I guess we all have good days and bad. But it seems the bad ones always flatten my spirit. I always come back and ask myself why do I know these things. To put it bluntly sometimes I think I'd be better off not knowing about my past lives. It has created a lot of discord. Seems somedays my only goal is to trudge through it, make it one more step. It almost always follows a daydream or memory of something that happened 105 years ago. Living where I do, I see places from the past and people too. And those people make me hurt all over again. I know too much about the tragedy I went through. The one person whom I mourned an entire life for is here in this life. I don't get the point...I don't get the reason. Are these burdens suppose to make us see something or learn something. Oh I know the books all say thats the case...but practically speaking this sucks and I ache. It's like weeping over that grave all over again. And the strange thing is, given the tenent of reincarnation, you'd think I'd be happy that all is ok and that I'm not seperated from them after all. Sometimes I wish the River Lithe would've been a little deeper where I crossed. But then other days I feel blest at the magnitude of it all.