I think I had another recall

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by KenJ, May 19, 2019.

  1. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    A few months ago, I had a vision/memory of myself in the 1800’s-early 1900's I think. I was standing in a doorway/opening leaning against it with my right shoulder while I was viewing from behind and seeing through the opening and the back and side of “me”. The casing was a dark wood and I had a black hat of some sort on my head. I was wearing a loose shirt and facing a young slender boy about seven or eight years old. I felt so proud of my son, and felt so much love for him. I also felt as though I was unsteady, something about my legs. The clothing and walls were in pastels. The ‘out-of-place' thing was the slender creased long trousers my son was wearing.

    The next image was myself from my right side with my son standing on my left while laying in bed in the same clothes where I realized that It wasn’t a cap/hat that was atop my head, it was hair, and my deep chest wasn’t from what I had thought when I saw the figure turn in the doorway – I was a woman:eek:! And that young lad is now my middle daughter. Those feelings of love for that young lad was very strong. It was mainly the feelings thyat were attached that seemed to make this something more than a dream.

    A few nights later a name popped into my head while falling asleep – Andrew Bisley/Beckley/Beesley, something like that with no other context.

    I found some pictures that seem to fit with what I experienced. My first thoughts were that the lad wore too modern-day trousers, but I found that slender-legged ones existed back then, but none were creased as I saw in that vision. The hair style was similar to this.
    Capture.JPG

    Edit: see this continuation post.
     
  2. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    Quite a pretty young lady!
     
  3. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Interesting, Ken. I guess this life was in England or the United States?
     
  4. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Ken,

    Welcome to a particular type of shock and awe--discovering a cross-gender PL! :eek: I entered this "special" realm in 2014, so much of the "novelty" (to put it euphemistically) has worn off at this point--making me an "old hand" :cool:. Here is my first post/thread:

    http://reincarnationforum.com/threads/memories-of-early-theosophists.5570/#post-85890

    I'm still trying to figure it all out. I made some headway in terms of "who", but that is about all. Some mysteries are there for me as well as for others who have a particular interest in people who knew Blavatsky and were part of getting Theosophy started in the U.S.:

    https://theosophy.wiki/en/Vera_Johnston

    A bigger mystery for me is why this particular PL came up (out of what I assume to be many). I have my suspicions, but no more memories, and not looking for any at the moment.

    Your memories would seem to put your PL in her 20s-30s (based on young child and very black hair) somewhere in the 1890s-1910 period. During that same period Vera Johnston (born 1864) would have been around as well. However, it is a large world, so there is no reason to believe that their paths ever crossed. Still it is always possible. I hope you remember more at some point. Have you researched the name? I am not sure whether it goes with the little boy or her husband, but it can be pretty difficult to find out much without more to go on.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
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  5. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Some clarifications may be in order. The hairstyle was more like side-buns than what I pictured, but the face seemed to fit (or I just liked it:)), thanks baro-san. And, of course the little boy was my current daughter here where I've known of this special bond for fifty-five years now - it hasn't helped the relationships with my other two daughters though and is beyond the point of repair if that is truly needed - more side-eyed folk at this time.

    My wife, who just received recognition from her church the day before for perfect attendance, is still giving me the usual side-eye like everyone else in my area and family except my one daughter who doesn't talk much about it!
     
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  6. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Ken,

    Wow! I didn't remember that other thread on your daughter existed. I know what I was tied up with one year ago (my daughter's illness), but I can't recall May of 2017. I can only think that I was taking one of my periodic sabbaticals from the board. Anyhow, great thread and wonderful having such a marvelous relationship with your daughter (plus it sounds like she is a truly wonderful person).

    I love your reference to the "side eye" :D Now I have a better word for it. I usually use a more cumbersome expression, but "side eye" catches it very well. I am, btw, also increasingly in that suspect status. Daddy's proclivities for "weird" and "unusual" subjects, plus increasing suspicion that "reincarnation" may be part of the mix become unavoidable in a close family. It mostly comes down to occasional ribbing by my children plus silent disapproval from my wife, but they sense that I am drifting from the old certainties--and think me to be a bit balmy as a result. It's not mean, but I have found myself increasingly in the position of Bilbo returning from his "unexpected journey". They still love me, but I am no longer quite as "respectable" in the eyes of Hobbiton. ;) Oh well. As you can tell, I usually take this with a grain of salt, but it does hurt sometimes.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
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  7. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Ken,

    I had a sudden thought. It may be incorrect, but I'm going to put it out there anyway. I think that "creased" trousers on your little boy had more to do with the love and pride you, as a mother, had for that little boy than anything else. There was no permanent press clothing back then. If trousers were creased it was because they were "pressed" at a cleaner or laboriously pressed with the primitive irons of the day by the woman of the house. It goes without saying that ironing was an extreme chore in the periods being discussed. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ironing). Why would anyone try to put or keep a crease in the soon to be rumpled trousers of a 7 year old bundle of energy and mischief? That doesn't sound like modern technology, that sounds like a very proud and loving mother around the turn of the 19th century.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
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  8. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I'm thankful that I've had this recent recall as it validates my many small experiences throughout my life, and makes closure much easier. Now if I can get all of the earthly crap set in order I'll feel a lot better!
    It has been a liberating experience for me! I'd love to share it with other people of importance to me, but I know it would do no good, they need to be ready to understand - and this area of the US is not a willing bunch of people in this respect.
     
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  9. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Ken,

    Having read about your second child, I certainly wish we had some type of accounts from her of her adventures in the astral, trips to heaven, etc. I'd settle for hearsay from you if you can summarize what she has told you on these matters. I also have to wonder how your wife fits these accounts from your daughter into her existing paradigm and how her sisters take this type of thing? The family's response to her adventures may be too private, but I'd sure like to hear more about her adventures myself.

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--There is not a "willing" area of the U.S. that I know of. Your fellow citizens tend to be pretty stuck in either their own view of spirituality or their own view of materialism. But there are sometimes "willing" people, and they can be found in almost every area.
     
  10. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    You summed it up in one of your posts - I'm just a crazy old man! I've mentioned it to my other daughters and gotten the same response.

    I need to add that I appreciate the other 'actors' in this lifetime performance.

    I think it is a shame that so many people transition before saying that!
     
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  11. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Correction: We're just crazy old men!:D Don't worry. We get the last laugh (for what it's worth). ;)
     
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  12. glia21

    glia21 Senior Registered

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    ;-) Am sure there are "willing" and open minded people but they just happen to be elsewhere in a "land far far away", not in Austria, at least out of my reach too. Ken, I love how you put it with the "side eye" - that is exactly how I experience things. My little one, now almost exactly 2,5 years old tells us (core family that is) over and over again how she used to take care of her older sister (now 10 years old) when her older sister was a baby and how she used to drive her to a doctor when she had hurt her leg. She isn´t sure which leg it was, but she drove the car she says, and her sister was in the baby seat. I think it´s amazing that she keeps telling me this for almost a year now. She does have a lot of fantasy too but this sounds quite solid to me.
    Ken, how do you feel about the gender switch? I suspect my problem with my switch is based on the fact of a violent and sudden death, as much as on a general male preference, but I don´t know…

    Beautiful how you describe the deep love to the lad, that is something that seems to last.
    Would like to read more about it, if there are any more details and facts you´d like to share. :)
     
  13. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Glia,

    I think we do have an innate "gender", even if only related to a preference and greater facility with certain roles and ways of thinking and acting. Why shouldn't we? Nonetheless, we're fairly versatile beings, so we can usually make it work either way while incarnate (especially if we have a good and effective memory block in place when we arrive here). At the least, I don't think a basic predilection one way or the other can be discounted. And, for me, the idea that the "spirit" is gendered seems like a very natural concept. However, just my opinion.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
  14. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I need to add some things. I've been questioned about the improbability of not having gender issues for having switched as I did, to that I have no answer other than reply that I have not had one in this lifetime. The other thing I have done is to send a link to this thread to some family/previous family members which has probably created some consternation.
     
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  15. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Ken,

    Wow and double Wow! Well, that took some nerve. If you were "Bilbo" in Hobbiton before, you may now find yourself relegated to being "Crazy Old Maurice" from Disney's version of "Beauty and the Beast". Hopefully, you can avoid being tossed out into the snow (I know it gets cold up there :confused:).

    From my perspective, the gender issue is an issue if it is and ain't if it ain't. There is no reason to make up some kind of absolute rule in these matters. I will, for the benefit of anyone who is interested (which may = zero) reiterate my approach to the matter (which you have already seen). BASIC POSITION: I see no reason to believe that some form of gender dysphoria or maladjustment is inevitable after an opposite gender PL. I see a two variable approach or a three variable approach as possible on this issue.

    First, if someone doesn't believe in any type of innate gender, then you have a two variable approach and there is the question of strength of PL memories vs. strength of memory barrier. So, a quiet non-conflicted life without a lot of trauma may not get past even a fairly weak memory barrier. OTOH, a very conflicted traumatic lifetime may get past a weak barrier but not get past a very strong memory barrier.

    We don't have any way to quantify these factors, all we can do is guess at what will get past an "average" strength barrier. The people on the board seem to typically have a rather weak memory barrier or else very strong PL trauma/issues pushing through whatever barrier they have. Those are the two types I usually see the most. The "Rememberers" (with a weak barrier) who often remember multiple PLs and don't seem to necessarily be conflicted, vs. the conflicted, who have conflicts/issues/traumas that punch through a stronger barrier--and often remember only their most recent troubled PL. Of course, there are others, but those seem to be the most prominent.

    Second, from my standpoint, there is a third factor, as I believe we have innate gender, if only in the form of certain propensities that make us more comfortable in male vs. female roles/mindsets. So, I suspect (just from this factor) that a movement into a "cross-gender" lifetime may be accompanied by some dysphoria unless there is a very strong memory barrier in place. Likewise, a movement from a "cross-gender" lifetime into the more natural gender for that person is less likely to be accompanied by any kind of dysphoria. As I think you fit into the last category, I am not surprised that you have not experienced any issues in this matter. (Just my 2 cents :cool:).

    However, there is much to be learned in re these matters.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  16. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    For my families, it is intended to be a 'wake-up' call that I hope to make clear even though it will probably be seen as some sort of mental problem I'm having. That jolt from going from a long-time 'believer' to 'knowing' kinda pushed me to do that. It is a little strange, something similar to someone becoming a 'born again' Christian or someone coming 'out of the closet' I suppose. Mainly it is out of love for them despite what they might otherwise feel.
     
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  17. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I can't express how impressed I am.
     
  18. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Ken,

    You're right of course, but I'm still a ways from taking that step myself. Like you, however, my time will come in regard to these matters.

    Thanks for the example,

    S&S
     
  19. glia21

    glia21 Senior Registered

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    Hi, brave thing to do, I wished I would dare to do this too. It will be beneficial for them if not for now then maybe in a little while. Love seems to last, and that is an important message.
    @gender issue - we´ve had long discussions here about that, about cross gender Pls and such -- Many seem to have a preference, either male or female, but if you are easy going with the switching, that maybe just means that you´re experienced enough to fit both. There is no reason to doubt things because of a lack of gender issue.
     
  20. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Glia,

    Agreed. The experience (old soul) approach has also been taken as a factor in terms of this issue. I mainly think of that when I think of Tanguerra, who was definitely a "rememberer" and seemed to have no problem with (or at least no recall of a problem) with her cross-gender lives. So, this could be another variable to throw in. That is one of the problems in terms of analyzing this issue--there are just too many variables that may impact the presence of dysphoria and/or maladjustment in this area . . . . and we actually know so little with any certainty.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     

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