Do you ever regret knowing?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Tinkerman, Aug 25, 2004.

  1. Tinkerman

    Tinkerman Administrator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I guess we all have good days and bad. But it seems the bad ones always flatten my spirit. I always come back and ask myself why do I know these things. To put it bluntly sometimes I think I'd be better off not knowing about my past lives. It has created a lot of discord. Seems somedays my only goal is to trudge through it, make it one more step. It almost always follows a daydream or memory of something that happened 105 years ago. Living where I do, I see places from the past and people too. And those people make me hurt all over again. I know too much about the tragedy I went through. The one person whom I mourned an entire life for is here in this life. I don't get the point...I don't get the reason. Are these burdens suppose to make us see something or learn something. Oh I know the books all say thats the case...but practically speaking this sucks and I ache. It's like weeping over that grave all over again. And the strange thing is, given the tenent of reincarnation, you'd think I'd be happy that all is ok and that I'm not seperated from them after all. Sometimes I wish the River Lithe would've been a little deeper where I crossed. But then other days I feel blest at the magnitude of it all.
     
  2. manduh

    manduh ~I love this place~

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    I am so sorry that your having such a hard time. Just remember your living this life for one reason or another. And be blessed you remember some of you past lives. Some of us including me remember nothing.

    Good luck!

    Amanda
     
  3. Aaron

    Aaron Senior Registered

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    Tinkerman, what do you think is going on in the present that draws you back into the pain of your other lives?
     
  4. AK6

    AK6 Probationary

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    I don't regret a thing. If I never knew, I would have never been able to relieve some negative experiences. Even if that meant living through them all over again. Even if I didn't know why for so long.

    I don't pretend to know the reason for incarnation in general. But I find my own reason. And that's enough.
     
  5. AK6

    AK6 Probationary

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    I know, you wonder why you still ache from things that happened lifetimes ago. Like one might wonder why they still react to things that happened when they were young.

    I wondered that all my life. Why did my life have such negative experiences in it. It would seem in telling people the pain I was going through, I would get the response of why was I feeling this way. After all, I didn't have it that bad. Like there is a rating system to painful experiences. And then those people, Lord love them. We're only coming up with answers according to what we know. But sometimes someone no matter how caring they are simply cannot come up with an answer to your problems. Lord love them for trying.

    I guess all I could say is what I've experienced. It's not an answer. I had to carry some hidden pain until one day something moved within and it was gone. It simply takes time. Just don't end your life before your time.
     
  6. Feech

    Feech Senior Registered

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    Tinkerman, I often feel as you have described.
     
  7. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi Tinkerman,

    I think the wisest thing I ever heard -regarding healing, which will come eventually when we experience trauma and pain, is .....

    .......there is often complete disruption before there is healing. Look to the healing, not to the wound.

    I have also come to believe that it is my responsibility-that I CHOOSE how I feel -- regarding life.....in the here and now; And if I focus my attention on the pain, the negative, or the fear -it only magnifies it. If I focus however on compassion, forgiveness and love........then there is healing, and spiritual growth. The reason for -remembering past lives is not static, IMO - it is always in flux, in motion and ever-expanding. I have learned to go with the flow -as much as I can. A burden is only a burden -if you choose to see your experience -through that lense. ;)
     
  8. curious_girl

    curious_girl Curious Member

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    What I've learned from negative past life experiences is this:
    take your time for them, listen to them, feel them,
    reliving them might put them into perspective.
    It might feel weird to be absorbed for a while by the past,
    but it's only temporary, try to see it as self therapy,
    or as an healing experience like Deborah says.
    It also might help to say sometimes: this is my past, this isn't my life anymore.

    Some past life experiences can be very intensive and unsettling,
    but if you take your time, if you let things flow and go,
    things get clearer.

    I'm still in touch with my past life,
    but for me the past is the past,
    I've learned a lot from it and so did he.
    We actually helped eachother by remembering,
    he moved on and so did I.

    Curious Girl.
     
  9. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    *S*S*S*S

    Hi Tinkerman,

    How are you feeling today? What do you think of what members shared with you regarding your question? Did it help?
     
  10. Tinkerman

    Tinkerman Administrator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the kind words. Somedays just seem to pile up and the other day was one. There are only a few people that I have shared my story with and thus in this little remote place there are few people to lean on. One was the person to whom I've shared other lives with, my soulmate. We each have memories and for a long time we shared a special bond. Time, distance and circumstance in this life seperate us. For a time they were a resourse to listen and understand. The only other credible believer was the regression therapist 7 hours away. It is comforting to be able to let go sometimes and those that "know" are too far away. I guess I was cyber-leaning.

    Rationally speaking, I am greatful for the gift of knowing. I've learned many lessons on the road here. It would have been a great resourse, had I known this while still a police officer. Thinking back, it would have bolstered my perspectives in a lot of ways.

    Bluehayze the triggers are all around me. I can walk down Main Street and look at empty lots and know that's where the old drug store stood. I can look at a photograph of my family from then and almost hear them. Its beautiful and comforting sometimes but other times I want to hold them and speak there names and tell them things. I have a young son who was born after I retired here to Kansas.(Coincidence?) He is the same soul of the youngest of my boys that died of the flu in the early 1900s. His photograph then and now are identical. Only the youngster then died at 4.

    What it boils down to is I'm still learning about it all. This journey has been thirty years in the making with some amazing situations and facts. And it'll be a while before its all rendered to a sanity that does not bog me down. Twenty years ago I'd 'a told you its all nuts. I am a complete believer now. But as Deborah said below there will be a lot of disruption before healing. This life and this "saddness" are nothing compared to what I went through then. I am eager to continue learning and hope to return for more regressions. I have been encouraged to write about it and someday will.

    I guess i was just curious how others truggle with the reality of it all. peace.
     
  11. Artzab

    Artzab AS2

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    Tinkerman, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I have gone through a time when I would rather not know about my past lives, but then I find that my past lives teach me about myself and who I am. I know it's hard to do, but at a certain point, you have to let go of the past. I've struggled with letting go of the past for about 5 years, so I know how hard it can be. Even now, I feel like I've only gone halfway in letting go of my past. Someone said to me awhile ago in another thread that the best thing to do is to confront the past life/lives. In my experience, sometimes the hardest part of reincarnation is letting go of the past.
     
  12. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    HI Tinkerman,

    It has been a few years now. How do you feel about remembering now? If you care to share that is. ;)
     
  13. Tinkerman

    Tinkerman Administrator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi Deborah, My apologies for not responding quicker. The truth is I read your question the day you wrote it...but have been mulling it around in my head since. I guess trying to find the words to explain my thoughts should be a professional perk, but honestly....this is a tough one, filled with hedging and doubt.

    To answer it concisely: NO. No I don't regret knowing. It has forced upon me a perspective that borders (to some) on the fringe of sanity. I see the stream of life as we know it, and understand it flows well beyond the cognizant boundaries we see and touch everyday. How wonderful!

    Yet the impetus that brought me here was passionate emotional sadness and despair. It was the waking key. Time allows perspective, perspective allows understanding...and the best by-product of it all is understanding.

    A short story: I have been a baseball coach for many years. The young men that I watch grow into adulthood are like clay, flexing and molding to the stimulus around them. A few weeks ago one of those young men found out he has Stage4 cancer. My initial shock and hurt at his fate were natural. I'm "coach," I'm suppose to have the answer, the strategy, the signs, to keep the game going. I'm blank right now. But "KNOWING" puts perspective in my dugout. When, and if, I find the strength to talk to Jon hopefully some of that understanding will guide my thoughts.

    My knowledge of past lives...the warrior fearless and confident, the holy man deep in spiritual understanding, the prairie pioneer crippled in the tragic loss of his love... all should pool into some perfect thought for Jon. But looking into the eyes of a frightened 23 year old kid with the same confidence I had when he was bottom of the order, bases loaded and two outs...shakes me.

    You all could send your prayers and healing energies to a really good kid.

    Well, off into the day. I hope I answered your question. There will always be good days and bad days...but all days add up to the journey. And at journey's end we'll learn...and do it all again.

    Happy Trails, The Tinkerman
     
  14. Ailish

    Ailish Administrator Emerita

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    Hi Tinkerman,

    I'm so sorry to hear about Jon. That must be a very difficult situation for all of you.

    You have such a lovely eloquent way of writing -- that I have no doubt in my mind you'll find the right words to say to Jon when the time comes. How blessed he is to have you for a coach -- and a friend.

    My thoughts are with all of you, and I am sending plenty of prayers and light to Jon and his family.


    Ailish
     
  15. tiltjlp

    tiltjlp A Recycled Soul

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    I for one have missed you Tinkerman. And yes, I'll meditate and send good vibes to Jon. What a shame. I think we all remember our past lives in whatever way is best suited for us. I have remembered only small slices of PL in the past 59 years. Nothing of much importance on the surface. I've also received a fair number of imprintings, few of them have ever been fleshed out much. I have also had a near-death experience.

    That said, I have meditated for maybe 45 years if not longer. Through this and what I believe is lucid dreaming, I have received very many insights, both into this life and PL, as well as spiritual guidance. I seem to have a gift on being able to "know" certain people's spirits instantly. This knowing has helped me in both business and my writing and mentoring fields, and I don't believe it's ever been wrong. Until I joined CPL, I didn't know any of the jargon, since I'd done little research, although I've done a lot of searching and some spiritual. Knowing the correct or current terms is helpful when discussing reincarnation and such, and I'm slowly learning them. But terms aren't what’s important, believing is.

    I have very few PL memories, at least in the usual sense. Possibly that's because it doesn't matter that much to me, beyond curiousity. Much more valuable are my other gifts, the insights and the ability to discern, and my understanding through imprinting. From what I've read and researched recently, I believe, after the fact, that I was an Indigo Child. Maybe that's why I have these gifts.

    Sorry for getting long-winded, but I have a point to make. We all have a different set of spiritual gifts, and differing needs and abilities to use them. I think we see our pasts when we need to, and then we have to work through those memories. Reading some of your other posts, I can see how difficult it might be for you at times. I'll include you in my meditations and good vibes.

    John
     
  16. vicky

    vicky Senior Member

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    Hi Tinkerman,

    You've said in other posts that you don't live in an area where there are many like minded folks.

    I'm wondering if you're feeling frustrated by the limits put on the words that you might use to comfort Jon at this time. For example, if Jon believes in reincarnation, that might be an avenue of discussion, and definitely one in which you know something about. If he doesn't it might be more difficult but I wonder what would happen if you shared your story with him?

    Vicky
     
  17. Tinkerman

    Tinkerman Administrator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Ailish, thanks!

    John, I have come to that same understanding: "we see our pasts when we need to." As the years progress and the perspectives broaden, I firmly believe there is purpose behind every thing we do. Actually, I can thank CPL for a great deal of that. By coming here over the years I have learned so much. I truely believe that beyond this world of flesh and bone there is a vast, vast creation, churning and ebbing to the Creator's artful direction. I feel truely blest to have been given this gift, but continue to struggle with my human intellect and it's desire to make rational sense out it. When I'm alone and depressed over memories of loss and love, I tend to become bitter, doubtful, and cold. These days are not so good....BUT they are days I learn from...I live them to their hilt! For they lead me to the days of spiritual crescendos and numinous thought....which usually leads to synchronous and mystically wonderful coincidences. It all reminds me of a book I read many, Many years ago...I think it was called Hinds Feet on High Places....where our journey is full of ups and downs. I guess the key is to understand and learn from it all.

    Vicki, yes I do hope to talk to Jon. If the time and situation allow I will tell him my own story. There are some connections between his family and mine back in the early 1900s. It too adds to the mystery. His ancestry is from the same town in Germany that mine come from.

    Regarding the frustration...many would tell you I'm not much for hiding my beliefs and thoughts. But there is so much deep personal circumstance involving many others around me. I need to be responsible to them....that is frustrating at times. Yet I have a close group of friends who are very supportive, and believe. One has even assisted me in some research and was as excited as I at the results.

    I guess tact, compassion, and certainty will lead my conversation. I trust in it all...though I don't understand it....but isn't that what some religions call "the mystery of faith"

    Thank you for your input. It is sincerely appreciated.

    Peace...the Tinkerman
     
  18. vicky

    vicky Senior Member

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    Hi Tinkerman,

    Hey finally someone else who has read "Hinds Feet On High Places." One thing I really like about that book is that every time she thinks life just sucks beyond belief and can't get any worse, she finds a jewel for her crown.
    So,like you mentioned, its the tough times that teach you.

    I think I remember reading that you are an ex-policeman. I've always wondered if you think that you would have ever come to a belief in reincarnation if you hadn't actually had memories of your own? Do you think you would have come to a belief in reincarnation if someone you knew and trusted had memories like yours? Or am I mistaken and did you believe in reincarnation before?

    Just curious.

    Vicky
     
  19. Tinkerman

    Tinkerman Administrator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi Vicki, I don't think I ever really thought about reincarnation before. As a young police officer caught up in my career, the idea never entered my mind. The earliest memory of the concept was the movie "The Reincarnation of Peter Proud." But I don't remember giving it serious thought.

    But in hind sight...I wish I had known more about it. I can see how it would have put so many things into a more rational perspective. Especially my involvement in the lives of all the many people I encountered...good and bad. Death was a common situation to deal with and work through. Since learning of my past lives, I have replayed many of the more "memorable" incidents...and the way I handled things then are in total alignment with those memories. I understand, for example, why I was so emotionally confused by the feet of a 19 year old murder victim. I was one of the responding officers and had handled things routinely, no problem. But was called into the evidence processing area later when her clothing had been removed. The sight of her feet brought on a terrible, sudden sadness I couldn't explain. Any way to make a long story short...this incident was directly related to the death of my dear wife in 1906. In those memories, after she died, I held her for hours, stareing at her beautiful feet, once so alive and active. In my memories of our first meeting in 1880s, she had fallen and sprained her ankle while racing me across a plowed field. Well, any way, the idea of knowing why I nearly lost myself emotionally then, makes perfect sense now. I understand it NOW. Then, I thought I was losing my mind.

    I firmly believe that I was meant to remember my past lives. The course of events and the timing was beyond coincidental. I am normally a very critical thinker. I think I have an inate ability to see reality in a very rational way. (if that makes sense!). I am not prone to straying from the norm, as I normally have a pretty good perspective on things. But this threw me into a tizzy for a while. The old rational mind battled it for some time. But now, it makes total sense. Everyday has a clearer perspective...a broader perspective. And to be honest I understand things even better than before.

    Now having said that, the memory of those deaths in 1906, are as real as if they happened a year ago. I miss them as much today as I did then. I cope with it all...but it is overwhelming at times. As I said many times....it's all part of the journey. Now it's my responsibility to live it. Talking here on CPL has been very helpful. This is a great resourse for people like me who didn't know where to turn.

    Sorry I went on so long!

    Peace, The Tinkerman
     
  20. vicky

    vicky Senior Member

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    Tinkerman,
    Good thoughts going your way. I am sure you were meant to remember your past lives. Maybe you will have an opportunity to help others with their memories also.
     

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