Children's Past Lives/"ADHD"

Discussion in 'Children's Past Lives -Age 7 & under' started by Shelby, Mar 25, 2001.

  1. Shelby

    Shelby New Member

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    Hi! I am thrilled to have found this site! I have worked with adults on a regular basis as a Past Life Regression Therapist & Hypnotherapist. I trully believe in the healing powers of PLR. This site has confirmed to me that an experience with my son is what I believed it to be and has happened to many other children!

    About 2 years ago, my then 5 year old son, straigt out of the blue said "When I lived with my other mommy my name was Mountain Climber." This astounded me. We were driving in the car and we live in an area of majestic bluffs. He was looking out the windows at the bluffs. Now, I have never worked with children in PLR and did not talk to the kids about what I do. They have just never been interested! I have done basic relaxation techniques at bedtime with my son, which never proved to be very successfull. He has an EXTREMELY active mind, which brings me to the topic of this post. He has displayed "ADHD" behaviors since he was little. I have such a HUGE problem with the overuse of that catch all phrase for every misbehavior in a child. I have fought this "diagnosis" for years and have tried herbs, diet, sleep, discipline, rewards......you name it. I am still holding out on the medication. We have had a few meetings now with a "team" at school to discuss his behavior. He is an extremely intelligent and verbal little boy. His behavior is constantly disruptive to his class, however, and in some cases dangerous. I could go on and on here. I have spoken with many, many people about this, researched as much as I possibly can. One of the themes that continually come up is how we expect kids, especially, boys to sit in the school setting. In past times these same boys often did not begin school until a much later age, having worked on the farms/land, and even farther back, having come from a hunter/gatherer type setting. Boys/men were praised for their strength, speed, warrior like qualities. Now we want them to sit still for hours on end.

    It is clear to me with my son's past life memory that he was an active person, "Mountain Climber" would lend one to believe this! I wonder about the connection and I wonder about effective past life recall/ regression therapy in dealing with "socially unacceptable" behaviors now associated with ADHD?

    His behavior is not a result of a "dysfunctional household", abuse, violence in our home or any of the other things often blamed. His sister, coming from the same house THRIVES in school and the teachers tell me they can't believe that they are siblings!

    If anyone has thoughts, experience or input into this I would love to hear it. I would love to research and work with this more in depth!
     
  2. Kathy

    Kathy Senior Registered

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    Hi Shelby,

    I think you might be helped by reading the book "Indigo Children". Also, give your son some activites that can interest him, and to put all of his energy into that.

    When I was a kid, I used to have to train my mind so I wouldn't disturb class. I'd either day dream (which my teachers thought was hillarious, they'd often tell me to "revient de la lune" (come back from the moon), and now that I'm older I can keep my mind focused much more, but it still takes some work.

    I'm sure I would've been diagnosed with ADD if it was a popular diagnosis then. Personally, I don't feel that medications would have helped, that just masks the problem, it doesn't deal with it head on. The real issue has to be addressed here.

    Hope you're having a great day. Take Care, -Kathy.
     
  3. Kelly

    Kelly Administrator Emeritus

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    Hi Shelby


    I'm not a mother myself personally yet, and ADD/ADHD isn't as widely diagnosed over here in England, so the information is a lot less scarce, but I very much believe (from what i have read and heard on the subject myself personally) that a lot of it is a problem with society, we place rules and strictures and set systems of learning and teaching on both sexes.

    I recently watched a play called "Defending The Caveman" that concentrated on our primitive urges and roles from prehistoric man/woman and how it relates to our sex and gender in the present day....the play was intended more as a one-man comedy analysis, but the points bought up were very apparent in everyday life and by the responses of the audience, the jokes were definitely hitting the spot....he explained the hunter instinct of intense concentration on one thing - the prey, then the opposite (femine) instinct as the gatherer, one who is able to carry out a multitude of tasks without the same "fixed" concentration of the hunter. It really was a very interesting analysis, and I can totally see how these roles and "primitive" can effect us in the present day based on the same principles expressed.

    Lots of Love

    ------------------
    Kelly
     
  4. DJ

    DJ Senior Registered

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    Welcome, Shelby!

    I am a teacher and I agree that ADHD is a label too-often used. I even recently substituted a week for a 2nd-grade teacher who told me a boy was "extremely ADHD." She told me that he would disrupt the class and have to change his color-card everyday. I admit I am very firm; he did not disrupt the class, and he changed his card once the whole week. It *did* take him forever to do his work; however during lang. arts rotations I had him sit by me, and he got more done. The teacher told me that she had suggested medication at the start of the year; the parents had said he was probably bored. In my assessment, these 2nd graders are doing first grade activities, so yes, I think he *is* bored, and I would never recommend medication for him. The risks far outweigh his lack of focus.

    With this in mind, is it possible that your son is bored? Has he been stimulated for doing his work? Or, is his teacher(s) too rigid? That is, does she expect him to sit in his seat when he finds that standing to do work is so much easier? I am one person who thinks that no teacher should treat all children equally. Some children require a bit different treatment.

    You say, however, that he is constantly disruptive to the rest of the class and he is at times, "dangerous." I don't think I have enough info to go on here; this leads to more questions--does the teacher "permit" him to be disruptive to the class (is she strict enough?)...what do you define as "dangerous"?

    Could it be possible that your son is not ADHD, but bipolar? In retrospect, a lot of what I have learned thru a friend with bipolarism is that a student of mine several years ago was probably bipolar. One day he'd be great, a wonderfully sweet, quiet boy; then at times he'd lash out, have temper tantrums, physically push, shove, hit, etc. the other students in the class (in and out of the classroom). Like I said, I am very strict, however no strategy helped whatsoever and I got major denial of any problem from the parent and administration.

    If the teacher has done all she can to maintain the peace in the classroom, is it possible to get a "one-on-one" for your son? However, like I said, I don't know what you define as "dangerous." In some districts, they have employed "one-on-ones"---a person who is employed to be in the classroom for strictly, only attention to a particular student. If I had had a one-on-one for my student, for example, all the time spent on disciplining him would have been done 100% by the other employee.

    Again, I welcome you to the forum, Shelby. I have been here a while and I must say there is a general open-mindedness here.

    Light,

    DJ
     
  5. Meridian

    Meridian Guest

    Hi Shelby!
    I am an RN and also the mom of a 16 yr old girl with ADHD. She has been on medication since the age of 5.
    There is a vast difference in her ability to focus on and off the medication (now Dexedrine). The medication is not a "cure all" but works as a "stop and think" pill if you will.... We also attended counseling for about 6 years re: behavior modification and strategies. (which is not a cure all either but helps to understand and modify behavior)With meds, counseling, support and understanding, I feel I have done all I can to help her become an (almost)independent funtioning adult! She is very intellegent (as are most kids with ADHD). I feel I would have deprived her of her learning experiences by not allowing her the medication necessary to enable her to "stop" long enough to learn to the best of her ability. She is now the editor of her high school paper and plans to attend college majoring in journalism/communication. The REALLY SCARY thing is now she is getting her DRIVER'S LICENCE! LOOK OUT! :O (Again, glad the meds are helping her to focus, especially on the road)

    Children with ADHD get reprimanded more than other children at school and everywhere. They tend to develop low self esteem, as someone is always on their case about something. From the low self esteem and anxiety of not being able to function/concentrate "like the other kids" and not knkowing why they're always in trouble they tend to develop depression also.Some ADHD kids invade other peoples/kids' boundaries without knowing or thinking about it. Other kids will get angry. ADHD kids are usually about 2 years behind others their age at a "social level".

    I recently re-married and now have 2 stepsons ages 4 & 5. My 4 yr old is now exhibing signs of ADHD and my daughter was the first one to notice. (I guess it takes one to know one!LOL) His Montessori teacher also noticed he was not able to focus or pay attention and he was easily agitated and defiant. We now have noticed the "signs" also, but at first we thought he was just being an active little boy. We are going to have him thoroughly tested and if we need to make the choice of medication I would do so again if necessary. My husband also can "tell" if out daughter has not taken her medication and what a difference it makes.

    I do agree that these medication are prescribed too often and sometimes by the wrong professionals. I don't feel a family physician or general practitioner is qualified to diagnose ADHD and prescribe meds for it. Special psychological and neurological testing is necessary on an ongoing basis. Testing being done on and off medication to assess if it is necessary and effective. The dosages must be "fine tuned" as too much or too little will not help.

    The media also "hypes" people into thinking that all kids with behavior problems are labeled as ADHD, put on Ritalin and turned into zombies. NOT TRUE! If your child is in the hands of the proper professionals that deal with this disorder as their "specialty" and are doing the proper ongoing assessments, you and your child's specialist can together make the decision of medication vs. non-medication treatments.
    Also, your childs teacher, school social worker, school phychologist, school nurse all know the "signs" of ADHD, but again they are NOT specialists, but they do posess the qualifications/knowledge to refer you and your child to a specialist in that that area. There are also local ADHD support groups! Great for "venting" and gathering information!

    Chosing to have your child on medication is a difficult decision. Also, keep in mind that sometimes ADHD behaviors can be dangerous to your child and to others. I could tell you some STORIES!!!!!

    Anyway, enough rambling! Good luck in your decisions and "Peace be with you". Remember to take care of yourself also, or it will effect your ability to care for others. Your feelings, patience level and stamina also bear weight in your decision.

    I wish you and your family the very best! Feel free to e-mail me if you would like!
    ~Meridian
     
  6. Meridian

    Meridian Guest

    Oh!! I got to rambling so, I forgot to comment on past lives..~L~
    My daughter (ADHD) always had a fear of our home burning down. We were just talking about that the other day. She said that in kindergarten when they taught them about fires, she was really scared. Once when she was about 6 the fire alarm went off (test) in our apt. She was in the bathroom and totally freaked out, locked herself in accidently and was so upset she could not open/unlock the door the door! She was hysterical. I still wonder about that.
    Thanks for listening! Any comments would be appreciated!
    ~Meridian
     
  7. Lastearthling

    Lastearthling Senior Registered

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    Dear Shelby,

    I have been an educator for over 5 years as a private tutor, mentor, and instructor for children of all ages, mainly however for teens. (I am also a mother of two children, and part of a mother's group for several years) Shelby, what I am about to say may offend you at first, but hear (read) it out, and then consider it for what value you think this has...

    Ok, MY opinion (disregard if you choose),

    Your child needs more touch. Your child needs more attention, not just paying attention but giving attention. Your child needs you to be 100% involved in his or her life as a dear, close friend. I am not saying these things because you don't do it, I am saying these things because your child needs them like food. We all come in different packages, and your child's package needs extra.

    You did not say whether or not you have a husband, or father for your children. This is important because without the extra support that this would provide you, you may be exhausted by all of your child's needs. Seek family/friends for active, participating interaction with your child, i.e., play board games together, read together, watch movies/t.v. shows together and then discuss them afterwards, cook together, help eachother do house chores and share your day's stories together. In short, aside from a sexual relationship, love the child and show the child as much attention as you would a cherished mate.

    I don't know why or what makes some children more needy in this way than others, but I believe we need to trust our instincts and give them as much as we possibly can. Put out and then put out again... when you are tired, seek support, and then give more.

    Your child wants more of you. Your child loves you, as you know, and wants to have an involved, caring relationship with you beyond, what most would consider "normal".

    My daughter started out this way. She was a very, very, needy baby. She was the classic collic, etc... Everyone said I was spoiling her, but my instincts told, me, "no, she needs this". Something in my soul knew...(maybe she had a tragic past life or traumatic passing, or was chemically born needing more... who really knows?)

    You know what, she is not like this now... It wasn't until about age 3 that things got better... She is emotionally well adjusted, sensative, incredibly intellegent and absolutely beautiful. Oh, Shelby, she just needed me more... what a blessing in your life to be able to give this to your child. You will live more, feel more, have sooooo, sooooo much more because you did what you knew was right.

    If your child is not too old yet for this to be uncomfortable, sleep with him/her for a little while before you go to bed. Tell him/her you have always loved him/her, always will, and are so grateful they are here... show as much affection that is comfortable for you and him/her as you can, i.e., gentle pets on the head, drawing letters/shapes on the back and guessing, scratching/tickling arms in turn to songs on the radio... you know, just like when you spent the night with a good friend as a kid.

    Continue doing all you do, go the extra mile again, get support, and hang in there;-)


    Peace, Health, and Happiness Are
    Lastearthling
     
  8. Shelby

    Shelby New Member

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    Sorry that I have not been able to respond sooner, we have been having trouble with our ISP and it is causing HEADACHES!!

    I appreciate all of the insightfull responses. Just to add some more pieces to the puzzle: yes, I am married to my children's father. He is a stay at home dad during the day, which is fantastic. We are very involved with the kids. we read, play games, go on outings etc...

    I can relate to the being about 2 years behind his age group in social skills. When I spoke of dangerous behaviors, examples include just out of the blue hitting another student for NO REASON! the teachers are thinking this is his attempt to "connect with the other kid's/be one of the guys" and he just doesn't have the skills to do it appropriately. there is not violence in our home and he does not display violence here. it is not seen as malicious either. He will run away from the teacher when she tells him to line up with the other kids and will run down the stairs and out the door! He will absent mindedly swing scissors around in the classroom or throw things. IMPULSIVELY and without any type of provocation.

    We are very much looking into social skills counseling, and yes, have scheduled him to go through a battery of testing. We will continue to explore ALL the options available and do what is best. Thanks for all your input.

    I still wonder about past life connections, and think it is quite interesting theory. if there is some kind of past life regression "therapy" I would be interested in exploring it, both as the mom of an "ADHDer" and a past Life Regression therapist.


    ------------------
    "What we do in Life, echos in eternity"
     
  9. Meridian

    Meridian Guest

    Shelby!
    Good luck, let us know what happens with the past life regression, I'm very interested!!
     
  10. Lastearthling

    Lastearthling Senior Registered

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    Dear Shelby,

    From the things you are describing, it sounds as if he is unintentionally disruptive, and yet ammused by the consequences of his actions none-the-less, like stumbling onto a new discovery. Action-reaction. Physical games with large movements and interactive type responses might interest him (like ball games).

    Is he sincerely sorry when he realizes he has hurt someone else? Does he not seem able to connect his actions to others before he plays them out, only later to feel bad about them? If so, he may require more verbal bonding with an adult. Like, carrying him on your hip again and explaining everything you are doing and thinking as you do it.

    i.e., When doing little things like the dishes, have him sit on the counter next to you for a few minutes and help you dry the plastic items; explain why you tuck the towel deep into the cups, so that little drops of water are not missed, etc. With these types of parent interactions, it might help him to relate general actions with their reactions better. Maybe even questioning him before you do something, like: "I am going to dry the insides of these cups, even thought they look dry on the outside, why do you think I am going to do this? What would happen if I didn't?" (Because some water may be hidden and did not dry yet, and perhaps this will attract bugs, or the cups might get mold growing on them) Even thought this example is simple, it is still another opportunity for him to follow your logic and anticipate a complete picture.

    He may be chemically imbalanced, he may be slightly sociapathic (not in the evil sense, rather, just he has to think it threw first before he feels it), or maybe he is a new soul to this world that is really learning all about sharing on this physical plane with others. Or it could just be that he needs special care and nurturing because he has had past lives that did not provide him with that... who knows for sure?

    I know that drug therapies may seem attractive, however, from what I have seen with the kids I've worked with, it only mellows the problem for the adults and post pones the emotional development for the child until a later date; it basically sets the child up for chemical dependency for the rest of his life, like any drug. If he can be taught while young how to work with his energy instead of fighting it, he might be able to avoid these monitarily expensive, emotionally expensive , physically expensive , drugs (like ritalin sp? and later prozac, etc.).

    My husbands mother used to tell me when the kids were acting up that I should exercise them. I thought, well they play outside, isn't that enough? But, I noticed, when I told them, in a playful, authoritative voice,

    "Ok now, you must do 10 kangaroo jumping jacks for that offense!

    And you, you must do 10 leopard leaps for your offense!"

    The kids just loved it! They love it when I make a game out of a reprimand (of course this is only for minor things where you are more interested in distracting them, like a restless child who is bumping into things or just getting into everything).

    Best of luck to you, Shelby

    Health, Peace, and Happiness are with you;-)

    Lastearthling

    [This message has been edited by Lastearthling (edited 04-03-2001).]

    [This message has been edited by Lastearthling (edited 04-03-2001).]
     
  11. Susan V

    Susan V New Member

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    Please read this, trust me: I can relate to your journey so well. I am a mom of a son with ADHD and I am a clincial social worker who has seen many kids with this disability. You sound like me about 10 years ago when my son was in grade school. And I feel for you. Sounds like you are still in the throws of it so maybe I can help by sharing what I have learned.

    I was also very resistant to the diagnosis of ADHD even though all the signs were there. The school never suggested it as they are not allowed to do so. But I could tell something was different about him compared to other kids. I didn't want to consider usual ADHD medication so took him to a naturopath. We tried a range of herbals and amino acids and a host of other things. Spent years and a boatload of money. Nothing changed.

    I also blamed the schools and thought schools needed to be different to reach kids with these issues. We tried 2 different elementary schools for him with different educational.models, including one that was "looser" and alternative. Still nothing changed. So I eventually homeschooled him for 2 years in 4th and 4th grade. We had a great experience doing that, but in seeing his issues close up, it became very clear to me that he really had ADHD.

    So I reluctantly consulted with a psychaliatrist and had him tested. There is good attentional testing that can be done to show exactly what is going on in the brain - it's not guesswork. And it all came back very positive for ADHD. So we started Adderall and oh my, the difference was clear right away. He was so much more able to focus and learn. Like night and day. I wish we had done it sooner.

    He returned to school for middle school and his teachers had no idea he had ADHD. He's a model student and now doing well in high school. He is not perfect though - has some issues tracking homework and taking tests. Eventually got him on a 504 plan which has helped. He struggles in classes still, even though he is smart. Organization becomes more essential, but harder, in high school and that's even more challenging for ADHD kids. But he is so much more successful than he wouldve been without treatment.

    So here's my 2 cents from a mom who has been there. ADHD is a very REAL disability. Very real. Its not a product of bad schools, bad parenting or a bad society. Yes, we could be more understanding as a society, sure. But the truth is - we don't live on farms or in the hunter-gatherer days anymore. People do have to learn how to tote the line, sit still and focus. Future jobs are not going to be lenient just because an employee has ADHD. And we do a disservice to ADHD kids by exporting the "blame" elsewhere instead of getting treatment for our kids. Kids are happier being successful and having the tools to accomplish that. We spun in circles for years, like you, are so glad we finally gave medication a try.

    Therefore, I do recommend you consult with a child psychologist or child psychiatrist and get testing done. Doesn't hurt. Then you can decide from there. You may find new options available that could make an important difference.

    But going as you are now will.probably put him at risk for some real teenage issues when hormones set in and impulse control lessens. Common for teens, but more so for ADHD kids, ESPECIALLY for those not treated. I've seen that in a couple of other kids I think likely have ADHD, but aren't medicated. They put their parents through hell. I think my son is doing much better because he has a medication that keeps his impulses in check. So, take it from me - be open to meds. Really. It could be vital for his future.
     
    GreyReynard likes this.
  12. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Welcome to the forum Susan, your message will surely help a future reader. Thank you for telling your story about your son, it would be great if the causes could be determined and eradicated. The occurrence seems to have increased in the last few decades.
     

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