Bleedthrough from past life??

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Ceridwen, Oct 10, 2021.

  1. Ceridwen

    Ceridwen Senior Registered

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    Finally it's become clear what a major issue is re a relationship I'd hoped would work out - and it hasn't.

    It is now clear that the person concerned is almost certainly asexual. That's something I've never encountered before and I'm "normal" in that respect and sex etc is expected and does need to be part of my relationship with a man I'm interested in.

    I'm guessing that maybe this is - at least sometimes - down to trauma they've experienced in a past life maybe? - eg something horrific like gang rape or something?

    I've been raped in this lifetime myself (as have a lot of women) - but I'm still "normal" heterosexual woman and sex is expected/wanted part of a relationship for me. So it won't be happening then....as I couldn't take a more "restricted" relationship like that personally and would want the "full package".

    I still regard the man-who-wasn't as a friend and care what happens to him - but friendship is clearly all it will ever be for him (with anyone - not just me).

    Has anyone any experience of asexuality in a reincarnation context?
     
  2. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    This is a complicated topic and not sure how to lay this out in a sane manner but most forms of advice would be to talk things over and work things out otherwise it might not work out. Some souls haven't really developed in this area before incarnating here so it is a challenge to them unlike how it has been for us where it is part of us so to speak. Sometimes one can flip the switch so to speak if the asexual becomes attracted to one's mind (weird as that sounds) the rest tends to fallow later.
     
  3. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    In my personal opinion, asexuality not necessarily is a disorder or something to be "cured", it depends on many factors. As there are heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual people, there also are asexual people. But, of course, some people just may have lost interest in sexuality due to trauma, sickness or something else.
    (Note that Nikola Tesla was asexual, some people just don't feel this kind of desire, and in some cases, it even helps with their life, career and what they want to be and do.)

    The most important question would be: is he happy with his life, is he healthy?
    If so, his asexuality just is how he is and you should accept this.

    If he has a tendency to be depressed and/or overweight, then maybe hormones are the reason and a hormone treatment could help him.

    There also can be reasons in a PL, of course.

    It is possible, that, as you suggested, he got raped in a PL, either as a man or as a woman.
    It also is possible that in a PL he was the one who raped someone else.
    Or maybe the happiest life he had was as a monk or nun (of any religion where lack of desire is seen as something good), hermit or what ever.

    Does he believe in reincarnation? Does he remember past lives?

    Anyway, it is for HIM to decide how he wants to be and what he wants to do with his life.
     
  4. Ceridwen

    Ceridwen Senior Registered

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    I fully agree that there is nothing "wrong" with being asexual and that's just how it is for some people - ie in the same way as there's nothing wrong with having one colour of eyes, rather than another. It's just a fact....end of. The problem arose because he was pretending not to be and so, of course, everyone has been assuming he's "normal" in that respect and it all blew up - when it wouldnt have done if he'd just been open about it in the first place iyswim. He does believe in reincarnation etc and it's obviously up to him how he runs his life and he's just been asked to be honest with people about it from here on in - so that no-one just assumes he's "normal" in that respect and they aren't "led on" to thinking things are different. Obviously it's all a bigger problem for him than for anyone that has been (however inadvertently) "led on".

    This is something I've never come across before - to my knowledge - and hence wondering how these things happen.

    Obviously the vast vast majority of us make assumptions about people and, in the vast majority of cases those assumptions will be totally correct - and I'm in that category personally (ie they look at me and assume I am standard sexually and that I am heterosexual - and they would be perfectly correct on both counts in my case). The problems arose because it wasn't assumptions - it was down to him deliberately coming over as a very "sexual" person - and that was not the case at all.
     
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  5. Ocean

    Ocean Senior Registered

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    There are different forms of asexuality and it’s rather a wide spectrum than just one certain way of living and behaviour. I know some people who are asexual in real life and I talked to some others online. Some asexuals fall in love with other people and seek romantic relationships, they just don’t have the desire to have sex with their partner. Some like kissing and cuddling etc, while others don’t. Some just seek friendships, while some are perfectly happy all by themselves. Some asexuals can become sexual by their own desire over time with one certain partner they are in a relationship with (there is a special term for that, which I don’t know anymore right know). Some others can be in a relationship with a sexual person and “tolerate” having sex or seek some way of compromise for the sake of their partner. So with some asexuals (and asexual couples in especial) you wouldn’t even notice any different kind of behaviour if they didn’t tell you directly.

    If you want to learn more about it or wish to talk to asexual people go to AVEN, the official website and forum:
    https://www.asexuality.org/en/

    If he is open about it, I also suggest talking with the person in question to get to know what asexuality actually means for him and what kind of relationships with others he is interested in (if any).

    Normally asexual people are happy the way they are and they don’t feel like there is something wrong or something missing in their life. So there is no problem for them. But “coming out” can be a bit of a problem as asexuality isn’t widely known in society (in opposite to homosexuality for example) and most “normal”, sexual people don’t understand it or falsely think there is something wrong with that person. That’s why many asexuals prefer to keep silent about it. It’s a very private matter anyway.

    I don’t know in which way he pretended to be “normal”, but this could have been just his ordinary behaviour, when he still feels attracted to others romantically, for example. Or maybe he just thought coming out would raise too much misunderstanding and stupid questions.

    How asexuality might be connected to reincarnation, if at all, I can just speculate about. In addition to what was already said by others, I can imagine that some souls have tried all kinds of sexual relationships over many lifetimes and are just done with this topic for now, so they can focus on other things. Maybe even as a preparation for a next life focusing on spirituality only as a monk or something.
     
  6. Ceridwen

    Ceridwen Senior Registered

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    Oh yeah - fully agree there's nothing "wrong" with it and I've been doing a bit of reading - and realised there is a bit of a spectrum on this (as in many other things). The guy concerned makes a thing of appearing VERY sexual though - rather than people just making assumptions about them. So - if someone presents themselves as very sexual - then that's what people will assume is the case. Sort of nearest way of putting it is it would be a bit of a shock if Madonna (the pop star) suddenly turned out to be asexual after all - as she puts on a darn good show of being highly sexual iyswim and that's rather what he's been doing. Some people could adapt either way - but I know myself and (for me personally) relationships with men are either "friends only" and that's all I've ever wanted from them (ie because I like them - but don't find them attractive) or they are "normal ones" (because I do find them attractive - and want that to be a full sexual thing too - and obviously not feel they were doing so "on sufferance" to try and keep me happy iyswim). If they did go "some way down the road" with me and it was just to "keep me happy" I would find it offputting personally - as I'd want them to genuinely want it too.
     

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