Quite a few people have claimed to be William Shakespeare, but I reckon most of them have past lives as inmates in lunatic asylums! Since they can't answer fundamental questions about Shakespeare. Now when I was at school they never ever taught Shakespeare to me, so if you claim to be him and you were taught Shakespeare then you have already been influenced, by the subject and any past life memories will be corrupted by it. I thought that "What The Dickens" was something to do with Charles Dickens! That's how much I knew! My first memories as a child were being afraid of Skulls! I will leave you to guess why that was! I developed an interest in local history especially of Sheffield. I was born in road called Queen Mary on the Manor Estate. Which was connected to the ancient Lodge on Manor Lane where Mary Queen of Scots was kept. I wanted to know why she was there, but the explanation I was getting didn't make sense. So I looked into the person that had her put there and soon realised and I know believe a past life memory that the great Queen Elizabeth was shy. In fact so shy that nobody could convince her that she was a beautiful woman. It's no wonder that the people dealing with her struggle with her ideas about what was right and wrong. For as I called it myself they were dealing with a dumb blond! After I had completed my research on that subject, I started to look at what Elizabeth was like after the execution of Mary Stuart. So as the most popular man of the period I got myself a copy of the complete works to look for clues to Elizabeth in those. Since he must have known her. But at first it wasn't obvious then I saw the sonnets, there was man urging a woman to marry and she was beautiful. Bingo! Then I noticed she answers him back! It was obvious to me that it was Elizabeth, she even uses her Latin motto in English in one of them. Though I did do some research, this was only done to back up what I was sensing. The Sonnets are two writer sonnets with William Shakespeare doing some and the others done by the Queen. Hers are quite easy to spot after you know what she is like, because it's like she has an inferiority complex the size of Mount Everest!! I then realised that the rest of the plays are about her. He includes bits from her life, no later than 1588. In all of the plays, jumbling up to fool anyone reading them. For example Hamlet keeps switching between being the 14 year old Elizabeth and Hamlet's girlfriend when he's talking to her. It's basically the story of what Elizabeth was having to do during the reign of her brother, shortly after the death of Henry VIII. Elizabeth must have seen the ghost of her father and of course interpreted that as being he was murdered, hence why Hamlet does the same. Her mother Henry's last wife and her new husband Thomas Seymour thinks she's mad. So Elizabeth had to put up with this status or fight against it, hence the monologue in the play. Edward her brother turns out to bit of a lecherous person. He even fancies Elizabeth!! Well according to our historians she was not his sister. And if they can see it so could Edward! Shakespeare was bit of a clever dick and because Elizabeth had made a massive fuss of him as a very young child, she was his hero. But the Catholic Teachers at his school didn't like her. So Shakespeare wagged school often. He heard that the Queen was in Kenilworth so he went to find her. Instead he ran into her hunting hounds which chased him. The Queen saw him and stopped him from falling into a dangerous place. She explained that she had done the same as a girl and was just about to show her scare on her - never mind - when he seeing that ran off. It was a hot summer's day and so William found a pond and was stripping off to bathe in the cool water. Unknown to him the Queen had followed him on her horse and was watching this scene. Now her horse made a noise and (I) he fell in the pool! When the Queen had stop laughing. She helped him dry off. But she noticed his school bag on the ground and went through it. There she say poems and plays etc nearly all about her! The Queen knew talent when she saw it and offered William a place at University, she had already done the same to Christopher Marlowe and he had accepted this. But Will had enough of education and he told her all about the school at Stratford. So Elizabeth took him to court. Introduced him to the court entertainers and that was the start of things. William had a look of Robert Dudley, so the court gossip was convinced that I was the child of the Queen and Robert! Though William was brought up a Catholic he had no leanings in that religion. In fact he told William Cecil all about the secret Catholic households in Stratford, which Cecil raided of course. As William got older he fell for Elizabeth even more. One day he had Christopher Marlowe, who became Will's friend, went to the orchid near the palace. And Will jumped over the wall to see Elizabeth on the balcony. Hence the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet! Romeo and Juliet is really about the two houses of God, Catholic and Protestant. We first performed it around 1584. At the Curtain Theatre. Which did have a Curtain. Because the chorus uses it to reveal two bone idol and somewhat thick servants lying against a wall who should be moving coals. Hence the jokes about standing up. We never auditioned for the plays. You got the part for being the right person for the job. Or having the part written around you. So the 14 year Juliet was a real life 14 year old girl from Italy now living in London, granted permission to act on the stage by the Queen. Along with her sister who was the older girl in the plays. She was a black haired lookalike for the Queen. Hence why the Queen mentions black wires in the sonnets. The plays were not written we me scribbling away at some desk. Instead we worked as a co-operative with everyone contributing their skills. So when Romeo's friend is killed the lines were written by Christopher Marlowe doing his words in his death scene. And the same with the rest. I was of course the person who ran the whole thing. This way we avoided writers block and it explains why I seem to have had an enormous amount of knowledge for a glover's son from Stratford. We were able to put out over four thousand plays using this method. So the ones left are nothing to the ones' lost! Of course the gravy train had to come to and end. What I didn't know that while I was after Elizabeth and getting nowhere fast with her, Christopher Marlowe was after my second wife Anne. He was sneaking back to Stratford. He convinced her that I was sleeping with the Queen and had his way with her. One of my servants found out and told me, so I set a trap and caught them in the best bed together. Now I wasn't the type to kill someone, even over that. So I made certain Marlowe got all the bad guys parts after that. This went on several years in a feud between us too. Till one day a fight scene got out of hand and we were pulled before the Queen to explain. Marlowe blurted it out that it was about him sleeping with my wife. As the Queen didn't know that I was married that did it! She was determined to end the company there and then and she did. She was prepared to stop Marlowe and me acting and performing plays again. But Marlowe, who wasn't that keen on the Queen anyway blackmailed the Queen saying he would spill the beans on her affair with a married man. After that I wasn't allowed to put out any plays. So I put out poetry using the thick Earl of Southampton, I gave him a thousand to use that piece in the poems published in my names as I tried every trick into the book to get into the Queen's favour. It worked, she allowed a new company to put out plays, but the ones that I did were simply remastered versions of the old ones. She wouldn't let me write anything new. I got the last few sonnets from her too! "All Men are bad" them! Marlowe of course put out his plays using the boy actors he loved to use, he didn't like the two women I used. But of course he was up before the courts over something and just before he could spill the beans on the Queen, he was killed. I don't know to this day if she had him killed or it was somebody else. But he was dead, cause I went to the inquest and saw him. Marlowe wasn't a spy either! He couldn't spy for nuts. As for my wife, I remarried another woman called Barbara Stiff and had some kids with her while still married to Anne. Just before I died I left my wife the slightly worn best bed, that I caught her in and nothing else. That Ben Jonson! Well somebody had the bloody sonnets published! I suspect from this life, that it was Ben. Well that did it. It would have done a lot of damage to Elizabeth reputation, even though she was dead when they were published, but Ben wasn't totally stupid and made certain to take out the Queen's name. Even though there are loads of clues to it in them. But he got the last laugh with the works. I thought I had made a good job of making me vanish from history to protect the Queen! But all that has happened is some nuts now believe I didn't write the stuff. And few people believe Elizabeth was a virgin! Crumbs I took her to a hoar house and she still didn't have the leg over! Yes Ben you could find me in the Swan Inn drinking Sweet Sherry. Thanks for that epitaph!