I know that if my former self didn't die, I wouldn't be the person I am now. Still, I'm unable to come to terms with the circumstances under which I died. It was a particularly gruesome, depraved murder. In fact, the victim is famous, yet I won't mention their name nor discuss the specific details of said death. I feel hopeless for the ill-fated person I was. I wish it hadn't happened. But then again, I wouldn't be here right now if so. I don't know how to accept it. I wouldn't exist without them dying. But their murder was so horrific-- I just can't accept it and move on.