Gender Identity Theory / Reincarnation

Discussion in 'Reincarnation, Religion and Spirituality' started by landsend, Dec 29, 2018.

  1. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    S&S,

    Your level head on this subject is refreshing to read -- lots of points you discuss make sense.

    A few points that stood out --

    First of all, I'm not sure really what equates to an advanced soul. Maybe that's my ignorance there. For some folks gender is just more of a blend anyway, who says we all have to fit the binary of male/female? Does that make that person more balanced, or advanced? That remains to be seen.

    I suppose I was trying to push the point here that there does seem to be some influence in the incarnating soul on the biology of the foetus. As you pointed out, Ian Stevenson demonstrates this theory in his cases of scars/deformities and other abnormalities that correspond to past life wounds or trauma. If a strong gender energy (masculine or feminine energy) were apparent, then that energy imprint could in theory affect the brain of the developing foetus, or perhaps influence the hormonal cocktail in the womb. If you want to go even deeper, perhaps the incarnating soul influences the exact condition at conception, down to the exact spermatozoon and ovum. Who says that these are not orchestrated on a quantum level to which we as little people down here could not even begin to fathom?

    As to why we might choose a transgendered existence, well, probably the reason is many fold, but your points do make some sense to me. I've often said this is my fugitive life, trying to hide away. My last life ended violently, and I experienced off the scale suffering. I suppose each person's reasoning might be different. There were a few things I had to see for myself in this life that would not have been possible if I had been born biologically male. This sort of existence isn't easy, and I often wonder why the heck I've done this to myself. If I try to be detached about it I can say -- well, never experienced this before so it's something new at least.
     
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  2. LisaR

    LisaR Senior Registered

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    As to the suicide rate, a trans man from my home state of SD just died by suicide while fighting a legal battle to gain healthcare coverage for top surgery. He was likely to win the case. The despair must be overwhelming for some trans people that it overrides any victory in life.

    This original post is interesting. I was born female, ID as female, and typically express myself as such; however, I’ve had a lifelong issue with being female. I was 4 when I started resenting the cultural expectations of women (be a mother/nurturing, submissive) and physical differences (the “weaker” sex, having curves, getting a period). I think it has driven some of my decisions in life (avoiding femininity, motherhood). I grew up often wishing I were born male. Aside from wishing I weren’t a socially undervalued gender, I wonder if this also has to do with me relating to past experiences as male, since all 3 of the PLs I’ve recalled, albeit vague, have been male.
     
  3. glia21

    glia21 Senior Registered

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    Hi landsend, SeaAndSky and all,
    I do not think it´s a "grass is greener" syndrome in my case. I don´t dare to talk about this in general because I simply don´t know how individualistic the ways of reincarnation are (if reincarnation is taken for real). If this really happened at all, well, I remember and I´m sure I always adored women but I really never wanted to be one and I always thought life was so much harder for them. I still thought that as a kid in this lifetime watching my mom work. Not to speak of my last life where I lost my mom when I was very young and my step mom too due to illness and too much workload.
    Being here as the one I am I`ve got a lot - great kids and a loving very supporting husband, a house, good education and jobs (even though they change frequently).

    But I also lost so much.

    It´s not only gender but it´s language and culture too. No baseball tradition, different Christmas/new year songs - I know it´s ridiculous but no "Auld long syne" -- I don´t know why I´m so resistant to adaption. It´s also difficult with making friends. I find it easy to do small talk with men but much harder with women. True friendships are even more difficult. I can´t do women talk like talking about shopping, weight and decoration. I have no relationship to flowers, I don´t know, I do not like flowers.

    Here´s a little story:
    When I was nineteen I was going out with my two best male friends. All three of us were at university studying psychology and we all were from out of town, from the countryside. I´d been in Vienna for 1,5 years, we were hanging around at the bars and drinking a lot and I totally lost it. I was feeling so good and relaxed for the very first time in years. My lifetime was swept away in a wink of time and I was being nineteen and male again. I started talking and being the guy I´d been. Then my friend turned at me - I remember his looks - and I realized it simply doesn´t work. He asked me why I was talkiing like that being a girl?
    I confused them a lot :D.
    Dunno what they thought was going on :confused:

    I also still don´t know how to put it for myself. I simply don´t want to be a trans person - but I admire everyone who decides to go for who they are. I know one male-to-female woman and it´s tough. She´s quite tall too.
    Me, I´m still stuck. I wear jeans, t-shirts, leather jackets and sneakers. I can´t make myself wear make up - can´t do it. I hardly wear any dresses except at weddings.
    I´ve made a more or less decision to go on like that I guess. But I don´t feel comfortable with it.
     
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  4. glia21

    glia21 Senior Registered

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    Something to add: I believe besides avoiding situations it was my adventurous mind that got me here into this. Try something new. And feeling drawn to two special people who were already here upon my arrival.
    Interesting about Ian Stevensons point regarding change of gender. I read two books by him and appreciated his scientific approach.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2018
  5. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    This is such a difficult topic, and often brings out the best in folk when you bring it up (being ironic here...)

    People transition because they feel their internal gender is different to their body and they have to live true to that. They have to live true to it because it is a pressure cooker existence, repression doesn’t make it go away and suicide feels preferable to the enormous discomfort of a mismatched body.

    My own experience is that I have swung through cycles of deep depression before knowing what was wrong with me. I carried enormous guilt and continuously felt I was lying to myself, my husband & everyone I know. Like you Glia I just never got involved with people or life, because that role and person people saw just wasn’t me. I often brushed it off that I was just a ‘funny strange person’. I often feel like a tiny person who has shrunk to the background and floating out of my body, whenever the dysphoria hits it’s the same feeling, the feeling I have no presence and no one sees the real me.

    I got to a point where I need to take action because I couldn’t see the point in continuing my life. Transition is preferable to ending my life. Total ignorance of trans people prior to that, I had no clue that my experiences matched closely other trans men.

    Let me make this clear here that this is not the same as wishing you were a man because it’s ‘easier’ than being female. This is an internal identity that has been there since childhood. I didn’t wish to be a boy when I was a kid, I was a boy — my actions and thoughts and feelings and internal identity matched that of a boy. I was in denial about that fact from a very young age and the repression and guilt started from then on.

    An example of how difficult and misunderstood this issue is— I’d consider this the most intimate thing about me, something I never wanted to tell anyone. My experience of going to get medical help involved a doctor who didn’t know how to refer me for medical help. I’ve told my intimate family about myself and the recognition extends to them not basically recognising me, it is humiliating, degrading and down right depressing. The alternative? I like to think it’s better than an early grave.
     
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  6. glia21

    glia21 Senior Registered

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    I fully understand. It sometimes seems to be a waste of time.. not to participate as much as one could... and should. My feelings have been practically the same like yours. I didn't wish to be a boy - I was one. And I remember the day clearly I felt terribly humiliated when my dad made a statement I shouldn't do this or that cause I was a girly :mad: him thinking he was funny, but half serious. At this point I realized it was the point of no return and puberty was ahead.
    I never told anyone how I feel. I tried it once and wasnt taken seriously. Anyway - I think it must be obvious to some extent o_O
     
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  7. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    I think the question of how "this" happens in individual cases has to be left wide open. On that note, there is an interesting regression in Michael Newton's first book (which is, btw, available to listen to on Youtube). The individual was a male attorney in the U.S. in an earlier era who was very interested in protecting people from the rich and powerful. He chose to come back as a female because he thought it would give him an edge in this battle. I don't think it did, or that he adjusted very well, or that he had any idea of the changes that would have taken place in society by the time he came back, but it is an interesting story (plus the Michael Newton book is worth listening to anyway).

    On the idea of advanced souls and how to detect them, I don't know. At the time, I was a lot newer to the board, the people I respected and considered to be on the other side of the issue had been here much longer, and they were definitely not shallow people. They not only had a lot more PL memory, but were people of depth and expressed themselves with clarity of thought. So, how do I know? I still don't. The person who claims to be an "advanced" soul (like the person who claims a very famous PL) is automatically going to be subject to some skepticism. As the saying goes, "extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof". However, none of these folks made that claim. The conclusion was my own based on who they seemed to be. Consequently, it has definitely kept me scratching my head on the issue.

    PS--Michael Newton is, for those who are not familiar with his work, the person who pioneered life-between-lives research and regression techniques. I respect his work a great deal (though I don't offer that as a blanket endorsement of everything in his books).
     
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  8. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    No! I don't, not at all! In fact, I take that as a compliment! I don't think I'm very good at story telling, so I've always felt that my posts have always come across as sort of flat and one dimensional. So it's nice to have an outside perspective :)

    S&S, I agree with just about everything you posted. I don't have much of a perspective of things, outside my own and I don't have the history that you do here, but I readily agree with your points. I also recall reading quite a of Newton's regressions with the ones that changed genders from what I can recall, there was a definite frustration that they were frequently missing the point of them.

    To that end though, I would agree that there isn't a one size fits all explanation, that is one thing I'm sure of. There's so many factors that we can't account for, the most of which is that we lack the understanding (as often does the individual) of the circumstances of their current incarnation.

    I always think regardless, it's up to us to find an opportunity for learning, growth and understanding in anything that we may find adverse. That said and please understand that this is my own pet theory since I could also easily fall into the category of transgender or dysphoric, I have often wondered if such feelings come from traumatic past lives (such as mine) and perhaps even buyer's remorse that may arise from the grass is greener explanation you were postulating, or even perhaps, not fully grasping the purpose of the current life, as with the cases of learning from the female perspective, helping out someone else or trying to further a cause. There's also a wide possibility that some things happen that we just don't have control over as the energy of the soul imprints itself on the new life.

    I can only reiterate it's a very complex thing. Speaking only for myself, I'm male in the this life to help my wife, apparently across two simultaneous lifetimes (which goes along with the theory of "sped up development") and previously, since the male form was more conducive to authority. I think I mentioned elsewhere that I have intense eyes, I'm not a mean person at all! But my past female life was described as mad or bitchy looking and my male was described as having a gaze that shone with the power of a thousand suns. I clearly took advantage of gender as it suited my needs, but I also think it's sad that we pass two completely different, sexist, judgement on the same thing, when neither are true at all. This is something that's frustrated me in my work with students and the way that teachers and staff view them.

    I would only know all of this though, having had access to my past lives . That's a very good argument for how therapeutic it can be! I think without it, I'd be lost and confused and I would have most likely drifted off course. I'd like to think I'd be strong enough to persist regardless, but with the way things are locked off and veiled and yet somehow stubbornly persistent in our lives, I know I would have stumbled more and for longer than I did.
     
  9. John Tat

    John Tat Senior Registered

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    The sex of the child is determined at the moment of conception by two chromosomes x and y...A female (the mother is xx) and the male (the father is xy).. Women have no y chromosomes they only contribute the x chromosome to the baby .. The sex is determined by whether the sperm of the male that fertilizers the egg is carrying and x or y chromosome A male child is xy and a female child is xx
    Its impossible for there to be a mixture of half x and y chromosomes .. so the term cross gender is a totally made up because its impossible for anyone to be physically cross gender.. These are mot problems with gender they are other problems
    This also raise questions about when the spirit enters the fetus and if the spirit has gender
    At the moment of conception the spirit would have to know if the child was going to be male or female .. the major problem with that is.. they have no control over conception.. the sex of the fetus is determined by a physical thing.. In my opinion all of the theories about this subject are way out there and are gues's at best
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2018
  10. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    Your posts are always interesting Totoro, definitely not one dimensional.

    Well this thread is of value if only to hear the spectrum of views out there.

    Each and every one is on our journey through this existence. Recognising my internal self and seeing my wounds has been a fundamental turning point on my own path.

    Being born transgender is certainly not easy, but it is what it is. Did I choose this? I struggle with that fatalistic way of thinking.

    It comes down to this for me. I am facing my wounds head on. I’ve recognised now who I am as a man, taking steps to be true to myself. It’s hard, at times I want it all to end. But other times I feel happier and more present in my body in a way I haven’t since a little kid. The denial that I’m living this life is less and less, and in fact when it does turn up it startles me that I lived with that heavy cloak for years and years.

    I’ll stand up for each and every trans person out there who lives through this.
     
  11. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    @John Tat the topic of this thread is not biological sex but of how gender identity is seperate and can be different to biological sex, creating distress better known as gender dysphoria.

    There is such a thing as intersex, which has varying biological factors which can cause a biological appearance of two sexes, internally or externally including under developed gonads.

    My theory based on my experience of predominantly male lives was that my masculine energy influenced the hormonal makeup of the womb — altering the brain.

    I’ll reiterate for the sake of education that sex is between the legs, gender is in the mind.

    Sir, your post has a very derogatory tone. One more like that and I’ll call on the moderators to intervene. This forum has more than one transgendered person and we will not stand for transphobic tones.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2018
  12. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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  13. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Landsend, I’ve wanted to comment on several of your posts about how impressed I’ve been by what you write. Your experiences are not shared by me in this lifetime since my gender and body type match quite well. The only transgender person that I knew was a MTF, late twenties, who was six-foot-two tall with a deep voice who was living as female while taking hormones and preparing for surgery. I had/have trouble with calling him a her for several reasons beyond his height and voice; his mannerisms, way of thinking, and speech were all quite masculine. What I learned through our conversations was that his mother named him Laverne and often dressed him in girl’s clothes.

    Given his background, I was led to think that the gender confusion was nurture rather than nature. It has taken me a little bit to get beyond that original experience and better understand the reality of the gradation in the gender line that is similar to that of the body itself. I greatly appreciate your contributions here on this form. Your thoughts and presentation lack the abrasiveness of another trans (MTF) forum member– I realize that the outbursts help that individual, but it hurts the acceptance of the position.
     
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  14. John Tat

    John Tat Senior Registered

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    I agree with you Ken.. I was only giving my opinion based on facts.. If anyone cares to research it... it is a scientific fact there are no tests to determine if someone is trans gender or not... They can only tell you that they believe they are.. I only came into this tread for the discussions of spirit/soul gender.. and was pointing out that trans gender in my opinion is a physical thing not spiritual
     
  15. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Landsend,

    John hasn't said anything to justify the last paragraph in post #31. He is merely trying to voice his own opinions as well as to understand what is going on. He is also a member of long-standing and a friend.

    Please edit your post.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
  16. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    John, I think Landsend just explained that it's not spiritual, not physical, but in the mind.

    I think that we as not transgenders should accept this explanation. Landsend took so much time to make us understand.
     
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  17. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Landsend, I've been following your posts for quite a while. You triggered me on many levels. Your search for your identity is very interesting.
    It must have been difficult for you to expose yourself so much because it makes you vulnerable. (not easy with your scorpio and pluto placements in your horoscope) (don't be mad at me, just a friendly wink with my eye)

    I am not transgender, I feel comfortable being a woman. But... I did have to learn that. I've never felt male, but I always wanted to do the same things as men. And I did do a lot of that stuff in my life.
    I've always felt both. I never called it 'gender' but energy. I had a lot of male energy inside, protecting my vulnerable side. Luckily, in my youth, I could play any role I wanted and switch endlessly between them. So I did all the boys things and the girly things as well. Not at the same time, it was just switching.

    Lately, I get more insights in my former lives. I started to see patterns, lines, and repetitions.
    As far as I understand today, I had a series of female lives in which I experienced the not so bright side of being female: powerless, dying in labor, forced passiveness and so on.
    I think that I was fed up being a woman, changed to a male life in which I died a soldier. Complete the opposite of what I was used to experience. That was my last one, and I came back again as a woman but this time fully charged. I am extremely independent, nobody is allowed to take care of me, I despise women who make themselves helpless and dependent and some other issues that doesn't make it easy to live with me,

    Like I said, I was never gender confused. I've always been attracted to men and I look feminine but I still can easily switch role. That's my confusion.
    My brain is very receptive and associative but sometimes I can be blunt like a man, like the switch is on the other side without realizing it. Those were the moments I got big trouble because that's unpredictable behavior for other people and in those moments I really can not empathize. My brain is only logic and not receptive for emotional points of view.

    I find this gender thread very interesting.
     
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  18. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    In the bigger scheme of things gender and sex are irrelevant. Sex is needed only for reproductive purposes. Society molds us with prejudices, and prejudices about prejudices.

    From reincarnation point of view (this is why we are here on this forum), based on my regressions and channeled knowledge, being woman or man wasn't relevant neither for my higher self's progress, nor for the life lessons I had to learn / experience. Physical and personality characteristics aren't passed through reincarnation. We aren't any of our previous incarnations.
     
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  19. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Have you seen this video? I think the Dr in it makes very valid points. However, I also think that's also one slice of the overall pie here. To add to it, I think we have another dimension with the internet as well. Many young people today are claiming to be transgendered and or possess fluid gender. I've had many of these people as students of my own and I think what's going on here is you take these marginalized, creative, non conformist people (young men mostly) who view young women on the internet and the sort of instant attention and sympathy they get and they turn crossdressing into a form of cosplay and sort of pin it all on being transgendered, because I think they want the attention and sympathy that they are denied as males, because of cultural biases. I also think that's a lot of what's going on with the Dr in the video. So I do think there is a basis for what you're saying.

    Fireflydancing on the other hand, has an equally valid experience as well, that would mirror mine to an extent as well, like flipping a switch. I think that just comes with having lived so many lives and having experiences in both that we just know how to act and how we're expected to act through rote memory, sort of. And it can be confusing, disturbing even. For me, if I'm acting like a male too long, I feel like I don't know who I am any more.

    I'm comfortable as male, because for the most part, I can express myself how I want to. The clothes are the only down side, and trust me, I've never been happy about it :D I'm still carrying on the same relationships with the people in my life. My son, my mom and even my friend, who still treats me like a wife to an extent. The outside has changed, but everything keeps on truckin.

    I've simply been at a loss to explain me, the way I am, other than through something similar to Firefly's explanation. I just know I'm a woman, I have a woman's personality, I'm just in a male body for this life. From a very young age, I knew something was different. I couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 when I asked a girl I played with to turn me into a girl; she was claiming that she had a magic wand that could do anything. When I was a bit older, around 6 maybe, I used to put pillows in my pajama pants and pretend I was pregnant, because I wanted to be able to have babies. You could say possibly that my mother socialized me as a girl too, however I think she just let me express myself the way I wanted. I played piano, cooked, did needle point and read nancy drew mysteries. She's the same way with my son now, she's spent time with him doing crafts and other things he's wanted to, but he's moved on and he's the boy he's always been. Me? I haven't changed. I used to knit, make soap, I love to cook, I have cats ha ha. My icon is my past life holding one of her little dogs.. nothing has changed.

    Maybe it's an "carry over" from her because she died quite young or maybe it's because this life is temporary and I'll be back to being a female soon enough. I think my family just sees me and we just get along as we always have, so it's kinda moot anyway, but I can't explain it, other than I'm just me. I mean, you could cut my brain open and they'd tell you I'm a normal healthy male, but there's so much to me I can't explain away readily. The dysphoria comes from having so few people who will see me as I am and treat me as such. There's a huge part of me that wants to feel normal and sit with the other moms during play dates and not feel like a huge creep. Even something as simple as wanting to wear a headband to keep my hair out of my eyes while I clean the house feels verboten and I want to just scream "if I was a girl, this would all be normal!"

    So in my case it may be spiritual and a female body is simply the best vehicle for me, but I also think there are so many other things going on both spiritual and otherwise, that again I agree with, there is no one size fits all explanation.

     
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  20. CanSol

    CanSol Senior Registered

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    I'll drop in my 2cts from experience
    I'm trans as well (for some of you that fact might come as a surprise)
    I've always been male, people tried to change my behavior because I was the boy that always got into trouble (falling down trees, chasing frogs, getting injured in sports etc) and my mannerisms were all male from as long as my parents can remember
    Someone was stupid enough to give me a barbie, ended up doing all kinds of crazy stuff with it (strapped a bag to it and dumping it over the balcony railing, summersaulting it over the same railing), eventually everyone just gave up and the "act like a girl" phase quit for them

    In trans people the brain is one thing and body another, but what is feeling and behaviour? Are one or both dictated by the brain or spiritual?
    I have no idea
    If a guy does guy things and a woman does women things without questioning why they feel and act that way, how can we as trans answer those questions?
    I asked my doc a few questions that I still don't have answers to
    "What makes you a woman?" And "How do you know you're a woman?" We're expected to answer these questions (replace woman with man for us transmen) while those happy with their gender AND are trained in gender issues can't even answer them, I had her cornered at that point, completely at a loss of words

    It's the same with the question "how do you know you're gay?" How do you know you're straight? *silence*

    How does reincarnation fit into all this?
    I have a close friend who is sort of my mother in this life, was my mother centuries ago, fought with what was then him in Normandy (something about the Air Force scathering us all over Normandy and both Divisions mixing) and she had a few other male lives
    She's happy as a female but when a male PL surfaces her behaviour and speech can shift to a more male energy but does that make her question her gender? No because there are more factors to be considered

    I do think that those of us with only one or a predominantly gender incarnations are more inclined to be trans but again, it's a combination which comes back to the questions asked before: "where do behaviour and gender feeling come from?"

    As for PL look similairities, I have clear similairities over all of my lives, even to the point where I can place 2 photo's side by side and only few here will know who's my 1940's self and current self because they've seen them

    Sorry it got this long
     

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