I need help, please...night terrors/nightmares/paranoia

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Nightmares17, May 11, 2014.

  1. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    It started when I was 4 years old, out of the blue. Nothing significant happened to trigger it. I would have the same clip of a dream over and over. I would be standing on a platform with other people, looking down under the train, where the dead man was. The same scene, played over and over for a total of 10 seconds. It didnt make any sense at the time and I did not have a fear of trains. As the years went on, I developed more and more fear of trains. I started to have nightmares every month. Trains driving too fast, people being hit by a train, children stuck on the tracks and a train coming, trains chasing me and others, trains crashing. My nightmares only consist of trains and being hit by them. I have these nightmares about once or twice a month and they always leave me extremely upset where I have to get up, wake up my husband or panic. I also will not get any closer to the RR crossing gates than 150ft when a train passes, just incase it wrecks, comes off the tracks and falls on me. I know this is crazy, it is very frightening. I will wake up to the faint sound every night to the train whistle 2 1/2 miles in town and it will upset me. I am in my mid 30s now and this has been going on and getting worse for over 30 years. I dont have nightmares of anything else really...but trains. It is also embarrassing because in my 20s, I would share these dreams with friends and family...who realised they were pretty sick dreams and would often tell me there was something wrong. Im very distressed again, last night I had another dream. The train I was on, was going way to fast and the whole night I could barely hold on. It was going so fast that it felt I was being intentionally thrown off and I couldnt hold on any longer. Other times when these dreams arent actually nightmares, I will have calm dreams, but again, about trains. These times, I get on the train and it keeps going in circles and I watch myself sleep on the train...always afraid its going to wreck, but instead I watch the train drive in circles as I sleep. I have no memories or anything about trains. Nothing has ever happened to me to cause these fears...but this I learned two years ago.....

    My dad was raised by a single mother. His father left when he was a kid. My dad is not one to talk about his life. He said they were poor and he had to help with the younger kids because his dad wasnt there to support the family. I asked him if grandma's family ever helped raise them...he said no, because her mother died of a heart attack when he was a kid....and her father took the passenger train to work. He was running late for work and the train had already began taking off....he tried to jump on, but lost his grip and fell. He was run over by the train and killed. This happened before my father was born, while my grandmother was pregnant in the early 1950's in Chicago. This really upset me....it was the first time I had ever heard this and also the first time I had ever heard about my great grandparents. Since they had both died either before my dad was born or when he was small, my dad didnt have any stories to share about them. It also struck me as odd, how my great grandfather died....since I have been having these night terrors for over 30 years that do not make sense. It is very upsetting. I can't help but feel there is some kind of connection and I have tried to reach out for help....but nobody can help me. I have even had some people tell me my great grandfather is haunting me...I dont believe because he is not in my dreams. It is me experiencing this trauma. I dont know how to deal with this fear/paranoid/night terrors. Keep in mind, I only found out about my great grandfather two years ago....and its only gotten worse. please help
     
  2. Rocky Rose

    Rocky Rose Member

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    I don't know how much I can help, but- do you believe it could be possible that in a past life, "you" died in a really similar way to your great grandfather and the dreams are some attempt to cope? I'm pretty new here so idk how much I helped if any..
     
  3. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    I dont know, I have no recollection. The only thing I can remember is, when I was small...about the time the dreams started as a toddler, I use to have small clips or dreams of the city around the tracks. Like one was where I was walking along the tracks and there were buildings around, it was mid morning and I was looking at the drawings on some of them. Thats the only other thing I can relate to these terrors. I have no past life recollections of this time at all. I dont even have a past life memory of being hit by a train, falling or anything. I only have the repeated scene over and over of being on the platform and watching the man dead. I didnt even see what happened in the dream, only afterwards. Im not sure what this is, a past life memory or cell memory...which wouldnt make sense because my grandma was already pregnant with my dad before my great grandfather died. So that memory wouldnt have been passed down.
     
  4. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Senior Registered

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    Hmm ... I'm no expert on nightmares, but one thing that has helped me with the things I fear the most is to face them head on and accept them for what they are.


    I turn the thought of it from "a fearful thing I avoid" into "something terrible that I accept." It doesn't really change the thing itself, just the way I think about it. Like turning to embrace a monster that is chasing you in a dream just to see if it's not that horrible, or just stopping that activity you're afraid you must do "or else" even though you hate it so much it makes you ill.


    Often, demystifying the fear and accepting the worst of it actually releases your mind from the panic response and you can find a healthier approach to the subject.


    Another approach:


    1. Okay, so the train in your dream is deadly. You've experienced this for 30 years already and you know. Try claiming the emotion as a normal response to such a situation ahead of time ... before you sleep, perhaps. Anyone would feel horrified at that scene.


    2. Now define you, in this present moment, apart that scenario. "That person isn't me, now." And start telling yourself, calmly, next time I will help the shocked person standing next to the train wreck. Because if you were nearby and you saw someone go through what you've been going through for all these years, you'd go comfort them. Right?


    3. Now there are two of you in your mind. The one who is afraid, horrified, trapped in the dream ... and the part of you that feels compassion and knows how to comfort and encourage someone who is in shock and pain. Ask the calm part of you to come into the dream and help the part of you that can't break the cycle. (Give a hug. Help her see the soul of the fallen man step out of the body and follow the light. Explain that this is just a dream-memory and not something she has to suffer again.) I'm sure this wise and kind part of you knows exactly how to help.


    This might take some time to develop into a strong enough defense against such a powerful dream. I maintain the objective observer and the loving comforter parts of myself to help with things that take over my emotions, both in dreams and daily life. It is amazing how much it helps to keep additional perspectives in mind. Maybe it will help you, too?
     
  5. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    Hi Nightmares17


    Welcome to the forum.


    That sounds pretty unpleasant for you!


    One thing I might suggest is that it's possible the original snippet of a dream that you had since childhood, of a man being killed under a train, could be a past life memory. Past life memories often express themselves via recurring dreams. It could be that this frightening dream has then 'grown' into a full blown phobia of trains.


    It's possible (who knows?) that this is a memory of just a random person killed by a train that you witnessed in a previous life. Or it might, in fact, be your great grandfather. People do tend to incarnate back in the same families a lot. Either way, it was no doubt a frightening and upsetting experience and the result would be the same - an unresolved fear of trains that has only got worse over the years.


    Since this is so severe and is causing you a lot of distress, I would suggest a professional past life regression to get to the bottom of the original memory and to resolve the trauma properly. It's important to find a proper regressionist to work with. There is some information here about dong that: Where to find a hypnotherapist


    If that's too expensive, or there isn't anyone near you, you may have to try some other methods to release this fear. There is a book and CD by past life expert Roger Woolger called 'Healing your past lives'. Others have had success with this. You can get these sorts of things easily enough via Amazon.com and the like.


    Using Roger Woolger's book and CD


    There are also some good threads on dealing with past life traumas, that you could start by looking through in the meantime. If nothing else, this will show you that you are not alone.


    Healing past life fears and phobias


    Mending the past and healing the future


    Memories and healing



    Best wishes with it and I hope you'll be feeling better soon.
     
  6. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Yes, it's possible you are your own grandfather reincarnated. Same family reincarnation has turned out to to be more common than anyone thought. Carol Bowman has written a book about it called "Return From Heaven". have you tried doing a regression yet? That may help. You can do a self-regression using CD's, YouTube videos, etc.
     
  7. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    I think you all have some good advice. Im going to try to become more conscious during these night terrors to see if I can try to take back some control. These dream are totally random each month, I could be having a perfectly normal night and they will just creep up out of nowhere and have me upset the whole day. I woke up this morning crying, telling my husband about the nightmare again...I have tried past life regressions on youtube, but nothing comes up for this particular PL or anything even close. I will get little bits of other places and times, but never for anything related to the trains. Infact, I dont really even think about trains unless I have to cross the railroad track, or wake up to the whistle in town...then the panic sets in again. I do notice that I shy away and become so overwhelmed by these dreams and seeing a train up close, that I feel helpless and overwhelmed with emotions out of nowhere. I have never really dealt with it properly, I think. Its one of those things, the sooner its over, the better. I have tried to share, but people think its just a phobia and brush it off. Im afraid to tell my dad of course, it might upset him. My husband just hugs me and tells me it was a bad dream and to forget it. My friends just ask why I have this horrible nightmares about trains back in my 20s when I use to share these dreams, but not anymore...and of course back then I didnt know what had happened to my grandpa so I couldnt have told them or even knew myself where they might be coming from. I think I am going to give the regression another try, this time concentrating my phobia...Im just afraid that maybe I am too afraid subconsciously and that is why it has not came up before on the regressions I have done. I know that I dont want to keep going on like this and carry over this phobia for 30 more years or God forbid, another life...lol. I dont live by the city, I live in the country and there are no PL regressionists here, however there is a college that offers a class here once a year for a month. So that might be another alternative. Thank you all for your advice, it was helpful and I realize that I need to probably face it head on, the sooner the better.
     
  8. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    That makes more sense to me now...for many years I didnt have any clue as to why I had these night terrors and fears. Like I said, it was two years ago that my dad told me about my great grandfather being killed this way...which you can imagine the look on my face as all the blood drained from my head to my toes hearing this. I was shocked and in disbelief...to say the least. He died over 60 years ago, 30 years before I was born...so it wasnt something that was ever discussed before.
     
  9. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    Oh and thank you all for your help and you Tanguerra...for all the resources.
     
  10. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    I wouldn't expect you to have a lot of success with self-regression with such a powerful fear Nightmares, certainly not at first. It takes quite a bit of practice to get good at it.


    I strongly suggest that you seek out a professional hypnotherapist if you can. I think it would be worth the trouble and expense if this is so disturbing for you. Maybe you could make some enquiries with the college and get in touch with the person who offers the course?


    In the meantime, yes, trying to take a bit more control over your dreams, as Mere Dreamer has suggested, is probably a good thing to do too.
     
  11. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    Yeah, you are probably right. I wouldnt know how to guide myself out of my fear in the regression, obviously...thats why Im here:) I was just thinking of something funny and ironic. When my son was a toddler and in preschool, he was bananas about trains. Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends. We changed his curtains, bedding, toys and pictures to Thomas. His teacher noticed how much he and another lil boy loved trains, and so she set up an Amtrack train ride from one town to another for the preschoolers and the parents had to accompany the kids. So I was so crazy standing there with both of my kids by the arms not letting get anywhere near the tracks...finally we got on the train and I was okay after a few minutes. At first, a lot of things ran through my mind, but once we almost reached the next town and everything went well, I was alright. I mean, it wasnt as fun for me as it was for the boys, but I made it without a panic attack. I thought this would help me get passed my phobia, but sadly, it didnt. That was 10 years ago.
     
  12. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    It's a possibility that this has something to do with your great grandfather, but it's unknown at this time. I imagine you would have been shocked to learn about this, given your phobia, in any case.


    In the dream, you say you are a spectator of the accident, rather than the victim? Do you get any sense of what era this might all have been? Do you get any sense of whether you were an adult or a child? The angle of your view may be a hint there for instance.


    If it's not too upsetting, it might be worth doing a bit of analysis like this of the dream while you're awake. It might take some of the 'spooky' out of it. It might help to be more 'matter of fact' about it when awake and you have control over your thoughts more. You could practice a thought exercise as suggested by Mere Dreamer and see if you can self-soothe.
     
  13. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Very interesting.


    The fact that riding on a train doesn't bother you indicates that is not what killed you. You were killed by the train itself. Maybe hit while crossing the tracks, either on foot, in a car, or horse carriage? Maybe fell off the platform while waiting for a train? Do you know what the train looked like in your dreams? Steam engine or diesel? Electric? Have you searched on google images to see if you can find anything that looks like it? It could have happened anytime between 1850 - 1950's or later.
     
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  14. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    The problem is, the dreams about being on the platform and seeing the man under the train...were my first experience with these dreams at age 4. The dreams didnt become nightmares or night terrors until I got older. I developed the actual phobia in my late teens or early 20s. I had dreams about trains on and off as a kid, but I would brush them off as a bad dream, too....but they became worse and worst as an adult...and its not the same clip I seen as a toddler...its nightmares now, that have nothing to do with the original dream...scenarios that are dangerous and life threatening that have no basis for reality or meaning. From what I can remember of the original dream clips was the era was probably around the 50s, just by the clothing the people around me are wearing and the buildings, atmosphere of the dreams. I do not see myself in the dream, I am only aware of my thoughts and what I am thinking is...what has happened and Im looking down with others trying to see what has happened. I just remember the original dream of standing there, looking at everyone else...they are looking down and so I look down and I see there is a man under the train. I was not aware of anything happening until I saw everyone else, then I looked and saw. I do not remember them being aware that I was there at all.
     
  15. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    There may not even be a connection between the childhood dream and the other nightmares you had later. It's possible of course that all this is to do with past live traumas, but it's hard to say for sure. Again, given the strength of this phobia / anxiety I strongly suggest a professional to help you.
     
  16. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    My instincts tell me, now that you have actually brought up a few questions....that if that were me, and I was my grandpa...that he was not aware that he had been killed. It happened too fast, because the only memory I have is the next...up on the platform and being confused...wondering what everyone was looking at...and then taking a look and seeing the man under the train.
     
  17. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    So actually, now I am thinking...it wouldnt have been the actual experience I dreamed about, but after his soul had left his body and realized there had been an accident...this feels more accurate to me on the original dreams. When he first became aware that he was dead perhaps....
     
  18. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    This scene from the movie Ghost, comes up as Im writing this. When Patrick Swayze is killed and chases down the guy...only realizing he is dead when he comes back and sees his wife holding him on the ground. That is a more accurate description of what the dreams felt like as a toddler...not the actual death, but the realization that there is a death, possibly the soul or me, watching every elses reaction, then going there, looking down and seeing this for the first time.
     
  19. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    That's an interesting possibility Nightmares. You can trust your instincts about these things. If that's what feels right, it probably is. That could explain the fear of trains too! It's not unusual to develop a phobia about something that 'went wrong' previously.


    The treatment is to just release it. Remind yourself that you will be careful around trains, you have learned your lesson very well, but don't need to hold onto the anxiety any more.
     
  20. Nightmares17

    Nightmares17 New Member

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    I just have it in my head, that train is dangerous. Of course trains are dangerous! I never go around them, only one time for my son's field trip. They still give me nightmares and maybe my soul after the accident was bitter about the incident and blamed the train, instead of himself, for making a terrible mistake, and it costing him his life. The train was at fault, trains kill people...that must be why my night terrors/nightmares are always chasing me down or are wreckless/in control. I think you just helped me figure this out....the train is not at fault, it was his fault...he made a careless mistake. There has to be some self accountability...it was an accident, but it wasnt the trains fault....trains dont chase people down and try to kill them. Just like guns dont shoot people, people shoot people....I can imagine if ones life was cut short by a careless mistake...that they would be bitter/angry/hurt...and want to blame something other than themself...and I have to admit, in my dreams and the paranoid feelings I have about trains, I always see them as dangerous, but it has got worst over the years...I always said I hate trains, Im sure time has made it worse with it getting more and more dangerous in my dreams and then in waking life. I think my perception needs to change in order for me to heal from these dreams and fears I have.
     

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