Extremely jealous of my sister

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by TheGagagirl1234, Oct 13, 2016.

  1. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    It mostly happens when she talks about her succes, friends etc. She's going to graduate high school and be a student this year, and I will never be able to experience that.
     
  2. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    You know, "what people think" about autism does not have to limit you. This thing you believe you will "never experience" is something that can be had in so many shapes and forms that it's hard to imagine you can't find a way to make it possible. Who says you can't? Why would you believe them?

    You can think for yourself. You can communicate in writing here very well. I'm sure you have other useful inner strengths and external abilities, too. Of course you're not going to live like other people--you wouldn't have done that anyway, because everyone is unique--so what can you already do? What are you interested in? What are you learning? What do you enjoy? Maybe there are things you're good at because of having autism. Maybe your unique perspective is one others need. Maybe you are creative in a way that others (maybe not family, but someone out there) will absolutely love.

    What if you could make a life others might envy by developing and using the gifts you have right now?

    What if the only obstacle isn't "not being your sister," "other people's opinions," or "having autism" but just noticing that what you can already do is a skill that others need, and then some hard work and determination to develop that skill into a business or calling to make your own and other's lives better?

    Please, live a life nobody else can copy, and don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do! Everyone has things they "can't" do (or never bothered to learn how to do), but they do what they can and make amazing lives out of it. I bet you can create a future beyond your current ability to imagine,... so imagine what you can, as big as you can and start making choices that will take you in that direction. Once you accomplish a few smaller things, you'll be able to dream even bigger.

    It only takes planting a seed to eventually have an oak tree. So start planting seeds and see what you can grow in your own life. Don't store them on a shelf and assume they won't grow for you. Do you see?

    I used to think I could never be "as good as" the people I admired. I thought I was worthless, a waste of space, and should be dead.

    But one day I dared to start smiling at people in an attempt to encourage them. When they started looking for me because they knew I'd smile and make them feel a bit better, I began to think maybe it was worth daring to talk to people and encourage them. It turned out they really appreciated me, and I wasn't "annoying" like I thought (or at least not to the ones who needed someone like me in their lives).

    Now I write articles that are read by thousands of people and have many, many messages from people who say I helped them, encouraged them, or gave them a new perspective on life. Not only that, but some of those people even pay me to help them work through their fears and choose the best of themselves. My future dreams are so big that my past self would have nearly passed out at the thought of them. I'd never have believed me if I dropped in from the future and told myself what I'm doing next. I know I can do it, though. I write books, create art, even talk in front of people, and I'll be there for many, many more individuals from around the world and help them value who they are so they can transform the world with their gifts and skills.

    Your seed of potential can be as small as a smile of encouragement to start with. All you have to do is plant it to see what kind of future you can create for yourself over time. I still struggle with seeing my potential and believing that what I do is worth all the energy I've put into improving my skills and adding new ones that help me reach more people. It's hard work choosing to value the best of yourself instead of focusing on the things you can't do, sometimes. But I can tell you it's so worth it!

    I'd love for you to feel this kind of hope and anticipation and see what you can create out of your life, too.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2017
  3. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Wise words MD.

    Don't limit yourself Gaga. Who knows, one day your sister might be jealous of you? As long as you keep loving each other, you will get by.

     
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  4. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    Thanks for your kind words! I really appreciate it!

    Yesterday I did a new hypnosis meditation session and I saw an image of me (the man from previous images) and my sister sitting at a round table. There was an oil lamp on the table, and my sister was wearing a white dress. Could explain why she likes wearing dresses and makeup. She has always a ton of makeup.
     
  5. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    That's interesting... but what was going on when you were sitting at the table? We usually remember important moments. So, it's possible this is significant of something. Would you say you were her uncle, brother, father, husband....? What does this scene make you feel like? There might be some clues here.
     
  6. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    Not much. We were just sitting there and then she suddenly left the table. I don't know what I feel about it tbh.
     
  7. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Why a white dress? Might it have been a wedding? Just an idea.

    Trust your instincts. Something will feel right after a while. No rush.
     
  8. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    It could be. But I'm not sure yet.
     
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  9. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Take your time.
     
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  10. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    There's one thing I don't understand. I keep having terrible nightmares about me being jealous of my sister (not past life related dreams). Last time I dreamt that we were on holiday and I couldn't control my jealousy at all. In those dreams I even hit her and other things I don't want to do to her. But I hit my sister a lot when I was little. I don't know why I keep having those nightmares because I won't do this to her today. I've already learned a lot from my jealousy and it's enough that I feel it during the day.
     
  11. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Anger is a very powerful emotion. Almost as powerful as love.

    Think about what it might be deep down that makes you get so angry about seemingly little things with your sister. Are you angry with her? Are you angry with yourself? Maybe both? Why? Use your journal.

    Frustration and anger come when things don't work out the way we imagined, or wanted, or hoped or... It's normal. It happens a lot. There may very well be some undercurrent of 'jealousy' coming up from the past, related to the incident you talked about above with the white dress.

    The trick is to learn how to respond in the present life if we get 'triggered'. We might feel strong feelings, but not fully understand why. After a while, and some reflection, we can learn and improve the situation 'from now on', rather than just get 'mad' now.

    It's not easy. I know.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2017
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  12. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    Sorry for the late reply.

    I thought I was doing well with my jealousy but today I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had outbursts when my sister was talking about her 'simple' life which doesn't happen often anymore. Funny how certain situations can make me feel like this.
     
  13. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I think you'll find that your dreams will reflect your progress. When you start dreaming of your sister and recognizing jealousy (but choosing not to act on it) you will probably be at a point where you've learned to recognize the reasons for your jealousy and have started working on them. When you start dreaming of situations that you know would once have made you jealous (but not anymore) it's likely that you will have started the process of creating your own positive counters to fill the gaps in your life/perspective that have made you jealous for so long. When you start dreaming of your sister trying to provoke jealousy in you on purpose and just confidently pointing out that you have your own strengths and gifts, then you will have healed the jealousy completely and are well on your way to creating a future for yourself that you'll be proud of.

    It's okay to have flare ups along the way. Emotions are affected by situations and thoughts like the ocean is affected by tides and storms. If you were already feeling disappointed, fighting off a cold, or were recently hurt by someone then those other feelings will make it easier to feel jealousy, like bumping into a bruise always hurts more than just bumping into something when you're not already in pain.

    Don't attack yourself for that. It's no more "wrong" to feel those emotions than it is to feel the information your nerves send you when you stub your toe. Jealousy isn't your identity. It's merely a sign that there's something painful in you. What you can take from feeling jealousy is "I am in pain!" And the logical followup is to ask yourself "Why?" because unlike the furniture you clearly stubbed your toe on, emotions respond to invisible obstacles and it's not always the first reason that comes to mind in reality. It's useless to just blame your sister or yourself, because that's not going to solve the problem of bumping into painful things. That would be like blaming a chair for hurting you, when really what happened is that you walked through in the dark and kicked its leg by accident. It happens, but it's not really anyone's fault.

    If you figure out how to install a light in that room, you might never stub your toe on that chair (or feel jealousy when you bump into your sister's normal existence) again ... does this illustration help? I don't know what the light will be for you, but I do know you can eventually learn some truth or approach to life that will help you see clearly how to avoid and heal this pain. And you will then (with time and conscious practice) reach the point where you no longer even have a bruise from all the times you've run into this problem before.

    For now thank your emotions for trying to take care you. Next, do something that always makes you feel good, especially something that is all about you taking care of yourself. Maybe a relaxing bath, calming music, a long walk, playing with a pet, art, talking to someone who appreciates you, writing in a journal, reading an inspiring story, etc.

    This jealousy isn't all of you. You are so much more, and it's okay to focus on enjoying all the things you can do for yourself already. You will naturally add more over time. After all, that's part of the reason we step into time and become involved with the tangible world in the first place. You can play life like you play a game, if you want. You get to choose which skills to level up, and there are so many options available to you.
     
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  14. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Try to think more deeply about why this comment about a 'simple life' may have set you off? There may be something behind it that you can't put your finger on yet. Keep working on it. Use your journal.

    MD has given you some very good advice. Dreams can be great clues. Try not to beat yourself up if you 'lose it' now and again. As long as things are slowly improving, that's good. It's not always easy to break old patterns. But, being aware of them is the first step.
     
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  15. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    Thanks for the awesome replies so far! I really appreiciate it! Especially MD for taking time to give me the good advice.

    My familly, sister and I are going on holiday in a few days. I've 'ruined' so many holidays because of my jealousy and I fear that it will happen again.

    I'm sorry if I sound rude in anyway I was just curious to know if my feelings could be past life related.
     
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  16. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    How could this be rude? It's a good thing to ask for advice and help when you're overwhelmed or wondering about something.

    Past life associations can make emotions even more difficult to figure out, and while none of us can say for certain where the jealousy began ... thankfully, there are things you can do to work through the emotions either way.

    I hope your vacation goes well and you have a lot of enjoyable experiences.
     
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  17. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    Thanks for replying!

    It just seems like its impossible to get rid of the jealousy. I've been jealous of my sister ever since I was 11 (I'm 21 now). I have tried so many things but it doesn't really help.
    My grandmother is currently experiencing the opposite of my situation. Her sister is extremely jealous of her! Unfortunately they never see each other, which is a shame. She has done many terrible things to my grandmother (too many to caunt!). I can totally relate to her feelings but at least I'm able to control them (depends on the situation).
     
  18. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    Hey

    You are not rude, you are just trying to find help. It's positive thing, coz you are aware that you are in this neg behavior & try to figure out how to overcome this.

    if u have extremely jealousy in this life, it might be it was your biggest failure in your past life; thus, you must re-experience it until you manage to evercome this feeling.

    I had learned that jealousy is a type of attachment; you cling onto something that you don't have from other person you are jealous at.
    In other words, you yourself have created that feeling, not someone else caused you have this negative emotion. To overcome this, after you acknowledge that the fact you are jealous and let it go, you should learn to rejoice & be happy for your sister. The antidote is, be proud of her, be joyful/ happy to her fortune & be proud of yourself to be her sister, be feel lucky that you are related to someone famous, feel blessed with the relationship between your famous sis & u. Enjoy this special connection!!! There are many girls wanted to know some famous people in her school or city, they dont have this luck, but u, you are truly fortunate to be the sister of a popular girl at school.

    Sharing my own story:
    My sis was the flower in her school, even in our city, but I've never been jealous of her, I even feel proud to be her sis. And believe me, she knows & feels how I proud of her, she always was happy to take me with her whenever she got invited to dinners & parties, she shared me her stuffs and those guys even tried to pamper me with great things in order to get her attention.

    It's her luck, but it's also a blessing for you, if u could rejoice sincerely & be happy for her. Love her, the universe will bring your love back, it's a law of attraction

    Don't forget to see the uniqueness in yourself, what u r good at, that she is not. Remember & feel thankful with what you have, that she doesn't have. You will see that no one is perfect, but also each of us is unique in our own way. Embrace fully your whole being, coz each of us was born with different assets to fulfill different purpose in life.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2017
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  19. TheGagagirl1234

    TheGagagirl1234 Member

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    I just had flareups again! I thought our vacation was going well when I suddenly lost my temper. She was talking about herself again (as almost always). We played a game which I lost and I was angry already before we even started playing. Our conversation went to an argument:

    My sister: *wins game*
    Me: You're always so lucky!
    My sister: Wow, take it easy! Its just a game!
    Me: I don't care. I didn't ask for my life *throws cards at the table, walks away and slamming doors*

    I truly regret my behavior now. But I don't understand why I keep losing my temper no matter what I do.
     
  20. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    Controling temper is most difficult.

    I had battled this for few years, when I decided to completely get my anger under control. Now, I'm happy with the result where I am now (strongly reduced, very minimal i must say, before start coming out the fire, I mostly managed to stop the smoke by stopping giving reaction to my anger)
    So when I start get mad, I stop
    And take a deep breath & tell myself that anger not real, I can choose to be angry or not to b angry. If i getangry, im the one who will b hurt, the other person wint get affected, so for what we punish ourselves??

    When start feel the urge, pain, heat, fire in my chest, I focus on that & keep breathing slowly, and just imagine take water and splash on fire & keep breathing SLOWLY & deeply to let it cool down. Another thing, when u are already mad, then u have to cool it down first.

    Or talk about it to yr sis, maybe she understands & try to help u?
    Just tell her u dunno why u r jealous of her only, but not other, wonder if u guys had history in the past/ PL

    Btw. Sure u r jealous at her only & not to anyone else?

    Well, my sis always talk about her, how the guys chased her, what happened at school. Well, I have nvr been disturbed because of that, I think I just really proud of her, thought that her life is so much more interesting than mine, so I like to hear her stories, I even keep asking her, "and then what happened sis, tell me more" i was really interested. Maybe that's how I switched my mind

    U know, our heart have button, when u feel neg emotions in your chest, it's because u forgot to switch the button in yr mind. U have to reprogram "I'm proud of my sis, not jealous", then confirm & affirm it. It takes some time to reprogram

    So when u start noticing your anger & jealousy arise, u have to catch it as fast as possible, stop whatever u r doing, just say excuse me, step aside, give yrself time and start keep repeating words in your heart "i'm proud of my sis, im not angry nor jealous at her" while focusing the burn in your heart, keep saying that until u notice the neg emotion cool down in yr chest.

    And if there r things like games or topic of conversation that keep making u angry or jealous, maybe it's a good idea to talk to yr sis nicely not to talk about it, just ask her to help you change yourself. Sometimes, when u r honest, she would be happy if u tell her, and maybe she even reflect herself & notice that she's self-centered, so she might try to change herself too. Who knows

    If it doesnt help after 1-2 months, u can try PL regression to find out, but if in the past u had similar situations, I doubt it u can do much, but only try to change yourself.

    Oh before I forgot, before u sleep, when u go to bed. U repeat the sentence (affirmation) above, at least 7x with strong willingness. Each time u sleep, u r uploading datas to universal databank & leave the imprints there, by doing so, you will erase your unsatisfaction to yr sis on that day & uploading your new data. If on that day, u feel so much disturbed by her; then, u keep repeating the sentence until u fall asleep. Dont forget to do this EVERYTIME u r going to sleep or take nap. U will notice the change slowly. U can add more sentences for yourself too like "i'm PATIENT, i'm unique, i'm happy"

    Remember not to fall asleep or go to sleep with anger, so cool it down first by watching positive film on tv, like comedy to give u a laugh & happiness

    I use same method to control my anger. When your anger of the day gone, try to forget everything & rebuild new relationship with yr sis, good one. Dont avoid her.

    U know, everyday we rebirth, when the night is over is just like we are dead, so just leave the baggage of the day behind, dont take it on the next day, feel that every morning is a glory & happiness for u, and everything starts new

    when we r mad at someone, whatever they say might sound bad to us, so just say "sorry" to stop everything nicely, in yr case e.g."sorry, i dont know why I'm mad when u keep talking about yrself, as if im nothing for u. And then, u won the game & make me feel even more not worth. Something wrong with me, but I'll try my best to fix this" Just say sorry, then explain her nicely about yr feeling. If u try to build good relationship towards yr sis by being honest to her & try to change, she would try to step back to help u with this, like she might evtl. Have more interest to know about yr day, rather than talking about herself.

    U should play something that is not competitive, play game that build friendship, and u should be in same team as her

    Now, u regret of yr neg behavior, it's good that if u can go to her in private, ask her if she's busy, coz u wanna talk to her, first thing, tell her sorry for yr behavior, then in conversation should be telling more about your issue, emotion etc, NOT talking things that what u think wrong about her, nor things u dont like about her, coz if u say this, she might think u come to talk to her to blame/wrong her. Then, things get worse.

    In case, she 's not interested in yr matter, then no problem. I think, not everbody likes everyone, but it doesnt mean u guys have to become enemies.

    I recently had an issue with my bro, because of different opinions, but I dont want we fight nor become enemy. He was rude, used bad words towards me. I felt the pressure in my heart, so I told him, "because of such silly conversation we argue intensely, I think it's not worth, I wanna stop talking about it since we would never come to agree, so before things get worse, let's stop & forget everything & have a new start."

    So once i told him this, i count case is closed, so I left all negs behind, I want to stay friends with my bro, so I keep trying to speak normal, always include him in family conversation. He actually ignored me, but now he just talked to me again. It's nice to have 1 more friend, then 1 more enemy. But if the person is difficult to be friended, then u dont need to hate, but just be friendly & respect. If u think, it's impossible to build friendship with sis, then u just dont keep looking for her, but not avoiding. I mean be normal like when u meet friends at school, not so closed but still try to b friendly

    Good luck to u
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2017

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