Friends

Discussion in 'Members Lounge' started by GalaxyDreamer90, Oct 8, 2018.

  1. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    Lately I've been feeling as though maybe what I really need are more friends. Right now I have one really close friend but often we are too busy with school to hangout which is sad because we are trying to start a video game club, but it hasn't been very successful because we're so busy with college. Not that my friend isn't good enough, but I really feel I could use a few more close friends. Perhaps that would get rid of my feeling of not belonging. However, at the same time I have major social anxiety and am afraid to get to know new people. I'm trying to get over my fear by going to college and stuff, but I still have some way to go and sometimes I even worry I may never get over my social anxiety. I've been working with my counselor on overcoming it but because I'm so afraid it's a very slow process. At college I'm usually what you would call a wallflower and hardly ever talk to anyone. I really do want more friends though but at the same time I'm so afraid of getting my feelings hurt by others. Sorry if this is a long post. Any ideas how I can get over this anxiety.
     
  2. Sea Change

    Sea Change Member

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    The reason that you are offended is that you have decided to allow that experience for yourself. What you can learn is that you are afraid that which they say is possibly true about you. Why else would it spark your emotions?

    But 'they' are not correct. Why pay any attention, they have nothing to do with you, do they really know you? Of course not.

    If you wore a red dress that you really liked, and someone came along and said "I hate your blue dress", you wouldn't be offended, you would think they are Krazee, yes?

    Well...same thing.
     
  3. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    I know I shouldn't care what others think of me, but I really think I need more people I can relate to. It's kind of lonely being the only one like me who's so afraid. But maybe you're right and the only reason I want friends is because that's what others tell me I need and also growing up I got the impression that friends were really important and if you dont have any it is a sign you are stupid. Suddenly I'm feeling a bit confused. There is part of me that so desperately wants friends but there has also always been a part of me that likes to be alone sometimes.
     
  4. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    Maybe you should try self-hypnosis: give yourself posthypnotic suggestions on how you want to be.

    Trying to fit with those around you, trying to get friends when you're lonely, could make you, sometimes, rush things, overlook things, compromise your principles, and later regret it.

    Definitely it's better to function well in your social group, than not. When that doesn't work you have to look for another group that is closer to your way of thinking.
     
  5. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    That is also the wonderful part about your trip back to "here" where your attachment to others can dissolve to that extent to alter your experience of reality. In one sense you are ultimately alone while still being connected with everything that IS. Loneliness and fear have a connection that spans our lifetimes, learn how to work with it or limit yourself for a long time, dealing with it successfully will allow you more energy to live IMO.
     
    Carloloner likes this.
  6. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    I have decided maybe it's best that I be my own best friend. Perhaps that is the only friend I really need.
     
  7. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    That is a worthy endeavor, not as easy as it might seem at first, but definitely something of value. But, make it supportive and strong rather than simply a place to "hide" (hope you understand what I'm trying to say) a position that offers you the strength to move on with your life challenges.
     
  8. Sea Change

    Sea Change Member

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    Follow your excitement, If you are excited about having friends, follow that joy. Whenever you follow what you are passionate about, you get excited, yes?

    That excitement is the physical testimony that you are doing exactly what your True Self, your Higher Mind if you will - your existence in Spirit. Want friends? Ok, go for it. Don't want friends. Stop. All the choices are yours before.

    And none of them are invalid.
     
  9. SALCa20

    SALCa20 chev the monk on the mount

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    I really need friends too I hope this place can give me my answers, sorry if I rushed my profile. Its very late in New Zealand 2:56 am in the morning. I will try to redo my profile when i come back, but please do msg me or respond.
     
    briski likes this.

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