Ian's story.

Hi,

I’m so glad to have found this forum. Also, I emailed Carol, and she suggested I post my story here. Hopefully, you guys can give me some insight into this. The other stories and comments have helped me make connections I’ve never made before, so now my experience is even more detailed than I first told Ms. Bowman. Please excuse the length!

I have a three-year-old son named Ian. He’s really strange, but in a good way. The kid is just amazingly good. Nearly every time we go out, a stranger will comment on how ‘adult-like’ he is, and that’s true. He acts like a very protective, very smart MAN. Also, his comprehension level and reactions to things surprise me constantly.

When he was 10 months old, I found out I had a brain tumor, which had to be surgically removed immediately. That left me unable to walk, eat, write, etc. (I’m much better now, by the way.) I also have narcolepsy. My life isn’t easy, to say the least, and I swear, if I had any other ‘kind’ of child, I don’t know how I’d manage.

When he wasn’t even two, he’d come to me as I cried from either physical or mental pain. “Mama cry?” He might pat my knee. “Mama ok?” Smile. “It ok, Mama.” Then, he’d inevitably go get his Dad to help me, even when I hadn’t asked him to. “Daddy, Mama need you.”

During these situations, he never seemed scared or confused. Keep in mind that I had an eye-patch, half of my face was paralyzed, my voice was different, too. I was scary! Plus, I’d sometimes be crying kind of hysterically, with no intention of him even seeing me. He’d seek me out. Always calm, cool, and collected. But at the same time, he’s always warm and protective. This has continued in the same way. Last month, my rib suddenly became dislocated, and I couldn’t breathe. I was gasping for air, and although he was concerned, he never panicked. Last week, I fell in the kitchen, and this time, I was screaming in pain and crying. He came running, but his reaction was, “Where is the phone? I need to call Daddy.” He was worried about me, but as usual, his need to DO something was very strong. No fear.

Now for the things he’s said:

Ever since he could talk, he would mention “Soh-Soh” and sometimes “Fay-oh.” I never understood where he got these so-called names, but he would never falter. Soh-Soh was especially important to him. I’m not saying he had an imaginary friend he talked to. He talked about these people as if they were real. Soh-Soh, as he’s always insisted, is his girl. He’s going to marry her, no doubt about it. In fact, when he sees any kind of flower, real or fake, he rushes to it. Just this week, we were in a craft store, and he brought me some. “Mom, I’m going to get these for the wedding.” La-ti-da! “What wedding?” (I TRY to never prompt his answers.) “To Soh-Soh.” “Ah, yes. Well, we’ll get her some later.” “Ok.”

This has happened many, many times. He mentions his wedding a LOT. He’s also very adamant that Soh-Soh loves red. Everything seems to be red. Her house, her dress, her lips, her flowers, etc. Once, I was making a bouquet for a friend, and when he saw it, his mouth dropped. It was all red and pink. “Mom! Mom, is that for Soh-Soh?!” “No.” He got mad! “But red is her favorite color! Let me have that for my wedding!” He got so riled-up (which is extremely rare) that I finally gave him some leftover flowers. He wasn’t completely satisfied, but took them. *By the way, he doesn’t particularly care for red.*

Before I was even interested in past lives, this is the story he told me. I didn’t prompt him AT ALL, and we were cooking at the time, so it seemed to be out of the blue.

"In my old life, my best friend was a king. He (did something to) Soh-Soh. I took my sword and tried to kill him, but he killed me first with his sword."

I was raised a Christian, so I’ve never believed in these things, but as was mentioned in the “4 signs,” I somehow knew this was no imaginary story. His tone was completely different. I wish I could remember exactly what the ‘king’ did.

After reading parts of the forum, I realized I should try to catch him when he was relaxed, so after waking, I immediately put him in the bath. During this time, he told me that Soh-Soh’s house is red, but it has ‘yellow stuff’ all over it, in every room. I asked him what kind of yellow, and he pointed out the faucet, which looks gold, then he went on to tell me all the rooms it was in. He also said her Dad is really nice. There’s more, but I can’t tell you everything. Too much!

Later, I began to write down our conversations. Excuse the ‘script’ of it, but that way seemed easiest to understand.

This past Friday:
We were talking about dreams, and he was telling me about a particular one. I said, "Did you really dream that or is it a pretend dream?" He said "real". (More discussion.) Since he seemed sure about reality and pretend, I continued.

Mom: Is Soh-Soh for real or for pretend?

Ian: .........Just pretend. (Grinning. That's the first time he's ever said that.)

Mom: Ok. (Phew!) You sure have been talking about her for a long time.

Ian: Well, she comes to my house.

Mom: When does she come to your house?

Ian: She comes to my house all pretty for a dance. (He tried closing the door, then opened it to correct himself.) ...I mean, wedding.

Mom: But when does she come to your house?

Ian: ......Saturday? (He says that for every kind of WHEN question, so I just kept going.)

Mom: No, I mean, does she come to your house now?

Ian: Soh-Soh is coming up in my life.

Mom: Coming up in your life? What does that mean?

Ian: She's coming to me.

Mom: What? Is she real or not?

Ian. She's real, but she's not here. She's coming up in my life.

Mom: How?

Ian: That's just how everything goes.

 

A few minutes later, I started straightening my hair, and I thought I'd see if he'd talk more. I thought if I kept myself busy, it might keep him at ease, and not seem like I was giving him a test. He was in the other room, so I yelled for him.


Mom: Leon! (He told me the other day that Soh-Soh calls him Leon.)


Ian: What? (Comes running.) I'm Ian.


Mom: Oh.


Ian: Leon is what Soh-Soh calls me. That's the old Ian. I'm the new Ian.


Mom: Oh, I see.


Ian: He was mean. (I’d never heard that before.)


Mom: Oh? Was he mean to Soh-Soh?


Ian: Yes, he was really mean to Soh-Soh. He was like this: (Angry face.)


Mom: Oooh, ok. So...uh...(trying to keep up the convo)...Is Soh-Soh a ghost?


Ian: (laughing) Nooo, she's real!


Mom: Oh, ok. Well, uh....does Leon speak English?


Ian: No. He goes like this.....(stands and stares for about 5 seconds)....blah, blah, blah.


Mom: Those aren't words. He says that?


Ian: Yeah, like...blah, blah, blah.


Mom: Can you understand him?


Ian: Yeah.


Mom: Where does he live?


Ian: Center Hill sky.


(That's where I grew up, not the town's name, but the community. The area is just called that by people around there, not mapped. I’m sure he’s heard someone mention that before, but it’s not something we sit around discussing.)


Mom: Oh. So, can I meet him?


Ian: No! He's mean.


Mom: But, I thought he was you.


Ian: Yeah, but he was mean. Now he's dead. Now I'm the new Ian. Soh-Soh thinks it's funny my name is Ian.


(Can’t remember what was next.)


Mom: Where did you say he lived?


Ian: In a old grass house....in Center Hill sky.


Mom: Ah, ok. How long did he live there? (I should've known better. That's a hard concept---years, months, even days.)


Ian: Hm....fifty hours?


Mom: Is that a long time?


Ian: Yes, a long time. Look Mom, it's like this.


*He's standing near the bathroom door, on one side is this really old door knob that's brassy, but the finish is worn off badly. On the other side is a new knob that's silver.*


Ian: See, Leon lives on this side. The old side. The one with the hole. (Points.) Now, I'm the new Ian and we live on this side. (Points to silver side.)


Mom: So, is Leon still there?


Ian: No, he's dead.


*When typing this to record it, I started getting confused as to what had been said, so since he was beside me on the sofa, I asked.*


Mom: What was it you said about Leon? Is he alive?


Ian: I'm Leon.


Mom: I know, but I can't remember what you said.


Ian: I'm Leon.


Mom: Did Leon's body die?


Ian: No. I AM Leon.


Mom: I know, but you're Ian and you're alive.


Ian: Yeah.


Mom: Ok. (Forget it!) What did Leon's body look like?


Ian: A snake. A suit. A snake suit like he's a superhero.


Mom: (Laughing.) You're just making that up.


Ian: (Turns and POW! Evil eye!) I am not! I'm serious!


Mom: Ok, so how would Leon have a snake body....or suit or whatever.


Ian: He had them everywhere. Here and here and here. (Pointing.) All over his body.


Mom: Snakes on a suit?


Ian: Nooo, they were on his skin. Tattoos all over. They were red.


Mom: Leon liked red?


Ian: Yes, but I like green now.


Mom: Oh.


(Insert stuff I can't remember! Sorry.)


Mom: I don't understand all this old Ian, new Ian stuff. I don't remember stuff like that.


Ian: But I do. I remember it.


We talked some more and he was going on and on about all kinds of odd things. I kept trying to ask him questions, so he just put his head down.


Mom: Am I confusing you?


Ian: Nope, but I'm confusing you!


An hour or so later, we went for a walk. He was very preoccupied by jumping, playing with a big stick, playing in the leaves, etc. I thought it would be a good time to talk to him while he wasn’t thinking so hard. Also, I want to mention that he doesn’t spend time thinking about the answers at all, unless he looks to be ‘trying to remember.’


We came upon some big rocks, where someone had lined their drainage system, and he began crawling on them. He said it looked like a mountain, and I asked if he’d ever climbed a mountain. He said, “Oh yes, with Soh-Soh and Kang-Seok.”


*Kang-Seok is this Korean friend of ours. I’ll get to that later.*


Mom: Oh, so you knew Kang-Seok?


Ian: Yes, he was my good friend.


Mom: Ahh. What was his name?


Ian: It was Kang-Seok. He came back as Kang-Seok again. (NO prompting from me!)


More walking, but I’m not talking.


Ian: Mom, you’re not saying my name right.


Mom: How do you say it?


Ian: It’s not LEE-on. It’s Li-AHN. (Li-an? Li-ang? Not sure.)


We kept walking and met an old man. Ian will talk to anyone. He’s completely unafraid of strangers and will only mildly put on a shy act for a few seconds, if at all. He walked right up and talked about the stick he was carrying. When we walked away, he said, “That old man sure was nice. But he was old.” I asked him, “What happens when you’re old?” He didn’t know.


So, I wondered if maybe he’d never gotten old. I waited a bit, and while he played in the leaves, I asked something more.


Mom: What happens when we die?


Ian: You go to jail.


Mom: What does jail look like? (He knows what a jail is.)


Ian: It looks like a dead city. A dead, dead city.


Mom: Oh. So, when Soh-Soh died, did she go there?


Ian: (Stopped and looked at me.) No! She was nice!


Mom: Oh. Where did she go?


Ian: She went to the great mountain. The great mountain king made her all better.


Mom: What does the great mountain look like?


Ian:............Like a golden army.

 

There’s MORE!


When he’s playing alone or really giddy from being excited, he’ll start saying these words. I never paid much attention to them until I read things on this forum. The other day, we were tickling each other and he said I was ‘poki.’ I asked what that meant, and he said, “It’s kind of like happy.” My Korean friend didn’t know what the word meant, but I looked it up online and one definition of it is: To have a pleasant face or expression. (Who knows if it's right, though.) Last night, he was playing with his jacket, which he’d put on a hook, and was making the arms of it dance around. He was going, “Anyoung, Anyoung, Anyoung” over and over again, like he was making it talk. That means “Hello” in Korean. I know at some point, our friend tried to teach him a few words, but Ian could never consciously remember them. I’ve asked specifically. Kang did comment on how strange it was that Ian can pronounce every word perfectly the first time, which is something he’d never heard someone do. (Then again, children are generally better at pronouncing foreign words SOMETIMES.)


The story gets a little stranger here—


Back when he was in the bath, I asked him if Soh-Soh was her real name. I couldn’t find anything online that indicated that Soh-Soh was a name, so it made me wonder. He said, “No, it’s not her real name. I just call her that for love.”


I started thinking. In Korea, you say the person’s last name first. Maybe it’s a play off her last name? I looked it up. Apparently, Soh is an ancient Korean surname that had something to do with the royalty of the Shilla dynasty. It said only about 90 people still have that name. They’re still living in that region.


Ok, now. Back in 2001, my husband and I decided we’d like to go teach English in Korea. We knew NO ONE who’d ever done that. We knew NO ONE there. We just looked online and got jobs. There was one church there, but it was an hour from where we lived. That town happens to be the capitol city of the Shilla dynasty. That’s where we met Kang-Seok! We instantly felt like family. Honestly, it was a very intense connection, not just with him, but with his parents, too.


A few years later, when we were back in TN, he had the opportunity to go to school in the USA, but was thinking maybe he wouldn’t do it. He emailed to ask if we knew where that particular college was located. Ten minutes from us! So, he decided to come here. That’s how he’s around Ian now, and they are extremely close. Kang is more like a brother than a friend. We’re completely relaxed around each other.


Keep in mind that South Korea is the size of Kentucky. Why, in the whole world, would we randomly choose that exact spot to live? Not even that, it was a small portion of that area! Strangely, we never experienced ‘culture shock’ and never felt homesick. Still, to this day, I miss it terribly.


Also, we thought we couldn’t have children, and before we went to Korea, we’d pretty much made up our minds we’d want to adopt a Korean child. When people ask us why we chose Korea, we tell them something about maybe wanting a kid from there—blah, blah, blah. Really, we had no idea.


After 7 years of marriage, and no reason I hadn’t become pregnant, it finally happened. (We were neither trying nor avoiding it.) A nurse in rehab told me that if I hadn’t become pregnant, they wouldn’t have found the tumor in time to save me. The fast-growing cells made me symptomatic, and I hadn’t been before.


Has my son come back to protect me? :-o


Again, I’m SO sorry this was long. I just wanted all the info out there, so you guys could give me your thoughts. How should I proceed? What should I look for? Am I doing anything wrong with my questioning?


THANKS!