Karoliina's memories

Discussion in 'Member's Memories - Archive' started by Karoliina, Jun 27, 2005.

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  1. Karoliina

    Karoliina Moderator Emerita

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    Two mentors


    In my latest PL I had first my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother to look up to. Three generations of wise women that had been through a lot. Later, when I had moved away from my granny and granna, and my momma had died, I was living with my uncle, who was still pretty young. I admired him, and he was giving me a lot of good advice on how to survive as a young woman without my parents. He had his own life and he was no angel, but he was always kind to me and did the best he could so that I wouldn't get into trouble. The conditions just weren't the best you could imagine.


    Later he had to put me in a foster home as he couldn't offer me a home himself anymore. He visited me, but a little later he disappeared and I never found out what happened. A couple of years ago in this life I had a dream about him, and I thought he was my spirit guide as I didn't remember him from this PL yet. Well, maybe he is, who knows.


    Another mentor I remember was a foster mother I lived with in Sweden about 100 years ago. I went to live with her when I was maybe 6-8 years old. She was a kind of hermit, and we lived alone on a small island. She gathered herbs for healing purposes and taught me a lot about them and other things, too. I loved her dearly, but she was considered weird by the rest of society. I was taken away from her when I was arround 10 years old and I never saw her again.


    Karoliina


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  2. Karoliina

    Karoliina Moderator Emerita

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    Roman rite of passage


    This morning I had a dream (or actually I was in that in-between state, almost asleep). I felt I was in ancient Rome. I was a boy or a young man, just about to reach adulthood - turning 18 or whatever the Roman equivalent was then.


    I was excited, because it meant I could hold a speech in the Senate or some other institute for the first time. My father had something to do with it - either he had arranged the opportunity or then because he was the member of the Senate, I was to follow him or something like that.


    I remember there were round marks on the ground before the Senate where people would go to speak, and I remember I had to wait for my turn as there were other, more important people that were to speak before me.


    Karoliina


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  3. Karoliina

    Karoliina Moderator Emerita

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    Unfortunately I don't have many detailed memories of papa - for some reason - but I have a very good overall image of him. A wonderful man in many ways - I wonder where he is now. I'll attach something I wrote about him earlier:

    Karoliina


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  4. Karoliina

    Karoliina Moderator Emerita

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    My first name was Kimille and I was born to a Hispanic man and an African-American woman in 1958 or so in the South of the US. We lived close to a small town, and it was not a wealthy neighbourhood, but people had your typical Southern houses that were white and had porches going around them. I think I was an only child and possibly an accident - at least my parents didn't seem to want to be together. I don't have many memories of my father, but he was a nasty man.


    I was close to my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. The latter two lived together close to us, and we spent a lot of time at their house with my Momma. We also went to church regularly.


    When I was maybe 6 years old, my Momma and I moved to Brooklyn, NYC. We went there without my father, and I believe we escaped him. My uncle - Momma's younger brother - lived there and helped us to settle. I was sad to leave Grandma and Granna, but life was good in Brooklyn. My mother was cleaning public buildings, I believe, and she had to work a lot so she was away often, and tired when she was at home, but we were still happy, and the wonderful neighbourhood community took care of me. We lived in South Brooklyn, and I think I even know the buildings we lived in.


    However, my Momma died when I was around 10 years old and at first I lived with my uncle. Pretty soon he decided to move to California and said I couldn't live with him there. He took me to California, but I went to live with a foster family. I think I lived in at least two different families, and unfortunately they were not good experiences. I also remember living in a small group home, which was a good place, but I'm not sure when this was exactly.


    During that time I got to know a family - a young mother with a couple of children. The mother was a junkie trying to stay clean, but she failed soon. I was still feeling more at home with them than with my foster family, so I was helping the mother taking care of the children and befriended her oldest daughter, who was maybe five years younger than me. Later the mother died because of an OD and I ran away with her daughter, because I didn't want her to end up in a foster family like me. We lived in a couple of places with the people the girl's mother had known. When the girl died in a fire, I was put in a bigger group home. I had already gotten to know alcohol and drugs, and I continued my wild ways there with my new friends. I wasn't a totally lost cause yet - I went to school etc., but I also got pregnant twice and my life was starting to become a real mess.


    In the end, when I was 16 or 17 years old, I ran away with my boyfriend and it's not a pretty story. My boyfriend was also my pimp, as we both needed money for drugs. We lived in a dirty apartment with other junkies and I don't think I went out at all in the last months or so. I died when my boyfriend beat me up, but I was happy and relieved to go, and was able to forgive the boyfriend as soon as my soul left my body.


    I have often felt sad and powerless when I remember Kimille's life, but I like to think about the good moments there were, too. Besides, the dying moment I experienced in a dream was actually beautiful and gives me comfort. I also remember to be grateful for having such a different life this time around.


    Karoliina


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  5. Karoliina

    Karoliina Moderator Emerita

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    My memories and feelings of my PL fathers are still very fleeting, but I thought I'd share this tiny journal note from January, 2006, when I was remembering a PL in Ireland in the 1600's:

    Also, one of my earliest PL memories is of being a little girl, living on the Orkneys (Scotland). In the memory I'm standing at the sea shore, on some big rocks, waiting for my father to sail home. Suddenly a big wave comes and I fall down, drowning in the end. :(


    Karoliina


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  6. Karoliina

    Karoliina Moderator Emerita

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    The following was a brief flash in a meditation in March 2007, and it was pretty awful, as I could feel my PL-self panicking so strongly. It's from a Louisiana plantation towards the end of the 1700's:

    I was quite many years older than my sister and I was almost like another mother for her. We were close and I felt responsible of her, which obviously made the above even worse.


    Then some snippets of my other Southern plantation PL, this time in South Carolina and right before Louisiana:

    There are good and bad memories of siblings... Also in other lifetimes. But the majority are good ones and in this life I feel very lucky having two most wonderful sisters. :thumbsup:


    Karoliina


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  7. Karoliina

    Karoliina Moderator Emerita

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    Karoliina's memories


    I did a self-regression today with an open mind - and by that I mean there wasn't anything puzzling me and I wasn't expecting answers to any specific question. It seems I discovered a new past life as a result.


    I'm not sure where or when it took place, but I'll list here things I got during the regression. I'll probably look more into this lifetime as time allows, but if other members want to help me with the exploration and validations, I'm happy to hear your suggestions and findings. :)


    At the beginning I saw myself wearing a green, floaty dress, slippers and a headdress that had a round disk standing above my head. My hair was long and dark, my nose long, too. I felt the surroundings were dry and deserty even though I was in a lush garden. I got a name Miriam, Maryam, Mirja or something else like that. Could've also started with Myr-.


    When I was trying to think of my location, I got Persia, then India... Middle East, I was also thinking about Egypt. Later I got Babylon and somehow connected this life to Judaism.


    I saw a big palace with the huge garden I was in to start with. There were rectangular pools of water, and tiles of a yellowish colour. I got one childhood memory in which I was a toddler, walking barefooted on those warm tiles. I had recently learned how to walk. Just before I reached one of the pools, a woman grabbed me under my arms, and lifted me up laughing.


    As an adult/young woman I think I was living in that palace surrounded mostly by other women and guards (?). There was a lot of dancing, singing and festivities going on regularly. Life was easy and a lot of fun. There were parties where people would dance around a fire, there were magicians doing tricks, and on normal days I and the other women would lie around on big pillows and cushions etc. eating delicious food on plates served to us.


    When I thought about the delicacies we ate, I remembered things made with halva, dates and figs. I was also thinking about olive trees and jasmin in some form. I'm not sure if it was the flowers, scent or what, but jasmin was somehow significant.


    Stars were somehow very important. I'm not sure if it was about science or religion, but I think we thought "everything" was in the stars.


    I had a boy child, and it was a huge deal. I think the boy was called Arun or something like that, and I saw him as a newborn wrapped in an ornamented shawl/cape (?) that was blue or had a lot of blue ornaments. The baby's skin was also painted or decorated with jewels or something. It's possible he had a bindu on his forehead. There was a big celebration because of his birth, and we were carrying him in a parade.


    For some reason I don't have a clear picture or my husband, but apparently he was someone important. Even though he was "there", I think my everyday life was spent with other women and my child. I remember lying on my bed with my son and it's late evening. It's just us in this room or ramada, I'm not sure if it's closed on all sides. At least there are window/s with no glass, just thin cloth that moves in the mellow wind. I know there are guards just outside.


    I get an idea of exotic animals, like elephants and tigers, which would point to India.


    If I think about the clothes we wore, I see floaty clothes of thin material, but I think even the women wore mostly outfits with baggy trousers rather than dresses. Lots of scarves that were used in dancing. Men had baggy trousers, too, and slippers with turned-up toes.


    I see myself as an old woman, probably very close to my death, probably in that same room and bed. I'm very content, and ready to go. I'm talking to a young man and woman, I believe they are my grandchildren, and I'm very pround of them.


    I'm not sure, but if I had to guess, I'd say I was from Babylon, possibly of Jewish descent, and my husband was Indian. Maybe the area we lived in was Persia. I'm not familiar with the history of those three, but I have an idea they have had business with each other at times. I was getting Persia strongly all the time, and it was mostly some things I experienced that made me think of India, too. And then came "Babylon" loud and clear, so I suspect it has something to do with all this as well.


    I think I know why I remembered this lifetime now. I found out a week ago I'm expecting a baby boy, and even though I remember dozens of past lifetimes, this far I didn't have any memories of having a happy lifetime with a son I loved and who loved me, and in which we both would've lived to an old age and nothing tragic would have happened. With this memory from today I got this feeling of having had a very good relationship with my son, and us both living happily to the old age, loving each other and other family members. It felt like a very, very good life.


    Karoliina


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