I always love to read a good story from somebody else, so I'll try to make mine as good as possible as well. The fact is that at this moment it is not yet a story, but I really feel the need to make it one, because these memories have relevance to my life at the moment. Other past life memories don't bother me like this one. The background story is an online friendship that suddenly exploded into an intense love story. We 'met' online in 2013, we felt an immediate connection, but nothing romantically. Interesting discussions and spiritual conversations, even intens triggers now and then. But those things can happen. I do not respond to every trigger I face, because I am highly sensitive and I also try to have a 'normal' life, so I just cut off a lot. He left the online community quite soon, but we stayed in touch, but not on a regular base. We did have conversations about past lives in general, but I didn't feel anything. Once he send me the link of the Spanish movie ' Caótica Ana' and we discussed that later. I even made the joke if he implied that we might have met in previous lives ourselves, but he responded in a vague manner. Every time I almost forgot about him, he showed up by email, and we just talked like no time had passed between the last conversations, and then he disappeared again in silence for months or years. In the meantime, strange things happened, but I leave them out for now. This story is far too complicated to tell in chronological order, and you can even add the fact that as soon as we are in contact, time messes up. (But I'll tell them later.) At a certain moment I had that eary feeling that a lot of things that I had experienced all related to him, and I spoke to myself the words: "You're in big 'trouble' if this were to be true." Something enormous and big rose up from the unseen. I was not sure about it, but I am also a 'warrior': I decided to face it, to face him, in order to know. So I send him the invitation to meet, very neutral, on the neutral ground. We live in the same country, not close, not far away. Just to drink a cup of coffee together in a random public place. It took him weeks to answer, but there 'it' started. The dams broke, and the water flooded on both sides. He didn't want to meet, because according to him and his state of emotions it could never be a neutral meeting. I was surprised at first because on my side there never was romance involved. But while exchanging some emails that very day, our energies started to mix. My heart chakra opened (a crazy feeling I didn't know before), and I felt his love, so endlessly deep. I also felt the other energies, fire, fire going through me. Sometimes it was even bigger than myself like I was an enormous cloud of fire. In the days and weeks to follow my energetic system was completely out of control, which eventually led to a kundalini awakening, although at the moment I didn't know the concept. It just happened, couldn't prevent it, and it was not traumatic after all. In the first months, we talked a lot, traveled together in our fantasies. The funny thing is I never believed in the concept of twin souls (and I still do not believe in it), but according to the popular believes we would score a 100%, but for me this would be 'too cheap', too much of a hype. And somewhere deep down I do consider us two different beings, not one. Although our energies mix and mingle on all kinds of levels you can imagine. I've even met his Higher Self, who came to talk to me, to give me some explanations, at the moment I wanted to quit the whole dynamic that was going on. I now understand what is going on, at a high level, but it left me unsatisfied with the low level of everyday life. At this moment our contact is still intact, but we lowered down a lot. We both don't want to disrupt the lives we already live in, we decided to never meet in person, we already consider us 'cheating', because we didn't tell our spouses about this. We are both very ethical and we both feel responsible for the families that rely on us. Breaking up is impossible, a real-life relationship is impossible too. Our finding of each other doesn't make sense to us. We didn't ask for it, we didn't plan it, it goes against our ethical believes, but it is highly magical and strong. So now we are in a stage for some time that we wonder if we are going to send greetings forth and back the rest of our lives, or that we are going to create our own meaning and purpose out of it, despite of the distance. I asked his permission to dig in our past lives. I really need to ask that first, because we both 'know' there will be a lot of dirty stuff under the surface. Ironically my friend is a former reincarnation therapist, but this is not part of our dynamic. On the contrary, he never confirms anything, never gives a clue away. I'm on my own, so to speak. But he is ok with it. He's curious about what will come up (but still not giving no clue, not giving an inch away, it will be my own journey). So in the next post, I'll describe what I've found so far, I really want to stay anonymous, which means that I cannot write down everything because some things would probably identify me. But I'll do my best.