I've been quiet for a couple of weeks now. I haven't even stayed in contact with the friends I've made here. I find talking reincarnation exhausting and soul sucking at times. Although not talking about it can be even worse for me. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place really. Also I can't separate my past selves, particularly my immediate past self, from who I am today. Its not only because I am so similar but its also because the root of my trauma stems from having been retroactively traumatised from the things I have done in my past and current lives because my consciousness has been awakened to a new viewpoint about the nature of the evil people do to each other. I find it all overwhelming. I'm only drinking about three nights a week though so I'm curbing that. Also when I read of multiple claimants to a certain life I wonder how I would respond to that if it happened to me? I would be rightly annoyed. Some of my friends here know my full story so they have a better perspective on why my past selves, particularly Collins, are linked intrinsically to my current life's journey. To my mind I don't hold a belief, I am indisputedly them. I am apprehensive of the day when someone cheapens my claim with their own claim to my past life/lives. They don't have my brain nor my soul. All these things have been going through my head lately. I had yet another sleepless night last night because I didn't drink. As a result I was too exhausted to go out and see my daughter. Also when I'm exhausted my PTSD feels closer to the surface and I wouldn't be fully there for her so I had to put off seeing her until mid week. I haven't had a new past life memory in months, not a visual one anyway. The others I don't know how to access as memories because they are more akin to past life feelings. Other members say I should accept then as being pl related but I'm more of a visual person. I just wanted to share where I'm at.