Bullies

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Obie, Jul 24, 2013.

  1. Obie

    Obie Senior Registered

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    When I was in Junior High there was a certain group of kids who bullied me. They were pretty awful tho they never were violent.

    For some reason one of the girls seemed like she would be a great person to hang out with but she turned out to be one of the biggest bullies of them all. But I was still drawn to her and still wanted to be her friend (when now as an adult I cant wrap my head around it)

    Could I have known these bullies in a PL? Could it have been unfinished business that I had to work on with these horrible people? In high school the bullying stopped even tho the same bullies went to school with me.

    Was it karmic debt that I was repaying?
     
  2. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    They were probably part of your "soul group". Many of the kids I went to school with were with me in past lives.
     
  3. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    The wolf pack mentality that produces bullying is hard to explain. My feeling is that there is not necessarily a PL connection. Not everything we experience has one. Most of the victims are just that, innocent "prey" of other children with not very evolved souls.
     
  4. Shiftkitty

    Shiftkitty Registered User

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    Seconded. I had to put up with bullies when I was a kid, but I think the way I handled it might not be acceptable today. (It involved force-feeding them my fist.) It's part of childhood and some people never mentally mature enough to outgrow it. Any desire to be friends on your part could probably just be a genuine desire to be friends, maybe an attempt to get at least one of them to look past whatever they see worth bullying.
     
  5. kliewer

    kliewer Registered

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    I have always wondered this myself. Did you agree with the things that she said or feel that sometimes you may have deserved her treatments?


    Personally it has been impossible to access those in my soul-group (I see it more like a braid, different sources but all intertwined...) but if perhaps my aggressors were not directly involved with me in a past time then perhaps they sense the unfinished business of another. Sorry, but I cannot tell!
     
  6. emikua

    emikua Registered

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    This is one interesting thought indeed! I was bullied on and off for about 6 years during my middle school/high school years.


    I KNOW that those years were MAJOR contributors to how I am now. I would be a very different person if they had befriended me instead of harassing me everyday.


    I'm very grateful for that experience in all honesty, but I don't think any of them are in my soul group ( at least I hope so! ).


    I feel like, when it comes to soul groups you feel a genuine connection with the person, whether it's bad or good, right?


    Well, even if they did me dirty, I felt no connection to any of them whatsoever.


    That 6 year stage of my life was just a series of challenges that I HAD to go through really, at least that's how I see it.
     
  7. Red Night

    Red Night Senior Registered

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    I think bullying is a natural part of growing up; I'm not proud of it, but I'll readily admit I've been on both ends. But wanting to be friends with these particular people may simply be a case of envy. Were they the "cool kids?" Did everyone like them? Did they have certain qualities that you wished you could have had in yourself? Confidence, humor, wit, etc., etc.?


    There was also always that "cool" group. They were the popular, wealthy kids who got good grades and all the teachers loved them. Some of them weren't very nice to me, yet I still envied them and desired to be their friend. Makes no sense!


    Ah, wouldn't you all just love to go back to those days...cover face
     
  8. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Of course you realize we all ARE going to go back to those days sooner or later. I was never really bullied except for one time in 7th grade. I found out a few years ago he was two years older and had been held back twice. This was before anyone knew what "learning disabilities" are. I also notice looking back that it was usually the small/short kids or kids who were "different" from everyone else that were picked on. I have also learned that the "bullies" are actually insecure and troubled themselves. I didn't realize that at the time.
     
  9. Red Night

    Red Night Senior Registered

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    Ugh, don't remind me!


    I really wonder know how often bullies really realize just how mean they're being. I'm willing to bet there's a pretty good portion who just think they're being funny. And of course there are those who have many problems themselves, like you said, Argonne.


    Or maybe they're just stupid. Once, when I was in the seventh grade this boy asked another student why he "wore the same pants everyday." The poor guy just shrugged with this sad face and walked away. I went up to boy who'd asked thinking he did it on purpose.


    "That was really mean!"


    "Why, it was just a question..."


    "Maybe he can't afford to wear any other pants." He didn't know what to say and I walked off myself.


    But of course, there are those people who are mean just to be mean. :/
     
  10. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I don't think there's any excuse for bullying, although as Red Night says, some of it might just be insensitivity. Schools seem to have a tendency to blame the victim instead of the perpetrator. As a parent, I just waded in and got it stopped, even if I had to go to the other children directly. Thinking back, that must have been quite shocking! Some people have unkind souls, even as children, and the only way they will learn is if someone calls them on it.
     
  11. Ceridwen

    Ceridwen Senior Registered

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    I think I would be shocked if any of the bullies I encountered were in my soul group. I'd like to think anyone in my soul group would be a better person than a bully. The people I have encountered throughout my life that I had the feeling might be in my soul group were nicer people than that and usually rather more intelligent too and are often doing their bit to try and make the world a better place.


    The one thing that the bullies I've ever encountered seem to have had in common is that the ones I met at school all (without exception) left school at the earliest possible opportunity (bearing in mind I am well into baby boomer age group - so ones without any academic potential DID all leave at that age back then). The ones since then....well...I think the same reasoning applied in their little minds...that of trying to keep me "in my (in their opinion) place" - as otherwise I was at risk of doing better in life than they were capable of. I would say jealousy was what motivated them and, whatever other faults I have (errrm...just a few...ahem....) I don't think jealousy is one of them.


    From which, you'll probably gather that I see no reason to forgive bullies and these days am very thankful that I am usually able to steer well clear of people like that (with no longer having to either go to school with them or work with them).
     
  12. Red Night

    Red Night Senior Registered

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    I don't think you should be so quick to dismiss people from your soul group; none of us are perfect. You'd probably be surprised at what you and others have been capable of in the past, and are possibly still capable of. In the end we're all souls who can feel happiness, sadness, anger, love, hate, and all the other emotions there are to feel in the world. Every single one of us. I think we should all be a little more open-minded that all of us have a dark side, and all of us have the power to be bad people. But, instead of distancing ourselves from those who choose to do bad, we should try and understand them. Feel pity for them that they feel they need to act a certain way, that they feel what they are doing is right. Victim or perpetrator; in the end we're all in the same boat.
     
  13. kliewer

    kliewer Registered

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    Quoted for truth
     
  14. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I agree that we all have a dark side, and that no one is perfect. Unfortunately, some people feel freer to express their dark sides. I have sometimes been capable of feeling sympathy for both victim and perpetrator, but I think once we move past the point of committing acts of great evil, we don't regress. The things in this world that do the most harm are often not acts of evil on a large scale, but the small, everyday hurts, slights, and acts of intolerance. They are cumulative and soul-stealing, for both the victim and the perpetrator. That's the effect that bullying has.
     
  15. Red Night

    Red Night Senior Registered

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    I'm in no way defending bullying. I know how much it hurts and would never make excuses for it or defend it. Just making sure that's clear. But I still agree with my previous statement.
     
  16. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    We do have to forgive ourselves, not only for childhood transgressions, but the adult ones. Sometimes, even now, I find the thoughtless acts that I committed as a child even more unforgivable than the adult ones. I think Usetawuz has pointed out that on the other side, we are our own harshest critics, and quite forgiving of everyone else. It's only my opinion, Red Night, but it seems to me that you have moved past any transgressions you remember committing in the past, and are certainly far beyond bullying anyone in this one. By the way, when I was in high school, a girl I was on friendly terms with said that I had been cruel to her in the third grade. I had no memory of the incident she described at all. Since my memory is "selective", maybe I committed atrocities in other incarnations that I can't remember. Ignorance is bliss in this case. I have enough cringe-worthy memories from this life!
     
  17. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Maybe she remembered it differently than you did. I think that happens a lot also.
     
  18. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I didn't remember anything about it all! I don't remember ever coming in contact with her before junior high. She seemed sincere about what she was telling me, bur who knows?
     
  19. Red Night

    Red Night Senior Registered

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    Thank, BriarRose :)
     
  20. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Then maybe she confused you with someone else? Third grade to high school is a very long time at that age.LOL
     

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