Gender

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Nic, Mar 11, 2002.

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  1. Nic

    Nic Senior Registered

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    Hello,

    I'd be interested to know people's thoughts on whether or not you can choose the sex into which you are born.

    I have always felt very sure that I have lived before, and that somehow that life was cut short, and in my rush to be incarnated again I've returned in a male body by mistake! I know from looking at all the personal web sites out there I'm not the first person to find themselves in this unfortunate situation, and I'm sure that I won't be the last! Naturally I'd like to be able to choose to be female in my next life, does anyone know if this is possible?

    Nic
     
  2. Jefferson

    Jefferson Senior Registered

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    Hello Nic,

    I think it is possible. I think we choose a lot of things about our next life based on what we need to learn or issues that we need to resolve.

    I've often wondered what it's like to be female, but I'm happy being male. I can amuse myself with bodily functions that I would avoid if I was female, I'm a professional slob, I recently wore the same shirt for two weeks straight until I was informed that it was curling the nose-hairs of those nearby, etc. Women just generally don't do those sorts of things, so there are certain freedoms that come with being male. But, I have lived at least one female life and I somehow feel that that is actually my preferred gender to be. But heck, I don't know. I think I would be a lesbian if I was female, but maybe I'm looking at it from a man's point of view.

    In case you haven't guessed, I'm single.

    I hope this has been helpful, or at least humorous. :)

    Jeff
     
  3. leonaraven

    leonaraven Senior Registered

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    Hi Nic: I think it may be possiable to choose what gender we come back as, but I also think it has to do with what lessens we need to learn in the next life or things that need to be worked through that we had problems with in our other lives. In this life I have learned to control my anger and channel it in a good way instead of distructive or at least I am working on it, there still is a problem but not as bad. Most of my lives I think I was a woman, as I am in this one, but at least one maybe two I was a man. The one that I remeber as a man I wasn't very nice, had a lot of anger and rage in me, the other I am not sure about. So in my openion we do choose what sex we come back as, or at least we are asked whitch we would learn the most from. So maybe you are the sex you are because you could learn more in this life being the sex you are. I think being a man would be very hard, although being a woman is no walk in the park on a sunny day. my 2 cents Leonaraven
     
  4. Nic

    Nic Senior Registered

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    Thanks for your replies they're very helpful,

    Being male for me is definitely a learning experience and whilst there are certain freedoms in being male (bodily functions etc!!), just try reading "Cosmopolitan" at your desk, or discussing the customers fashion sence and you'll find that it has its restrictions too! But then perhaps the grass in always greener the other side...

    I think that I can safely say that as a reluctant male I'm learning a great deal from this life. It's taken some time but I think that I'm learning to be a little more patient and less greedy in this life, and accept that you don't always get what you want. My first twenty years were marked by a desperate rush to somehow get back to where I left off in my previous one, when I should have been enjoying my childhood. Although I know very little about my past life, other than a very strong feeling that it was somehow cut short and I was female (and happy being that way, which is perhaps something I realise more now than I did then).

    Although I don't feel comfortabe in my current body, it seems to me that from what I've read in other posts on this site that there is a good chance that one day I'll return as a female, or at least a contented male. Though I fear what other problems that life will have for me to learn from!

    Zetascair20086: I'd be very interested to know how you know so much about your future lives? I'm new to this site so forgive me if you've already covered this in detail, I'm slowly working my way through the huge number of posts here. I've heard of past life regression, but never future life progression.

    Thanks once again,

    Nic
     
  5. Ben

    Ben Synesthetic

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    Bisexuality related to reincarnation?

    If you're attracted to someone of the same sex...is there a connection to reincarnation? Perhaps being an 'opposite' gender than you are now in a pastlife?
     
  6. Tatinne

    Tatinne Senior Registered

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    Oh, definately. I've been pretty much every combination of gender and orientation possible... it's -people- I love, not bodies.

    Blessings,
    Tatinne
     
  7. ssake

    ssake Senior Registered

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    I think there's another distinction to be made, between the influences of being the other sex in past lives, and what you were in your *most recent* lifetime. Also, I think it depends on how much you focused on your sexuality, i.e., how big a part of what you were learning in that lifetime your sexuality was; and, finally, what your thoughts were at death (this is said to set the tone for your next life to a large degree). In my case I've come to the conclusion that while I've been a man in most of my recent lifetimes, and hence my attraction is strongly to women, I think I was a woman--and maybe a lesbian woman--in my most recent lifetime. So I have some feminine character traits (sensitivity, tendency to nurture, etc.)

    Lastly, as has been said in this thread already, you can remain attracted to a person you have close sexual connections with even if you're the same sex in this lifetime (I've met at least one couple who know this was the case for them).
    Steve S.
     
  8. vickilynn

    vickilynn Senior Registered

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    I can see evidence of both genders in this lifetime.
    When I was younger I loved the feeling (still do, but no time lately for physical exertion) of the power of my body while engaging in sports. I am very competitive and I loved the feeling of strength I had while competing. I was disappointed in the girls who talked really "mousy" or wouldn't try hard in athletics (if they were athletic) if boys were around. I am very assertive and I got this from my male lives. I remember more male lives then female, and I was very strong physically in many male lives.
    Anyway, I also get positive comments all the time about my mothering skills. I am very empathic and I experience real joy guiding my children. These traits make it possible for me to be truly honest for the most part, in my relationships. There is nothing about this female life that I would trade.

    That said, how do I feel about these gender influences on my sexuality? Well, I was married before and sex was physically great, but there was something missing. That something is what I experience with my husband now...a mingling of spirits. I yearned for it for years before...I saw it in my mind's eye as a swirling around of our two souls. (Way back before contemplating reincarnation.)I just read Journey of Souls a while back and when one of Newton's subjects described souls "holding" eachother, I realized that that was what I was trying to achieve...and it can be done to some extent here on earth if you're with that right soul.

    SO...I think that bisexual feelings have to do with your soul's recognition of another soul who is near and dear to you and the sexual desire (other than the procreative and sensual desire of your physical body) has to do with a longing to merge and "intimately twirl" together as souls. It doesn't matter what physical gender your soul happens to be cloaked in this time around...
     
  9. Josefina

    Josefina Senior Registered

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    I have memories from lives of women and lives of men, and I feel very much like neither one though my body is average body of a woman.

    In many of my dreams I am a man and I think it's because I was a man in my latest past life (though a monk...) Also I had very few friends in the beginning of my current life, and the lack of female friends may have made me feel like I feel: my MIND is not girlish, and I have no interest what so ever of being a mother and doing things typical for women.

    When I last time was a woman I was molested and maby abused, and certainly I worked as a part time prostitute. I think some woman might have been in love with me, and two men near me started to hate me for that. The other one made horrible things to me, and the other came to be in this current life my partner, who was (he's dead now) tormented by his homosexual tendencies. Also my father may have been bisexual. And in my life I have met men who are not so "manly" as we expect men to be. I guess this is because of my mixed feelings I had in past life/lives.

    ***

    I could fall in love with a woman because of her personality, but it's men I'm after because of their appearance. But very special men: men that are kind of feminine (short, boyish...) And I'm lucky to have one like that now. :)
     
  10. madison

    madison Senior Registered

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    As a lesbian, I don't think my orientation is any "imbalance" in my choice of genders in past lives (ala being male too many times and loving women, and now returning as a woman who still loves women). I remember past lives as both male and female pretty evenly.

    I believe that being gay is an experience I chose to partake of this time around for various reasons - experience being part of a minority, lessons on perseverance and courage, using my lifetime to make civil rights changes on behalf of all minorities in this country, using my life to change people's opinions about other orientations etc.

    I think I chose to be a lesbian this time around both as lessons for myself that I wanted to learn, and for the betterment of human kind (to learn from me as a happy, healthy, whole lesbian person).

    I believe that my "soul group" largely chose to return to incarnate as gay men & lesbians at this particular time in history for reasons, both individual and as a group.

    I, too, view the soul as genderless. The bodies we choose to incarnate into make many decisions for us - will I be ugly or beautiful? Tall or short? Skinny or fat? All those physical attributes contribute to the life experiences we will have while incarnated. Orientation is yet another catagory that provides a variety of experiences. That's all
     
  11. janababy

    janababy Senior Registered

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    Hi! :)

    I strongly believe that we choose our gender for each incarnation, though I do believe that deep down we really are either male or female (I guess you could say that we were "created" that way. I believe our souls have genders, though we are not defined nor restricted by them). I have lived several lives as a male, though I have been female in probably 90% of my lives.

    I am female to the bone, but during my male lives I was VERY masculine with one "flaw". I was very tall, very muscular, a great warrior, etc. My flaw: I was highly compassionate and sensitive. I hated killing, but loved a battle. After killing someone I would go off on my own (if possible), retreat within myself, and mourn the loss of that person. I was never cruel nor ruthless, nor would I kill without absolutely NEEDING to (for self-defence or to protect those I loved.).

    Something else I found out about myself:

    As a male, I was very promiscuous (until I married...more or less), though as a female, I had very few partners (I think, at the most I had been with 2 menin the female lives I remember). I'm sure society played a major part in this, but I have also found that each lifetime after being male, my sexuality had definitely increased.

    I definitely enjoyed certain things about being male, but I have found that I prefer to be female. I prefer being "allowed" to be soft and sweet and not have to put on my "heartless warrior" mask. I also love children and loved being pregnant. Then again, my soul itself is female, so this is probably why I feel such a connection to the "softer" sex.

    Jen. :)
     
  12. Kimba W. Lion

    Kimba W. Lion disguised as a human

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    Same here. I was female in the past life I've remembered, but I believe I chose male this time around because I felt I failed as a mother that time. But I remember thinking, when I was 5 years old, "I would have been happier as a girl."

    From this POV, years and years later, I can say, no I wouldn't have been happier, but I had to learn a few things between then and now.

    Knowing that one can be either male or female frees your mind to look at our society's views of gender from a larger perspective. I'm constantly amazed at how rigidly and blindly locked into stereotypes our world is.

    This perspective gives me a political stance too: Same-sex marriage? That's just two people looking for a happy life together--nothing at all wrong with it.

    Which brings me to religious perspectives... I think I'll shut up now.
     
  13. ladywoodcarver

    ladywoodcarver Senior Registered

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    I dunno

    I know that when I was young (having 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters) I wished I was a boy.
    Boys got treated a lot different from girls in my family. I was born in 1960, Indiana US. Boys were expected to be strong and not cry and I really liked that idea. Boys got to ride their bikes a few hundred yards to town, girls were never let out of sight. I remember watching westerns and wanting to ride a horse more thn anything, but girls had to ride in wagons. I felt like a lesser person than my brothers. Also the clothing issue. I had to wear a dress that you couldn't play in. Keep your legs together... can't hang upside down on the monkey bars...
    Until I was in the 6th grade, girls were forced to wear skirts and dresses. If it was -20 degrees outside we could put pants on under our dress for recess. Recess was mandatory, and I was very cold-sensitive. For an hour after recess, I couldn't even think, I was shivering too hard.
    In my family, girls did dishes every night, and cleaned house every day. Boys mowed the lawn and took trash out once a week.
    It wasn't a matter for me of 'sexual ' preference, I wanted to be a boy cause they got to DO THINGS! After puberty, all that changed for me, but I still think about it a lot.
    :)
    Donna
     
  14. Obie

    Obie Senior Registered

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    I was reading a thread on here about a boy who said he wanted to be a girl but "they" wouldn't let him. He played with dolls and in his mothers clothes a lot. Is that possible that spirit guides or whomever wont allow a person to be a certain gender?
     
  15. janababy

    janababy Senior Registered

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    :) I remember that thread, Obie, and no, I don't think anyone has the power to decide for us what our next incarnation will be -- it's all up to us. Perhaps he had agreements with those souls close to him; those agreements are contracts -- once you agree to something, you're stuck fulfilling it. NO ONE will allow you to back out once those plans have been set.

    I had made agreements (more like someone close to me talked me into it and I was so over-confident I thought it would be a piece of cake) and that's why I took on one more incarnation. I plan this to be my final one, but in all honesty, if the right situation came about or I was needed desperately to help another soul with their perfection; I'd end up coming back yet again...But I'm definitely hoping that doesn't happen for several million "years"! ;) It's time for a looooong break (and I'm only 23; I've got decades and decades left this time around!). I've got a long wait left before I return home... :)


    Jen.
     
  16. monty_mike

    monty_mike Registered

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    TWIN SOULS (extracted from Past Lives by John Van Auken)

    This brings us to one of the strangest concepts concerning soul relationships, that of "Twin Souls". Prior to entering the duality of the earth a soul is androgenous, possessing both the male and female sexual forces within one complete soul. As the soul enters the world it selects one of the two sexual natures and projects the unique characteristics of this sex while incarnate. Usually, the sex projected by the soul is the same as the physical body into which it incarnates, but not always. Sometimes a soul can be manifesting its female nature and yet incarnate into a male body, resulting in an effeminate male, and the reverse can occur, as well.


    If you'd like to know more, let me know.
     
  17. Feech

    Feech Senior Registered

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    (quoting monty_mike who is quoting John Van Auken)

    "Prior to entering the duality of the earth a soul is androgenous, possessing both the male and female sexual forces within one complete soul."

    I know this is a very common concept but I don't fully believe it. I was a homosexual male soul before I came to Earth, even before I could have had any use for a sexuality of any kind, it was just my nature. I'm still a homosexual male, but in this lifetime I panicked and chose a female body because of shame issues from the previous life. In my life as a drake, I was outwardly a straight male.

    I don't think any and every soul is necessarily androgynous until suddenly taking on some aspect of gender immediately upon conception. I also don't see how that works when the soul then reincarnates, since between lives, they would go back to being androgynous, but spirits seem to often be recognizable as the genders they were or will be, rather than androgynous entities. Besides, because of my experience I doubt that androgyny is a spirit trait versus gender being a physical trait. If we emphasize the spirit as androgynous, that is somewhat applying gender issues of some kind to it. Being composed of male and female means male and female are in it, rather than created upon the creation of life, so it would seem that gender might as well exist before the creation of life in a separate as well as blended state. Additionally, some people are androgynous when incarnate. The blended state can be seen in some people on Earth.

    Some people here on the forum feel that all souls are of one gender and only incarnate as that gender, but I do feel that some of us switch around. I think that we can also switch around in the spirit world, if we so choose or if we are influenced to so, but I don't feel that my soul has changed its nature and orientation since its creation as a recognizable individual, while the nature of some souls includes gender change. My gender changes have only been, to my mind, outward, and physical so far.

    If we choose our incarnations, I wasn't fully aware at the life-consciousness level of that when I died, and didn't choose what I should have chosen for my peace of mind, which was a male body. However, I can see some reasons for choosing the female body on a level of "well this will teach you something". So I can see some possible reasons why, for example, a spirit helper or something didn't _stop_ me from being physically female. For one thing... I'd be so contented I probably wouldn't have accomplished much. :p But I can think of two other reasons too. But being male is my natural state and it's painful at times to not be so in body. :/
     
  18. Kimba W. Lion

    Kimba W. Lion disguised as a human

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    In a universe born of perfect love, we immortal souls must have complete free will; perfect love would not impose anything and, being immortal, we have the time and opportunities to choose and to make mistakes. So a soul would not be created with intrinsic qualties related to gender or species or anything else, but could acquire preferences for specific attributes. Perhaps those who say that a soul has one gender have developed such a deep preference that they cannot consider ever changing.
    Interesting that you cite shame as the reason for choosing your body's gender. It's a similar situation for me. I remember at the age of 5, thinking, 'I would have been much happier as a girl'. Now, many years later, I can see that I would have made some bad mistakes if I had chosen that gender, mistakes that would probably have reinforced my negative feelings. So, even if I chose male as a manifestation of the unhappy feelings I carried with me from a past life, ultimately I managed to work through those feelings, and hopefully I can make choices based on happier motives in lives to come.

    Besides, how can you know for sure you prefer being one unless you try the other once in a while? :)
     
  19. Feech

    Feech Senior Registered

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    (quoting Kimba)
    "Perhaps those who say that a soul has one gender have developed such a deep preference that they cannot consider ever changing."

    That seems to make sense.

    "Besides, how can you know for sure you prefer being one unless you try the other once in a while?"

    Good point. :)
     
  20. Chelle

    Chelle Probationary

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    I am female, and can't imagine having ever been anything else. I have been female in my last 4 or 5 lives. Of the dozen or more past life persona's I have glimpsed, only one was male. However, I am aware that I carry knowledge of being male, even if I can't remember having been so.

    I would hesitate to state that my preference has always been female, although it certainly is now. My reasoning is that :

    1. I sincerely doubt I have caught glimpses of all my lives. For all I know my earliest lives may have been predominately male and that's why my more recent lives are predominately female. I don't know because I can't remember.

    2. It may be that I tend to remember my female lives because the female "feeling" is more familiar to me in this life. To remember being in a male body would seem very foriegn to my present life me.
     
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