Life of a ww1 soldier, need help

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Jupiter 11, Aug 14, 2018.

  1. Jupiter 11

    Jupiter 11 Senior Member

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    Hi tanker,

    Some people need to travel across the world to visit their pl locations, in my case, it's not that far, but I have still 5 hours of driving before getting there. My mother and I already planned the trip for the next summer.

    As I already said, it is a big relieve to have my mother knowing about my past life, even if she can't understand everything. I mean, she urges me to let go my former self, as if I could do it in a snap of fingers. It's not that easy. Of course I have to live my actual life, the present is a gift as we say, but at the same time the soldier will always be a part of me, because he's a part of my soul.

    It's not that I especially want to keep the soldier with me; the thing is that my former self saw things at war that cannot be easily forgotten. I don't think I will ever describe to my mother the gory details of war. Last night again, I made nightmares about it.

    And the programs that pass on tv due to the Remembrance Day don't help. We talk a lot about ww1 in class. I don't know if you feel that too, but sometimes I'm nearly jealous of other people' carelessness. They don't have any pl memories so they can talk about war and remained unaffected whereas I'm going to be upset by the subject.

    On the other hand, having those memories help me in some way with the flood. My mother and neighbours are devastated because of this disaster, but on my side, I think that it's really nothing compared to what I lived during the war. As long as you're alive and safe, it's ok.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2018
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  2. CanSol

    CanSol Senior Member

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    You don't necessarily have to let go of your past life, most know I and some others can't, I stopped trying
    The Past Life is a part of you just as much as this life is, you 'just' have more memories and awareness than those without past life memories (some are new souls just starting so don't have any other lives)

    right now I'm dealing with the same dread of Remembrance Day approaching, some years are easier than others and especially with being confronted with it at school makes it even harder, the tv can be controled better than a history class (although I was never above getting kicked out of class, I either kept correcting the teacher to the point where he couldn't take it anymore or kept being annoying till I got thrown out, not recommended but if it becomes too much to handle.....)
     
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  3. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Jupiter, I understand very well what you're saying about the things we saw that can't be forgotten. They are things that we, as present-life people, could never even imagine. I've spoken about some, but there are others I shall never put into words, and if I tried, I wouldn't be able to describe. I don't concentrate on them now, and rarely dream of them. I see no need to go into details if it's of no benefit to anyone else. I'm sorry you still have nightmares. I hope they will fade over time.

    Despite all the bad things, I choose to keep the soldier with me all the time. He was honoured by so few, and mourned by so few, and probably remembered by so few, that I try to put things right for him.

    I find Remembrance Day very difficult. I can't go to the ceremonies. I have to spend the morning alone, thinking of all those who never came home, thinking of their families, thinking too of those who were heroes whichever side they were on. And of all those futures lost ... except that we know, quietly, that some at least did have a future in another place, like us. No, I don't think I envy other people's carelessness. I think I need to be reminded of the things I had to do.

    It's a difficult one, when you're encouraged to let go of your former self. I think parents imagine it would do us good to forget so many bad things, but personally I feel it's a decision to be taken when one's much older. The things we remember will shape us, hopefully for the better. Our experiences give us a perspective that we wouldn't otherwise have. It's up to each of us to decide what's best, I think. No doubt your mother worries for you and wishes you hadn't had that difficult time. She is trying to protect you, but at the same time perhaps you need to protect her a bit too. It must be hard for her to deal with all that's happened in a short time, with the flood and then discovering this about you. It's great that she is sharing it with you, though, and above all taking you to your old village and surroundings. I'm sure it will make you both stronger, as well as strengthen the bond between you. As you say, as long as we are alive and safe, we are ok.
     
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  4. Jupiter 11

    Jupiter 11 Senior Member

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    Hi tanker,

    I've been very busy these days so I see your message just now. What a beautiful and wise message you wrote here. Indeed, having those memories gives me a different perspective on the war. A responsability to maintain the memory of ww1, with the memory of this soldier.
    I realized that just today.

    I went to the commemoration ceremony of my village. It was very emotional and solemn, especially for me. I was happy to celebrate this with my mother and the rest of the village. Returning home, I wrote down new memories I had these past few weeks. I'm trying to remember all my friends to pay tribute to them.

    We're on November 11th 2018. Let's have a thought for the brothers, fathers, sons of all nations who gave their lives so that we can be free today. May they rest in peace.

    upload_2018-11-11_17-54-22.jpeg
     
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  5. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Jupiter, I'm glad you were able to go to your village's commemoration ceremony. It must have been especially meaningful for you this year. I'm glad you had new memories, and I look forward to hearing them if you'd like to share.

    I watched the ceremony in London on TV. I have to be alone on this special day each year. It makes you realise how futile war is, but it's important to remember the fallen, and their families.

    I hope you're making progress with restoring your village after the flood. How is your house looking now?
     
  6. CanSol

    CanSol Senior Member

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    I too want to be alone as much as possible on Remembrance Day and don't know why but this one was one of the hardest that I've had, spend most of the day watching various commemorations, wasn't interested in doing anything else
    Day was full of flashbacks from WWI, WWII and Afghanistan, the night's gonna be interesting
     
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  7. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    This one was the hardest I've had too, CanSol. I think because of all that's come up on the forum, perhaps. Feelings are raw today.
     
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  8. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Yeah, I shed a few tears today myself. Dunno why. Its not about remembering the wars I was involved with.
     
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  9. CanSol

    CanSol Senior Member

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    The forum, centennial of WWI and therefore commemorations are hard to avoid, a combination of various factors
    Maybe the others who fought in any of the wars jump in on how they're doing (missery loves company ;) )

    Commemorations and Remembrance services are great for he general public but for those that seen conflict, no matter where, it can be a day in hell
     
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  10. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Maybe the forum is the only place we can find company in our misery? Certainly a day in hell.
     
  11. CanSol

    CanSol Senior Member

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    Could be, atleast here we're not declared insane when we're dealing with flashbacks and the likes from who knows when
    Hoping for atleast a night without too many nightmares for all of us affected, today's been hard enough
     
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  12. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Well to be honest lads today I thought 'what's the point?' All those soldiers are dust whether they died on the battlefield or as old men. Life is the cruelest battlefield of all. Its completely unmerciful. All cries are silenced. Its even worse being a reincarnationist because those wars are still carried within me yet the rest of the world has moved on. War just seems so futile to me. Maybe someone can remind me what people fight for...because I forget since my perspective changed.
     
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  13. CanSol

    CanSol Senior Member

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    I've once disected why some wars had to be fought, others could've been avoided if events leading up to them were handled differentlyvand why others were unjust and should never have happened in the first place
     
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  14. helz_belz

    helz_belz Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I spent the morning looking at the clock and thinking 'not long now, hang in there'. Soon after the two minute silence, I looked at the clock and said 'you made it' and had a bit of a cry. I kept wondering what I/my soldier was doing on the Armistice a century ago, after four years of fighting and suddenly not having to fight any more.
     
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  15. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Listening to recorded accounts from those veterans yesterday ... one of the unexpected things was to hear how some found the sudden silence, after four years of noise, difficult to deal with. One described it as 'eerie'.
    It interested me because I still enjoy the sounds of explosions and loud bangs oddly comforting, which seems illogical. Wondering if any ex-soldiers find this too?
     
  16. CanSol

    CanSol Senior Member

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    In my case heavy thunderstorms and fireworks can set off my PTSD, get the urge to hit the ground and take cover but not too surprising after centuries of fighting in wars
     
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  17. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    I can not be outside during a thunderstorm and have to get away from windows. As a kid I would huddle in a ball in the middle of a room. As for fireworks I feel the same way, wouldn't get close to any if they were being set off, although the irrational reaction has lessened since I've grown older. My daughter is the same and told my husband yesterday that fireworks make her scared and cry.

    Tanker maybe the sounds of the explosions remind you of the fondness you felt for tanks/or the safety you felt in the presence of tanks? I feel the relaxing feeling when I hear helicopters for that reason. They remind me that 'safety' is imminent.
     
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  18. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Hey CanSol, really sorry to hear that those sounds still worry you, although as you say it's not surprising. I hope this fades over time.
     
  19. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    landsend, sorry to hear you and your daughter having that. I hope your daughter finds it will fade over time.

    I think explosions remind me of being surrounded by my Kameraden and tanks, yes, but not a feeling of safety, as I certainly didn't have that. More a feeling of belonging, what feels right. I'm out there in thunderstorms and fireworks, hoping for louder ones, loving the disorientation of it which makes me forget the present. I can imagine myself back there for a while. When other people are frowning and covering their ears, I have a big smile on my face. But who'd want to be back on a battlefield? Crazy.
     
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  20. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    I hope it fades for her too, but she is a particular child and very stubborn so I doubt it will. She has not spoken of any memories yet, but she’s not yet three. Time will tell. I hope for her sake it fades and she heals other ways.

    What you say makes sense. It does sound crazy but being in the heat of battle can make you very present in that moment, all your senses heightened, I can understand that.
     
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