Can't find my suffragette - can anyone help me?

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by sortoflikeheaven, Sep 14, 2018.

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  1. sortoflikeheaven

    sortoflikeheaven New Member

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    Hi There! I guess I am kind of desperate to write about this - but what the heck, I have to give it a shot, right?

    In one of my experienced past lives (revealed itself during P.L. regression meditation) I found myself in the 1890's London, U.K. Being this female born around 1870 and who's family came from Austria or Germany. Their last name was sounding like GroBelstein but the B had been changed into two s. Could not make it out. Her father's name was Cecil or Cecile or Cecily and one of her names was Cecily. She was nicknamed Missy and Kitty by her family. Her biological mother died, I am guessing child birth. Her father's sister, married, lived in UK and had a husband who's name I think was Rufus.

    Missy absolutely adored Rufus but found her aunt very strict, just like her father. Missy was aware that they were somehow different, both in tradition, raising the children (more strict than an English child, more limited and more demanding) and I am guessing a certain twist in the religion field. Like she was only an English girl so far and that she was not allowed to do certain things.

    She had several cousins. For some years Missy lived with this family and her father would visit. Then her father remarried to a younger woman who was blond. Did not get her name, Missy just called her "Mother" (typical). He insisted on taking Missy back to live with them in a villa in London.

    When she was 6 she had a little brother, Nicholas (so maybe her stepmother was from Russia? I don't know...). From what I could tell her family was very much upper class. Much money. I kept saying "Rotschield", without knowing what it meant. I had a feeling her father - this very strict looking businessman of his day - worked at a bank or that they were somehow related to the Rotschield name or that Rufus was a Rotschield, even possible that her future fiance was a Rotschield. When I later looked it up I found that Rotschield is a town in the US and a old famous Rotschield family that owned banks.

    Anyhow, the real trouble in Missy's life starts when she has finished school and after arranged dates with families around find herself engaged to a young man who works at her father's place. Just like that. Missy had been during her upbringing in her father's home physically punished by her father and so has her little brother. Missy sees her father as a black spider and she was just a fly in his net. Fears this will continue if she marries, but then her husband will be the spider instead. Her fiance is angry with her. I don't know if it was because she had her doubts.

    All hell breaks loose as she is trying to cancel the engagement. It is like she does not have a legitimate reason to do this. That both these prestigious families are involved. That if they do not marry both their reputation will be ruined and they will not be able to marry someone else. Once they meet in church and he tells her that when (not if) they marry he will punish her, that his family has also insisted on this and that afterwards they will go on to have babies and live a contempt life (never mind what she wants). In a way to save his honor I felt as if they wanted her signed off to some mental institution, that that would be a legitimate reason.

    Somehow she escapes this, but I feel as if she had to leave her family and leave her upper social group - and that she wanted to leave too, but that her family was bitter and they were trying to still have her in their lives. Then I see that she dresses in black, as if she is in mourning and the dresses were more simple than the usual ones she had. This sort of confused the man she was in love with who worked/owned a caf'e, restaurant by a lake in one of London's parks, to think they came from the same social class. From what I could tell they were eventually married. She lives in an apartment with her husband. They wanted children, but she had some trouble with pain in her lower tummy area.

    Before her marriage she had started going to suffragette meetings around 1890. She lived at home at the time and her father caught her (she had not told him she was off to these meetings) once and they had a fight about this. Later in life I realized she was involved for real. She would switch names, clothes from different social groups, would remove her rings, would be imprisoned and be force fed.

    I experienced one march where the females all walked peacefully but strategically. There were people standing on the side looking at them. She was a bit nervous. I experienced all sort of things: that she was involved in helping women giving childbirth, that there was a market that her husband and she used to go to, but they were kind of dressed up on this occasion - one time both wearing brown, maybe it was on Sundays? She had this emotional good-bye-talk with her husband when he was leaving her. He said he could not stand going to bed alone not knowing where she was, if she was captured, if she was starving in jail - and she had forbidden him to go and look for her as well. She just thought this would be for a period of time, but also felt they were getting closer and they needed to endure and be strong. It just broke her heart to loose him.

    I feel as if he was bitter, and she did not dare to visit him once she was released at his restaurant where he usually was, working. I wished I had his name. I think it was her stomach that somehow managed to kill her, what ever it now was. She died in bed and suddenly saw her own body lying there in bed from the ceiling, and her father - her only visit at the time - in an armchair, possibly sleeping. If there is a suffragette expertise out there that might recognize something in my story to help me identify her (if Missy now was ever real that is) or know how/where to look I would greatly appreciate it. Someone else who experienced a past life during this period? I'd love to know. :)

    Added experiences:
    Looking on Internet for more info about the suffragette movement which I knew very little of before:
    Read on this page http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Frances_Gordon that "...Adopting an alias was not uncommon for campaigners, either to avoid their families being condemned by association or to evade capture by police." (I did not know this prior)

    Experienced being Missy standing on the side (where the round tower is) of this (massive) house owned by the family Rothschield .
    It is called Waddeston and according to page https://rothschildfoundation.org.uk/who-we-are/history/the-rothschilds-and-waddesdon-2/ it was built as a summer house and they would invite friends over.[​IMG]


    [​IMG]
    The two houses on the right are familiar; the Apsley House & the Rothschild mansion. This is in the Hyde Park area.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Emmeline Pethick-Lawrence (far left) at a suffragette march in Hyde Park, 23 July 1910, with (L-R) Dame Christabel Pankhurst, Sylvia Pankhurst and Emily Wilding Davison Source from page: https://www.exploringsurreyspast.org.uk/themes/people/activists/suffragettes/suffrage-surrey/

    [​IMG]
    Picture above is from the webpage https://mashable.com/2015/01/12/suffragettes-vs-police/?europe=true#aRaUR86ZqZqD. The way the lady in the picture is dressed, especially with shawl was what I was experiencing her wearing at home and when to go out from the apartment she shared with her husband one time in the evening.

    St James' Park, that was where There were some marches regarding the suffragette movement through the St James' Park in 1914
    [​IMG]

    Found photo below from Daily Mail page (link). Text under says: "Mrs Broom managed to capture suffragettes, soldiers and protests taking place in London such as nurses and midwives marching as part of the Pageant of Women's Trades and Professions which took place through the city and ended at the Royal Albert Hall in April 1909"
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2018 at 12:37 AM
  2. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Sortof . . .,

    This is a very complete memory! I can't help right off the bat, but I do wonder if you were just seeing the use of the German eszet symbol in the name. It stands for the "ss" sound and looks like this “ß”. So, GroBelstein was probably Grosselstein in English. Also, are you sure the family you were involved with wasn't the famous Rothschild banking family?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rothschild_family

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  3. yvettebruneau

    yvettebruneau Active Member

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    Have you tried FamilySearch (free forever) or Ancestry (free for 2 weeks)? That's how I eventually found my past life identity, though it wasn't without digging or doubting! I'm afraid I can't currently be much more help than that right now, as I'm meant to be working. :D

    Plus, I wish my regression imagery had come through as clear as yours seems to have! I had to work off clues, and the name of my PL husband (his given name and last initial, that is...). :rolleyes:
     
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  4. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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  5. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    • I really hope that you will find her. My best wishes to you. As I know how it feels when you are missing people from past lives, and desperately so.
     
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  6. sortoflikeheaven

    sortoflikeheaven New Member

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    Thank you so much for taking time to answer me despite of work ;) , no I haven't but now I will :) Amazing that you found your old self : ) It was a friend of mine years back who did the regression on me and she was very stubborn and later she said that I responded as if she was bothering me, but she was really on my case regardless. Afterwards I had to thank her because otherwise I would not have had names. It felt at the same time as I said names that a part of me was thinking - what is that? who is talking? This is ridiculous, even though I knew it was me. So it felt surreal. When I have done my own regression, meditation I have returned to that life - and I see buildings and experience more emotional things but can't reach the names.
     
  7. sortoflikeheaven

    sortoflikeheaven New Member

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    Thank you very much : ) I'm not sure. I suppose I have to dive into the Rothschild family's history : )
     
  8. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    To my shame, I know little of the Suffragettes.

    I don't know much about the banking family either. However, they are ashkenazi so Rufus (a Scottish name for red haired) wouldn't be a usual name for ashkenazi to name a child.
    Also, marriage would have been in a synogogue not a church unless that branch of the family were crypto but if that were so they would have had to change their surname so as to not be automatically known as ashkenazi. Alternatively, a branch may genuinely have taken on Christianity but again would almost certainly have changed their surname. So i'm not sure how those particular memories would correlate to the banking family.

    Forced marriages were still quite common during late Victorian/early Edwardian times. I was around then, and forcibly married to a far older man. My parents had lied to him that I was willing. When I found where he lived and went and told him otherwise, although he was angry with them (and came and told them so) he said he would have to go ahead with the wedding or they would sue him for breach of contract and ruin his reputation. So you see, men also could be sort of forced to marry.
    A man or woman over 21 could be sued for breach of contract. If someone under 21 refused to go ahead with the wedding then it was the parents who sued or could be sued. A tort for breach of contract was quite scandalous and could be ruinous.
    It's how things were for many of us in some social circles then.

    I must say, if you were a sufferagette I am very grateful to you and the others. You were all exceptionally brave.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2018
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  9. sortoflikeheaven

    sortoflikeheaven New Member

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    Thank you so much for the info and your own story regarding the marriage bit. I understand it better now when you've described the contract-bit. I have been going through the Rothschields family members (My God - there were so many of them) and have come to the conclusion that she was no Rothschield. Also they had a tradition in marrying their cousins. My conclusion - so far that is - is that her father perhaps worked at a Rothschield bank or that she was moving around the Rothschield house in London due to it's location in Hyde Park. Why on earth I have this experience of her standing on the side of a house that has a round tower - I don't know. Maybe her father - or Rufus - or someone knew the Rothschields? So it is a bit confusing, to say the least. Also I have googled my way about the suffragettes and so far I have not found her. From what I could tell she lacked support from her family and then her husband, (although not at first - I just think he got frighten at what was happening and did not want misfortune in their lives); and in my experiences was changing clothes as if she belonged to another social group, took of her rings to make them think she was a miss and not a mrs; so she probably went under other names as well. From what I could tell she was also protective of her family and husband; they were also pressured when having a suffragette in the family or through marriage, they did not want to be involved from what I could tell. I don't think she told them anything. I experienced that the Missy and the Kitty nicknames was because her family thought she was like a cat - very soft to then suddenly scratch, have a temper. The worst fights, that I could tell, that went on in that family was between father and daughter. I remember 2 fights that were really bad and in one of them her stepmother just stood there - completely silent and staring at the two of them. From some of my experiencing being her I realized she did own a temper, but this just came to surface after she had tried to suppress it, be diplomatic for a long time (or it felt like a long time ;).
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2018
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  10. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    I am sure that what we need to know (usually in order to resolve within ourselves, be at peace, let go of and move on) comes to us. Although it can be frustrating to not quite get or be certain of some details, I suspect that most such details are superfluous to what we actually need but if you believe there is something crucial you can't quite 'get', then try and find a good pl hypno regressionist.

    I am glad the info about forced marriages being helpful. You weren't as alone in that as you may have felt at the time. Knowing that now doesn't help you then, but at least it can ease the pain and feelings of distress from that memory. It could be only that memory you have needed to come to terms with so you can let it float away and not matter anymore. It's gone and you can let it softly float up and out of sight and out of memory as it is no longer important for your development.

    Suppressed temper then exploding. Yes, a lot of us do that. It usually starts with a small thing that may seem to nit picketty to say anything about. Then the culprit gets away with that so goes onto a bit more disrespect, e.g. maybe uses ghosting or some other psyop such as making ambiguous remarks (then when you say you don't like what they inferred, they dishonestly claim you took it the wrong way). Or it can be outright abuse such as keep thieving what is yours. After trying for too long to be diplomatic and keep the peace - BAM! Explosion of temper. Lol. That is a lot of people.
    These days I have learned to use a bit of diplomacy at first, and if I am still disrespected I just say outright what I think without going into a long rant. Seems to work.

    I hope you find any more answers you need about that life, or if you find you now have the answers you need that you can happily let go of it

    Best wishes,

    Angie
     
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