England In my life, I have had two obsessions: to find back my brothers and to find back my daughter. Now I am in my fifties and I calmed down. The last couple of years gave me the opportunity to think over my life so far. I keep getting slightly excited thinking back on the numerous occasions in which I met people from my past. Not only brothers and daughters, but I also found much more than that. A lot of 'old' people have crossed my path. The pattern I begin to see is that we meet at an almost literally crosspoint in our lives, whether it be my own or someone else's life. People show up out of nowhere and disappear again afterward. Or it was me doing this. I wish I had known this reassuring knowledge at the beginning of my life, it would have saved me a lot of soul pain. I often didn't have a clue about what was happening. Encounters were usually very intense, confusing and also painful now and then. This following story is a sweet one. I guess it all started six or seven years ago. I was having a severe burnout and started to participate in a project as a volunteer around a medieval farm (a kind of living museum for school kids). It was a kind of therapeutic work for people like me who were having a burnout or recovering from other issues. It was really great working with the hands while we as group members had perfect conversations about politics, life and a lot of refreshing fun. There was also some coach to oversee the dynamics but in fact, we just came there to... work. One night I had a special dream as if it was an astral adventure. This coach came to me in a formless area and asked politely if he could come nearer. He said: Just feel me, feel who I am. In that dream, we somehow sat down next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, exchanging energies. It was very friendly and peaceful. I don't know exactly how many time there is between the first and the second dream. Maybe the same night, maybe another night. The second time he came to me with the body of a woman in his arms. He asked me to take care of her, because ... (I don't remember why). I agreed. The woman was laid down on the ground but once again, all happened in a formless space. I hesitated a few moments about what to do, but I started to give this woman an energetic healing, something I am not used to doing in real life. I asked this man who she was, and I heard the word 'mother' in my head. While I was trying to do things I didn't know I was capable of, I heard the interference of somebody else. It was a warning, strangely enough. The voice behind my back said that although this woman was nothing but good, the energies that afflicted her could be poisonous to me. But if I was aware and careful, there wouldn't be a problem. Meanwhile, in real life, I already knew this man and I also recently got to know a very nice woman with whom I had an enormous 'click'. I started to get visions from a past life in England (well, I presume it was England, for no specific reasons). These happen while I am awake. I feel a flash, close my eyes and see images and within those images, I have knowledge about the situation. The first one was me standing in a ditch and a boy bent over to lend me a hand to get out of it. I was a young girl, about 14 years of age, and the boy must have been about 15 years of age. I knew we were already married. I was wearing a green skirt until my ankles and I think I was wearing a cap on my head. I knew we were on our way to a wedding in a castle. I could see the building, not a castle from the fairytales. It was more like a huge block of stone. We were invited because of our families (I think we were simple rural nobility, not important) Later on, I got two more visions. Me still being this young girl, standing in the kitchen of my mother in law. I felt weak, but I knew she made me work hard, very hard in the household. I was supposed to take over the household one day, and she was preparing me by making me sweat. I was still a girl, and new there in the house. I also knew she liked me and it was her conviction that her approach would strengthen me for my future job. a bit like this, but the sleeves were the same color as the dress. In my second vision I was also in this kitchen with her, nothing special happened, but this time I knew I died soon afterward. Not because of working too hard, but probably in labor of having a child. I still had a childish shape of a body, so I guess (almost know for certain) that this baby was too big, or me being too small in the hips to be able to deliver the child. The house we lived in was also not fancy, just a gray big house. One of the funny things: the day after my first vision about me and the boy (who was this coach in real life) I went to work with a feeling of unease. Not knowing how to handle the information. We were all working in the garden, and suddenly this man addresses to me, looked me straight in the eyes and said: I believe in reincarnation, and what about you? I thought I got a fit... lol. I said: me too. And I blocked a conversation about the topic. I really didn't know how to handle all of this. I had experienced a form of intimacy between us on a spiritual level, but in real life there was nothing. I thought so, but he must have had his own kind of recognition. He did. Last year I went back to visit him in the same place. He still works there. He couldn't wait to have a talk about reincarnation again. He was also firm in saying that he still remembered little details about little things I gave him years ago. He still had kept one thing as almost sacred. While we were talking in the open air, on the field, it was as if we were in a harmonious bubble. Nothing romantic, there is no physical attraction between us, but it's the souls. He told me that as a psychologist he wanted to specialize in becoming a reincarnation-therapist. I smiled, and there was a lot of buzzing between us. I asked him if he had visions of his former lives. He didn't. But I have strong feelings, he added. I admitted that I did have visions now and then but mostly about death and trauma. We nodded in silence. I didn't have the courage to say more. Well, he said finally, I tend to think that in cases where there is no trauma to be healed, it's better not to dig in, but just leave the past as it is. I nodded and agreed: keep the past the way it is.... and we smiled. The crosspoints I met this man at a moment of time when I was walking in a gray mist. I wasn't depressed. I remember explaining to him that everything was gray around me, except the Absolute Now. That I found constant happiness in looking at flowers, sunlight, a cup of coffee and things like that. But I was not capable of looking one day ahead, not to mention making any future plans. He always encouraged me to work with medicinal herbs, he was convinced that I knew a lot about them (in fact not really, only a little bit). He often asked my personal opinion about people, not gossiping, but we both tried to understand and help people, and he really wanted an extra view on certain matters. Writing it down is strange because it sounds wrong to talk about people, but it was pure love in the way we did it. He helped me in different ways in that period of time, and I am thankful for that. My so-called 'mother in law' was probably the real herb specialist. She is. To her, I told more, and she was so excited about my visions because they matched with hers. Well, she didn't remember me as a girl, but she did remember living in England. She even did in this life for some years. I also got the feeling she had been my teacher on more occasions, perhaps in a monastery. She agreed because she remembered herself working with herbs in a monastery. I guess I was a young novice working for her at another time as well. (smile) In this life, I could help her somehow. I was there for a brief period in which first it was very dark for her. I did a ritual for her, to change the energies, and the change came so quickly that I denied that it could have been my efforts, but she was convinced it was me. She had an important operation to undergo, which turned out to be a success. Sometime later we lost contact. To be honest, it was too emotional and too intense (!) for me in this friendship. I knew I would never 'lose' her through time, so I was ok with losing contact in the short term. I just realize that I kept a postcard from her. For almost six years it has been stuck in the right corner of my mirror, so she is always there when I look into the mirror. I just realize this.