I was listening to some songs that reminded me of a few lives of mine, and while getting caught up in my emotions as memories flashed through my mind, I couldn't help but suddenly cry. I usually don't ever cry and have healed from past traumas and a few years of chronic pain as a result of finding out about them 2 years ago. It's so strange how abruptly this happened with these emotions rising up and a river of tears flowing while bawling my eyes out. Thinking about an intimate memory of a man and possibly him in spirit, then thinking about how I couldn't keep my promises in another life where I was a samurai to be with my daughter and having wished to live with my deceased wife, it feels like a part of myself wants what I once had back. Regarding the memory of the man, even though I've only seen one memory of a few glimpses, it was filled with such passion I never felt in this life, then the memory grew very explicit. Then again, I am young and inexperienced when it comes to relationships as I rarely dated guys around my age group. Sometimes, I sense the presence of a man I know I've a close connection with knowing he's watching over me in spirit. I know he doesn't want to interfere with my current life knowing that this life is a "chance to feel innocence" and to live to the fullest, since I've lived many lives fighting, experiencing betrayals, and losing loved ones. Every time I sense him knowing he's there, I can't help but get embarrassed and flustered. Then I usually go about acting like he isn't there since I feel too shy. A part of me gets the feeling he could be that man and we may possibly have a "twin flame" connection stumbling sometimes with feeling very lonely missing that sense of intimacy and touch, yet another part of me isn't so sure and just pushes the thought right in the bin. Also, I thought I'd mention that the man in spirit appeared in a dream a few years back with my present self that grew very intimately explicit during a dark time in my life missing him. In the dream, everything felt so real. I felt his touch and his warmth, saw the sad look in his eyes while he brought me close and we kissed. It's just strange. I don't usually get this emotional because I know I used to think back on the past knowing that I must live this life focusing on the present doing what I can to work on myself instead of getting caught on what's done. Every now and then, I wonder how he's doing on the other side, though usually snap myself out of it to focus on now. I'm just wondering if I'm not alone and if anyone else has experienced something very similar, a strange yearning you can't help feel yet you know it isn't good lingering on it because you have to live life.