Hi Kitn~
I've been away for awhile - - not sure why - - but just read the updates to the thread and feel like you are reaching two pinnacles ... one is that you are finding the final pieces of the puzzle to put it together. The other is that Kade is nearing the age where he will begin forgetting and offering less and less information.
I'm feeling confident that the recent information supplied above is truly helpful. My gut is telling me that diyati is a native american word, though I have no real knowledge of N.A. language. And I'm sorry if my offerings of "feelings" are foreward, but I got other gut feelings when I read the updates and sometimes my gut is right, so I'm just offering ...
I don't think his "father" was deceased. I think his parents may have been divorced or separated and that his father visited. I believe it was a "visit" that upset an inebriated Todd [boyfriend] beyond self-control.
I grew up in the late '60's and through the 70's - - I remember visiting family in the country and they had limited electric, a "cook stove" with the "sewer covers" like you described and old vehicles out in the field. Also, I had siblings that were significantly older than me (11, 16, and 18 years older) and I had MANY hand-me-down games. We didn't go buy everything "new" all of the time the way Americans do today. Yard sales were frequented and outside family also handed-down things. I had a Dr. John doll - - do you remember those? I'm not sure when those came out, but they weren't being sold when I was a kid - - it was a "hand-me-over" from some older cousins. I guess what I'm saying is that he could've lived more recently than what we initially thought.
Also, I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry for your losses. I know your heart is very wounded and wish I could just give you hug. I'm glad the one girl was thoughtful enough to send you the pictures of Casey and her thoughtful letter - - some people don't know how to approach some things and therefore don't.
Well, I guess that's all I have to say and I know I didn't really have much of anything to offer, but just felt compelled to respond.
I would also love to hear Kade's "swing" song. I have a feeling that it comes to him when he's in that non-interactive "mode" - - like when riding in a car and staring out of a window, and therefore may be completely unconscious of even singing a song. *shrugs*
Blessings
~Kathy