How can I reincarnate into a very rich life next round?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by GrandSoul239, Oct 18, 2017.

  1. GrandSoul239

    GrandSoul239 New Member

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    I wanted to get everyone's thoughts on how some people manage to get lives where all the big trends go in their favor and they are equipped with talents / skills / personalities / backgrounds that enable them to attain monetary success and financial independence. I've personally seen many people who have obtained significant wealth (>$10 million), and who have had basically big industry / market / career trends all tip in their favor that allowed them to gain an edge over competitors who worked equally hard but had less fortunate circumstances.

    My theories:

    1. Karma - the wealth that these people enjoy in their current lives is a result of positive karma they've accrued in a past life. If this is true, then could spending more time helping people, doing things with a generous heart, donating to the poor / volunteering at orphanages, soup kitchens, feeding homeless animals, etc... contribute to a more financially prosperous life the next time around?

    2. Soul planning and soul evolution - according to believers of soul evolution (for example, the Michael Teachings) - people who easily and seemingly effortlessly obtain financial or career success are at the infant to young stages of soul evolution, where the primary lesson to be learned is power, money, and control over others. Souls at this stage of evolution, regardless of past karma created, will be born into situations where they can explore these themes (wealth, power, control, independence, etc...) in detail. Souls at the young stage actively plan for a life where things work out for them, enable them to achieve tremendous career success, and have power over others. For example, someone in this situation would be Donald Trump or Vladimir Putin, who seemingly treat the world with disdain yet everything seems to fall in place for these guys. According to soul evolution theory, karma is paid during the later mature stages of the soul rather than immediately in the next life.

    3. Vows / sheer hard work from past lives (similar to law of attraction): Under this theory, a person can achieve significant wealth and career success as a result of fulfilling a leftover vow or unfulfilled hard work from a previous life. For example, if person A was a poor person in a previous life, but so desperately wanted to be rich that he was able to commit 100% to his career, even if he didn't end up being successful because of bad circumstances, the soul of personal A wanted to be wealthy so badly that in a subsequent life, he vowed to reincarnate into better circumstances that would allow him to "fulfill his mission", in a way. So under this approach, one should work has hard as one can in one's current life, despite negative circumstances, and once one's negative karma has been paid off, one's efforts in this life could yield fruits of prosperity and wealth in a subsequent life. Note that this theory differs from traditional "karma" in the sense that this theory says that one becomes wealthy by "working hard", rather than "doing good deeds", although the fruits of your hard work could be seen only in subsequent lives.

    4. Roll of the dice (no karma, no souls) - statistically speaking, some will be luckier than others. No god, no souls, no karma, no reincarnation, just plain cold-hearted chance. Obviously I'd like to think this option isn't true, but many atheists believe in this option.

    Just trying to understand from a deeper level, what do you think you can do in this life to increase your chances of becoming wealthy in a future life? I'd like to think the ultimate goal of life isn't to amass as much wealth as possible, but I'd had a very challenging life where most of the major things would literally always not work in my favor, which has led me to a lot of soul searching and pondering if I'd done something bad in my previous life to cause this, as I have seen some people who literally have all the major factors in life working in their favor (family background, career opportunities, love life, health, etc...), even though many treat less fortunate people with disdain or indifference, even though they have the wealth to help improve the lives of many other people.

    What fundamentally is the reason behind why some achieve wealth and others don't, despite similar amounts of hard work / effort? What determines who gets born into circumstances that allow for high probability of financial / career success?
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2017
  2. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    GrandSoul239, My comfort level in your divisions would lie within 2-3, but what I heard from your posts is a feeling of being an "outcast" and "powerless", and I would like to address that if I might without disrupting or hijacking your thread.

    I'm coming from the perspective of having had some success in financial matters and have had a taste of both "power" and being an "outcast" in that I was "damaged goods", face discrimination in various ways, and being excluded. I've also found that age alone does not bring wisdom and/or understanding, unfortunately. I hardly know where to start having just now reread your first three posts, but I want to mention that I do not think that Karma is a tit-for-tat type of thing that you might think it is, although I would be at a loss to define it exactly. I would suggest that you read through this forum to expand your understanding of it as it is a bit more complicated than that.

    I'm trying to think of how to say what I feel without turning you off while stating my thoughts clearly which is difficult for me since I usually abbreviate my messages, but I'll take that course here as well and come straight out with it - True wealth has nothing to do with a great amount of money or power, as a matter of fact, both will lead to disillusionment and sorrow if not adequately prepared for, which takes more time, effort, and desire than most people are prepared to invest - this fits in with your option #3 above. But, perhaps you need to experience that to truly understand what I'm telling you - which fits with option #2.

    The second thing I'd like to mention is that you should not expect to be rewarded for doing good deeds. Doing unto others in a loving and helpful manner is to be congratulated and appreciated, but not rewarded as it should be selfless in my opinion (thus excluding option #1 above somewhat). The problem that a lot of us have is that our ego is suffering in one way or another and interferes with our actions.

    And concerning the "not fitting in" that you mentioned in another thread, until you are able to accept yourself completely, you will not "fit in". Until you reach a point where that is no longer an issue with you it will remain a hurtful issue affecting your interaction with others and the outcome. Yes, discrimination occurs, we all do it in one way or another, some more so than others. Do not consider it a Punishment or Handicap because you are indeed experiencing something that not many people on this forum are capable of understanding - learn all you can from this experience without feelings of inferiority, anger, or a Need to be different than you are.
    If you leave the "born" out of the question I think I've addressed it in general terms. If you leave the word in it, I have only a vague idea myself but I don't think it matters all that much.
     
  3. baro-san

    baro-san Active Member

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    I believe that everybody gets what they deserve, on average. As good / bad are relative terms, I try to do what I think is good. I hear others' opinions, but I have no way to know who's right / wrong, so I use my judgement and my intuition to decide. I also pay attention to what happens to me on average, and draw conclusions, from which I learn, and try to improve.

    I think that it is essential to use my free will, and also to let everybody else use theirs. Surely, I interact, express and hear opinions, arguments, but ultimately everybody should make use of their free will, because they'll support the consequences.

    Many people look at others and think those are happy / unhappy, but ultimately everybody can know that only about themselves. We don't really know how they appreciate what they have, what problems they have, what they do. But we can be sure our envy and bitterness hurt us, not them.

    As far as I understand the Karma is a law of balancing, like on a scale, and works at all the levels of the Universe, physical and nonphysical. More specifically, for each one of us, it applies to our thoughts, our desires, and our actions. This is the reason for which envy and bitterness hurt us. This also means that our ignorance (lack of knowledge and understanding, innate or as result of our behaviour) hurts us too. Acting of good intentions, but having bad results, still hurts us, less, but still hurts us.

    Somebody can wish to have wealth to spread it around, but blaming others for his lack of success, and for the way those choose to do with their wealth, turns around and hurts us.

    I believe that each one of us came into this life with a purpose, a lesson to experience. As long as we don't achieve this goal we'll suffer, but once we did we'll get rewarded with a good life, by our own specific standard.

    I guess that you don't have a clue what is your current life's lesson to experience, so my recommendation is that the first goal for you should be to find that.
     
  4. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Wealth on its own is like gasoline. Some people superficially splash it everywhere only to place themselves in a hell of their own making. They suffer till the end of their resources ... because their wealth makes it possible for them to "burn" hotter and longer than they could have without it. Others have (or learn) the insight to avoid the inherent risk in what they hold and instead invest the energy of their wealth into the world and do their best to create the good that people with less couldn't accomplish as quickly.

    Whether you deserve or earn it isn't the point. If you don't wisely invest the little you have now in this life, then why worry over how much more you might have another time? The likelihood that anyone could handle more better than they handle a small amount isn't very great. I think for some people not being wealthy is a gift they've given to themselves while they figure out how to invest their life in what does matter in the long run.
     
  5. GrandSoul239

    GrandSoul239 New Member

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    KenJ, I appreciate your detailed response to my original post. As you've correctly stated, the impetus behind my original question arose from my observances and challenges in my current life, where, I have seen time and time again, that hard work, even determined, calculated hard work, is simply insufficient in and of itself for monetary or career success. You cannot simply will yourself into earning huge amounts of money or getting promoted at work, no matter how you believe in the law of attraction or any other mental trick. I've seen people, including myself so far, work extensively and diligently their whole lives (so far) and have nothing to show for it, and I've seen others who have all the big trends work in the favor and make millions effortlessly. They just happen to meet the right mentors, find the right fit, make the right friends, have the right majors in a growing industry, find the right investor, etc.... You cannot simply say, "I make it my goal to get rich", and succeed. Many factors, beyond your control, need to tip in your favor. But what determines this element of "luck"? Is it really "luck"? Soul planning? Positive karma? I don't know.

    Without going into huge amounts of details about my life, I have personally experienced that monetary fortune seems to follow people, not actions. I know people who seem to succeed regardless of what they do, whatever they touch turns to gold, while for others, regardless of hard work, effort, even smart work, something always goes wrong and they do not achieve financial success or independence.

    I'm not sure what my life purpose is to be honest. As you've read from my previous posts, I have found myself in a very uncomfortable situation where I am stuck between two cultures, and cannot fully relate to either. That prevents me from a lot of lucrative job opportunities that are available to people on either sides. I'm an extremely hard worker, and have really put in my 200% in trying to build a career, relating to people, interviewing and sending resumes, etc.... but there is no doubt in my mind that my positioning in the awkward grey area between two cultures prevents many people from relating to me, and thereby opening networking and career opportunities. But this was out of my control, I have done nothing to deserve experiencing this awkwardness and loneliness, and hence I got into spirituality, perhaps initially as an emotional clutch.

    It's funny, throughout my life, I've noticed a peculiar pattern. I have a very perfectionist, ambitious, but extremely hard-working and diligent personality (the standard Virgo description). But since my teenage years, several instances of bullying have molded me into someone who is very strong-willed and very ambitious for material success, to prove to the world I have value. However, ironically, things have happened in a way that, once I left the gates of school and entered real life, have prevented me from fully integrating with society and thus satisfying my immense desire to create something of value I can call my own (a business, a track record, a business deal, etc...). I just find this conundrum so frustrating that I was literally "forced" into believing reincarnation, if not anything else, just to make myself feel a bit better about my life situation and the ironic way it played out. I literally feel that God gave me a very alpha and determined personality, but at the same time put me in a situation where I cannot easily gain acceptance from anyone and am a permanent minority in whatever society I am. I went to great universities but due to changes in my industry, I am struggling to find a job. It's very ironic because I know many peers who clearly did not have as much passion or dedication to their craft, partied much more than I did, but mysteriously they advance in their career much smoother than I have, mainly due to those issues outside of my control. In fact, many of my friends often ask me for career advice, like I'm sort of a more mature person than they are (even though we are similar age), these people look up to me, but they get jobs more easily than I do simply because they "click" with the interviewers more! It's very frustrating to watch all the people you help or mentor just get more lucky breaks than you and you have to endure all the humiliations of not finding a job even though you are, by experience, passion, credentials, etc.... the best fit for the job. It just feels that god created me to be "different" from the get-go, and that no amount of hard work or personality molding can change this predetermined reality. From this experience, I've slowly but surely learned that success from a career or monetary point of view is just as much luck or destiny as it is hard work (I would say 70% destiny and 30% hard work). But I still struggle everyday to understand why I would be born this way, why couldn't I be one of those guys who fits in with other young people, parties, and gets the lucky breaks in the right industries? Or at least understand HOW I can behave in this life, so that my next life is like that. I just need a break!

    I'm really not sure what my life mission would be. It could be having to experience what it feels like to not fit anywhere, or to help others who have similar problems. But at the same time, I need to find a job to support my family, and to hopefully achieve financial independence during my latter years. Above all, I just want to have it easy the next time around (next life), take a rest from this daily struggle to fit in and to find relevance in my existence. For the past 10 years, it's been a real struggle. Hopefully things will get easier.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2017
  6. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    GrandSoul239, I have no doubt that you have truly tried to do your best to achieve the level of financial security and acceptance that you state, I am sorry that it has alluded you. There are several occupations that I can think of where personal details are not important, perhaps taking some aptitude test would lead you to a career choice where you could meet your objectives. I know from personal experience that there are some things that you simply are not successful in doing while other things, that you are less interested in, may be more successful.

    There is no way of getting around the issue of "the first impression" other than social media as far as visual attributes. So, yes, some people have distinct advantages over others in that respect. Yet even with things written there is a first impression, and yours is good by the way.

    To directly address your question about being "born to succeed" kind of thing I don't really know. For my preferred method, I think it takes attitude, diligence, persistence, and the ability to see and take advantage of opportunities. The other method is through power gained through force or inheritance, however neither of these get as much respect and they accumulate resistance to a greater extent I think.

    You are in a unique position to see the flaws and good in each culture, perhaps that is something you could build from, but that would certainly be a difficult road to take since the negative issues would create more distance for you.
     
  7. GrandSoul239

    GrandSoul239 New Member

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    KenJ, thanks for the support. I do beg to differ from your view that success somehow depends on attitude, diligence, persistence, and taking advantage of opportunities. From what I've seen, to be able to take advantage of opportunities when they arise is in itself a type of luck. If you're not born the right background or ethnicity or even the right looks, you may not take advantage of these opportunities even when they arise. Life isn't as easy as "just go out and do it". To do anything, you need the right people to support you, to hire you, to use your skills, to give you a chance, etc.... and that all depends on whether they ultimately like your or not, which in turn depends on factors beyond your control (and often, subconsciously, beyond theirs). If you read Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers, you will understand what I'm saying.

    I've personally seen people who seem to be born with charisma. I can say and do the exact same things as them and people will react to what they do and say in a very positive light, and basically write me off. I've seen too many situations where I've perfected my craft to the best of my abilities, I've done all I could do, and yet, someone else less experienced comes in and gets the job or the opportunity simply because some facet of them makes a better connection with an employer or an investor. It's very strange, I guarantee you it's not my negative attitude, as for the past 15 years I have had periods of positive and negative outlooks on life and even in times where I've had a positive outlook, the big things in life like marriage, career, monetary success, building a network, have always eluded me for the weirdest reasons. Many of my disappointments have even shocked my friends, as they also cannot explain why I would always have a tendency of working so hard but getting the worst results.

    Which makes me think is there a past life cause for my repeated series of disappointments. Could this because I've already had a very successful life in a past life and now am paying the karma? Since I was a kid, I've always been more mature than others my age. I was never impressed nor concerned with money since my teenage years, as I would put passion before money and always believed that as long as I had passion and did something with 100% heart money would follow. That seemed very different from most of my peers who seemed to want money, hot girls, etc... for showing off. But as time went on, I've realized that these "superficial" people, many tend to get exactly what they want, even if they are superficial, and a person like me who cares more about passion gets shafted almost each and every time. I used to be able to pick myself up and keep going, but after so many of these strange failures I'm having second thoughts about what I should be doing in my life, it seems that God is sending me a signal that I should not pursue money and career success at all. But if not, what else should I be doing? I still need to have income to sustain myself.

    I've spoken with people who have made in, including managing directors at banks and hedge fund managers and lawyers, and when I've told them about my cultural isolation issue (not fitting in anywhere from a cultural and appearance standpoint), they almost all react by saying that this is an issue, but they have never thought that anyone could be in this situation, or they themselves never had to deal with this issue before. So this is clearly a sign that I'm experiencing something that most people never have to deal with, for fully understand, or take for granted.

    I've spoken with my parents about this issue, but they reacted with anger and not understanding. Twice, they told me to get out of the house, called me a loser and just told me to be confident and everything would be fine. That is clearly not the case in reality, as there are some things that don't work even if you pretend to be all confident. It's not that easy. And the way my parents have treated me when I've shared these issues with them have only increased my loneliness, as even my parents cannot see my pain and my reality (neither of them are bi-cultural, and fit perfectly into at least one dominant culture). Neither of my parents have had the experience of not fitting in anywhere, and they cannot come to grips with my reality, and choose to deny my reality altogether so they can hide their own insecurities. My parents have refused to try to understand my situation, and have said the nastiest and ugliest things about me, including calling me mentally ill and crazy lunatic, which I am not. I become quite estranged from them as they are narcissists who cannot see things from anyone else's point of view. Oddly enough, both my parents have enjoyed tremendously smooth lives where the big trends have tipped in their favor, which makes them very unsympathetic to anyone else's trials and tribulations as they tend to attribute these trials and tribulations to the person's lack of hard work rather than bad life circumstances out of their control. But that is clearly not the case, but I have no way of making them see things from a different point of view. They have chosen not to support my or even their parents financially and have become estranged from everyone else in the family, as they think they deserve everything they have because they simply worked hard (they do not see the luck element in their success). My mother in particular is a borderline narcissist who only sees things from her own perspective, and my father is particularly prone to saying bad things about me to my mother behind my back. They are typical examples of successful, narcissistic people who think the world owes them everything. But even if I act in such a manner, I cannot achieve financial success like they have.

    I've thought about suicide many times, and it still lingers in my head. I've thought about just buying a gun and shooting myself in the head to end this pain of seeing nothing I do pay off. If I buy a stock, even after hundreds of hours of research and placing my investment, the stock will usually tank for an unforeseen, totally off the ball reason. I've seen this many times. Seems like no matter what I do there is something behind the scenes that tries to screw things up for me. I'm really tired of living a life where things just don't line up, and hard work doesn't pay off. I'm not suicidal at the present but if something else comes along the road I'm not sure I can resist the urge to jump down a building or by gun. I'm just so sick of living a life where everyday I hear "the secret to success is hard work" but reality clearly doesn't comport with these slogans. I've tried for years, and peers often tell me I've really dedicated and intense for my age, but I get the worst results, and have absolutely nothing to show for it. I often feel like the point of my entire existence is to let others feel good about themselves, but what did I do to deserve being in this position? I want to make progress myself, and see the fruits of my hard work. I'm really lost.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2017
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  8. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    GrandSoul239, your plight remained in my mind after I wrote before. I felt that what I wrote was too general and lacked the feeling that I truly felt, but did not know how to express it better at the time. We all build our realities based on our experiences, so like you, I can only assemble the pieces to fit together in a limited fashion as dictated by those viewpoints. My original thoughts from your initial post were memories of "How can I support my family" since my injury negated my prior occupation and primary interests in this lifetime. It did not help when children would point at me when I was in public and their parents would shush them, that was my reality that I looked through to see your reality. It did not include other aspects that you experience just as your experience does not include all of mine. What I intended was that I understood, as best I'm able, some of what you wrote about, but part of the difference was that I lost much of what you say you have not obtained - not the same, but close.

    The opportunities to get where you want to be are sometimes scarce and maybe difficult to see as they present themselves, that is why I suggested that you take some aptitude tests to narrow down the areas where you would probably find the best fit in the long run - I should have taken that step more seriously myself since it took several years for me to "lower" my desires and considered working for someone else rather than being self-employed. As it turned out, that was actually more rewarding in the long run, but your experience will probably be different. I do know that cutting this "existence" short and then having to then find yourself having to deal with it again later is a poor option, I've been there.

    Returning to the question of how all of this relates to reincarnation and whether or not it is your Karma, I doubt that anyone could tell you with any certainty. My feelings are that it is a test that you chose for some reason where the answer is not to be clear to you while you are taking it - of course that is the reason for some tests! At this time, the only thing that I am able to offer is my wish that you find your "break" you are looking for.
     
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  9. baro-san

    baro-san Active Member

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    Regarding Karma and reincarnation, I recently read an interpretation given in Henry Bolduc's "Journey Within", Chapter 9, "Progressions, Balance and Counterbalance", by the Eternals, spirits channeled by Daniel Clay Pugh, during Edgar Cayce like hypnotic sessions facilitated by Bolduc.
     
  10. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing Registered

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    Hi Grandsoul,

    I've been reading your story with great interest. The thing I am going to say is definitely not meant to hurt or insult you.
    I'll keep it short.
    You tell us that your parents are narcissistic and you tell us that your own values are about passion and not money.
    Still, your initial basic question was about earning big money and becoming rich.
    This is what I see: the son of narcissistic parents who desperately wants their approval in life. He seeks it in a direction that doesn't fit him, a place where he doesn't belong.
    It might be self-sabotage done by the beautiful (Grand)soul who you are. Don't think this is a negative thing, just the contrary. It's self-protection. Your life is too precious to waste it chasing goals that are not really yours.
    So...
    I would say... turn around, change course.... start putting yourself first in a healthy way ... narcissistic people will never be pleased. Once you are a millionaire, they will complain about new items. It's their system to make people feel inadequate and insecure. Leave this road (even if it involves professional psychological help) and find your own personal road to happiness.
    You seem to be a nice and good person and I am absolutely sure your luck will be somewhere else. The law of attraction really works, sometimes slow sometimes real quick.

    And about being bi-cultural: my son (who is also bi-cultural) also had problems finding work and then, out of nowhere he found a job with an international enterprise who stressed that they only wanted people who were multi-cultural orientated because the co-workers came from all places around the world (ICT). He is having the time of his life now.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. GrandSoul239

    GrandSoul239 New Member

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    fireflydancing, thanks for your reply and words of encouragement. I'm not in this to impress my parents. What I meant in my previous posts, regarding passion, was that I clearly don't feel that the results I am seeing with my career and life so far are commensurate with the level of passion and dedication I'm putting in. I can't write my entire life in a post, but I KNOW for a fact that I've put in far more hours and passion into my craft than my peers, many of whom are doing the bare necessities to get a job. But it turns out, that during my job search, people don't seem to care much about this passion, this extra hard work, the fact that I've taught myself so much more than what's required for my age, etc....

    Hypothetical example, it's like if you work out every day and build very sexy abs, you put in the hours in the gym to make your body appealing and beautiful, and I sit at home and do a bare amount of exercise a day. We both apply to a modeling contest and somehow I get the job with my mediocre body and minimal effort, while you get rejected despite you having dedicated your life to building a body for this very purpose. How do you feel? It won't be easy to accept for you, because you've put in the blood and sweat (hard work) to pursue your dream, only to watch others who have obviously not put in as much get the opportunity you have worked so hard to covet.

    That's basically how I feel right now. I'm not aiming super high, such as becoming a movie star, billionaire, celebrity, or president. I just want a job where I can apply my passion and there's a niche in the market for my talents. Unfortunately, as I said before, due to the mixed-race, mixed-culture dilemma, the market has no natural niche for someone of my background. That's what's causing my depression, and what's forcing me to view life in a new, spiritual manner.

    I don't want to impress my parents. What I want is to live with a purpose, a sense of meaning. The fact that I don't belong in either cultures makes me feel worthless, marginal, and ostracized. I covet a sense of belonging and a sense of safety and community. I've very much passionate about my career and want to wake up everyday with hope that if I strive hard, I can have a bright future. But the fact that you don't belong in either side is extremely painful and limiting. Obviously, as you alluded to before, I would like to get that sense of "my hard work is paying off", and make more money over time, but I don't really see anything wrong with the pursuit of money. After all, who doesn't need money? I don't see anything fundamentally wrong with that. But I am willing to work my *** off for it, but my mixed-race identity shuts a lot of doors for me that would not have been shut otherwise, and are open for most other people. Basically, to summarize, I feel like I've been short-changed in my current life and my potential artificially limited by factors which I had absolutely no control over. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who feels like this, but I still believe I have a right to describe my situation.

    Going back to what my life lesson could be, sometimes I can't help but feel like my life lesson is to understand that I have no control over my life, and that something greater is in control. Because the way it's going right now, and the way it has gone for the past several years, I have literally no control over my life, hard work doesn't pay off, networking doesn't pay off. This is what I've learned from experience. I can't help but feel that the entire point of my current life is to learn firsthand that I do not control my life, that something bigger and greater is in control, forcing me to turn to spirituality as a clutch. I don't know, maybe I'm at the fourth stage of soul evolution - the "mature" stage, where karma from previous stages is being paid off.
     
  12. baro-san

    baro-san Active Member

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    @GrandSoul239

    I believe that you can't rationalize your life lesson. It has to come to you while in an altered state of consciousness; it has to come to you from inside. In my experience it is always something that is stated in 1-2 words only. Like your "my life lesson is to understand that I have no control over my life, and that something greater is in control" vs. "humility", or "suffering", or "adapting", or "duty".

    I don't recall reading what is the career you have passion for, but all of us are subjective in evaluating performance, both ours, and others', so we have to deal with that.

    If you follow the altered states of consciousness path, you can find out what is the past reason that caused your current specific problem. You can't do anything about changing the past, but you can understand, and accept the present. Then you can build from there.

    During regression, when I asked to be shown a "past life that marked the most spiritual progress", I was shown a life as a monk, in the 14th century Stratford-on-Avon, England. As an orphan living in the streets, I was adopted and taken care of by an abbey. I spent all that life there, doing my duties, without a fervent belief in God. In time I got some administrative responsibilities, then I became an educator of younger monks. Lectia vietii: obedience.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2017
  13. GrandSoul239

    GrandSoul239 New Member

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    baro-san, thanks for your detailed explanation. I'm really not sure how to enter an altered state of consciousness, can you give some suggestions? From what you said, it sounds like my life goal could be: "humility", "failure", "suffering", "mediocrity", "different" or "disappointment". I'm inclined to go with "humility", "different (as in not fitting in)" or "disappointment" (meaning, you get a lot less than you put in).

    Other people have also talked about putting yourself in the right environment, but the main problem with my identity crisis, is that there is no natural market (location, geography, country, industry) where people like me thrive. This is what made me realize where a lot of people take this point for granted. For the average person, they never have to worry about identity and fitting in - it is natural. Dogs hang out with dogs, cats with cats. Birds of a feather flock together. The problem is I don't have a natural place to go to feel like I belong - it isn't an option for me. What's the point of living a life where everyone else is partying, dating, starting businesses, making money, traveling, and I'm wasting all this time to "fit in"?

    I congratulate fireflydancing's son for finding a place where he fits, but in all honesty, there's not many places like that for us to fit in. It's no guarantee that I find a similar place, and it's even rarer to find a place like that which also can pay me to work so I can make a living. While everyone else is naturally finding the perfect fit and enjoying successful, fulfilling careers, I'm stuck in limbo with very limited opportunities. All in all, still feels very disappointing - I went to a top university but you realize the world isn't all about hard work, dumb luck is really a prerequisite for success. Only when you have that, does subsequent hard work actually make a difference.

    Thanks for all your advice though. I'm trying my best to adapt and adjust.
     
  14. baro-san

    baro-san Active Member

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    (1) I use self hypnosis. Others use meditation, etc..

    (2) Your life lesson is only one of those, not an enumeration, or combination.

    (3) I don't know your specific situation, but I like to believe that there are many groups of people that would accept you, although you're different. Ultimately we're all different, and we're all the same, and I don't say this just to sound interesting. It is a matter on what we focus on at any given moment.

    (4) I know a few people who graduated from the finest US colleges, just to find out that they've picked careers that aren't in demand now. Others gave up jobs /careers after being downsized, schooled themselves again, to eventually fall back on their original careers, when they found out that it is even more difficult to find a job in the new domain. If you find out that you made a bad choice, write it off, and plan something else, after a mature deliberation. Life isn't easy, even for those that seem to have it easy. I know that luck is always involved, but I believe that in time it averages out, and it is also mostly a matter of outside perception,

    Good luck! :)
     
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  15. baro-san

    baro-san Active Member

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    I read this piece of news. and I thought about How can I reincarnate into a very rich life next round?:

    Albert Einstein's "theory of happiness" fetched $1.3 million at an auction.

    The Nobel-winning scientist's musings on a handwritten note sheds light on one of the great modern minds.

    The auction house said Einstein scribbled the note in German to a bellboy while traveling in Japan in 1922 after he did not have cash to give him a tip. It says: "A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness."

    Tuesday's bidding began at $2,000, and quickly escalated.
     
  16. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing Registered

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    I guess I tell you more about my son. He was born with extremely difficult behavior and from 1,5 to 11 years old spend his time in special schools where he often was put daily in a special room to control his outbursts. At the age of 9, he decided to change his life by his own choice. He managed to get accepted by a normal and decent secondary school when he was 11 (as the only boy from his former school). That particular year our luck was non-existent. My son had to face robbers in the house on his own, was threatened by them later, was again the victim of an armed robbery in our house together with his father. With a gun on his head, they were counting down to kill him in order to get money from my husband. He remained very calm, but one day at school he started a fight with a boy who had teased him with words like: Why don't you start crying....
    He was expelled immediately from school (11 years old) and no other school wanted to accept him after this incident. He was broken, saw all his hard work (behavioral change) vanished in the air, started to lock himself in his room and hardly left for almost nine years. A few times he started at a new school but after only a few weeks or one or two months he stopped and went back to his room. So, no education, no diploma's, no experience in life (he literally had locked himself up so he didn't know how to take a bus or other pretty normal things in life).
    He educated himself behind his computer. His knowledge of English is far superior to boys who went to school (Americans think he is also American, so he is really good) He knows a lot about the economy, writing scenarios, philosophy, gaming (lol), and computers.
    This year he started to find a job, but with no diplomas, no life experience, no network, no friends.... it was not easy. And just as I told before, he is bi-cultural, an Arabic father. He looks very Arabic, is wearing an Arabic name, which is no help these days in Europe. It's not fair, but kids with Arabic names hardly get interviews when they try to find a job. The solution is to show up in person first, so he started to apply for the simplest jobs you can find: shops, The Burger King and so on. Nobody, not even The Burger King called him back (although they had promised). It was really, really hopeless ...
    Then, an old school friend gave him a strange advice... He said my son should apply for highly qualified jobs in the ICT area. So my son started to look around, saw a job in Czechia, applied for it, got the job. They never asked anything about diploma's, because he gets the training and certificates inside the company. It's a well known international company and if nothing goes wrong he is determined to climb his way up while they provide all the needed education and training in the field.
    This is not a story about becoming a millionaire (not his goal) but the story of a boy who had bad luck in spite of his hard work and a lot of other disadvantages. Suddenly it all changed the moment he changed course. The boy who had locked himself up against the world is now having a lot of friends, his own apartment, his job, a girlfriend, goes to parties and so on. (to be honest, we as the family were in shock about this transformation)

    I agree that a lot of coincidences are 'luck', but luck is not just luck. You've got to recognize it when it shows up and sometimes it is luck in disguise. I've earned good money in life and one day lost it all. It was awful and painful but looking back it was the best thing that could have happened to me and my family. Before I was working 7 days a week, and long, long hours. Then... nothing... no work, no money, but I found myself back and my family.
    Before, I couldn't even wait for 5 or 10 minutes for an appointment to take place. I was always busy, not wasting a single minute. Always stress and work and stress and so on. I didn't even go to funerals or weddings... no time.
    I had to let go the control and to discover quite the opposite: time, rest, hobby's... silence... I am so grateful we lost our enterprises... it was not bad luck after all...
    (I am almost sure I could have died of a heart attack because I already felt the warning signs in my body)

    So this is my personal background when I say: change course and luck will follow.
     
  17. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Construction and destruction are both always "there" in life. Sometimes the only way to find the other element is to shift perspective. To step sideways just a little, internally, and watch for the quality you've been missing so far.

    A manure pile is refuse, cast off, and seemingly worthless, but a gardener collects it and gives it time, knowing that spreading it around is a very practical way to distribute the nutrients necessary to grow a garden.

    A dark tunnel beneath the ground seems to be the last place worth spending a lifetime, yet thousands have poured their lives into digging just in case they encounter gold and gemstones. They know they will never encounter the chance if they don't take the risk in the first place. There is a joy in searching that they would miss out on if they stayed safely above ground.

    So maybe you were born into a mine. You can spend all your time frustrated that you're always in the dark, or you can dig in search of the treasure available down there or carve the walls into art. Maybe you were born with a manure pile. You can spend all your time hating the world for the scent of it or realize that you are practically bathing in the nutrients needed to create life for yourself.

    Or maybe you have seeds you never planted because you assumed they would all die, crushed under trampling feet or eaten by crows. But what if you plant them anyway, as carefully as you know how? What if you learn through trial and error where your seeds grow fastest and longest and become very good at finding the cracks and crevices amid the hardship of life where those roots can take hold and grow. Even if only one seed lives on it may give you enough return on that investment to shelter, feed you, and give you joy for the rest of your life. And if you eventually have to plant another, well, at least now you know what sorts of spaces work best for you.

    Nobody is arguing that others don't have it easier than you. (Though I am going to mention that you can't know what hardships they encounter most of the time. It might be far worse than you imagine. And remember, an experience that would be no problem for you might nearly destroy someone else.)

    Maybe you'll have to be more keen and focused to spot the opportunities that fit you. If you give up on it and just focus on the bitterness and lack, you're not going to build up the skills to notice and take opportunities. If you're not looking for it and practicing the ability to catch them, an incredible opportunity could drop into your hands yet you might not even see it. In fact, if you're not on the right bandwidth you might even assume it's a painful attack instead of something you could have caught and used.

    Just like you have to learn how to catch a ball by keeping your eye on it, or understand chess by practicing the moves again and again, you have to learn how to succeed by keeping your eye on it and practicing the moves until you get them right.

    You have the ability to learn. You have the ability to focus. You have the ability to experiment and keep on trying.

    You don't have to give in and decide it's fate and you've lost. Just change your game and try new moves until you find the one that gives you options and opportunities, even small ones. The smallest shift toward something better can move you to a place where more opportunities will come within reach. Grow into them by appreciating whatever you have right now and getting whatever good out of it that you can.

    Yes, your odds are terrible, but if you look around I think you'll find that it's not impossible to overcome them ... just a lot of grit, determination, and developing the skill to notice and catch opportunity then to act on it immediately whenever you have the chance. Be the protagonist that would inspire you if you were reading about it later, and leave a meaningful path behind so you can celebrate whatever progress you make in the end. The perspective you choose becomes part of you, so choose wisely.

    You're not merely a gambler losing a game against cruel fate, but a participant in the process of living who has the ability change up the game and shift the odds in your favor. You can keep collecting and wallowing in failure and focus on what you don't have, or you can think like a miner or a gardener and make use of your situation in a way that leads to future benefits.

    I created and chose many of the privileges I now have, and I can see more opportunities to create meaning and growth for myself within reach. If I hadn't taken charge of myself I wouldn't be where I am now. I'd either be dead or stuck in a fog of depression and hopelessness, and I was stuck there for most of my life, so I understand it can take a very long time to break free.

    The light you're searching for isn't outside or given to you by others. Your parents can't give it to you or take it from you. It's eternally yours, inside you alone. Others can help you identify it sometimes, but if you never look for it or choose to believe it's impossible to have/find you'll miss it and stay lost in the dark.

    You already have what you need to start, but you have to find it, appreciate it, and invest it.

    I can't fix your life or hand you a different history to start with. Nobody can.

    Even though it feels impossible. Even though it hurts. Even though it's extremely unfair. Even though you feel weak. You get to choose how to use whatever you have. Even the negative experiences can be useful if handled wisely. Your past is there for you to mine. Your present is here each moment to choose.

    Only you can decide whether you're going to make meaning of your life against all odds in each moment.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017

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