Identity disorder? I need guidance...so many questions

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by indigopisces, May 17, 2018 at 10:28 PM.

  1. indigopisces

    indigopisces New Member

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    I have never been attuned with my body. Many of us here were probably considered "old souls" from birth. I feel like...every year I get older, the more disconnected I feel from my physical vessel and the more I remember who I was before. Like floodgates opening each and every year. Shouldn't human beings progress by self actualising themselves as their soul matures in this lifetime? I am going backwards. I am a 28 year old male this year and I know that around this age I passed away in my past life when I was in a female vessel.

    I've always known who I was "before". A lot of her old habits were transported to this life and I feel like I am going back to that same person, both good and bad traits. Shouldn't I be learning from my past life? Why am I repeating the same lifestyle pattern? Every time I look in the mirror I expect my old self looking back at me however I'm there standing looking at who I am presently. Skin tone, eye colour, gender, hair colour, everything that once was is now completely opposite staring back. It hurts so much. It hurts so much that each and every day I feel more disconnected than ever between my universal soul and current physical vessel.

    This goes beyond body dysmorphia. I am not transgender by any means. I am a sane individual, good job, friends, family, no mental disorders, I rationalise, and do not take any drugs or medications. I am consciously aware of this disconnect and I am reaching out for some guidance. How do I reconcile my current soul and current body and make peace with who I am today? I must let go of my old appearance. I did go through a past life regression session and everything I knew deep down all along was confirmed. From appearance to point of death. I was right all along.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2018 at 10:38 PM
  2. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi indigopisces, at times I too wish that I knew the purpose of my life, but then I realize that I would not truly learn the lesson - like having a cheat-sheet during a test rather than doing the work necessary to truly understand the answer. It has been a long time between your posts, a long time to be grappling with the same feelings.

    I've not experienced what you describe as I currently have no memories of a past lifetime other than a few snapshots. My thoughts when reading posts like the two that you've made lead me to wondering if your task/lesson is about breaking out of a pattern or if there is something in that pattern that is not yet understood. To have it as both male and female does not make it any clearer.

    What is it that "hurts so much"? Do you want to be that person? Do you want that vessel again? Do you not like your current vessel?

    How do we move on from the past, how much attention should it be given, what is so important about dwelling on what we can no longer change, these things are familiar to me in my current lifetime where I learned to do the best that I could with what I had. I personally feel sorry for the people who are "stuck" in the past, whether it is a past life or this lifetime, to the extent they are not "living" in the present. The work/lesson is in the current life, not the past life. Perhaps we can imagine a reason for current happenings from past experiences, but beyond that, why is it yet that important?
     
  3. landsend

    landsend New Member

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    I have experienced these feelings throughout my life, and am currently experiencing very similar feelings, except the opposite way round. I was a male then with the associated body differences. So I thought I'd share a few of my thoughts.

    First of all, I want to put it out there that we, of course, are more than our bodies. Bodies are temporary, it is not healthy to get too attached to anything, especially something transient such as the appearance and condition of ones body. That is the first lesson for me.

    Secondly, the past. Relieving feelings and thoughts from the past, especially from my past life, was due largely to a big chunk of unresolved issues. In my past life, I left my kids behind. I went missing-in-action. No one ever found out what happened to me. That's just the beginning of the unresolved stuff. I've been on a pathway to resolving those issues, which included after much consideration, contacting my previous selves family. This has been an incredible process, at times very painful, but incredibly healing. I recognise that it's not the norm, a lot of people just need to face up to the past. Shamans across various cultures recognise that when we experience trauma, parts of our souls get broken off and essentially get stuck in the past. That concept makes a lot of sense to me. Shamanic work / soul work can help us bring the broken parts of us stuck in the past up to the present. That is is the goal. Resolving trauma so that we can bring the past into the present, and dissolve the pain and stop the cycle of the past repeating itself.

    Thirdly, in my case, I recognise I am on the transgender spectrum. That was part of bringing myself up to the present. I'm still exploring this part. Just for the record, being transgender does not make you insane. It is not a mental disorder. It is a very real phenomenon that people experience, and many people need to transition in order to feel whole, and to feel comfortable in their current bodies. For me this was a very 'present' moment realisation. I realised that the person who I am now, is not different to the person who I was then. I've had out-of-body experiences and felt the energies of myself without a body, and my expression is largely male. Of course we are all in truth a blend of masculine and feminine. But my personal feeling is that we all have a different blend of those energies, based on our collective experiences throughout our lifetimes, and just based on how we were originally made. Actually, I'm coming to realise that gender is way more fluid than is portrayed in popular media. But it is largely about asking what makes you feel comfortable now, what makes you feel present, what makes you feel like you. That is the key, and the question to ask.
     
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