Connections

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Jim78, May 14, 2018.

  1. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    I've not really discussed my earlier incarnations. I've been avoiding discussing them for years. As a result I haven't examined the lessons I needed to learn from those lives. Because of this those lives still contain bite, the memories are more chaotic. They certainly fit into the historical narrative but what I mean is that I've learned since then. I remember the battles and I wonder why I felt compelled to fight. I know it was always about unity but my memories are jumbled up in wave after wave of battling and killing. Why did I have to fight in life after life? Sometimes I think that maybe I'm being too hard on my earlier incarnations. They are almost like a dirty little secret to me.

    I see much commonalities between my two earliest remembered incarnations and this wasn't completely lost to history as one can see from this link:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cogad_Gáedel_re_Gallaib

    I would really appreciate an objective view on my earlier incarnations so if anyone has any feedback it would be greatly appreciated. I'm sick of beating myself up for them. I'd like to know why I incarnated into those lives in the first place. What lessons was I to learn?

    The only thing I know is what I considered a righteous ideal or conflict gave me ambition. I thought that I could reshape the world and I didn't realise that I didn't even know that I had to reshape myself.

    From my modern perspective I see no justification for the battles I fought although I do know what I was thinking at the time.

    This topic could be really embarrassing to me because I will have to talk about my dreams, but maybe its time I journeyed into aspects of my personality that I've been reluctant to go.
     
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  2. Spirit Sword

    Spirit Sword Senior Registered

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    From what I have been told, souls fall into patterns for one of two reasons:

    1) The soul is set on learning a specific lesson that is never successfully learnt.

    2) The soul appreciates the stability of a pattern, and takes comfort in similar events.

    As the two of us have already discussed, you are not the only one who fell into a rut. When I was researching a FPL from seven or eight centuries ago, I was shocked to find most of the same patterns that I had already experienced in my present existence. But I take solace in the fact that my soul seems to be aware that this pattern needs to be broken, as so many elements of my life were perfectly arranged to lead me to past life information and the same people/situations that will help me to get onto a new path.

    You have to think about how much society has changed. We are all products of our surroundings to a degree. Social attitudes were once very different when it came to conquest and violence. As this attitude shifted and people were raised in increasingly more pacifist mindsets, many people changed away from this. Now we have also been raised into a more pacifist outlook and can no longer see the personal or cultural justifications for violence we might have once held. That does not mean certain actions were not (or did not seem to be) the right choice for that situation, we just cannot adequately judge the past through a modern lens.

    Think of it like this: you were working at a company that manufactured a product that nobody (including yourself) knew was toxic. After the information came to the surface, you were disgusted and left the job, as you now knew better. Would you beat yourself up years later for the harm that the product caused, even if you didn't know? Probably, at least a little bit. Should you? No. You did not know.

    Now we know. Let's go down to the trade school together and find something new.
     
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  3. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    1) My soul seems to have had to experience all aspects of war before I realised the futility of war. My current life has been the hardest challenge because, for once, I learned that war isn't the way to go.

    2) I doubt my soul takes comfort in war but it is true that I never feel as alive as I do when I'm in conflict. I thrive on it. I fear that that makes me a negative person.

    I'm lucky, because in my current life I have broken the pattern. Even with all the various forms of recording available in the 21st century I reckon a future incarnation of me would find it harder to research my current life than my past ones because this time on the wheel I decided to keep out of histories way.

    Maybe in my current life I feel so lost because I need to take a new path and I don't know what that path should be.

    People may have been raised with more pacifist mindsets but I haven't. I'm still an aggressive, warlike individual even though a strong anti war vibe has run through my current life. That all went out the window though, when I was presented with a personal fight. I think my soul was ready to learn my lessons about the ultimate futility and evil of conflict. In various lives I've fought for glory, for country and for love. Fighting for love showed me that fighting is never OK. I just wonder why it took me millennia to learn this. Am I stupid?

    Your right. I didn't know better, but in every life my ego told me that destiny was compelling me to speak for many. I thought I could change the world through sheer force of will.

    I wasn't aware that this was my ego until in my current life when I spoke for many and God didn't answer. I realised that my souls journey was never special. It was just my own crap to deal with. In my later lives I channeled my ego and ambition through Republican ideals so I can find some positives in those ideals, yet in remembering my earlier incarnations I feel naked without those ideals. I'm more aware of my ego and my manifesting my dreams in those earlier lives than in my later ones. I have no modern, humane ideals to pin onto those memories.

    The through line through all of my lives though is unity. I always sought to better the world and further humanity. I just though right up until five years ago that this could be done through violent means. I was wrong and the older my PL memories are the more wrong that I feel I've been.

    After my brother was murdered in my tenth century life I engaged in some very vicious battles. It wasn't simply a matter of revenge but it was what brought forth the viciousness in me. There were many prongs to what I was doing however. In that sense my brother Mathgamains murder was comparable to how I reacted when I was confronted with my old loves dilemma in my current life. I went on the rampage both times, but in a calculating way. I've always kept my head about me in conflict but I find it sobering that a thousand years after Mathgamains death I was still reacting in the same way.

    I'm lucky though insofar as I havent been challenged in conflict since I decided not to engage in war. I fear that if I ever am challenged again I'll revert back to my old behaviours. I have a genius for reigning my passions into something violently constructive. I really can't see any angles beyond fighting on various levels in various different forms.

    I resent have learned that combating evil creates evil because I am at a loss as to how to change my nature. I am who I am. I fear that that makes me an evil soul.

    I'd love to find something new. I'd love to know that my talents can be positive. I just can't see it. All I know is soldiering.
     
  4. Spirit Sword

    Spirit Sword Senior Registered

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    No soul is evil, Jim.

    A person can be tainted by aggression or war fervor or any other negative trait. That does not negate the fact that everything in the universe is made of love and light.

    You want to change, and that is the first step. Perhaps you make it through this life without engaging in any more conflict. Or perhaps you try, but something comes up and you are compelled to fight once again. Either way, you are on that path, and it will make it easier for you to go farther down that path in future incarnations.

    But do not confuse what is affecting you for what you are. Someone once told me that we need to stop saying that a person is depressed or schizophrenic and instead say they suffer from depression or schizophrenia. This separates the person from the affliction. You are not an evil soul, you are a soul who has been compelled to evil behavior.
     
  5. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Thanks Spirit Sword.

    This morning I woke up thinking about an ex friend who interfered between myself and a woman I loved years ago and I started fantasising about what I wanted to do to him at the time. Slamming his face off walls, throwing him into oncoming traffic etc. I barely restrained myself from doing it at the time but even now, years later, I still think about it sometimes.

    At lunchtime I thought about another ex friend and neighbour. I don't know how he found out because I never told him, but he went around telling my other neighbours that I think I'm the reincarnation of Mick Collins. To believe in reincarnation here is in the same bracket as saying you were kidnapped by aliens. Also Mick Collins is considered Ireland's answer to George Washington. I never told anyone except close friends and family. I would never in a million years have told my neighbours. It gets back to my now and again that I'm considered a nutjob. I thought about this ex friend and I wanted to go to his home and beat the hell out of him.

    Why do I still have violent impulses after all I've been through? After all I've learned? I feel trapped by my very own self. I feel that's there's no hope for me and that its impossible for me to change.

    My affliction is a talent and an impulse for violence. I haven't been in a fight in years but the thoughts are still there just the same and now that a light has been shined on my doing evil in the name of what's good and righteous my desires when I am enraged at certain people feel like intrusive thoughts.

    I'm trapped by my very own self.
     
  6. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    As unfortunate as it is, it often takes a ridiculously long time to let go of deep feelings or habits. Even though it has been forty-seven years since my "accident", about your whole lifetime, if I recall correctly. The hardest part for me was the first five years which seems about the average from what I've learned from others. There eventually comes a time for acceptance of yourself and the feeling of being OK with the way things have turned out.

    Just today I saw a nice little sports-car that led me to remembering the one I had back in the 1960's that was so fun to drive. I know that I have the choice to recall those memories and relive some of that pleasure OR I can feel cheated because I can no longer have those "real" experiences now. Yes, you are trapped in a sense; it is you (and only you) who truly controls Jim's feelings. I think you're doing a very good job of it if that makes any difference:)
     
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