Civil War Confusion (merged)

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by violet, May 18, 2002.

  1. violet

    violet New Member

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    Hello everyone!
    I must say that I adore this forum! That said, I was wondering whether or not anyone was a person in a past life who they felt directly went against who they are in this life?
    Allow me explain. All of my life I have been greatly intrigued by the Civil War South (In America that is). Ever since I was old enough to walk and try on clothes I have been obsessed with the clothing of that period. For every Halloween I was always a Southern Belle. I started collecting replicated dresses from that time period when I was 5. I would force my friends to play dress up not with my mothers pearls or high heals, but with hoopskirts and corsets! As I became older I would convince my friends to pretend that we were in the South just before the Civil War broke out. We would give ourselves old-fashioned names, dress up, and occaisonally go to reinactments. I was obsessed with everything about the time period. I was never interested in the North, but only the South during this time. I was fascinated with large plantations and everything that went along with it. Even the word "confederate" held some special meaning to me although I could not explain it. Just looking at the confederate flag made me feel something, although this too I cannot explain.
    So I am greatly interested in the antebellum south, this is perfectly fine. The only trouble is that I am African American and I feel as if I am tearing my self apart whenever I think of this probable past life. I firmly believe that I lived during this time and that I was not the same "race" as I am now. Namely, during my civil war life I was of European descent instead of African descent. Now to me, the idea of race holds little meaning to me and I rarely think about it except when I think of this past life. It is difficult because a part of me HATES the confederate flag while another part feels oddly connected to it. I love the South, and yet because of parts of its history I despise it. My relationship with the South is one big contradiction! My friends, well the ones that don't think the reincarnation idea is insane, find my story quite interesting. I too find it interesting, however it is driving me crazy! Does anyone have any similar stories that they are willing to share or does anyone have any advice as to how I can make peace with this. Thanks! Sorry this was so long! I actually have more, but I didn't want to take up space!
    ~violet
     
  2. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Welcome Violet,

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Your feelings are very interesting to me. May I ask if you have had visions, dreams or regressions that also suggest a past life in the South?

    I remember being a black woman/slave in the South during the Civil War - this could be interesting.

    ------------------
    Deborah

    If I could make a statement about what is real, the best I could do, is tell you how I feel.
     
  3. violet

    violet New Member

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    Hi Deborah,
    I haven't had any past life regressions done but I have had visions and dreams. The most recent one I had was a quick dream of me walking down the steps of a big plantation house with a man. I remember that I was wearing lacy white gloves, the kind that has the fingers cut off, and my hair was pulled back into two braids and looped together, in sort of a Heidi-ish style. The odd thing is that the girl in the dream looked exactly like me as I do now, however I knew that that was not really how I looked back then, that it was probably only so that I was able to identify myself in the dream.
    Also sometimes while I awake I will have quick flashes of something. Some quick flashes I have had include that of a large bedroom, a vanity, a house, slave quarters, a dinning room, and a porch. I also feel a strong connection to South Carolina and Georgia.
    Have you had any regressions or visions and dreams? You're right, this could prove to be very interesting!
    ~Violet
     
  4. Jerry Johnson

    Jerry Johnson Senior Registered

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    Violet, you should investigate the idea that your decision to live an African American life carried with it a sense of guilt. Your soul has probably had difficulty answering to itself for perceived wrongs in the antebellum south. Yet your intentions were exactly the opposite. You assuredly wanted to live the genius of African American Experience.

    Let me give you an example from a white teenager of the fifties living in Chicago. My friends and I were interested in Jazz. In 1954, we went to the Du Sable Hotel, in the heart of the south side, to seek advice about where to take our dates for real Jazz. Everyone in the place had a suggestion for us! Skip ten years.

    I drove to Florida in 1963, for the first time, to visit my inlaws in Miami. WE stopped for a crummy Cheeseburger and witnessed Jim Crow for the first time.
    Forty years later, the revulsion is still there. Yet, the adult Chicago of 1954 was profoundly Jim Crow. We 17 year olds were simply ignorant of such things. WE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IGNORANT. WE did not understand because we had not yet compromised our ideals.


    Your descriptions suggest you were born into the planter class. Think about this. What did Jefferson, Washington, Hancock the triangle trader and Ben Harrison V decide to do in their next life.

    The aristocratic planter class dictated American policy until the the Civil War. They annexed Texas with the proviso that Texas may split into 5 states to make sure southern states predominated in the Congress.To do this they started a war of aggression against their neighbor Mexico!

    The Yankee was not much better. They provided the shipping and money for the Triangle Trade. Think about John Brown! He triggered one of the worst civil wars of all time. Yet he was a great idealist! More than a million people died. What did the soul of John Brown do to forgive himself, maybe even congratulate himself? What I am saying is this, and it is really of paramount importance. The great problem of Earth is that reincarnating humanoids have a profound inability to forgive themselves. It is the source of most all of our problems! Hell is the inability to forgive ourselves.

    I am just inventing here, but immagine the possibity that Dr. King was once Bedford Forrest. At first, this is a repugnant idea! A deeper thinking of the idea is that the possibility is the highest of the highest! Bedford Forrest grew milleniums in a single life! What will the klan murder's think of themselves "back home". If they do it right, they will forgive themselves. Only they can do this.

    You experienced the profound experience of being born in a profoundly flawed so called race and class!

    You can teach us much! I was a slave in ancient Rome. I killed , revolted and killed some more. I asked my guides for the privelege of fighting slavery till it is defeated. Slavery still abounds in real terms. I was given my wish! My success rate is quite acceptable. Not the unachievable, but good!

    Our work is still not done. When all forgive themselves, we will evolve a truly advanced and just civilization. To do so, we must remember our real selves.


    Your post was marvelous!
     
  5. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi Violet,

    Jerry - you said -

    There are MANY reasons for a soul to be drawn from one life to another. FEELINGS and EMOTIONS are key -- but guilt is not always the reason.

    Violet - being drawn to your life now could also be a result of very fond and loving memories you had of a nanny-slave who cared for you --and whom you felt was a mother to you. This is of course just another possibility and only you now what has drawn you from one life to another.

    It's late and I am baby-sitting my grandson -but in the morning I'll share with you some of my memories in the South.. the Civil War and explain my own position regarding what drew me from my life to the next etc..

    ------------------
    Deborah

    If I could make a statement about what is real, the best I could do, is tell you how I feel.
     
  6. argentelunae

    argentelunae Senior Registered

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    Dear Violet,

    Deborah made a very profound and honest statement when she said:

    "There are many reasons for a soul to be drawn from one life to another. FEELINGS and EMOTIONS are key--but guilt is not always the reason."

    Guilt isn't always the foundation for each and every reincarnation we have. If it was, then we haven't learned much. And each life we do have is it's own lesson.

    There are so many variables as to who you were in that life, I could offer a suggestion as well, but ultimately you're the one who could honestly provide the answer as to whether or not you were a planter's daughter, or perhaps a very light complected African American much favored by the plantation owner and/or his family.

    I will say this, I completely understand the feeling of being torn between loving the Antebellum south, yet reviling it for all it's hypocrasies, prejudices and the insitution of slavery that the old south of that day propagated. For me, this stems from the fact that I too had a life growing up on a plantation.

    There are indeed intense mixed emotions concerning a memory I had as a 7 year old from then. It started out as just jotting down notes about a particular memory and turned into something 15 pages long. But to reiterate, the key here is emotion.

    One thing you can do is to write down your memories (and this forum is a great place for that) and keep a journel. Think about each memory you have and how it makes you feel right down to the depth of your heart and soul. Sometimes writing is it's own therapy. Hang in there, and know there are plenty of people here you can talk to.

    Many Blessings,

    Argente
     
  7. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Thanks Argente. I can say, what led me to a life time as a slave - had nothing to do with guilt! It had everything to do with what I held within. Thoughts - feelings -- and emotions.

    Yes, Violet, I have done several regressions and my past life as Clara surfaces even in meditations. A lot of my memories from that time are traumatic, I was taken from my family and sold when I was only 8 years old. Yet there are a few memories that I hold dear to my heart and cherish. Small things..little details.

    I thought I would share an interesting memory with you -- as far as perspectives go - I would be interested in your take on it. The child..I was carrying then..is my daughter Jennifer now; then and now -I hold her dear to my heart.

    1993
    I considered myself to be one of the lucky ones...working in the house, dressed in clean clothes, fed good food and my sleeping quarters were down stairs by the kitchen.

    ------------------
    Deborah

    If I could make a statement about what is real, the best I could do, is tell you how I feel.

    [This message has been edited by Deborah (edited 05-22-2002).]
     
  8. valen1

    valen1 New Member

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    A few thoughts on the Civil War


    I am still pretty new to this board. I came to reincarnation through an unexplainable affinity for the American Civil War. With the help of a regessionist, I uncovored a civil war life as a union soldier in a New York regiment. My name was Henry, and I was pretty young ( not yet 25) when killed at the battle of Gettysburg on July 2, 1863.

    We need not trip over ourselves bad mouthing or belaboring the sins of one side or the other in the Civil War. There was plenty of suffering to go around. It is enough that the war ended and America was once again a single nation. Today, I live in Virginia. How is that for irony? It is all about learning and growing. Every one of my friends from the Civil War is perfectly safe and alive again today. I used to cry sometimes when this would occur to me, the relief was so great. I will see them again in this life or the Spirit World. Any mistakes we made will be amended by our own choosing of future lives. It is not for others to judge the rightness or error of what happened. Some of yesterday's slave holders chose to be be poor black children in the inner cities....and some of today's white, affluent suburban children may very well have been slaves in the Antebellum south. It is all being attended to by a power and wisdom we can not grasp.
     
  9. Jerry Johnson

    Jerry Johnson Senior Registered

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    Oi gevalt, am I out in another galaxy. All this higher wisdom stuff must be a con to enslave the soul! Otherwise, why bother about liberty. We have free will but some geezer alpha dog god hides from us waiting to bite a chunk of venial soul out of us. Sometimes the bite is mortal too!

    It cannot be. If God incarnated he would do the same brilliant things and dumb things we do. Of course heshe could be an amoeba too! Maybe even a crabby Tortoise Shell cat. If this is not true, then god is just another elitest apologist!

    Teachers from on high are responsible for most of the world's humanoid problems.This is obviously a correct statement. Our situation is such that the teachings failed! If the teachings succeeded our problems would not exist! If we misused our free will , we did not get the message. We fire such teachers! We seem to be on the verge of a religious war of extermination. The India Pakistan thing is 100% religion. The middle east thing-ditto! As to the West versus Islam, it is a virtually certain war to the death.

    When God says you cannot understand, you are being told a tale by a cosmic grifter! Of course, this is NOT God, but clergy of state religions.

    First you have free will, but only when you do dumb things. If you do great things, the old boy helped you out!

    Then there are the peasants on their knees , swearing a statute of wood is weeping! If we are not all alone, please stop the wood statute stuff and zap a few political nuts before we see the real final scene from "On the Beach"----"There is still time -Brother." ...er God!

    In the end, it is time the old boy got canned! We need a celestial Republic! I think he wants a long vacation and is waiting for humanoids to mature. Trouble is, Terra is one quintillian of the Universe.

    Pardon the diatribe please! We are looking at a world meltdown. When I get frightened for my family, my old pal H.L. Mencken pops out!
     
  10. argentelunae

    argentelunae Senior Registered

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    Dear Deb, you are more than welcome.

    You're account of Clara sent chills up and down my spine as I took in the full effect of how your life was like, and the emotions you felt about the planter and his wife. It really made me wish I could smack the wife off the side of the head.

    Valen put it so beautifully, there is irony in life. Where Valen's life during the Civil War was that of a Northerner and now lives in Virginia, my life was that of a Southern planter's son in N. Carolina, I had served in the CSA (surgical unit), and later switched sides (synchronicity). But in this life I am living well north of the Mason/Dixon.

    Of all the wonderful memories I retain of a childhood growing up in a loving family, there are more than enough of those of the complete opposite. One of which was seeing a slave auction at the age of 7. I had no idea at that age such things existed, having been sheltered up until then. The entire memory recall, the auctioneer, the buyers which included a very well dressed African American man (indepth research has proven and confirmed that there were African American slave owners in the south), a group of human beings being througholy suppressed and the degradation they suffered, left me doubled over a toilet wretching and crying.

    I realized that memory was to lay the foundation in that life, for my own beliefs of how people, any people should never be treated by anyone ever. Perhaps I should state, it reinforced my own beliefs about how inhumane we are.

    In this life, I'm a white female, who is also half Jewish, half Christian. Although being white puts me in a majority, being a female Jewish/Christian puts me in a minority, but only if I allow that to happen. I've since learned as well, that I needn't bear arms in the physical sense of the word in order to make a point about how wrong prejudice and intolerance is. I have a mouth and a voice, and I know how to use them. I don't need to stand on a pulpit, all I have to do is take it one person at a time, and if I reach one person, my life now will not be in vain.

    Eileen
     
  11. angel1

    angel1 New Member

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    Violet

    i hope one day people can look at the confederate flag and not turn it into a racial issue. I am a proud southern Texan and I love the confederate Flag and i am not prejudice. my ancestors fought proudly under that flag and so did many Black Americans, so if you feel a strong connection to the flag don't be ashamed because the color of your skin. you obviously lived in that era of time and you should embrace it and i think if schools would teach history right then people wouldn't think of the south as some racist slave holding state with a Flag. I love the south and I love may southern hertage and the flag without having to feel guilt of racism. didn't mean to get into a rant.
     
  12. violet

    violet New Member

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    Wow! Thanks to all of you for your wonderful responses to my post! It is something that is difficult for me to deal with and I suppose I will have to go through and try to find some way to make peace with it. I was also very intrigued by those of you who posted memories of lives during the Civil War era. Thanks again!
    It is still hard for me to imagine that I was a person who was connected to or possibly even was someone who owned people. The fact that today I am one of the people that would of been owned is even more difficult to grasp. Just the thought of millions of innocent people living in servitude makes me sick to my stomach. While I do watch movies and read books about the era because I believe I was reincarnated from then, I often skip over the parts dealing with slavery because if I do not I will most likely burst into tears. Is this my soul trying to deal with the horrendous actions of my past self? Perhaps. Or am I just a very sensitive person whose emotional chords are pulled when I read about any type of cruelty? This is possible as well (particularly since I have been known to cry at certain hallmark comercials). I suppose that in this life I will never know for sure. But your comments and stories have helped a bit and for that I say a big Thanks!
    I would also like to apologize if I offended anyone by my comments about partially detesting the confederate flag. While I do realize that many people fought and died under the flag the fact that the those people also fought for slavery does bother me. (although I know some southerners at the time were not racist and that slavery was not the only reason for the Civil War.) It would be wonderful if people today could look at the flag and not see racism, but unfortunetly because of the relation to slavery I doubt this will happen. Being an African American I have many relatives and friends who despise the flag. However I also have numerous European American friends from the South who love the flag. (Its not fun, when those two groups get together) As a person, who has lived in both the North and South as a "white" person and a "black" person I feel I can say that perhaps both sides need to be compassionate to the other. African Americans need to realize that there is more to the flag then slavery, and European Americans need to realize that the issue of slavery is associated with flag and is therefore offensive to some. Sorry that was so long, just had to make that clear and apologize to those I might have offended.
    Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks again everyone and if you have anything else to share I'd love to hear it!
    ~Violet
     
  13. White_Rose

    White_Rose Guest

    Violet: I don't know how to say this without offending some people but it must be said.
    You MIGHT, just might have decided to be black in this life because of some form of guilt. Or because a spiritual entity told you to or somthing. Don't take it the wrong way, because i don't want you to- I dont want any animosity running around on here. I just think we should put all options out in the open, flying through the air like bubbles...

    I do however, largely agree with Deborah. But I still think that sometimes negative emotions such as guilt or resentment (me) do have an impact on our seperate, incarnations along with the good, but not as often. I just want to say- It MIGHT be as Jerry said. I am thirteen, (still far from an idiot) so I might be wrong, but I just had such an overwelming urge to say somthing.
    I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I didn't mean to.

    ------------------
    *whats love?*
    Hazel



    [This message has been edited by White_Rose (edited 05-24-2002).]
     
  14. violet

    violet New Member

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    Hey White Rose,
    Nope I'm not offended at all. Thanks for the input!
     
  15. Tamarisk

    Tamarisk New Member

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    Hi Violet,

    Just a little thought. It could be that you were not only a southern lady but the daughter of a house slave. It was known to happen that very pale(almost white) children were born of slave/owner relationships. And in some cases those children were raised as white.


    ------------------
    To love you but once is a thought I shall not think. For I shall hold you in my heart for every life I live.
     
  16. sophie

    sophie Senior Registered

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    Hello All, this particular thread is fascinating to me, because I fought in the Civil War for the north. I have had vivid memories since childhood of being very young in the war, and very confused about what the war was really about. My legs were badly injured, and I had to have them amputated from the knees down. I have a raised birth mark on my left knee, and I have had many knee problems in this life. I have also had a bad molar in this life from biting down on a bullet, of all things,(there wasn't anything else to bite on) for the pain while they were cutting. My tooth has been pulled out, and the dentist who pulled out my tooth was the doctor who cut my legs in the war! One of my best friends when I was a child had the same birth mark on her inside knee, and I knew she and I had fought for the north together. My memories are of lying in a tent and many other men were bloody and hurt. I felt confused about why the war was happening, because when I joined the war, I was so enthusiastic about killing the southerners, and I remember being called a yankee at the front lines. Then I felt bad that I hated the southerners, because I realized they were just like me. In this life, I feel sad about intolerance of differences, and have friends from all nations.
    Violet, when you were talking about lives conflicting w/each other, I had a middle eastern life as a man w/a harem. I was abusive to my wives. In this life, I have met many of the souls who were my wives, and they are all women in this life. As soon as I met these people, I had instant recognition, and felt like a man again w/them, even though I'm a woman. I felt love for them, and also guilt and uneasiness. I told some of them what I knew and experienced, and they understood, felt some of the recognition, and I apologized to them for my past behavior. They forgave me and told me they loved me. I feel harems are barbaric, and felt confused when I met these women. But their love and forgiveness has put things to rest for me. I hope you find love and light about your feelings on that life and your life now. Blessings
     
  17. catseye

    catseye Senior Registered

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    Violet,
    I don't really think that guilt is a strong deteminate of the life we choose to live. If I was using guilt to choose this life, I would have chosen a much differnt path. My last life I was a German Nazi. In this life I occassionally feel a sense of guilt but it is not a driving force for my existence. In fact I chose to be born to a rather 'closed minded' (trying to be nice) family who I have spent my life trying to educate that there are good and bad people in every place and time, race and culture have nothing to do with it.
    My first thought as to why you may have chosen to come back in this body.....the woman who was the southern belle may have been a good person, who saw the pain and suffering around her. She may have used her money and position to improve things after the war....you may have just not gotten that far in her life yet. When she came to a close in her life, she chose to see what she could achieve from a totally differnt perspective, and that's why you are you.
    In the past there is always pain and joy, it's easy to concentrate on one and think how bad life is...it is finding the balance that makes us beautiful. make the most of your opportunities.
    catseye
     
  18. Jerry Johnson

    Jerry Johnson Senior Registered

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    I made the guilt observation in an early post to this thread.

    There are near 7 billion humans on this planet. A heavy majority choose lives in the third world where most have never received or made a telephone call. I was thinking about the entire spectrum of choices of souls returning.

    It must be indisputable that something negative motivates most returning souls.When my Dad was born there were a little over 1 billion humans on the planet.That was ninety years ago. I ask you, why would so many return that they imperil the planet? ****ed ignorant it seems to me.

    All of us must make some guilty conclusions in our choices of lives for our current circumstances to occur.

    I have vivid remembrances of a slave life in the Roman Social war. My brother in law remembers me running him through with a short sword. Both remembrances long antedated our meeting. I remember having an implacable will to eradicate slavery. This has carried forward for many lives.

    I got the chance too. In America in the Civil War. The mental woes of this life surrounding the, to me ,fact that I was U.S. Grant have dogged me for thirty years plus. Who the devil would believe me? Who cares? Why would anyone really give a ****, including me. I was chosen for the skills and did my job. Did it well too!

    I have led a productive life without this going to my head as most people think is usually the case. It did not take a long time for me to not really give a hoot what others think. I am a lot like Rittmeister in that regard.

    I have been regressed. Someone else started it by telling me about being G. I can identify hundreds from this life back to the G life. Many are interactive. Once triggered, the memories were filled in and expanded.

    I was 19 almost when Rose Parks got on the buss in Montgomery. That is all the vindication that the boys in blue will ever need.

    I have lived within a hundred miles of Galena all my life. I went there a number of years ago. The residence staff started buzzing about me. They even went over to the register. Every eye followed me around the house. When we left, my wife and friends with us said they certainly saw something.

    Anyway, this is what prompted the guilt suggestion.
     
  19. Jennster

    Jennster Senior Registered

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    Civil War

    hey all, i'm new here! i found some civil war threads, but they were MONTHS old, so i decided to post a brand spanking new one! i have this affinity for the South.. being pulled there. i had a regression where i lived in the south and my boyfriend at the time was leaving for the war. something about the name Brody.. or Brady..
    this guy from my regression, i've also dreamt about him a couple times now, but don't know him YET in this life! ;o) i'm curious to anyone's civil war stories..

    ~jenn

    [This message has been edited by Jennster (edited 10-24-2002).]
     
  20. twostepn

    twostepn Senior Registered

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    Jenn,
    I have a great interest in the War Of Opression, War Between The States, Civil War. I read Anything I can find about it, be it "Blue" or "Gray". May I make a suggestion? You mention "Brody" or "Brady" is prominent un your thoughts. Could it be that a majority of Gen. Hood's army came from central Texas, i.e. Brady, Texas. Could be a location rather than a person in your memories. If I can be of any help, feel free to ask.
    Twostepn
     
  21. KarenF

    KarenF Senior Registered

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    Jennster, I believe there was a very famous photographer of the Civil War, by the name of James Brady. Try Googling that.

    Also try Googling Civil War and Reincarnation together. There's more than one book on the topic.

    You might also be interested in certain posts in threads on famous past lives in this forum...

    Love & peace,
    Karen
     
  22. Jennster

    Jennster Senior Registered

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    2step-
    thank you for your response... that's an interesting point- having brady represent a place.. just for some reason, i'm pretty certain that it's a name.. possibly an abbreviation or part of a name.. not sure. but thank you again for your response!! ;o)
     
  23. Jennster

    Jennster Senior Registered

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    joe- wow.. thanks for your response!! have you researched all this and found information on your prior life?? i wish i could find ANYTHING- any bit of info that correlated with what i believe to be true..
    thanks again- ;o)
     
  24. Jennster

    Jennster Senior Registered

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    karen! wow- thank you!! i will google that tomorrow from work- where the computer is about 291809239 times faster! LOL.. very interesting!!!!
    and i will check out the thread you mentioned.. thank you again!!! ;o)
     
  25. Jennster

    Jennster Senior Registered

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    Nettl- thanks for your response.. man how i wish your memory would trigger something with mine.. ;o) thank you again.. i look forward to reading more and getting to know some of you!!!! ;o)
     
  26. gemdoctor

    gemdoctor Senior Registered

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    Hi! I have attemped past life regression on my own. I did get some short glimpes into what I believe is a past life memory during the civil war. I was a woman, standing on a dirt road, in the mountains of West Virginia on the first "bleep". The second time I was standing in the same area but back off the dirt road and saw civil war soldiers on horse back coming down the road. This scared me and I started to run off to the side through a field with tall grass.I could see the white of my petticoat as I ran as fast as I could, pulling my knees up high through the high grass. My bonnet falling back off my head but still tied around my neck. I am not sure how I knew I was in West Virginia. In fact, at that time, it would have been Viginia. I have experienced other bleeps, all from the same lifetime. I found a website about a historic town in West Virgina that resembled what I had seen during my self hypnosis regression tape. I live in Pennsylvania and actually went to that town (twice now) to check it out in person. I found some VERY interesting things. I plan to return during their bi-anual civil war reinactment next summer. It is weird how I can't seem to get anything with my regression tapes now. Its like I am trying too hard because I desperately want to get more information. I plan on going to a professional for a regression. I am extremely nervous about doing that though and that is why I haven't as of yet. It is all so facinating though!
    Love to you all, gemdoctor
     
  27. Tommy Atkins

    Tommy Atkins Senior Registered

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    American Civil War death

    I haven't been here for some time but felt a need to overwhelming desire to post my recent experiences. I've always been atracted to the period of the American Civil War, ever since I was a boy. Recently. however, my feelings about the era have grown in intensity. Sometimes I'm obsessed with the era and feel closer to it than I do to the present. I listen only to period music now , I see things and know things that I can not express and are only understood by a few other people I've met. I would not bother writiung this except that the intensity of my emotions connected to the time have increased dramactically. I know that I died in that time and where I was hit . I know what kind of man I was but not who. I beleave I died of wounds recieved sometime in 1862, perhaps at Antietam, Chantilly or maybe Frederickesburg even Seccesionville in SC, far from the main theaters of war. THat much I know as well that I was a Union soldier, perhaps a junior officer )or at least a color sergeant because the idea, or memory of my death is vivid to me now. I see myself dieing in a hail of fire from an enemy volley, perhaps rallying my company or in a desparate charge ala the corn field at Antitam, or against Maryes heights at Fredericksburg. Its hard to explain to most people but it seems so real to me. There have been many other things, including the memory of my past wife as she was then, an attachment to General McCllellan thats very period as well as an attachmment to the Union army, especially regiments from New England that is hard to explain. Although of the era of Vietnam, I feel very little about my own time but feel deep feelings about events of 140 some odd years ago I can not explain.
    In my head the events of so far away are as vivid as if they happened yesterday. Thank you for your time.
     
  28. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Welcome to the Forum Tommy.

    I remember well a member whose name was Joe -his member name was different however. He posted memories of the Civil War some time ago. I will see if I can find the thread for you. His was a fascinating case. Please do share more - and feel free to ask questions.

    I remember the Civil War - but I was a black woman, a house slave - so my perspective was very different.
     
  29. yoki

    yoki Senior Registered

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    In a round about way I can understand what you are going through.
    My husband is stuck in WW11, he collects memorabile from that era, reads incessantly about it, and the majority of his friends have the same interest.
    Having seen this go on around me I would say that it is not unusual for a war experience, which is highly charged to stay with those who have lived through them. Not only that but due to the fact that a solders life is cut short, the possibility of leaving behind unfinished business is great.
    I don't have any answers for you as it may take this life to work through your civil war experience .At least you are aware of what's going on and in any physiological work that's half if not more of the battle.
    As for my husband I let him get on with his interest, having hopefully worked through the WW11 drama, and supported a family (something he missed out on then) he will be ready in his next life to move on.
     
  30. Feech

    Feech Senior Registered

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    Antietam! I resonate with that battle, don't know why. I wasn't there that I am aware of. I wrote a paper once on how McClellan could have ended the Civil War right there and blew his chance. Perhaps I clicked with that battle and McClellan because I later looked at a list of those who were killed when the Edmund Fitzgerald went down and there was someone by that name among them. That particular shipwreck is extremely close to home for my soul (although I was not on it; the Fitzgerald went down when I was three in this life). I have this way of falling through the cracks and avoiding wars; during the Civil War I was young, out West and mentally challenged. I do click to the hats the soldiers wore, though, but only when I see them in real life, not in movies. You seem to post here as if from down a long tunnel... I don't know how to explain it... there is something very dark about you concerning this Civil War incarnation... I do not mean evil, or that you or your current life are dark, but rather a darkness surrounding your knowledge of it and how you communicate it. It is as if we are not getting something about you.
     

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