I have a big problem.

Discussion in 'Parapsychology' started by Jim78, Mar 22, 2020.

  1. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi Li-La.

    I've tried praying, sacraments, church ( before the isolation ), holy water, stones, everything. I even checked myself in to hospital so I wouldn't be alone with it. There was no medical solution to the supernatural surprisingly enough.

    I've spent a lot of money on Shamanic rituals and that seems to bind him but as soon as doubt crosses my mind he begins attacking again. Slowly in an attempt to enhance and feed off of my fear. I can't afford another Shamanic ritual for two weeks and who knows if the country will be in total lockdown then.

    I just really need support and the only way to get it now is online. My family don't understand and considering three of them are immune compromised and the rest are smokers we are all at risk from this virus. They have their own problems.

    I can feel him pulling on my neck and at times he makes his physical presence known....moving behind me. Meanwhile he gives me feelings of brain hemorrhages and heart and lung pains among other things. He's a prick really. Doesn't know how to live and let live. I hope I get positive replies because I need them.

    Thanks.
     
  2. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Jim, I don't know much about such things, but one thing I wonder is if you're kind of feeding his evil intentions by concentrating too much on him? Giving him too much of your time? Would it be possible to embark on some new project that will take your focus on to something different? I'm sure it must be very difficult for you, dealing with so much, and I'm sorry you have to go through it when Covid alone is making life quite difficult enough for us. My personal strategy against the difficulties of isolation is to find one thing (at least) during the day which gives me some sense of usefulness or achievement. I give it all my attention at the time, and that seems to lift my spirits. I've taken up a new hobby as well. But I can appreciate that your difficulties are far worse than mine, so you'd find it hard to focus on good things. All I can say is that people here are sending good wishes and prayers for all in trouble. Take good care of yourself, meanwhile.
     
  3. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Thanks Tanker.

    I do things to distract me and he had left me mostly alone since the Shamanic ritual last week but as soon as I had PTSD flashbacks to the last time he showed up he sticks his claws into me again. Right now he's dragging on and putting pressure in my brain.

    I am binge watching The A Team ( haven't seen it since I was a kid, it looks so old now ) and watching movies and cleaning and browsing science fiction forums and political discussions and such but it goes beyond a case of merely sensing a presence. He hurts me and tries to intimidate me. He hasn't made me lose faith in God but he has been wearing me down since the start of January.

    Now he's sending tingles up the lower part of my body. I'm writing my fears and doubts down so the Shaman can do a ritual with them but it seems I only need to have one negative thought and he is attacking me again.
     
  4. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    The forums you are browsing, are there people asking questions you can answer? Aka, there is a problem that needs you to concentrate on and the solution actually will help someone else? If not, then maybe go and seek a forum or community based on a topic you are an expert on. Keeping your brain busy and helping others at the same time might not make the devil go away and leave you be, but it can't harm either.
     
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  5. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi Seeker. I am doing that and I was discussing food distribution with my sister this morning but the crap thing is that this entity can take every debate and discussion I have and use them to shine a light on negative aspects of my personality.

    I discuss food distribution it links back to my economic model which stemmed from my time as Finance Minister in my immediate past life for instance. Debate is even worse because it shines a light on my strategising over the millenia and so on. He seems to be able to take innocent little things and warp them into negativity that are then illuminated in my mind. I don't need to mention all the gunfire in the A Team ( although I repelled that because no one ever got hurt in that show ).
     
  6. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    Aren't there web pages where you can start your own, free blog?
    You could start one where you explain complex science, math and other topics (maybe not reincarnation or politics, as that will bring back negative thought) in such a way that even a five-year-old would understand. That should distract you and surely will help others.
    As you are Catholic, is there a way to contact a local pastor via email? Not to talk with him about the Devil, but to help him organize online praying, window/balcony singing/praying and indoor ways to praise God and KEEP OTHER PEOPLE'S SPIRITS HIGH? Could you write a prayer about thankfulness and spread it via mail? Things like that. With a focus on positive things and helping others to think positive. Some psychologists and followers of other religions suggest that, too, sometimes: when you are down, try to focus on ANYTHING you can be grateful for, and be it small. That, and try to help someone else who maybe be in an even worse situation.

    I really hope you will get through this somehow.

    Also, thank you for distracting me from my own worries and issues.
     
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  7. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    There was almost two months of advanced warning that this was on the way and loads of people brushed it off as just being the flu or a MSM scare just to boost ratings only to panic at the last second stripping the shelves bare. This is why having some level of awareness and preparation is so essential if not for oneself but for family at the least. Optimism or normalcy bias is just as dangerous as those who sink into immediate fear and panic as it shifts the burden onto others in times of crises.

    As for the dark passenger have you considered shadow work as in integrating this aspect of self? It is almost never done in Christian and new age circles because frankly it scares people when they look into the darkness within themselves as well other aspects they've deemed not sociable. On a personal note I understand what you are going through reaching out for help only to get the superficial or nothing at all.
     
  8. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    I’m no expert, Jim, but when I’m having real trouble and need relief with PTSD etc. sometimes a chemical substance is the only thing that works. I tried coming off anti depressants and it didn’t work for me and I couldn’t function right now, so am on a very low dose just to function day to day. Perhaps this doesn’t need a spiritual solution but a chemical one—or a combo of the two. Not sure if that’s what you’re doing already but that was my thought.
     
  9. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi all.

    I havent kept up to date on science since remembering reincarnation Seeker. I also don't have any pastors emails. Also Catholicism hasn't worked to purge this thing because, as a reincarnationist, I am not fully invested in their belief systems. I've found Shamanism helps but as soon as I remember that thing whether through flashback or doubts or whatever it attacks.

    As for keeping others spirits high that is what I am doing. Giving advice to my family and friends on protecting themselves and such. Offering positive words but you have to understand when I feel pleased with a distraction this entity attacks my brain or other organ. It may not be physical but it feels physical.

    Sometimes the air goes cold too and I can feel it moving behind me. This thing doesn't want me to be positive or relaxed.

    Although saying that I will try to browse the internet in an attempt to give to others.

    This isn't a shadow aspect of myself TABA. This is the devil. One positive thing to come out of it is that I realised in January that the root of my PTSD was based on a lie so the intrusive thoughts and flashbacks have lessened. There's still enough of them for him to use against me though.

    I'm taking medication Landsend. Been taking them since this thing started. I might as well be swallowing Smarties for all the good they do me. Like The Verve said "The drugs don't work".
     
  10. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    That’s tough Jim. Have you tried conversing with this dark energy ? See what it says and what it wants with you ? It’s feeding off you for a reason.

    Also I know a shaman who does long distance healing if that’s an option for you. He does it via Skype / telephone.
     
  11. Li-la

    Li-la Senior Member

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    Hi Jim, I've now read all your replies and the rest on this thread. I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you. I hope my answer won't seem too crazy to you, but I understand you if it does seem this way too. I cross my fingers that the moderators will not delete it because I will now move on thin ice, but I hope they understand I do this and speak only of my own experience in this, and my hope is to help you.

    There is something there that I recognize in your story. When you wrote it returned when you had a PTSD flashback, from your previous past life.

    What I am looking for right now is try to sniff his channel, how does he get in, mine got stronger and got in through my meditation, through some really terrible experiences with a past life husband. "He" came through him in my meditative state. Please consider the crazy possibility that what ever it/who it is, it is not just YOUR memories that you have alone because someone/something else can peek in. Someone else can take advantage when you are in that state. I know this can happen because I have accidentally stepped into someone else's memory . I did not think I could do that. When I realized I did this I went paralyzed and zoomed out as quick as I could. I did not move anything or know if I could move anything. They did not see me. Consider someone with the capacity of not making a difference between right or wrong in trespassing like I did, someone with the capacity of jumping into perhaps a body of memory, I think this could be done if it is a memory, that is the spirit of the body has moved on and someone is re-living the memory. (I know I am so sorry I sound so crazy right now, please don't stop reading).

    I had one experience where I was Laura and I think I had had a fight prior with my husband, who was drinking. I went to bed. He awoken me by starting to use a belt to hit me with, I covered my face and swirl around in the bed, when he was done he came on top of me and as he pulled up my nightgown I could feel his hand on my upper thigh, his hand, his thumb on the inside of the thigh, Laura was sobbing and being terrified at the time and did not want to look at him so this was why she stared at his hand, forcing her leg to separate, staring at this thumb instead. When I tore out of it which I did then and there I tell you, I had a circular burning mark the exact place where he had put his thumb on Laura's body, a strange looking kind of bruise that would not shift and heal like normal one does. All I know is that Laura's own husband, as mean as he got in his final day, could not create a burning blue mark like that and for it to manifest on my body when I woke up. It is not one that is easy to get otherwise either, if one is about to get bruises it is on the outside that can hit against furniture's and what else of possibilities there is. I am so sorry I write of this disgusting scene but I feel otherwise it may be difficult to know what it is what I mean.

    I had to helplessly watch both my husband and young daughter "get bitten" by the terrible atmosphere I had then had around me for hours one time. I knew it was HIM doing this. That actually helped. I knew it wasn't me. It was from the outside. Him. But it can be poking so much that one breaths it in and think it comes from one self. I could feel his aggressive, sick emotions.

    Then as I realized more and more he was getting to them because of their unexplained bad mood, the most unreal thing happened. I would "hear" his words in my head, what he said, it was a sentence of insult, words not used in my home, and not by my own mouth. My daughter seemed relaxed at the time, painting, sitting by our kitchen table, when she suddenly uttered the same words. From nowhere. She had not been talking to anyone. I knew it wasn't her, so I was not about to punish her for those words. I remember she just looked up to me, with stone eyes, to say it. Just as it would get at most intense and I would try to stay neutralized it would go away. I don't think he possessed my daughter, but I think she was relaxed and painting, and so he found his way in, temporarily because she was in a woken but a meditative state. I would not give him the sanctification of yelling or punishing my daughter because that would only make him perhaps try to do this again through her. I remember I felt ice cold. I still continued to talk to her in a loving way, as if I had never heard what she had said. I refused to give him negative energy that he would enjoy.

    So my advice here is that you have to figure out if it is you who own these emotions that suddenly come or go stronger and stronger or if it is HIM doing it, if so you can still breath it in (what choice do one have, right?) but you have to mentally put up a wall where just you knowing this isn't me, it's not my emotions, will help you, it will also rile him up perhaps but very often when I have dealt with such things they can get stronger and stronger BUT when they get at their strongest they suddenly vanish.

    Even if you don't think it might help I would still keep praying, just pray in your own mind, the thing does not need to know what you are doing, that you are praying. I would pray in my mind and set a time and date to when I needed extra help, protection, in advance, like a week before, I kept saying that in the pray, and when that date and time came something happened, almost like invisible walls around me and I felt safe.

    I would get sick a lot, and I would feel drained. This because I was too open and he had found his way in perhaps. I have seen on one program a girl who had anorexia and she would get physically weakened by this, of course. During night when she was at her most tired, slipping into the meditative state, she would see a being not from this world come into her bedroom and sit right on top of her, pressuring her heart and lungs. I think it is a way to show off power. When she got cured from her anorexia, better physical health, this stopped.

    So please eat well, sleep well, separate what comes from you and what comes from the outside as far as negative emotions, don't meditate, and keep praying - I suppose that summons up my advice. You will get stronger with time, and the thing will go away. I hope all the best for you with this problem, you can do it :)

    Best Wishes

    Li La
     
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  12. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Jim, this might sound extreme and forgive me if I'm ignorant of this subject ... but have you approached a priest for exorcism? It seems maybe a last resort if all else fails?

    But good for you, still managing to help others despite all this. You're making a positive step there, and I hope it helps to know you're making a difference to others. I'm sure they appreciate it.
     
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  13. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    You could try smudging yourself with sage and lining the doors and windows around you with salt.
     
  14. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi all.

    I've conversed with it Landsend. Its a liar, to the point of ridiculousness. So ridiculous I almost lost respect for what it was, cloven hoofs, animal legs etc. Its true form is frightening but its lies sometimes are so ridiculous they seem almost a joke. I figure that's its way of getting me to underestimate it.

    It wants my immortal soul. I felt it trying to drag it out of me for an entire day once. Since then its been using only what I can describe as guerilla warfare tactics, hitting my weak spots and using my militaristic mind against me. It has an advantage because it knows my every thought and emotion and I can't trust a thing I've learned about it because I can't sense its thoughts and its a liar. Poetic justice perhaps.

    I'm seeing a shaman already and it helps but the entity still finds ways to attack me.

    Hi Li-La. My PTSD flashback the other day wasn't from my previous life, it was from six years ago when this entity had me in a metal collar and leash petting me. As soon as I envision that in my mind it finds a way to attack.

    This entity knows my every thought memory and emotion from every life. It knows more about my past than I know. It even retrieved long forgotten childhood memories from me ( dunno why ).

    I do pray in my mind and on my knees in my flat. This entity knows all of this. It almost mocks it. Saying God isn't omniscience, God seeks revenge and such. It even tried to convince me it was God so I immediately knew it was the fallen one.

    Luckily the entity doesn't seem to be here for anyone else just me. It returned after I drunkenly talked about my old love online and disguised itself as her soulmate connection. None of this ever came from God, it came from the entity ( even though it tries to convince me otherwise ).

    It throws me off guard though. It doesn't attack me when it seems to be the ideal opportunity and then attacks me just to prove it can. All its behaviour indicates that it is feeding off of me. When it is bound its bonds are broken by my doubts and fears then it leads my mind in a circular pattern in which there is much for it to gain strength from. Yet my mind is a labyrinth, I trust nothing. I think "What if that is what it wants me to think?!"

    My friend says this thing doesn't think, it just feeds and reacts. If that's true it may have no plan but it does have a goal. To destroy my link to the Almighty and take my soul.

    I do have a wall up but, as I said, this thing causes me physical pain. When I doubt it has its opening to attack.

    Thanks for your kind words Li-La.

    I have approached many Priests Tanker. They said no one in Ireland does exorcisms. Besides, my Shaman said that because my reincarnation beliefs don't fit into Catholicism it won't work. I've been to many masses and took sacraments and this entity never left me ( although it did seem less powerful but what if its just pretending? ).

    Hi Klaud. I did such things with the Shaman. The problem is that nearly six years ago when I felt guilty about not helping a spirit cross over I accidentally invited this thing in so the Shaman said it will be harder to get rid of.
     
  15. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    I'll be honest I never had much favor for Catholicism even when I was still a child so my advice is try to find someone online from elsewhere.
     
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  16. Li-la

    Li-la Senior Member

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    Hi Jim
    I think why it knows so much in your past and present is because I see things a little different than some do about time. Instead of seeing this time with earth eyes I see it as the sticks, each stick being a life, is not in time-line, it instead stands beside each other. It may be able to do what I did once jumping in to watch your moments in your past. When i did I could understand the two people I saw, feel their emotions. A part of me wonders if I was invited in, by either of the two or by both, but I don't know. It may see it as if all the lives, without time, is happening all at once, which make it more easier for it to see it all, thereby a prediction is not honestly a prediction, it is happening simultaneously so it isn't hard to see as everything, every stick, is happening in another time space where there is no time, at the same time. I am sorry I sound so very crazy. I know I do.

    When you had your PTSD moment in this life, did it happen when you were in a meditative state? Do you have the gift to see other spirits and so on? When you speak of his different looks - where do you see it, with your inner/third eye or with earthy eyes?

    You explain you got this thing when trying to help another spirit to cross over. This of course make me think you are sensitive enough to see or tell if a spirit is around. So please understand me the right way, your walls may be up but they have to get stronger.

    You have to stop feeling quilt if you can. It makes you step on yourself and make you weaker, and this is a way for it to come closer.

    I would not communicate with it again.

    Also consider that it focus on you because it gets a "love"/hate kind of drawing to you.

    For me it was what my friend said a male energy who was possessive of me and he did not like her. She wanted out of the house. She would see him circulate around me as a quick black shadow.

    Both my daughter and I and even others has remarked on seeing and feeling this being, and it was "after" 2, me mostly, but also my daughter. It did not touch my husband. My husband has very strong walls, because of it I think they do not show interest in them, they can't feed of them the same way,they can't communicate etc.

    I did not think I could get less open, I thought I was powerless, but if I can do it so can you. Please, excuse me nagging...

    Best Wishes

    Li La
     
  17. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi Li-La.

    You don't sound crazy. My pl memories come as visions which are preceded by a tunneling effect which I theorise to be an Einstein Rosen Bridge. That means I am seeing the actual past playing out in real time thus the past is present. I also believe that the other side exists outside time therefore from spirits perspective all of history is current.

    I also believe that there is a reason we experience time linearly in a mortal body on this side of the veil. As immortal spirits who can experience all points in space time at will we can't get the range of experience we can get in a finite body in three dimensions.

    I believe there is a Divine purpose to all of this.

    No. My PTSD experiences just happen when I'm triggered. I don't meditate as I don't find it calms my mind but focuses it on my lack of mastery over my thoughts and my flashbacks. I feel worse when I meditate.

    I hadn't sensed a spirit in years until the fallen showed up at the start of January. He says he is doing Gods work but from what I see he is about tricking, manipulating and lying, things which aren't the modus operandi of the God of divinity and enlightenment. I must remain strong in spite of my human frailties.

    I have mostly stopped feeling guilt because this time around the entity showed himself to be the trickster and liar he is. I know that God has already forgiven me.

    I try to ignore the entity as much as is humanly possible.

    Its drawn to me because I am trying to walk Gods path and it is trying to divert me. It came to me nearly six years ago to traumatise me, to break me as I was strong yet as the months go by since it came back my strength is being replenished even as I falter.

    Yesterday it attacked my nasal passage, my heart, my lungs and my liver. I can't figure out why it would do that since I am an overweight heavy smoker and at risk from the coronavirus.

    Lol your not nagging luv. Your helping and that's a good thing. I'm not sure my situation is completely comparable to the experiences you describe however. I was strong in the way your husband is six years ago. It had to break me and wait to attack.
     
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  18. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jim,

    I don't think it is a question of whether an exorcism would help, but whether a Catholic priest would do one if he didn't think you were Catholic. I don't know myself. However, the powers called on in an exorcism are certainly powerful enough to do the job. But, the process also requires your faith in those powers as well. There are some good Youtube videos available from Catholic exorcists in the U.S. discussing the process. (This is where I have gotten most of my information). It is not a one-shot most of the time, but a drawn out process for most. This is not really a surprise, both because those going to an exorcist are in pretty bad shape in terms of oppression when they get there, and because the process also seems to require an amendment of life as well (which can take time). So, it has some analogies to medical treatment--but for healing the spirit rather than the body.

    In the meantime, have you read the "Way of a Pilgrim"? It comes out of the Russian Orthodox tradition and focuses on the "Jesus Prayer" and "Prayer of the Heart". The ideas involved are based in part on the Bible injunction to pray constantly or continuously. I think its practice could help to make you less susceptible to attack and to discourage attack by keeping your mind focused on something good and powerful. Like dieting and exercise it may take a while to do everything it can do, but it has been used by a great many people over the centuries. It is standard practice in the Orthodox tradition. It can become a very deep form of meditation with the prayer as a "mantra". However, it can also be used on a more "surface" level of the mind to keep it occupied and advancing towards the good. BTW--mantra (though old terminology in India) is modern terminology in the West. In Western spiritual tradition this is known as monologistic prayer. In any case, it doesn't hurt to try.

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--there are many books out there about the Jesus Prayer and Prayer of the Heart, but you don't need to read them to get started. Just start! Then if you get a chance, start with Way of a Pilgrim as it is a good background introduction.

    PPS--BTW, I am not RC or EO, but do greatly respect their spiritual traditions.
     
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  19. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi S&S.

    I'm doing Shamanic rituals with a Shaman and this does seem to bind the entity but the damage he did to my psyche nearly six years ago gives him lines of attack. I think Shamanism is more fitting for my spiritual beliefs than Catholicism.

    I will continue with that 'treatment' as it has produced results but as the Shaman said it will take time.

    I got an anointing from a Catholic Priest a couple of months ago but after he was blessing me he said "Satan rarely comes to people. Trust your Priest and seek a Doctor."

    Another Priest I attended asked if I was diagnosed with a psychiatric illness. The way I figure it is if men of God don't fully believe in my experiences they aren't fully invested in their prayers and sacraments therefore it will not work.

    One Priest did believe me however and that gave me the power to repel the entities attacks...but the entity has started on my organs now. He's upped the ante. He's an interloper, a stalker. He has no business with me. My business is with God.

    I also pray and repeat in my head "As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil for God is with me."

    A religious and medical solution didn't present themselves so now I'm trying a spiritual solution but I don't know if I can continue with it if this country goes on full lockdown. I may be fending off this entities attacks for many more months to come.
     
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  20. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    I have to say it the church of today is a joke and that is being nice as I am so horrendously jaded especially towards the self serving and superficial that only serves as a veneer of faith ultimately existing for only profit and reputation. It used to be where there was help even if it wasn't enough it was still an honest effort but those days are gone. This sounds silly especially to the logical thinkers and the "religious" but try to visualize light on the inside and around like a bubble like a gold light or a white light.
     
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