soulfreindly


    ,
     
  10. SundayAtDusk

    SundayAtDusk New Member

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    soulfriendly,


    That is really a fascinating complex story...and the way you put the puzzle all together...which I imagined took a lot of thinking and soul searching. :)


    It also hits on something I've always been interested since joining this forum back in 2000--namely, the way some people see themselves as victimizers, when you just have the strongest gut feeling they were actually the victims, not the victimizers. I know one person who believes she was a Nazi, and I have felt from the very beginning in my conversations with her that she was Jewish! She was not a Nazi! She sounds Jewish in this lifetime, even though she was raised a Catholic. And I can't help but think being raised a Catholic, at the time she was, was one of the things that contributed to her feeling guilty about something where she was not guilty. (This is not to stereotype the Catholic Church, but it is well known that the Catholic Church has a strong history of trying to make women out to be guilty. I personally believe I had a past life as a Catholic nun...and I think it was a very happy life...so, believe me, I am not making that statement out of hatred of the Catholic Church.)


    There's also the idea that was hit on in the play and movie The Man In The Glass Booth. The exact idea was...forgive me, I really don't know...I'm not sure I totally grasped it, after watching the very wordy movie. But in the movie, Maximillian Schell plays a man on trial for Nazi war crimes...and he confesses to it all...only for everyone in the courtroom to discover at the end of the trial...he was actually a Jew in a concentration camp during WWII! Of course, that did not involve past life memories, but current life memories. But if current life memories can be so wrong, so can past life ones, as others have often mentioned in this forum.


    Guilt is a very complex issue, as you have so eloquently shown in your post, soulfriendly.
     
  11. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    I thought of another important part of the experience where I had misinterpreted that past life scenario . I remembered that the man who was torturing me had been a " nice" neighbour in my smallish city. It was this attachment , although simple and seemingly trivial , that made it a difficult transition to seeing this person with the truth .. ie someone who was not so neighbourly.


    I see it is this inability to truly accept the truth that prevents us from taking charge of the situation and being able to process our thoughts with our true feelings behind those thoughts. When an experience means reorganising our beliefs then we start to question our own direction.. ie the moral direction we want to find in order to be accepted and loved.


    And these questions can lead to guilt when we cannot find the wisdom to understand the whole of the story. If we just see bits and bites then we are not able to lay judgement. We need the whole story to bring wisdom. We emotionally want to find a way to conclude with a judgement in order to be able to act in love to protect the people we love.. including ourselves, if the same thing happens again. Even if we die , our heart that longs for love remembers.


    This is why past life investigations can be so healing as it can connect the dots that have been lost through time.
     
  12. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi Barry,

    Here is an example from my Journal. I remembered in 1992 during a meditation that my father owned a vineyard and had many large wine barrels. Some almost 6 feet tall.

    HUGE wine barrels in Northern Italy.


    What I remember was hiding Jewish people inside of them - when the Nazi's came. At the time of the memory in 1992 - I thought it was my imagination. Wine barrels were not that big. I told myself that - many times and for years. I had never seen any as big as what I experienced in my meditation. In fact I dismissed it for years!


    I guess they were. Years later I got my validation.
     
  13. IsabellaLuna

    IsabellaLuna New Member

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    I have had many small details validated. Most of my memories are feelings based. I may see other people who are involved, and scenes or other small details, but what is most prominent are my feelings. So I focus on acknowledging the feelings and beliefs from those memories; whether the memories are real are not is not important. Doing this is yielding very deep healing for me.


    I have a memory of a life in which I am a well known figure in history. Maybe, as I have read in other threads, I was really someone who knew her and/or identified with her. Since the only information I have right now is that I was her, I just go with that. If I was someone else, I think that information will reveal itself in time.


    Though I do have doubts about my memories, I just keep letting myself go with it and believe it's real, and focus on what is being presented to me through them. I have gotten so much insightful material related to my current life, I can't deny that there is a real, deeply meaningful connection, though I have no concrete proof to say that it was indeed my past life or if it is a result of some other phenomenon that we don't know of yet.


    One thing that has helped me to believe things that are felt but can't necessarily be proved, is some of the experiences that I had growing up. Once experience was growing up with a few caregivers who abused me. I was taught to pretend the abuse was not happening. As a survival mechanism I developed a finely tuned sensitivity to my surroundings, and to vibration and energy. I could tune into my abusers from afar, and thus was able to gauge their mood and intentions toward me. This ability grew and I was able to sense what was going on with people in general, even when they were acting the opposite outwardly, or denied what they were doing. I've had many occasions of people doing really subtle things to me that are boundary crossing, but they act like they didn't do anything, and it is easy to believe them and doubt one's own perception of what really happened. Or doubt because one can't really prove what they did because it wasn't overt. I learned from those experiences to trust my senses and gut instinct, no matter if they acted like nothing happened or even denied it. I have many times later been proven that I was right, which further encourages me to trust my instinct.


    Another experience was growing up in a cultish religion, which never truly resonated with me. I had to follow my inner knowing through all those years of them telling me to believe things about God and the world according to their viewpoint. Some of that junk did get absorbed because I was so young, but deep down inside I didn't really believe it. Could I prove to them what I knew to be true inside, which was contrary to what they taught? No, but it was something that I knew, which was a part of my essential integrity, and I had to go with that. It felt right to go with what I knew inside. I left that religion as soon as I was old enough and followed my own path, which has led me here in addition to other infinitely more interesting places than that rigid, black and white box that old religion was trying to stuff me into.


    Later, I got "initiated" with Reiki healing energy. I was already sensitive to energy, and this gave me a system to work with it. A small example: someone has a headache. Placing my hands near the area without touching their head I can feel the energy of it, channel Reiki, feel the headache energy clear and dissipate without saying anything to that person what I am sensing, and that person on their own says that they feel better. In this case, their expression of relief is proof that my sense that the energy shifted was correct. I use this example because my ability to sense things has a broad application. It feels the same for me, whether there is outward proof of it or not.


    With my past life memories, I have a sense that this is different than pure fantasizing. There is an energy to it, and strong emotions just like when I remember something from my current life, even stronger. It has relevant information, energy and aliveness to it.


    Perhaps there is something in all of us who are remembering, that "knows" these past life experiences are real. We may not know for sure in what way they are real - whether they truly are our own past lives remembered or some other phenomenon allowing us to remember this information for the purposes of healing, evolution, or other. They are real, in whatever context they exist. We just don't know for sure what that context is!


    Enough for now, I am tired and need to go to bed. :)
     
  14. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Some things to keep in mind as you research memories and look for validations.
     
  15. sellingmysoul

    sellingmysoul New Member

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    Your post really spoke to me, Isabella, especially the last paragraph. I agree wholeheartedly with what you wrote.
     
  16. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Deborah, that's the number one thing I look for when doing my research. It's incredibly invaluable as I feel we come "loaded" with latent memories such as emotions, preferences for objects, food, habits and all sorts of other things that can't be validated or refuted by simple historical documentation.

    This is also quite possible under normal circumstances. I typically experience this with either my son or my friend. Both have a habit of blurting things out and both the subject and manner in which they do it can be quite telling.


    One thing I will add that I find important is to also try and disprove your validation. For instance, where is the line drawn between a validation and a coincidence? It may be a coincidence that both you and your person of interest share the same favorite color. But what about your hobbies, political views, relationships to your parents and siblings?


    Imagine if you could somehow chart these "hits" and "misses" between you and someone your researching. Coming from a psychological research background, I know that there is no such thing as an absolute in the connection between two things, but rather the degree of possibility to which they either are, or are not related.


    I know that sounds like a mouthful, but we use a tool called a scatter plot that does exactly that. If you really want to get scientific about it (and it's a good back ground anyway for researches of all types) you can read up on research methods and statistics. I have to say that's one thing I really enjoyed about college and it's given me an extra leg up with past lives research as well.
     
  17. Kapitan

    Kapitan Probationary

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    It was at first - but looking back, I've realized that I started to have dreams and visions before I really began the historical research thoroughly. And for me - the fact that these things started on their own (my dreams, visions) without being triggered by anything external is enough for me.


    I've long since accepted who I am and to suddenly not 'listen to God' would just put me back to 'square one' and I'm not about to do that.
     
  18. ArnoldVinette

    ArnoldVinette Arnold Vinette

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    What we can do today for tomorrow


    I read Deborah's thread with interest.


    When Carol Bowman was just getting everything started back in 1997, my first son was getting ready to be born in January 1998.


    For what ever reason it was very important for me to record the first five years of his life. These would be the years that he would not be able to remember on his own, based upon my own experience.


    My own long term memories of this life really seem to start at about 5 years of age. I have attributed this to the fact that the brain needs to know a language in order to do a memory retrieval. Until the age of five I was unable to talk due to an ear blockage, so all of my long term memories start at age 5.


    However prior to five years of age, around 3 to 4 years of age, I had these weird dreams of being a stone mason. I have no time reference for this other than, it was a time period when it was normal to build houses and buildings with large stones.


    To ensure that my son and other future children could remember their early memories I made a promise to myself to record their daily life until 5 years of age.


    These memories were published as eBooks as the easiest way for them to find these stories when they were ready.


    At the time it had never even occurred to me that these same stories could be used in the far future as a Past Life Tool if the spirit could remember a Past Life name.


    It is interesting to note that my former spouse did NOT want any memories recorded of her children and their family. While I was trying to save everything, she was trying to destroy everything. Taking photos and diary writing were actively discouraged.


    So I have found it very interesting to find this forum and find so many women / mothers trying to save their children's Past Life memories. I simply did not know that these types of women existed.


    So for parents that may want to help their children remember a past life or their own for that matter write a diary and publish it as an eBook. Save what you can today for tomorrow.


    Examples


    Novel


    Reid's Adventures - 1st Year Breaking in your new parents.


    Art example


    Reid's Adventures - October 2005 Art Album


    Danielle's Adventures - October 2005 Art Album


    Colin's Adventures - October 2005 Art Album


    The art albums also include photos of daily life that may in the future allow these spirits to remember this past life.


    After these were released my former spoused divorce me and forbid her three children from ever drawing artwork again.


    The artwork was on the theme of what they had done that day. So a daily dairy in children's artwork.


    The purpose of the above is not to promote the projects, but to promote the idea of saving what you can today for your kids to remember tomorrow.


    And then taking it to another level to remember a Past Life in the future as eBooks should live indefinitely in cyber space.


    In all material for 100 novels was written.


    Unfortunately no Past Life information ever came up during their childhood. This could be a positive sign that each had had happy past lives before this one.


    Arnold Vinette is a pen name for publishing purposes and internet privacy.


    Like Deborah I have a profund interest to visit Europe. Italy is of interest to me as well. So I found Deborah's comments on Italian towns very interesting.


    Perhaps this is why I wanted to record in detail my own children's lives and area so that they could later remember it with the same detail later on.
     
  19. Nightrain

    Nightrain Senior Registered

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    Hi Arnold, and welcome to the Forum.


    I find it most distressing that anyone—least of all a child's mother—would want to repress memories of one's own child.


    I think we would all be interested in reading any excerpts from your writing that you would like to post as new threads.
     
  20. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Interesting notation. Thank you for posting Arnold. I hope you do share more. Feel free to start your own thread so we can talk about your experiences specifically. :)
     

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